current state of being: distracted, tired, scatterbrained, pleased, need to catch a bus to Boston. new cognitive dissonance found: on homosexuality, "becoming homosexual," and "born this way" counter: "nature vs nurture" relevant media - Confessions of a Mask, Yukio Mishima - Niels and Gang, Humon related: hyper-political correctness previously: sexuality is less about "becoming" and more about "discovering." query: why should those be two different things? anecdotes: sexuality and gender are closely tied in my mind, in that I recognize myself as female, yet disassociate traditionally male activities from maleness. "tomboy," I called myself as a child, and took pride. "androgynous," I admired as ideal. misogynistic tendencies and sexual shame were so built into my society that I don't remember learning them, and unlearning them is an ongoing process. (interestingly, my mother had no such reluctance to tell me about sex or puberty, or indeed any stigma around same-sex nakedness)