#12 lessons

[thinkingonaname]

[atsukouchan-blog]

12 lessons ! -- [12/12]

setelah sekian lama, akhirnya saya menulis lesson terakhir ini.. haha. semoga 12 lessons ini bermanfaat bagi jiwa-jiwa yg perlu sokongan energi atau paling ga ya hiburan sembari scrolling TL Tumblr kan ya? hahaha.. selamat membaca lesson 12 yg berjudul.....

BERANI BERBAGI IMPIAN

setiap orang pasti memiliki mimpi atau impian masing-masing.. ada yang kesannya reachable, banyak juga yang kesannya unreachable.. impian yang unreachable ini terkadang bikin kita berpikir "ah ga kesampean nih pasti, ngarep banget gw jadi orang" atau mungkin "gw punya bakat apa sih yg bisa bikin gw ngeraih impian ini? cuma keajaiban. udahlah jadi orang biasa aja." ini masih yang dalam pikiran, belum kalo keucap. ucapan itu doa loh, tau ga seberapa hal itu berperan dalam hidup kita? hanya sharing aja nih apa aja keanehan yg membahagiakan selama beberapa bulan ini. 1. AKHIRNYA SAYA KE JEPANG DAN UNTUK KERJA PRAKTEK!!! awalnya saya cuma ngomong ceplas ceplos dengan ngarep tinggi untuk bisa ke Kerja Praktek (KP) di Jepang, dan itu juga cuma berani sama teman-teman dekat. kebetulan emang ada kemungkinan bisa terealisasi tapi paling juga 10%, dan ini yg bikin saya rada waswas. hari demi hari menjelang deadline pengajuan KP, saya makin minder dan ga berani ngomong. apalagi ada aja yg udah tau saya rencana KP ke Jepang dan malah bikin makin ga yakin. tapi.... saya bertahan dan tetap yakin akan kesana. intinya: saya udah pede sebut2 mimpi saya ini. 2. SAYA AMBIL MATA KULIAH SESUAI ASAL NGOMONG WAKTU AWAL KULIAH. yaa pokoknya ada lah mata kuliah pilihan yg saya ambil di semester ini. percaya tidak kalau ini mata kuliah yg dihindari tapi saya bisa meyakinkan dosen wali saya kalau saya memang minat dengan matkul tersebut? jadi awal mulanya adalah saat sharing tentang alasan ambil jurusan Teknik Informatika waktu tahun pertama kuliah. ada yang bilang "pengen bikin game", "gw emang suka ngoding", "ah ga tau, kenapa ya milih ini?", dan tau jawaban saya? hanya berdasarkan rasa takjub dengan sistem keamanan kedutaan Jepang doang.. jawaban saya: "pengen belajar keamanan gitu, kayak di kedutaan atau di bandara" sejujurnya ada salah paham sih, tapi ya keamanan inilah yg sedang saya pelajari, doakan sukses yaa.. :) 3. IDE TOPIK TUGAS AKHIR (TA) BERAWAL DARI PEMIKIRAN "CEPAT" PAS NGERJAIN TUGAS LAB. dulu waktu saya keterima masuk lab AI, saya dapat tugas dari Aslab nya untuk bikin aplikasi dengan materi AI. yap. terlintas langsung "STRESS DETECTOR". akibatnya, saya yg anti-ngoding jadi bisa milih ICM yg ngoding banget kata orang sih.. daaaaan akhirnya rencana TA saya ini tetap tentang "deteksi" walaupun bukan tentang "stres".. hahaha. doain juga yaa TA saya dapat sukses dan lancar jaya.. hehe. sebenarnya masih banyak lagi sih, tapi nanti bisa jadi novel.. hahaha.. XD jadi teman-teman, yuk BERANI BICARAKAN IMPIAN KITA KE SEKITAR DAN SIAP UNTUK MEWUJUDKANNYA!

JKA.

