The way Phil was totally speaking from his own experience here… 🥹
At 24, his life did really just.. take off. Dan and Phil officially moved in together. They started the Super Amazing Project, started working with the BBC. He even won a Guinness World Record!
I mentioned this on twt and seems like many people didn’t know about this piece of 2011 lore? So I think I’d expand a bit here, under the cut if you’re interested.
Phil tweeted about the record on that day!
And it even made it to his Wikipedia page lol
Cadbury sponsored a bunch of random youtubers to beat random world records. And apparently a few of them did! Dan made a video (now deleted) about it which @ahappydnp found it for us HERE. 💕💕
It’s the day that would forever be remembered as the day of square hair for both dan and phil.
August 10, 2011: Phil uploaded "Living with Robert Pattinson" where, among other things, he tells us that Dan has moved in with him! Which means that Dan and Phil have officially been living together for 10 years now IM NOT CRYING YOU ARE
summary: “First off, Mum, seeing as Sarah is my ex-girlfriend, similarity to her isn’t exactly a selling point. Second of all, I am seeing someone, so I’ll have to turn down the awkward blind wedding date.” aka Shit. I just told my mom I'm in a relationship and I haven't even told her I'm bisexual. Now what?
words: 3000
genre: fluff, established relationship, coming out
time: may 2011ish
series: My Youth Is Yours part: 2
[[ao3]]
This semester is definitely going to be the death of me. All that is left is this 5,000 word paper. Just one dumb term paper is the only thing standing between me and the sweet freedom of being done with my first year of uni.
I’m lounging on Phil’s bed, surrounded by textbooks and half-heartedly trying to write a few paragraphs. Phil’s apartment was empty when I got here this afternoon, so I’m monopolizing the entire bed as fruitless, petty revenge for Phil not being here to distract me. I’m not quite sure where Phil is at the moment, but I hope he has the foresight to stop at the grocery store on his way home. The refrigerator currently contains ketchup, stale bread, and a questionable tub of yogurt – not exactly dinner ingredients.
Not that I’ve been paying too much attention to work anyway, but I’m completely distracted from ‘writing’ when my phone rings from the depths of the covers. When I manage to dig my phone out of the blankets, I answer without looking. I assume it’s Phil, hopefully calling about dinner (no one else really calls me, tbh).
“Hello?”
“Hello sweetheart, how are you today?”
How wrong I was. I love my mother. Dearly. But if I’d noticed the caller id, I probably would have let it go to voicemail. I’d hate to further distract myself from tumblr writing.
“Hi, mum. I’m doing well. I’ve been working on my term paper all day.” Sort of, whatever.
“I’m so proud of how hard you’re working, Daniel.” I grimace, and I’m not sure if it’s because she used my full name or because she’s seriously misguided in her pride.
A few seconds of silence pass before Mum continues. “Your cousin Cassidy is getting married – your invitation came in the post with ours today.”
“Oh, that’s nice. I’ve always liked Adam.”
“The wedding is June 15th. You’re done with your semester before then, right?
“Yeah, the semester is over June 4th. I can make it. Will you RSVP for me?”
“No problem, dear. I’m so glad you can come. If you haven’t already made plans, I was thinking you could come home a bit early and we can do something for your birthday.”
Ugh. As much as I love Cassidy and want to be there for her wedding, I was hoping to spend my birthday with Phil this year. We haven’t made actual plans yet, but he’s been hinting at a restaurant he wants to take me to.
“Er… yeah, maybe. I’m not sure if I’m doing anything on my birthday, I’ll have to let you know.” I say noncommittally.
“Well, if it makes any difference, Cassidy said you could bring a date. If you’re seeing someone, you could bring them home with you for your birthday as well… Although, if you’re not seeing anyone, my friend Jodie has a daughter that is starting at Manchester in the fall I think you’d get on with well. She reminds me a lot of Sarah.”
“First off, Mum, seeing as Sarah is my ex-girlfriend, similarity to her isn’t exactly a selling point. Second of all, I am seeing someone, so I’ll have to turn down the awkward blind wedding date.”
