How does Lucifer wins an argument with Alastor in the 1950's Cakeverse AU:
Lucifer *insert long and carefully crafted argument with every reason logically explained, calmly and rationally*
Alastor: UGH, WHATEVER! I hope you enjoy the couch tonight.
How does Alastor wins an argument:
Lucifer: That is not how it works! That is not how any of this work! What were you thinking?
Alastor *opens the top of his dress and shows his tits*
Lucifer:...
Lucifer: You are so right, honey, you are always right and never in your life have been wrong, not for a single second. You are so smart and wonderful and perfect.
Alastor: Glad you could see reason.
Lucifer leads a double life: an easy-going family man by day, and a ruthless leader of an organized crime by night with Alastor as his right-hand. Alastor is desperate for a kill, and Lucifer is more than willing to provide one for his love.
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Organization for Transformative Works
After they put Charlie to bed, Alastor was practically skipping over his red heels back to their room. Changing his daily red dress with polka dots to his red shirt and black pants didn’t take more than a few minutes. Tying up all his curly hair on a ponytail and finally putting his red bandana around his neck were the final touches. He was already done when Lucifer stretched the moment of putting another pair of socks on, whistling all the way. He continued on to slowly select his belt between his selection until Alastor was positively fuming, stomping his feet.
"Darling" said with a tight grin, twitching at the side. His voice was deceptively calm. "I am going to choke you on the first belt I can grab if you keep stalling."
"Wow!" Lucifer took a hand to his chest. "Babe, what is with the unwarranted violence? Not all of us can effortlessly look like the whole feast and dessert like you do. Some of us actually have to try, you know?"
"It has been weeks, Lucifer" Alastor's grimace became even bigger if possible as he made his way to the closet and grabbed, indeed, the first belt he saw. Then he spun Lucifer around by the waist, putting it on him. "I have done my research. I did my work. So now we are going to collect my reward or I will have your head instead. I already know it would taste better anyway."
Lucifer chuckled. Alastor was right, too. His own flavor to his tongue meant nothing special, but for Alastor's palate it was a taste like no other. One that demanded to be slurped, bitten into, swallowed, devoured, with an intensity as strong and enticing as the first sweet ever after a long life of steamed unseasoned vegetables.
For that flavor, Lucifer Morningstar had made a second life for himself as Lucifer Magne, a common office worker, the devoted husband of Alice Magne, father of a precious girl of three. For that flavor, Alastor had gone through his own transformation to become the love of his life, Charlie's mom and the most deadliest creature in his entire arsenal.
In the world they lived in, some part of the population was born with an exceptional flavor too, but only some people were able to appreciate it fully as they could. Those were called Cakes, people who entice hunger, and Fork, those born with the hunger. On very rare occasions hybrids came out to be, a delicious flower with jaws waiting to close on their prey fool enough to get too close. Lucifer had thought for a long time that he had been cursed to be the only one, when he met Alastor and suddenly their universes merged into each other. Falling in love with the serial killer that had been hiding in the woods that he was supposed to eliminate was hardly as shocking as when the serial killer in question returned his hunger in equal measure, and eventually, his feelings too. His fate as the organized crime leader in the city and head of the biggest companies his family ran, in a marriage to a beautiful blonde woman purely out of convenience, suddenly added a new addendum that became its own book. Lilith did not care what he did, as long as it didn't disturb matters, and so they were allowed to carry their own little family without any intervention.
In many days, that was enough. Feeding off each other in whatever small ways they could. Alastor attended his own radio show during the morning, Lucifer handling business. Both raising a happy giggling little girl who just saw them as her loving parents.
That night, however, there was no need for the pearl necklace that contrasted with his dark brown skin, the waist tight dresses that accentuated his figure and the heels that were the daily attire for the man. That night, Alice was put to rest and Alastor would come out. Magne would remain in the house where he belonged and Lucifer Morningstar would come out to face another part of his work.
