I feel oddly at ease at the moment.
It’s been one hell of a week, with me still being sick, trying to get my energy back, doing some spiritual stuff, on top of the fact that it was midterm week for me with school. It’s been crazy, but... here I am, just feeling... peaceful. I was thinking earlier, and I thought about how life can and does get crazy, but if we don’t fight it, and let it carry us, then we will get to where we need to be. I’ve noticed that my life does follow this pattern; life is smooth for a bit, and then it gets crazy, like really crazy, new experiences, wrenches in the wheel, but then it settles and for a small amount of time, everything Flows smoothly, and I’m left in peace. And god, I love those small moments.
In other news, tonight I went and played in another mtg tournament. I got my ass severely kicked, but surprisingly, it didn’t really get to me. I was able to be kind of mindful about my frustration, which is a big deal. Even though I lost quite a bit, I was still having a good time. But the real highlight was the last guy that I played.
He was a little bit (more than a little bit) energetic, almost hyperactive. But he was nice and fun, and we had some good convos and a good time. We realized that if I let him win that he’d get 2 prize packs, while if I won we’d both only get one. So I agreed. I mean I was already getting one anyways, and it’s just a game, so why not. I told him that in return he should, idk, include me in his prayers or something. He told me that he’s actually an Atheist, and that he doesn’t believe in God. Well... he stopped. He said that he actually pays homage to Morrígan, the Irish God of War, also known as “The Phantom Queen.”
That got my attention, actually. I asked if he could elaborate a little bit. He said that he doesn’t necessarily think that she exists, but he thinks that she is cool and so he pays homage to her, because why not. I asked if he knew about the Law of Attraction, and he shook his head. I gave him the watered-down version, and told him that even though he doesn’t necessarily believe in her, I would absolutely love it if he’d include me when he pays homage, both for the LOA and also in reference to her. My beliefs in deities are... interesting, but I wouldn’t mind it at all. I’m always down for some good karma, and besides, I’m curious.
I turn 22 today. So weird, typing and reading that. I don’t feel 22. I feel... much, much older, but also, younger at the same time. It’s one of those things where I read it and my brain just can’t process it; there’s nothing but static. But one thing is for certain, that I’m glad that I’ve stuck around. I’m glad that I exist, and I’m grateful.
That’s it for now. Hope everyone has a good day today.