I immediately blanch as I realize I just confessed to being decidedly not single.
My mum, however, did not miss the confession. “That’s great, honey. I’m glad to hear that! How long have you been dating? Does she study law too? Do you think you’ll bring her to the wedding?”
Shit shit shit. Fuck this is not how I thought this conversation was going to go.
I hesitate for a moment, trying to think of the best way to end this conversation as quickly and with as little information as possible. When I finally respond, I chose my words carefully and actively avoid using any pronouns.
“Calm down, Mum. We’ve been dating for several months.” Technically 20 months qualifies as ‘several months’… “I’m not sure about the wedding or my birthday yet. I’m not sure if it’s the best idea. We’ll have to talk it over.”
“Several months!? I can’t believe you’ve kept this a secret for that long, Daniel. I hope you decided to bring her – I’m sure everyone would love to meet her, especially since you’ve been dating for a while now.”
“Yeah, uh… Like I said, we’ll see, Mum. I’ve got to go, I’m in the middle of my term paper and I need to finish this section before I lose my train of thought,” I invent wildly, desperate to end the call.
“Oh sorry dear, I didn’t mean to interrupt your studying. Don’t think you are off the hook though, I expect more details about this later.”
“Okay, sure Mum, bye.” I smash the end call button before my mother has a chance to respond. With a sigh of frustration, I flop onto my back and glare at the ceiling, considering my options.
Pretend to break up with my ‘girlfriend’ in the next month so I can avoid bringing ‘her’ to the wedding.
Not exactly foolproof. Mum will still ask a million questions about our relationship (and it’s timely demise) that I’ll either have to evade or lie about. Not to mention, I’ll still have to switch all of the pronouns.
Find a girl willing to pretend to be my girlfriend for the weekend.
Also has its complications. For starters, I definitely do not have any female friends close enough to ask that kind of favor of. Not to mention, we’d have to make up a complete back-story and risk getting caught in a web of lies. And what if I had to kiss her or something? I don’t want to kiss anyone that isn’t Phil.
Come out.
Terrifying.
The more I think about it, though, the more option three is the only option that makes sense. Me and Phil are only getting more serious – I’m planning to move in with him when the semester is over for god’s sake – and the truth is going to have to come out sooner or later. If I go along with this girlfriend ruse now, I’ll end up having to confess that I lied or lie more later on to cover up this lie.
Resolutely, I shove my law books aside (no way I am going to be able to concentrate on it now, let’s be real) and move to the living room. As I fiddle with my phone, I consider texting Phil to ask when he’s coming home but I figure I’ll just wait. Before I call my mum back, I need to talk to Phil. I have no idea how to do this.
I’m not sure how long I’ve been sitting on the sofa, staring at the wall with thoughts rushing around my head when I finally hear the click of the door being unlocked. Phil barely has the deadbolt turned before I’m standing in front of the door. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I gratefully notice that he is holding several Tesco bags, but my appetite has completely vanished.
“Thank god you’re home, we need to talk.”
Phil’s eyes widen and he looks alarmed. “Why? What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
“Honestly? I’m kind of panicking.”
“Okay, take a seat and let me put the milk away. Then we can talk.”
I shuffle over to his table, immediately burying my head in my hands. The chair next to me screeches as Phil pulls it out and sits down. Out of the periphery of my vision, I can see Phil reach for my hand.
“What’s wrong?”
I groan into my arms and take a deep breath before I sit up. “My mum called today. Apparently my cousin Cassidy is getting married next month and she invited me to the wedding.”
“Er, alright. I’m not sure I’m understanding the problem here…”
“There are several things. One really big problem and a whole buttload of smaller problems.” Phil looks at me expectantly. “One: the wedding is June 15th and my mum wants me to come home for my birthday. Two: I was told I could bring a date to both my birthday and the wedding. Three: my lovely mum offered to set me up on a blind date with her friend’s daughter.”