[arc-deus-est]

Shaun Tomson

I will never turn my back on the ocean: Passion

I will paddle around the impact zone: No short cuts

I will take the drop with commitment: Courage, focus and determination

I will never fight a rip tide: The danger of pride and egotism

I will always paddle back out: Perseverance in the face of challenges

I will watch out for other surfers after a big set: Responsibility

I will know that there will always be another wave: Optimism

I will ride and not paddle into shore: Self-esteem

I will pass on my stoke to a non-surfer: Sharing knowledge and giving back

I will catch a wave every day, even in my mind: Imagination

I will realize that all surfers are joined by one ocean: Empathy

I will honor the sport of kings: Honor and integrity

[atsukouchan-blog]

12 lessons ! -- [11/12]

BELAJAR CARI TITIK FOKUS, KAPAN ZOOM IN, KAPAN ZOOM OUT

sebagai seorang manusia, saya termasuk tipe yang senang melakukan observasi. keseringan sih ga penting, tapi sering juga berguna untuk orang-orang sekitar saya. tetapi sebagai manusia yg pastinya tidak lepas dari kelemahan, saya adalah tipe gampang panik, dipikir berkepanjangan dulu, dan akhirnya bingung sendiri, terus kadang berujung pada nangis ga jelas.. -___- istilahnya sih think more act less nih kelemahan yg ter-menyebalkan saya. nah, kebetulan hari ini ada beberapa kejadian karena TMAL tadi, dan dampaknya sungguh nyata membahana, kuliah siang bersama ayahanda pun diadakan secara informal.. panjang lebar dengan inti "kuliah" adalah cara menyikapi suatu keadaan / masalah. yg saya pelajari dari "kuliah" tersebut adalah 1. kita harus tau kapan melihat secara keseluruhan dan kapan melihat secara detail 2. tapi tetap harus melihat dari kedua sisi tersebut 3. serta dapat mengolah hasil "penglihatan" tadi kedalam hasil akhir rencana tindakan yg akan dilakukan 4. tapi apalah itu semua apabila kita tidak tau titik mana yg harus menjadi fokus kita kembali mengingat saya tipe think more act less, dan sedang berupaya menjadi tipe think effectively act wisely, saya cerna baik-baik "kuliah" gratis dari ayahanda. kemudian saya menyadari bahwa terkadang saya kebanyakan mikir diluar titik fokus, dan yg penting sering tidak terjamah.. sekarang tinggal kemauan dari saya untuk mengubah diri menjadi lebih baik. :) BELAJARLAH MENGETAHUI DIMANA TITIK FOKUS PERMASALAHAN YG DITEMUI, KEMUDIAN BELAJAR SAAT HARUS ZOOM IN DAN ZOOM OUT

JKA.

[atsukouchan-blog]

12 lessons ! -- [10/12]

LATIH DIRI TERSENYUM DAN BERGEMBIRA

akhir-akhir ini saya merasa penyakitan. nyaris tiap hari pusing.. makin kesini tambah ulu hati suka sakit.. belom lagi langganan masuk angin.. tidak lupa makin sering linglung ga jelas. saya sadar jg saya makin kesini makin bermuka jutek, kurang senyum, males ngomong tapi sekalinya ngomong sinis. mungkin ini efek banyak pikiran yang numpuk, ditambah pola makan makin ga jelas, daaaan sensiannya sedang di level tak hingga. dan hari ini (13/6/13) saya pergi menemani ibu saya dan keluarga adik ibu saya, dengan status kesehatan saya : demam dari pagi, menggigil di mobil sendiri, kadang oleng ga jelas, kadang perut melilit ga jelas, kadang pusing dahsyat ga jelas dan demi apapun lah diakhiri dengan diare ga jelas di malem buta gini. (untung diarenya pas udah pulang ke rumah) nah terus ceritanya saya udah lemes banget dan tiba-tiba teringat kata-kata ibu saya yang ngutip dari ayat alkitab, "Hati yang gembira adalah obat yang manjur, tetapi semangat yang patah mengeringkan tulang." (Amsal 17:22) baiklah, akhirnya saya mencoba memaksa diri SENYUM. saya memaksa diri saya untuk BERGEMBIRA kebetulan ada sepupu saya yg masih bayi juga. dan tau? efek suka ketawa bareng si adek bayi, ditambah memaksa diri senyum, demam saya hilang tanpa obat dan tanpa istirahat di rumah padahal lumayan tinggi loh.. (saya aja takut) cuma bermodal minum air madu aja. yg nyisa tinggal diare (kan baru aja dateng -___-) dan pusing doang. yaa saya tau semuanya karena kuasa tangan Tuhan, kuasa doa, kuasa keyakinan pada Tuhan yang akan menyembuhkan saya. tapi harus ada usaha dari kita juga lah. usaha saya hari ini yg paling susah adalah tersenyum. tampak sederhana ya? tapi susah. tapi berdampak besar. bergembira untuk hal kecil kayak gini aja dampaknya udah begini, gimana kalo dibiasakan untuk setiap hal? LATIHLAH DIRI UNTUK TERSENYUM LALU BERGEMBIRA DEMI KEHIDUPAN YANG LEBIH MENYENANGKAN :)

. JKA .

