now writing on my main: imnotinclinedtomaturity @iminclinedtowriting - Tumblr Blog

Apr 14, 2018

Love Yourself (Chapter 6)

title: Love Yourself summary: A lot of things about Dan’s life are pretty great. He gets to make the music he wants, he’s got a great fanbase, and his manager is his best friend. A few things about his life suck a bit more. He’s currently lacking inspiration, he’s rather lonely, and he’s stuck in a rut. Dan’s been going to the same coffee shop for years. It’s quiet, it’s quaint, it’s near his home. Most importantly: none of the employees give a shit that’s he a world-famous singer. Things change when he meets the new barista. chapter words: 6.1k story words: 26k (so far) chapter: 6/? genre: singer!dan, coffee shop au, barista!phil, slow burn [[ao3]] [[previous chapter]] [[first chapter]]

a/n: i’m fully aware that this is two days late and i’m SORRY. between the end of the semester and getting sick, i’ve failed to meet just about every deadline this week oops. but here’s 6k?

note: this chapter is a bit more M rated than previous chapters. slight tw for homophobia and bi-erasure, and sexual activities.

thank you @auroraphilealis for her wonderful help as always, she always points out the best ways to make my story better

As soon as Dan was across the threshold of his apartment, he sat Darcy down and grabbed his computer from her little fingers.

"Uncle Dan, can we have a snack?" Darcy asked, carelessly dropping the rest of the stuff she was holding. The crayons spilled out of the box and rolled everywhere.

"Just a moment, okay Darce? Uncle Dan has something to do first." Darcy pouted, crossing her arms stubbornly in front of herself, and looked like she was about to complain. "I'll tell you what, you can pick out our snack after you pick up all the crayons."

Darcy looked down at the crayons, which were still rolling away. "Fine. But I want chocolate."

Dan shook his head in exasperation. "I swear, you are just a tiny version of your mother. Meet me in the kitchen when you're done."

Dan practically ran from Darcy once she was occupied. He slid into the kitchen, opening the computer before he even got to the counter. When he was finally perched at the breakfast bar, he opened his Twitter homepage, and completely ignored all of his notifications.

Impatiently, Dan punched in the handle that Phil had given him into the Twitter search bar. A...M...A...Z...I... — holy fuck.

The very first suggestion that showed up — from only the letters "amazi" — was AmazingPhil. And, apparently, AmazingPhil was verified and had five million followers.

What in the fucking hell.

Dan skimmed his profile, trying to figure out why in the actual fuck Phil had five million followers. The tweets on Phil’s page weren’t particularly helpful. None of them gave any insight into why he had several million followers. There was a link in his bio though; shakily, Dan clicked on it, opening it in a new tab.

The page felt like it took ages to load. Dan’s internet was so fucking slow. Finally, he was staring at a YouTube page.

A Youtube page for AmazingPhil.

A Youtube page for AmazingPhil that had over four million subscribers.

Dan didn’t waste any time opening the first video on the page in another tab. Immediately, he was greeted by Phil's typical one-handed wave and a bright "Hey guys!" As interested as Dan was in the video, he switched back to Phil’s twitter, hoping to figure out what the heck was happening. The video continued to play in the background. Phil was talking about how weird of a kid he apparently was (no surprise there, Dan found him to be an endearingly weird adult, too).

Suddenly, Dan understood why Phil was so weird about giving Dan his username. Knowing that he didn’t have much time left to explore Phil’s apparently celebrity life, Dan pressed the follow button and, just to make him suffer a little more, Dan clicked to tweet him.

@danielhowell: @AmazingPhil hey there you snek

Just as Dan pressed send, Darcy came running into the kitchen. Proudly, she threw all of the crayons she had picked up onto the counter, completely defeating her efforts as they rolled across the breakfast bar and clanked to the floor.

"Uncle Dan, I cleannnnned. Can we please have chocolate now?"

"Yes, Darcy, just one second." Dan quickly turned on mobile notifications for Phil before shutting his computer. He was curious, sue him. He didn’t have time to do a full stalk now. But he would later.

He shoved his phone into his back pocket and swooped down to pick up Darcy. He swung her up onto the counter, setting her next to the sink. Darcy let out a high pitched giggle at the sudden swooping motion. Her hands were slightly tinted a rainbow of colors from the crayons. He turned the water on, letting it get warm.

"Wash your hands, then you can have chocolate."

Darcy leaned over the sink to wash her hands, inadvertently soaking her pants and the sleeves of her sweater. After all of the effort he'd made to keep her dry, too.