Phil chuckles. “Alright. None of those seem life changing. If you have to go home for your birthday, we can celebrate early, that’s fine. Also, I’d rather you didn’t take your mum up on the blind date, seeing as I like having you as my boyfriend and all.”
“None of those were the big problem, Phil.”
“So what is it then?”
I finally look up enough to meet Phil’s eyes. “I told my mum I’d have to turn down the blind date since I’m seeing someone. Now she’s hoping I’ll bring that person home with me. And she’s assuming that person is a girl.”
Phil looks about like a deer in headlights. “Oh.”
“Yeah. Oh.”
“What are you thinking of doing?”
“I’ve thought about this a lot in the past—” I glance at the clock “—three hours. There’s only one logical option. I need to come out sooner or later, so it might as well be now, I guess.”
“I don’t want you to feel pressured. If you aren’t ready or don’t want to, we can figure something out.”
I close my eyes and collect my thoughts, taking a deep breath. When I open my eyes, I resolutely meet Phil’s gaze. “I’m sure. I knew the time would come and it’s come,” I say with an air of finality.
“I’m proud of you, Bear.”
“Thanks. I have no idea how I’m going to do this though. I mean, how does someone just call up their mum and be like ‘hey, thanks for telling me I could bring a date, but fyi it’s a boy and I’m bisexual’…?”
“Probably with a bit more tact than that. Maybe skype would be a better option. Or you could wait until you go home.”
“No, I don’t want to wait until I go home. If I wait until I go home then I can’t bring you as a date. Or worse, bringing you as my date will actually be how I come out. Oh my god, I didn’t even ask, do you even want to go to this? The wedding? I’m sure I can get out of the birthday thing if I try, but I have to go to the wedding. I’d love it if you’d come, but I get that meeting my whole family all at once is really intimidating and I wouldn’t blame—”
“Dan. Shut up.” Phil interrupts me and I stop rambling.
“Sorry.” I turn my gaze downward and toy with the hem of my shirt. Phil grabs my face between his hands, forcing me to look up at him.
“Of course I want to go with you. Both to the wedding and for your birthday.”
“But I know you had plans in mind for here.”
“Nothing that can’t happen a day or two early. This way you get two birthdays!” Phil looks so excited that I almost forget about the task looming over my head. Almost.
“Okay. So that’s settled. Now I just need to actually tell my mum and hopefully she doesn’t revoke the date invitation.”
“It’s going to be fine, Dan. I know it’s nerve-wracking, but I think your family is going to take it much better than you’re giving them credit for. When do you want to talk to her?”
“Now?” I try to sound confident, but instead, it comes out like a weak question. Phil raises his eyebrow. “I want to do it before I lose my nerve.”
Without saying anything, Phil disappears into his room. When he returns, he is carrying my laptop and a bag of Maltesers. “Here.” He shoves the laptop into my hands. “Text your mum now. Tell her you need to skype.”
I nod numbly and do as he says. My mum replies almost instantly.
I’ll be on in 5 minutes. Is everything okay?
I don’t respond. She’ll find out soon enough.
Phil rises and kisses my forehead. “I’ll let you have privacy with your mum.”
“NO!” I shout before I can control myself. I quickly add, “I really, really don’t think I can do this alone. Can’t you just like… sit at the table out of shot or something?”
“Of course. But if you decide you want me to leave, just say so, okay?” He settles back down into his chair and angles the laptop so that only I will be on camera.
I nod quietly in assent without taking my eyes off of the screen. In three minutes there will be a green dot next to my mum’s name. There’s no turning back now.
I snap out of my daze when the skype call comes through but I’m too petrified to move to answer it. Phil notices and reaches over and hits the accept button for me. Instead of pulling his hand back though, he grabs my hand and holds it under the table. The hidden gesture gives me the courage to speak.
“Hi, mum. Thanks for dropping whatever you were doing.”
“It’s no problem, honey. What’s going on?”
“Well, I was thinking about what you said earlier. If the offer still stands, I would like to bring a date.” I choose my words with care, making sure not to use pronouns before I actually intend to.
