#2.6.2020

[puregrief]

"نفسي أهرب من نفسي، بكره نفسي فشخ وبكره صوري وبكره الإنستا بتاعي وبكره تخيلي عن ازاي الناس شايفاني أو ازاي هيشوفوني لو عملت أي حاجة، وبكره كوني أنا"

٢/يونيو/٢٠١٩

[godsnameisjoy]

Attention Soaked

Date: 2 June 2020

Duration: 1 hour at 10:26 pm

Depth: This note was written soon after the session-

‘This was a somewhat different session than all the others so far. The shakings have been on for a while. This session’s shakings were different from all the others so far.

Today, I genuinely felt as if I was able to withstand the humongous energy that the kundalini is proving itself to be. Today’s shakings began much later than usual in the session. Also, they never really became violent. I wasn’t able to remain poised through the sessions that had shakings, up until tonight.

Right towards the end of this session, I felt cemented to the meditation technique. My attention felt cemented to the Hong Sau. As if I wouldn’t be able to move it away even if I tried. In fact, while trying to exhale a particular way in order to close the session, I ended up inviting another shake. And this came out of an inability to get the attention off the Hong Sau.’

[prosy-days]

June 2, 2020 - Day 348

Definitely past time to move these and the audiobooks by black authors on my phone to the top of my to read list.

Black Lives Matter.

[lettersfromthejourneyy]

One Year

It’s amazing what a year can do. A year ago, I was sleeping on the floor in an apartment in Madison, WI. Battling depression, anxiety, heartbreak, and low self-worth. One year later, I’m living and pursuing my dream career as a professional athlete.

I’m living in Alexandria, Romania now. And honestly, I’m performing pretty darn well.

I have been here a few weeks. Things are different here. Some ways things are better others are more difficult.

I’m figuring this thing out slowly, but surely. I still have moments that are sad. Moments and days that I struggle with negative thoughts, but I’m proud to say that I’m stay here. Still growing. Still getting stronger.

So here’s to the minutes, that turn to hours, hours that turn to days. And days that can suddenly turn to ONE year.

Progress over Perfection. Still here. Stronger