[atsukouchan-blog]

12 lessons ! --- [9/12]

BELAJAR CUEK ITU PERLU

cuek. tiap denger kata itu rasanya saya langsung bete. dari kecil saya sering kena wejangan dari orang-orang terdekat saya. "ngapain sih didengerin semua kata orang? bisa dong cuek!" "ga semua harus pake hati. bisa dong lu cuek dikit" dan sejenisnyaa.. ya ya ya, saya emang sensian. saya sadar. dan saya berusaha mengurangi sensinya kok.. ;) ya ya ya, saya tau harus belajar cuek dengan opini-opini orang yg suka lewat di kala hati dan mood sedang tidak siap menerima. ya ya ya, saya tau harus belajar cuek sama orang lain yg sering ga balas kepedulian kita. siapa tau orang tersebut terganggu, kan? ya. saya ngerti teorinya dan saya cuma bisa jawab "iya, ini lagi belajar cuek." jujur sih, awalnya saya tidak setuju dengan judul ini. soalnya menurut saya sih, peduli itu nilai plus banget dalam diri seseorang.. tapi yaa setelah beberapa kasus yg secara tidak langsung menampar saya, saya sangat setuju dengan judul ini. haha! -___- karena tau ga? saat kita tau kapan harus menerima sesuatu dengan "cuek", ga ada lagi tuh yg namanya beban padahal ga ngapa-ngapain. hidup lebih santai, lebih fresh, dan nyaman! tapi yakin dulu momen cuek nya bener yaa.. jangan sampai harusnya dibawa serius malah dicuekin.. coba sekali-kali cuekin komentar orang-orang yg suka ngomentarin kamu dengan semena-mena. bukan berarti kamu tutup mata dengan kelemahan kamu, tapi tepatnya kamu menjaga hati kamu supaya ga terlalu banyak korengnya. :p coba sekali-kali cuekin orang-orang yg sering memberi kesan terganggu dengan perhatian kamu. bukan berarti kamu belajar jadi orang tidak pedulian, tapi kan hidup kamu sendiri ga cuma untuk mereka. emang bisa fokus ngurusin hidup sendiri saat kena serangan "rejected feeling"? pikirin diri sendiri juga dong. tapi bukan berarti jadi individualis! yg penting bahagia. itu yg harus ditekankan dalam diri kita setiap waktu.. yg penting kita produktif dan berguna bagi sekitar yg membutuhkan. yg penting secara keseluruhan diri bisa kita asah semaksimal mungkin. mulailah belajar CUEK di momen yg tepat demi memaksimalkan hidup!

. JKA .

[atsukouchan-blog]

12 lessons ! --- [8/12]

akhirnya! setelah menunggu 2 bulan untuk menstabilkan diri, akhirnya saya berani juga untuk nerusin 12 lessons-nya! haha... yah masa saya nulis tulisan motivasi pas saya sendiri lagi down~ oke deh, selamat baca yaa :D