Well, no, that wasn't entirely correct. Lucifer could have handled the issue already with a few calls and none would be the wisest. But Alastor had been the one gunning for his opportunity and, truly, how could he refuse his loving wife-husband when he could see the maniacal twitch of his smile wanting to pop out? He looked just so beautiful right before a murder, almost drooling in anticipation, his eyes sparkling with a new type of life. It made Lucifer want to do other things with him, but he had already made Alastor wait enough and it was best to reserve their energy to fight for later.
"Besides" continued Alastor, fixing up the neck of his shirt, "you could put a literal bag of trash and would still look better than any other man. So stop talking nonsense and let us go."
After three years he should be used by now, but somehow still caught him off guard when Alastor would just say stuff like that. Not even intending them to be compliments, but as mere objective facts. Lucifer cleared his throat as Alastor finished with him, closing the last button up to his neck. Then he gave him a kiss on the forehead and stayed there, breathing deeply with his nose on Lucifer's hair. The hands holding the side of his face squeezed him, like a lemon whose juice he still wanted to taste, before he managed to pry himself away.
"Let's go" insisted, going to grab his favorite hunting knife out of the bed.
He put the sheath on his back pocket as Lucifer grabbed his gun, checking it had a full run ready to go. Putting it on the interior pocket of his jacket, Lucifer gave a silent nod to Alastor. Now they were ready. Cherri, their usual driver, was already lounging on their couch while reading a magazine. For once, Lucifer was going to drive them himself with their own car.
"Charlie is sleeping now" said Alastor, grabbing his own jacket from the closet near the door. In a hurry or not, he couldn't leave without fulfilling his duties as a parent. "If she wakes up asking for us, tell her we have to go to a party for grown ups and entertain her until she is back in bed. If she wakes up hungry, there is fresh fruit in the kitchen. If she wants to drink, warm some milk for her in the kitchen and she will go down in a few minutes. No sugar or she will stay up for hours. Any questions?"
"None at all, sir" Cherri popped the gum in her mouth and saluted them. "I will take care of everything here, don't worry."
"If anything happens to her, you are our next dinner" finalized Alastor, opening the door to get out.
"He is joking" said Lucifer with a chuckle, even though he knew he wasn't.
Cherri shrugged, not caring one way or another. She just wished them a good party as Lucifer followed him. Alastor was standing in front of their front yard as he took in the fresh air. There were no clouds at all and the moon was shining down in the red frame of his glasses.
"Oh, hey, Lucifer" greeted a voice.
Lucifer cursed mentally as he directed a smile to Steve Smith, over the fence. The very definition of an average harmless guy. Everything they weren't.
"Hey" said Lucifer, pocketting his hands. "How are you doing, Steve?"
"Just letting the dog do his thing and then inside" Steve lifted a leash on his hand for him to see and then smiled at Alastor, tilting his head. "Lovely night, huh, good fellow?"
"That is Alastor" Lucifer came up to his husband, rubbing his shoulder and squeezing it once as a warning. Alastor did not like Steve on the best of days. Too insipid for his taste. Now he had less of a reason to tolerate him. "He is the brother of Alice who is coming to visit us. Alice is just resting for the night, while we are going out to take some drinks. Just gonna break a few cold ones between us guys. Right, Alastor?"
"Indeed" Alastor chuckled. Lucifer should have known that was bad news when Alastor put a hand on his shoulder, bending to be closer. Only when Alastor grabbed his chin was he starting to get an idea. "Just us guys, with no one else in the middle to interrupt us. What a blessing, huh?"
Before Lucifer could even think he should probably stop him, Alastor lifted him up to meet his mouth. It had been at least a couple of hours since he last had Alastor against his tongue. There was no surprise then that he opened up so willingly at the tongue licking his teeth. He was a literal dog in the presence of his favorite treat and no one to stop him from indulging in it. When Alastor subtly invited him to come join him inside his own mouth, Lucifer had no issue accepting. That glorious, perfect flavor that felt like it was made only for him, to cater to every portion of his brain destined for pleasure, effectively shut down any other thought that wasn't he needed more of it.
