(/holds his cigarette between his lips carefully, zipping up the one suitcase he's bringing with him. it's more of a backpack than anything else-he's never been one for material bullshit. it holds mostly clothes for lena but there are a few of his things inside as well. the scrapbook junsu gave him for christmas, the coffee mug hyosung bought him, the gloves ryeowook stitched together. a picture of cassie, wrinkled around the edges but just as beautiful as it's ever been)
(/she doesn't reply and kibum doesn't expect her to, instead crossing the room and lifting her into his arms carefully. he flicks the light off, making his way to the door of his room quietly. lena doesn't say anything, curling her fingers in his hair like she always does)
(/the rooms are bare, carpets lined with vacuum marks. his eyes flicker around a little, remembering slowly the things he thought wouldn't matter but suddenly do)
Appa couldn't sleep his first night here. (/adjusts his bag on his shoulders, closing the door to his quarters behind him. he remembers his first night, when he couldn't get the key in the door. he remembers coming out in the mornings and coming face to face with the old music teacher, jinki. he remembers having hyosung pressed against him on the frame, spouting off about how great they'd be. he didn't believe her then) The bed was too thin.
(/lena lays her head on his chest, lulled by the sway of his walk. it doesn't take long to get to his office, the room bare save for his desk and the chairs the students use)
(/he smiles sadly, eyes tracing over the chalkboard before running over his desk. he remembers kim heechul, the boy with too many questions and too little understanding of the real world. kibum wonders if bejing is as great as heechul thought)
(/the desk looks at lot like the desk in bradley moores room. they're probably the same copy. he wonders if anyone will catch the other. he wonders if it even matters anymore. he should be angry, he knows it, but he just can't be. not now. not after he's let go)
(/there's a little notch on the wood and he remembers that clearly. jung yubin, psychology, a big mouth and an even bigger ego. he thinks of the godchild he has waiting for him somewhere and wonders if he's allowed to visit. if yunho will have brazilian coffee and yubin will tease him for being so uptight and maybe donghae will be there too, grinning lazily at the children. they'll be surprised by lena, but warm too)
(/he turns his back, walking towards the exit quietly. he can't tell if lena's asleep, but she isn't saying anything so he doesn't bother her. the cafeteria is empty, void of students. for a brief moment he sees a milk bottle rolling across the tiles and a pair of wide eyes staring up at him as he hands it over. secretly, he hopes ryeowook found his prince charming. he thinks of the countless students he's spoken to. did they ever find what they were looking for? is min still afraid of the dark? did jihye ever learn how to talk to authority? is yongguk still hiding from reality? he knows he won't ever know these answers but still, he can't help but wonder)
(/lena is asleep, he finds out as he tucks her into her seat, pushing his backpack in the empty seat beside hers. she snuggles into her jacket as he closes the door and he smiles slightly)
(/he looks back at the school for a few seconds, enormous and welcoming and everything kibum had needed before. when he was broken and bleeding and hurt so badly he thought he'd never be okay again. that's the past. he's still broken and bleeding but now there are people to help him walk, to change his bandages. the school was a great place to get his thoughts in order, but it isn't where he belongs. he knows that now)
(/after a few seconds he gets in the car, pushing the handle into drive and pressing his foot to the pedal. the ride isn't slow but it feels long, hyosungs apartment feeling farther and farther away the longer he drives. he knows the airport will be even farther) )
(/a soft voice pipes up in the back seat, a mumbled "appa" but an "appa" nonetheless) Yea? (/she motions with one hand, the other stuck firmly to her mouth, lips around a thumb. it takes him a few seconds to understand what she's saying but when he does he smiles, eyes crinkling around the edges)