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PILIH ZONA TIDAK NYAMAN

setiap orang pasti punya zona nyaman. ada yang zona nyamannya kalo udah berada di rumah, atau misalnya bersama teman-teman tertentu, atau contoh aneh kayak saya yg zona nyamannya itu adalah saat dapat menunda semuanya sampai mepet banget sama deadline.. oke. sebenernya saya merasa bukan tipe orang malas, dan jujur emang ga suka sama orang malas.. apalagi yg suka lepas tanggung jawab.. secapek apapun saya, misalkan emang dibutuhkan banget dan selama saya masih bisa berjalan, saya pasti berusaha ngelakuinnya. loh trus nundanya kenapa? apa bukan karena malas? saya sendiri ga tau sih ini tergolong malas apa bukan, tapi yg pasti saya menunda karena belom mepet deadline. saya emang udah terbiasa bekerja dibawah tekanan.. dan anehnya saya nyaman! apapun jenis zona nyamannya, pasti itu merugikan kalo diturutin! contoh kasus saya itu.. saya jadi mengurangi waktu tidur, memaksa otak ekstra kerja di menit-menit terakhir, pola makan berantakan di hari H, mood amburadul, gampang sensi, dan interaksi dengan sesama juga jadi ga baik... coba saya mau keluar dari zona nyaman itu.. mulai tidak menyiksa diri sendiri.. dan mulai mencicil tugas-tugas jauh sebelum deadline.. hidup saya lebih teratur dan sehat.. ga usah ada orang sekitar saya yg jadi "korban" mood saya juga... haha -___- nah, gimana dengan zona nyamanmu? udah berapa hal merugikan yg tercipta gara2 kamu terlalu asik di zona itu? udah berapa orang jadi ikut kena dampaknya? udah berapa banyak kesempatan lewat didepan kamu saat kamu masih leyeh2 disana? mau jadi apa cerita hidupmu kalau kamu ga mau "ga nyaman" demi kehidupanmu sendiri? kita ga ada yg tau umur kita loh.. yakin bisa selalu jawab "ah besok aja" "ah nanti aja"? keluarlah dari zona nyaman! karena hidup yg maksimal itu tidak nyaman~

. JKA .

[adventuresofyesterday]

12 Lessons You Need To Learn Before Settling Down

I have posted this before and I want to post it again. Lately, I think I have been so consumed and worried about the future and everything that is going wrong that I forget to focus on what is going right. All these kids around me are getting married and having babies and living this life that looks so cheeky. But, really, there is a whole different reality in front of me and I think these 12 lessons are ones I need to keep reminding myself of. 

12 Lessons You Need To Learn Before Settling Down

1. You don’t have to get married right now. I know a lot of people who are friends with me on Facebook disagree about this, but no one is forcing you to get married right now. I get it: We were all sold the fantasy of falling in love in college and getting married after you graduate. It’s romance and heteronormativity and a lot of things that Amurrica really loves, and for a lot of people it works. But you’re 22 and not dying of leukemia: the fantasy won’t be any less fantastic if you give yourself three or four years before you — I don’t know — make the biggest decision of your entire life just because it’s what society expects you to do. Instead, you need to make life decisions that match your responsibility, commitment and maturity levels, and if there are still Facebook pictures of you half-naked and passed out drunk on your bathroom floor, you might not be there yet. Would you trust Lindsay Lohan with a marriage?

  2. On this note: LTRs aren’t a prison, and you don’t have to treat them that way. You know what pisses me off?  That rhetoric at Bachelor Parties that the day before you get married is the last day or your life — because life is somehow over after you get married? (Poor you.) I’ll make sure to inform Zsa Zsa Gabor of that, who has been married eight times and keeps going back for more. No one wants to go to prison that many times, except for maybe Martin Sheen.

  3. And, no getting a dog, getting hitched or having babies won’t fix your relationship. I think that Nicole Richie was a bad life example in this respect. If you flash back to 2003, Nicole Richie was a classic “wild child” of the Drew Barrymore variety. In and out of rehab, Richie was just as famous for tabloid photos with Paris Hilton and getting arrested for heroin as she was for being Lionel Richie’s daughter. However, after having a baby in 2008, the hard-partying starlet quickly turned her life around, releasing her own jewelry line and becoming something of a fashion icon. And while it’s commendable that she was able to stop flashing her vagina and become an adult, having a baby wasn’t the single thing that did that. Life is not Juno, and everything won’t fall into place for you after you push a giant screaming flesh ball out of your vagina like the boulder in Indiana Jones. Teen Mom and Courtney Love prove this, conclusively.

4. One person can’t be everything to you, and if you expect that, you are going to be miserable for a very long time. You know what phrase I really hate? The One. I hate it because it pins unrealistic celestial expectations on whatever person you by happenstance happen to be connecting your genitals with. If you live in a village with 20 other people and two are of marrying age, it’s statistically impossible. It doesn’t take skinny Jonah Hill in Moneyball to figure that out. More than that, you shouldn’t just have “one” person in your life. You should have lots of people: friends, family members, co-workers and baristas who act as a community that affirm you every day. In particular, coffee proves that I cannot get every pleasure I need from my partner, and I shouldn’t expect that. I need to be as in love with the rest of my life as I am with them, or my incessant neediness and co-dependency is going to turn the relationship into Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? You can most easily avoid this fate and be happy and fulfilled in your relationship by being happy and fulfilled outside of it.