But of course, as soon he lifted his hand to keep Alastor in place, his husband was already pulling back. Tracking every portion of Lucifer's saliva that he could gather on his lips to lick it up. A satisfied smile that turned mischievous as he straightened up, moving to their car waiting already on the sideway.
Leaving Lucifer to face the silent, shocked expression of their neighbor, still looking over the fence. Fucking dick.
"They are italian" said Lucifer with a little shrug. "You know how affectionate those folks are. Different cultures and all, you know?"
"Oh!" Steve perked up. "I know what you mean! I have seen the guys down at that Italian restaurant next to the cinema. The best pasta in all of the city, Luci."
"Yeah, totally" Lucifer moved to their car and maneuvered to try to get his key where it was supposed to go. Aware that Alastor was just smiling at him from the top of the hood. "Welp, those drinks aren't going to drink themselves! Have a good night, Steve!"
"You too!"
Lucifer finally managed to open up the door and sit, just as Alastor was joining him on the other side. He gripped the steering wheel and sighed, closing his eyes.
"Did you really have to" finally said.
"If only someone had taken me to eat earlier, I wouldn't have suddenly gotten so hungry" Alastor expressed as matter of factly. "But I guess that wasn't in the stars for tonight. Pity."
"Okay, you get one point" Lucifer started the engine. "I am still making you pay for that one."
The eyes of Alastor crinkled with his smile.
"I am counting on that, dear."
--
In theory, there was no reason for any of them to bother with this guy. He wasn't a crime lord wanting to take up territory that wasn't his. He wasn't a cop that was sticking his nose where he shouldn't be, despite all the warnings. He didn't know about either of their existence and had not committed any direct offense against them that warranted retribution. And yet, they still followed him enough to know his routine. They still had Husk luring him into his car and bringing him to the abandoned house in the woods. Once upon a time, that place had been the hiding place for Alastor to carry his own huntings.
As he was driving closer, Lucifer felt a little nostalgic. That night they were just hunters who saw each other as their prey. The only plan was to get rid of the other, up until Lucifer got close enough to smell the blood of Alastor, to see his sharp green eyes glaring at him in the dark like the blade before striking, and it was right there that he knew he was never going to have a complete life without that man on it. It still took some more physical convincing. Alastor just saw a rare delight he intended to finish right there, until Lucifer managed to convince him he could have more, so much more he ever dream of, no hiding either, if he went with him instead as his new wife.
Lucifer didn't know if Alastor would be thinking about that night too. But he liked to believe that he did. When they started walking over the grass the rest of the way and Alastor grabbed his hand, he didn't seem as impatient anymore, calmly walking at his side. They could have been just two lovers taking a stroll under the moonlight, where no one else could judge them. Not that they needed to worry about that really. Not in his city. They were untouchable to do as they pleased.
That sometimes included doing a little bit of clean up. Just for fun, of course. Take out the actual dangerous people that the police didn't bother with, because they technically haven't broken any law just yet. The hands were tied up. They were not.
As they approached the entrance to the abandoned house, Lucifer squeezed Alastor's hand. His husband smiled at him and bent slightly to kiss his palm.
"Ready, my love?" the voice of Alastor came out a gentle whisper.
"As ready as you are."
They let go of each other as they come inside.
--
This man, technically speaking, did not break any laws. He was a divorced father of two kids that Alastor saw in the park as he was looking over Charlie. He started to actually pay attention to the man when he saw some purple marks that the children's clothes didn't hide entirely. He heard the rest of the story while talking with the other mothers. The mother had run off with a lover, leaving the rest of the family behind, making the poor guy into such a tragic victim everyone cooed over. Only Alastor didn't take the charade seriously, not for one minute.
