2000s/2010s grid as textposts (co-authored by my 13y old sister who has Bark on her phone so she can only interact with the fandom via Pinterest and a Kindle fire), pt1
I love reading your takes & thoughts on topics! Rank or rate (which one is easier ig) these ship of the 2000-10s I completely understand if you ignore this ask because this is insanely long feel free to delete this ask
Webbonso
Sebmark/Martian
Sebson
vettonso
buttonso
butter/markson
princess cake
Brocedes
slagclaren/britlaren
sewis
simi
Ferwis
Kimi/Mark (this is a crack ship I had bc of an edit mentioning kimi & mark as Oscar’s parents)
lol add some pairing to the list if I missed something
THANK YOU I LOVE YAPPING AT PEOPLE ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Ok sorry this has taken A While to put together... putting everything under a cut + Nico/Seb and Michael/Nico that u didn't ask for but Compel Me :3
Seb/Mark: amazing showstopping spectacular. Ship of all time. Their teammate years were so rancid and they both alternated between looking like a wet cat/kicked dog respectively, and talking shit about each other all the time. The way they left such an indelible mark on each other's paths. And the way all that animosity straight up melted, like, 3 months after Mark retired... that's almost as compelling as the animosity to me. What the fuck was this. What was THIS.
Seb/Jenson: doesn't especially compel me, mostly down to Jenson being, like, remarkably well-adjusted for a professional athlete frankly. But they have matching whore energy and some of their podiums together were straight up softcore porn + some really fun banter. They were cute. I wouldn't go digging for sebson content but I happily partake in it when it comes my way.
Seb/Fernando: speaking of matching whore energy! I dig it. They were never each other's biggest rival but they had a constant low-level workplace antagonism sorta vibe that I enjoy immensely and also they're basically Mark's sister wives. We should talk more about the timing of Seb's move to Ferrari and how he pretty much stole the seat from under Nando who was not expecting it and had to scramble when the deal went public. That's very juicy to me :3
Jenson/Fernando: I never considered it before... they occupy separate spheres of my brain. However. I dig it... I can see them slutting it up at some shady Briatore party circa 2005.
Mark/Jenson: this one leaves me a bit cold. I like both buuut together they don't compel me especially / don't have much going on that I can point at and go, yeah, that makes me a bit unhinged. However they really bring a great combined DILFy energy to the paddock these days which is always needed
Jenson/Nico: there's no beating the psychosexual implications of nicknaming a man Britney hit me baby etc when you have made it known that you want to fuck Britney Spears. I'm compelled by, like, the general vibe of their dynamic over the years where Nico was perpetually bothered by something while Jenson breezed through life perpetually unbothered + the fact that they have such completely opposite personalities. IDK. There Is something there. I think Jenson's whole "was always at the scene of the crime but didn't partake" energy + the fact that he was also a Teammate Who Managed to Outscore Lewis Hamilton albeit in vastly different circumstances... it does add spice. I dig it
Lewis/Nico: licherally liferuining. Baby's first RPF ship I read fic for! One day they WILL make a biopic and I will be buying tickets first in line. I love the inherent tragedy of it all. The teenage friendship class divide goes hard. Big fan of how Nico was probably hoping that retiring would also help patch things up but actually closed the door on any possibility of reconciliation. I am still thinking about the Hungary wink 3 weeks on.
Jenson/Lewis: Rotating it in my mind... I'm always thinking about Jenson's quote that when Lewis started blowing up he was like "wdym EYE am no longer the hottest British racing driver property??" I also think their time as teammates was a very formative experience for Lewis whereas Jenson was more IDGAF — this guy came into his team! got all the godwill! beat him!! <- lots of career lessons to be learned for Old Testament Bald Lewis about how to go on during a slump. I also bet their parties were lots of fun. That said, I get the vibe that Jenson never truly grasped (doesn't care for) the scope of Lewis's competitive drive, and that's something I'd be interested in exploring if I was smashing them like dolls. Obligatory: favourite bit of Jenson's book re: Lewis + least favourite bit, which I think also adds another layer to their relationship in those days frankly.
Seb/Lewis: Conflicted about this one actually! I like their dynamic as it is — I think they have a lot of respect for each other both as racing drivers and as people and definitely some kind of friendship on a personal level BUT I also think that fundamentally the current status of their relationship is built on Lewis beating Seb over and over, and I think sometimes the fandom overlooks that. It's definitely something that colours their interactions, especially in the last few years of Seb's career. I feel like their relationship would look different if Seb had won in 2018 — and yes the Merc was goated and Ferrari were occasionally a clown show but there was a fair share of driver's mistakes that chipped away at Seb's championship hopes the couple of years he got closest. I can reasonably see a universe where Seb wins in 2018, and that's an universe where their relationship is fundamentally different, and I think a part of the fandom misses that element of their dynamic. Anyway... I do dig sewis but in general, the average fandom vibe is a bit too fluffy and toothless for my tastes... they're two former criminals we could do more!
Seb/Kimi: I want what they have but also I struggle to see Kimi as anything except really extremely heterosexual so my ship enjoyment is limited... however. I appreciate a self assured Finn who's so used to baring his ass in the sauna and womaninizing around who thinks nothing of holding his male friend's hand on a podium for the whole world to see. They're quite cute to me.
Fernando/Lewis: Thinking of that quote where Lewis said he'd cast Fernando as Prost in the Senna biopic of his life. These days they're like Reformed Criminal x Geriatric Criminal but their 00s dynamic compels me a lot (rookie teammate vs reigning champion!) and I choose to believe baby Lewis was exposed to whorish twink Nando and it was formative for him.
Kimi/Mark. LMAO. They're just Seb's sister wives to me... sorry not many thoughts.
****
ships that anon missed but I want to yap about:
Michael/Nico: the lore compels me enormously. What if you were a prettyboy from Monaco who tried so hard to Be German when you started F1 and you were supposed to be the German face of the big Mercedes launch except JB said bye I'm outta here and they suddenly lured THE Michael Schumacher out of retirement and you haven't even won a race. and he makes it clear often and abundantly that he vastly prefers the other German twink who's actually winning races and championships, to you. and he talks about you to your race engineer like you're not there. shows off his abs to extert dominance and lowkey gives u a sexuality crisis. whatever the fuck this was. like. and in all this! Nico was beating Michael. often and consistently [and at the time everybody thought it was just Michael being washed rather than Nico holding his own & it wasn't until Lewis came around and Nico consistently gave him trouble that he got more credit]. Anyway EYE think Michael fucking a bit with Nico and negging him a little bit is sexy. We should use that more.
related... Seb/Nico.... this ship exists obviously in the shadow of the psychosexual drama show that was Michael BUT I am also thinking about when Nico retired and iirc his message to Seb was something like "now go win that championship in red!" and their occasional funny presser moments. also this pic. and this bitchfest. IDK, they compel me a lot! I feel like their fandom presence mostly exists in the shadow of Lewis and I get that but they have a lot going on. to me.