“Daniel! That’s great news. Of course the offer still stands. I’m so excited that—”
“Mum. Hold on. Let me say what I need to say before you decide if my date is still invited.”
That shuts her up. Phil squeezes my hand under the table and sends me a reassuring look when I glance over. On screen, my mum watches me expectantly.
“My date, um, wouldn’t be a girl.”
In the next five seconds, my mum’s face goes through a series of emotions. First she seems confused, then surprised, then anxious, but finally settles on calm.
“The offer still stands. I would love to meet your boyfriend.” I notice that she seems barely fazed by the word. “And I’m sure the rest of the family would too. So long as he makes you happy and isn’t a serial killer, I think everyone will be just fine.”
As she talks, I can literally feel the weight melting off my shoulders. I was so nervous about the hundreds of ways that this could have gone poorly that I never actually considered she would be so nonchalant about it.
“Thanks, mum.” I can feel tears prickling my eyes. Phil is positively beaming beside me. “Your support means so much.”
“I love you, Dan, no matter who you love.” She looks pensive for a moment. “It’s Phil, isn’t it?”
Her question catches me off guard and I can feel heat my cheeks instantly flush with heat. I nod sheepishly.
“How long?” She asks curiously.
“Um, like September.” She opens her mouth to say something, but I cut her off. “Of 2009.”
“YOU’VE BEEN DATING PHIL FOR THAT LONG AND DIDN’T TELL US?!” She shouts, but she doesn’t sound angry, just shocked.
“I told you I didn’t buy that ‘friends’ crap!” Adrian shouts from the next room.
“LANGUAGE, ADRIAN!” Phil guffaws at the exchange beside me. “Is that Phil I hear in the background?”
“Yeah, Phil’s here.” I jerk my head slightly and Phil shuffles into the shot.
“Hi Mrs. Howell!” Phil waves cheerfully with the hand that isn’t still attached to mine.
“Hello, Phil. I look forward to getting to properly meet you in person soon. So you boys have really been dating for…” Her face scrunches up as she tries to do the calculations.
“Nearly two years?” I fill in for her. “Yeah.”
Her expression turns slightly disappointed and when she speaks, she sounds sadder. “Why did you tell us sooner?”
I knew this would come up. It’s something I’ve thought a lot about since Phil and I started talking.
“Well, at first, I didn’t want to mention it because it was so new. And then when I went to visit him the first time, I was afraid that if I told you what we actually were, you wouldn’t let me get on a train to go halfway across the country to meet my boyfriend. Then I was planning to come to Manchester for uni and I didn’t want you to think I was moving to Manchester just to be with my boyfriend. And, well, since then, I guess I was just nervous and didn’t know how to talk about it or how you would react.”
I could see tears forming in my mum’s eyes. “Sweetheart, I’m so sorry that we’ve made you feel like you couldn’t confide in us. I can’t imagine what it must have felt like hiding this for so long. Please, don’t feel like you need to hide things from us in the future.”
“Thanks, mum.”
The conversation shifted to planning me and Phil’s trip. It takes a bit of negotiation, but we finally settle on us arriving the evening before my birthday and leaving two days after Cassidy’s wedding. I can’t tell who is more excited: my mum or Phil.
When the call finally disconnects, I fly into Phil’s arm. He wraps his arms around me tightly. “It went well. It went really well, Phil.” I’m smiling so wide that my cheeks hurt and Phil pokes my dimple, which is more of a crater than a dimple at the moment.
“It did, Bear. I’m happy for you.” He leans in and kisses my lips softly. He slowly presses long, sloppy kisses along my jaw and the mood shifts into something more heated. When his lips return to mine, the kiss is more urgent. I move my legs to straddle his lap, pulling my shirt off in the process.
Phil works his way back up my jaw and lightly pulls my earlobe into his mouth. “I’d say let’s move this to the bed, but I noticed that someone left the entire law library on my bed.” His voice is husky and his deep chuckle vibrates along my neck, which melts me into an almost incoherent state of bliss.