Finding out that mother never visited her parents in another state was easy. Seeing the medical reports of all the injuries she endured was just a few pennies exchanged. Finding her actual body near the woods where the man had been seen the last night anyone knew about her was not easy, or pleasant, but it had to be done. The marks on her neck were still visible after everything, her mouth open for a breath she was never going to take.
Husk, taking a deep breath around his cigarette, greeting them on his way out as they came inside. The model father was sitting on a chair, a little beaten already, bound, muted and blind. They already know he had a sister who could take care of the children. That was the final reason for him to be there.
Lucifer casually shoots his feet first, to get a whiff of his blood. It smells just like blood and panic. A normal average guy who never thought would be food for anyone. Nothing like them. Alastor frowned at him, but Lucifer shrugged it off as he went to untie his hands and push him forward, towards the floor.
The hands of the man immediately go to take out the fabric obscuring his vision, then pull out the sock in his mouth, but can't do much else before Alastor kicks his head to the side.
"Very tough man, aren't you?" The smile of Alastor is almost impossibly long, showing every single tooth as drool started to fall on his chin. Now he is the dog and this is his treat.
Lucifer sits on a couch against the wall to observe. Alastor had this under control. His hunting knife comes fast as he berates the man, calling him small, pathetic, an embarrassment that only felt worth something when stepping on someone even smaller who couldn't defend by themselves. What a fucking joke of a man. The man tries to fight back, but it's useless, of course.
The first limbs he loses are three fingers, sliced perfectly in the air. Alastor grabbed one and crunched it between his teeth in front of the man, giggling from the center of his chest. Thanks to their hybrid nature, they both can digest almost anything, so Alastor does not bother to spit the bones out. He makes sure that the man can notice that too, so the message is clear: nothing will be wasted of him. Like the best hunters, they will get some use out of every part of his body. Not out of respect, as if he were an animal, but so he would be utterly, miserably, completely, powerless until the very end. When the lights were out behind his eyes and he couldn't care about what happened to his body, they would continue to take away his power by devouring it further. Deny him the peaceful goodbye that he had denied his wife already. Make him as small and insignificant as the side of a better dish.
Everything was set up already. Alastor made sure of it, using all the resources Lucifer put at his disposition. Everyone will think he just ran away too. No one would come asking for him. So he could scream all he wanted and claw at the floor, kick at the air as much he wanted to, it wouldn't change anything. Both his children were going to get more than generous checks from the insurance company that the Morningstars controlled.
As his shrieks start to die down, so do his movements. A weak hand still tries to pat away Alastor's head as he digs in directly into his open abdomen, taking bites of whatever he can find there, until that falls too. The sound of his final sigh is almost completely drowned out by the moans of pleasure of Alastor, crawling on his four on top of his body.
Lucifer took out his belt and kneeled just behind his husband. Alastor arched his back, not stopping his chewing even as Lucifer calmly opened up his pants and started pulling them down. Merely another moan from a mouth full was the response as Lucifer thrust inside, between the already wet folds that were waiting for him. Lucifer stayed still for a few seconds, enjoying the way Alastor's body constricted around him, even before he started moving.
That cunt had been the absolute best investment he had ever made in his life. Lucifer was never going to stop being grateful because Alastor agreed to it to happen, indifferent about whatever genitalia was between his legs anyway. Lucifer held onto that thin waist, the smell of blood and raw flesh eclipsed entirely with the smell coming off Alastor himself. His arousal tickling Lucifer's nose had him going faster, the wet sounds of their union joining the ones of Alastor enjoying his meal.
At that point what that man had done mattered none. It didn't matter that he was ever a person at all. He was merely another piece of food, another prey that had fallen to the bigger predators in the room. Lucifer didn't mind when his hand had to land on the poddle of blood, allowing him to nuzzle the back of Alastor as he bends over further to reach more.
