#2.1.2025

[louisupdates]

Louis Tomlinson’s “For Every Question Why: Remastered Edition” is the second most watched show in 2024 on the VEEPS platform [x]

Louis was the first solo male artist ever to perform at the Autódromo Hermanos Rodríguez in Mexico City.

A portion of the proceeds from the livestream were donated to the charity organization War Child, to benefit children affected from wartime conflicts around the world.

[one-poem-a-day]

forbidden language

F. U. C. K.

Four letters, just four,

but they have earned distaste.

God knows I know of it,

with all its euphemisms and words relating to it like f-bomb and f-word,

but God also knows there are plenty worse things in the world

that can go through with polite and legal language,

and still we go through life

the world revolving around us and constantly spinning at unfathomable speeds throughout the universe,

and people choose to hurt,

and hurt,

and hurt again,

and i just don't understand it.

i get angry. I guess I do understand where it comes from,

the fear of us, the rage at us, how they think we're encroaching on their space as we ask for just enough,

enough to have enough space of our own,

an equal amount or maybe less,

and it's been better than it has been in the past but they still seethe with what they think is injustice.

and i get angry.

and i get angry because we turn on each other and carve open our wounds from inside out,

we constantly bleed and feed our marrow so we don't run dry,

we tell others that they should be safe as they are but when we tell them that same thing about ourselves,

that we deserve that too, that safety and strength,

we are scorned.

i want to educate but i feel too dumb,

i've read little and i have other responsibilities that are falling apart at my fingertips,

burning buildings that set bridges ablaze and 

simple mistakes, simple mistakes,

and the outcome is never something as simple,

and i want to be free.

i want to save people but i don't know how,

i want to fight but i don't have the strength,

i want to be brave but i'm too cowardly to do so,

i want to be honest but it isn't safe.

so i'll bite my tongue and cower in the shadows while the braver ones do all the work,

and i'll cuss and curse at those i blame in the safety of my mind,

and i'll remember my fears and lean my head against the wall in the shower as my tears mix with the trailing water,

and i'll be angry at the vengeance that i'm too scared to take.

[sixtydaychips]

[one-poem-a-day]

sometimes i forget

how much i can hate.

I forget the fear that digs itself into my skin and burrows through my chest and coils around my head,

the anger that tugs at the tendons of my fingers and the anxiety that presses on my heart.

but then i remember, and i question myself, and i wonder why.

and i don't know.

I don't know.

Is it really my fault?

Is it my doing, that I cause the reason of my hate and fear and anger to act?

I don't do anything, that's the problem, I run from my responsibilities,

and then the responsibilities follow.

i don't know if it's my fault. maybe it is.

but then i remember to hate again.

I was thirteen.

I was a child and am a child still,

that same one that clenched my fingers so hard that my nails dug into my skin and left themselves there,

the same child that stared at the carpet floor and didn't believe it–

the child that was yelled at day after day until the anger broke through enough to land a hot red mark on my cheek that burned with rushing blood,

and a foot kicking at my leg as I fall to the floor,

and a voice telling me to forget it ever happened through tears that only came because I told someone about what happened.

and i can't help but look at the one who did that,

because that person looks back at me every day,

giving me dinner with a smile and fruit on a plate,

and to keep hating would betray me.

so i will love and forget to hate again,

because it will tear me apart to not find an escape–

and i know that escape will never come.

i wish i could hate forever.

[riammm]

[loverboy-daily-doodles-25]

STARTING MONTH 2 STRONG!!! sponsored by schubert today B)

[prosy-days]

January 2, 2025 - Day 197

I'm glad that the fire alarm for my building wasn't serious this morning and that I was able to get out of the wind while waiting.

[milly-the-little-cat]