#10.4.13

[stumpomatic-blog]

Source

[randomcrapiwrote]

letter to myki

Dear Myki,

Surprise, have a letter from Europe =] I hope that you got home safely and have been having just a fantastic time since then (although I'm sure we've probably talked on fb since then, whatever, its a letter. You have to say things like that.) Are you glad to be home? Do you miss Middelburg? I don't know what to expect when I go home. It's just going to be weird, because for so long I have always had the next trip or big thing to look forward to, but this exchange was the ultimate big thing, and I don't know what to look forward to now. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not doing anything especially exciting (that I know of.) I guess I'll just have to see what happens. If I save up enough money I will study abroad again for sure, but it all depends on de geld. Are you going to keep using Dutch now that you've left? I got in the habit of trying to translate everything in my head (altho i never said it out loud because then people just deride my somewhat pathetic efforts) but now there's really no point because even if I said it out loud, everyone would just have to believe me that it was right. I do have a friend who speaks German pretty well, but she thinks Dutch is hella crazy weird, so I'm not sure if she would be able to figure out what I was saying. It's sad, because I did like Dutch. And now I might as well forget it. Do you think you will live in Europe when you grow up, now that you have already had the experience? I think I learned that I don't want to live in Europe after all. Well, actually, I think if I moved with my best friend or something, it would be an adventure, but when you're all alone its just really sad and lonely and not really my idea of a good time. 

I'm super excited for the new semester to start! But I'm nervous about my new roommate. I can't believe they still haven't told me who I'm rooming with, and I move in 3 weeks. I would really not mind knowing, so I can have Maggie facebookstalk them for me and tell me their life story. She's way better at that than I am. I wonder if me and Maggie will still hang out when we go home. I think that we will do some stuff occasionally, and I know that we will party, because we promised we would, but I'm hoping that she will still go on walks with me and stuff. I'm also nervous about going back home to my friends. All my friends are the kind that I talk to face to face, and I don't really text them ever, so I talked to my best friend Chance like 10 times while I was gone, and my second best friend Jaime like 4, and various other friends like twice. So we're not exactly caught up on each other's lives. Oh yeah, and right after I left for Middelburg, one of my so-called "friend"s flipped the fuck out on me because she thought I was trying to steal her boyfriend, whom I was friends with, and she went around telling everyone what a slut I was (which was ridiculous) and she was sending me death threats and shit and that was really fun, because the only things I was hearing from home was go fuck yourself, basically, and there was one message where she said something about you better stay as far away from me as possible or I'll fuck you up and I was just like really? Really? Im in the fucking Netherlands, how much farther do you want me to go? Fucking wanker. I'm actually glad she quit talking to me because she was a shitty friend, and I admit, I stabbed her in the back occasionally. It was a pretty mutual thing. She had a tendency of telling me how much she didn't like me to my face. I was at least more subtle. But now I have to go home, and she lives in my town, and my parents will probably be like, and how's Emily? and I'll be like fuck if I know, pry still on a vendetta. So that's fun. 

So tell me about your friends, Myki! Who's your best friend? what are they like? why are they your best friend? and what about the rest of them? what do you guys like to do together, just hang out, or do you go do actual things (me & my friends just sit in each others rooms and pester each other (or smoke weed) so I'm not sure what actual things other people do together. sports maybe? fuck idk)?

Who am i guessing at? i can't talk when I'm high, let alone write letters. then theres actual physical proof and its not really a good idea

[louobedlam]

[mousepatrol]

10.4.13

things are gong to get easier very quickly.

soon ill be 16. 

then ill get my license. 

then ill have a job.

then ill have money.

you can do a lot with money.

2 - uncomfortable

[myuncertainlife]

Holy fuck am I sore.

[welcome-to-all-kpop]

BtoB Challenge (Can be found here: X)

Day 23: Your favorite thing about Sungjae

I just...I love maknae. I can't really pinpoint my favorite thing about him. I'd have to say his voice. It's so nice to listen to, crystal clear, and blends in well with the other members' vocals. 

Oh! But also I love how Sungjae chose Minwoo whenever asked to pick between Minhyuk and Peniel. Such a sweet, friendship cherishing maknae.

[katecarolanne]

The song of insanity is on replay in my head and I can’t find the pause button

[365days-of-thoughts]

October 4, 2013

Texted you first this time and it lead to a long conversation again.... but nothing ever substantial comes up haha......I don't know..... so like I think I'm going to stop.... the snapchats, you dont even respond to them, so I'll stop and the texts, if you'll text me I'll respond but otherwise, I think it needs to stop...... I don't know.... it's like I enjoy it but it's not like anything's going to come out of it so why am I being so overly friendly.... I need to stop thinking of him as a boyfriend and more as a friend, be more comfortable around him, try to get closer to him emotionally so we can talk that way instead of just surface stuff.... otherwise our friendship would never get anywhere.....gah..........it's like you keep wanting to see me almost but then you ugh idk..................... ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????