Eventually, the abdomen wasn't enough and Alastor reached inside the body to take out more, whatever he could, and bring it over to his mouth to devour it. It could have been lungs, a piece of heart or something else entirely. The enjoyment of Alastor made no difference as he enthusiastically chewed on the red treasure he found. Lucifer slipped his fingers on the point where his cock disappeared to find the small hard nub that was the center of Alastor's pleasure. As he started to rub it in circles, more mewling graced Lucifer's ears and that only encouraged him further.
The tension on his body was too much to bear. He was slapping their bodies together, frenetic. The mouth of Alastor hung open with chunks of meat and blood dripping to his victim below, panting and whimpering. He reached his climax first, pushing his head back and pushing further against Lucifer.
Following him became as easy as letting gravity work and he groaned deeply, digging his nails in over the bones of his waist and wishing, wanting, that his imprint could stay there forever. Another mark for Alastor to carry on as a memento, adding to all the smaller and bigger scars that covered his perfect, delectable, body.
He gave himself a moment to regain his breath. Then he moved out of the way and spread open Alastor's thigh, sticking his tongue in to pick up not only his essence but Alastor's too. Nothing that he had ever eaten before or could eat in the future could begin to compare. That was the first reason why he chased down, why he had to have him. He thought that had to be falling in love because there were no other words to describe it, none that he could conceive.
Someday he was going to be just like their victim, laying down so Alastor could have his fill. But for now, he could still taste him and feel every little spams on his tongue, smell him until nothing else existed in his world.
Alastor sighed finally and let himself fall next to his meal, staring at the ceiling. He looked like an absolute madman stopping after a rampage. He looked beautiful in the way that wolves are, bears are, every beast and danger of nature against which humanity had very little defense for. Something feral and inevitable that came not with a question of if, but when.
"Had enough, babe?" Lucifer climbed on top of him and licked the blood off his chin. Alastor directed his head to give him a proper kiss, a soft lazy one and then nuzzle his nose against him. Lucifer loved the violent nature of his husband, but he had come to adore this soft side too, one that only he and their little family ever got to see. "Love you" whispered, kissing his tainted cheek.
"Love you too" Alastor sighed, brushing the hair at the back of his head gently as he closed his eyes. "Give me five minutes and we can start cutting to take him home."
"Take all you need, babe" Lucifer moved to lay on his other side.
A little rest sounded perfect for him too. When Alastor went to grab his hand over a pool of blood, Lucifer squeezed back.
Another AU idea that I may or may not do anything with, but I am keeping it with myself anyway just in case.
It's 1950.
Alastor gets dressed up like a 50's housewife, married to a mafia lord Lucifer that controls the city, who helps him cover up for their multiple murders while they raise together Charlie. Most of the time, Alastor is fine, but he sometimes has violent impulses that Lucifer has to control by being violent back to him. Like, slapping, beatings, all done for the sake of calm him down (and if it gets them hot and bothered in the process then so what).
Lucifer actually has a double life: in one hand he is the mafia lord with his own mansion, where he is married to Lilith, that can do whatever she wants anyway, just for the sake of keeping the peace between their families, meanwhile he is also the perfect husband and father that goes to home after a hard day at work. Alastor accepted this arrangement as long he knows that Lucifer is only his and won't ever share a room with Lilith.
He is extremely possessive and jealous, but this works for him because if it wasn't because of Lucifer he would be in prison right now.
Lucifer found him when he was trying to hide a body in the woods and they fall in love right there. The idea was to find the killer that had been eliminating people in town and eliminate them, but quickly changed the idea after capturing him. Lucifer proposes that Alastor pretends to be his wife because it will be easier to keep him safe that way. Nobody that knows his true identity will ever put a single finger on Alastor, giving him basically free reign to do as he plases.
Charlie is a little kid who is completely ignorant of everything. To her, Alastor is just his mom, Luci is just his dad and Lilith is her other mom that she spends some weekends with and social events where mom Alastor can't go to for some reason. Sure she has two houses to go to and two rooms, but his true home is the smaller house with mom Alastor. As far she is concerned, both of her parents are good people who love her very much.