5. Bridget Jones lied to you: you need to change. I think that the central message of this movie is nice — that you should find someone who loves you just the way you are — but there’s a danger there. As the film suggests, we should find people who can accept our faults but must also find people who love us enough to call us on our bull and help us be better people. Think about your best friends. Are they the kind of people who let you walk all over them? No. They’ll fight you when they think you are being unfair or being a bad friend and demand the best from you. Find a partner who does the same thing. You’ll love them for not putting up with your crap.

6. Love means having to say you’re sorry. Love Story was another terrible influence: You’re going to say you’re sorry all the time. You’ll say sorry when you’re wrong, when you’re right, when you don’t want to say you’re sorry, when you don’t really want to make up or even look at the other person, when you think you can’t, when you just want to go to bed, when all you want is this stupid fight to just be over. You’ll say it on a plane, in the dark, on a train, in a car, up a tree and places humans haven’t even discovered yet — like Jimmy Hoffa’s burial site. In life, you’re going to be wrong at least 50% of the time — and if you’re George Bush a lot more — so just get used to it now.

7. If you can’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of someone else. Too many people get into relationships as a way to fix themselves or avoid fixing themselves by fixing someone else. You don’t have to think about your own emotional wellness when you’re focused on someone else’s. But there are a lot of problems with that, because you will take any problems you already had with you into the relationship; you carry your anger, your baggage and your brokenness. How can you make someone else whole if what you are giving to them is broken?  The only way to do that is to acknowledge that neither of you is perfect or able to be perfect. Instead, all you can do is try and enjoy the broken grace that life offers you and work on being the best that you can be. The only way is to try and do so together.

8. Not everything is about you. Have you ever read those Freud journals? People have issues, lots and lots of issues. Do they seem cold and distant one day or in a weird mood? That’s not always your fault, so don’t assume that it is. I know far too many people who will always blame themselves for anything that’s wrong with their partner or anything that’s wrong in the relationship. And it’s good to be accountable for someone else’s feelings, but you need to be open enough in communication to find out what those are. All you have to do is ask. Remember that in all things — because as Galileo and Bill Nye taught us, you aren’t the center of the universe or even their universe.

9. Sometimes they really are thinking about nothing. Remember that time you asked them what they were thinking about and they said, “Oh, nothing,” and you got upset because you felt like they weren’t being honest — because “Isn’t everyone always thinking about something?” Well, they probably were, but when someone says they aren’t thinking about anything, that means they aren’t thinking about anything interesting or worth mentioning. And you can spend every minute of your life overanalyzing that or picking your entire relationship apart, or you can just accept that they don’t have to tell you everything. Accept the mystery in your relationship. As Benedict Cumberbatch proves, mystery can be sexy.

10. You don’t have to have everything figured out at once.Relationships are tricky and take a lot of figuring out, especially in that crucial stage where you are trying to figure out if you’re even in a relationship. However, in the rush to label everything and skip to the part where you’re all settled and have everything set, you squander a lot of the things that make relationships so exciting. Sure, we talk about the first kiss, but what about the time before the first kiss, when you are waiting to be kissed, just hoping that they will finally just lean into you? So much of a relationship is like that, that sensual waiting, and that’s what makes them both so frustrating and wonderful. I know we all want to skip to the ending — the parts where you host game nights together and do the Sunday crossword in bed — but don’t forget to just enjoy the ride, even if that means you aren’t “Facebook official” yet.

11. Don’t try to date someone who is exactly like you or completely “gets” you. The worst dating advice was told to me a couple years ago, right after I was getting out of my longest relationship, trying to navigate the single world again and not having much luck. The advice giver told me that if I want to get a guy, I should become the guys I want to sleep with and change myself to be more like them. I think that’s silly. One of the great things about life is getting to know people who aren’t like you, who have opinions that excite you, challenge you and piss you off sometimes. They can teach you new things about the world and help you discover a new side of yourself you didn’t even know existed. If you only ever date yourself, you’ll never change. And that’s not a relationship, that’s masturbation — but a lot more expensive and time-consuming.

12. No relationship is going to be perfect, close to perfect or even in the ballpark. And that’s okay. Look at Brad and Jen. Sometimes perfect doesn’t turn out so great. Don’t strive for perfect. Strive for what feels right.