"I think that's enough of that." Dan laughed and pulled her wet hands away from the tap. Before she could make too much more of a mess, Dan turned off the water. He opened the cabinet by Darcy, bringing a hand to her waist to steady her as she clambered up to stand on the counter. She peered into the cabinet seriously, evaluating the food options Dan had. Her tiny hand reached out to grasp a box of chocolate biscuits. Proudly, she turned around to show Dan her selection.

"Can we have milk with the biscuits too?"

"That's the only way to have biscuits!" Dan pulled Darcy back into a seated position before he walked to the fridge. He pulled the milk out, only to find that there was hardly any left — right, he was supposed to buy new milk and got distracted. Oh well, too late now.

He poured the small amount of remaining milk into a glass for Darcy and tucked the biscuits under his arm. She instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist when he pulled her off the counter. He carried her into the lounge, setting her down on the couch and dropping the biscuits into her lap.

“Hold on just a second, Darce. I want to get you a new shirt since you got yourself all wet.”

Dan ducked back to his room, grabbing one of his spare t-shirts. When he got back to the living room, Darcy already had the box of biscuits opened and was munching happily on one. Dan rolled his eyes, not at all surprised she’d started on them before he got back. He grabbed the biscuit and the box from her hand, balancing them precariously on the arm of the couch.

“Can you stand up for me? I brought you something dry to put on.” Obediently, Darcy stood up on the couch and lifted her hands above her head, letting Dan pull off her damp sweater. He tugged his t-shirt on her and helped her pull off her sopping leggings. “Is that better?”

Darcy nodded her head enthusiastically, jumping back down into her seated position. She looked precious in his shirt. The hem of it fell passed her knees and the sleeves, which reached his mid-bicep, hung passed her elbows. Dan loved having Darcy in his life and was eternally grateful that Louise allowed him to be as big of a part of her life as he was. Someday, way down the line when his life had settled down some, Dan desperately wanted a kid (or two or three) of his own. But for now, he showered all of his attention on Darcy.

"What do you want me to put on the tv?"

"The Tigger Movie!"

Dan bit back a groan. He'd spent all of Darcy's life trying to get her into Winnie the Pooh and for some reason she's picked the worst Pooh movie to be her favorite. Honestly, he was so fucking sick of this shitty movie, but he put it on the tv anyway. He deserved a fucking award for Uncle of the Year for how many times he'd watched this bastardization of Winnie the Pooh.

Dan fiddled with his phone, his eyes flickering back and forth between his dark screen and Darcy. Inadvertently, she knocked the box of biscuits over and a few tumbled out onto the floor. With better reflexes than he realized he had, Dan reached over and caught the glass of milk just as Darcy was jumping down to pick up the fallen snacks. When she settled back on the couch, Dan repositioned the milk between her legs and poured a few of the biscuits onto the couch for easy access. Screw the crumbs. It was better than her dropping them all over the floor again and potentially knocking the milk over as well, especially as he was fully planning on tuning out of the movie as soon as he could.

Dan waited until Darcy's attention was fully consumed by Tigger's annoying bouncing around the screen before he pulled his phone back out. Surprisingly, there was a notification from Twitter — apparently Phil had already tweeted him back.

Dan swiped on the notification, opening the app.

@AmazingPhil: @danielhowell Hiss Hiss [snake emoji]

Dan looked at the time stamp on Phil's tweet. It was dated a mere two minutes after Dan had originally sent his. Interesting.

Dan switched over to the YouTube app, finally taking a moment to properly look at Phil's channel. According to his about page, he had created his channel on February of 2006. His description said that he "shares his strange life with people on the internet" — from everything Dan had learned about Phil so far, he definitely did have a strange life. He was looking forward to getting to hear more about it while watching the... holy shit, 250 videos Phil had.

Dan tapped back to the Twitter app in order to respond to Phil's tweet.

@danielhowell: @AmazingPhil looks like that's my evenings plans sorted then

Dan glanced over at Darcy. She was still munching on the biscuits. The milk had turned into almost sludge from all the biscuit crumbs that were dissolving in the glass. He was going to have to take that away from her soon. When he looked back at his phone, Phil had already tweeted him back.

@AmazingPhil: @danielhowell Oh no! Please don't go too far back [gif]

Attached to the tweet was a gif of a bunny hiding its face in his paws.

Jesus, this guy is too precious.

Just to be a dick, Dan scrolled all the way back to the beginning of Phil's channel and copied the link to his first video — "Phil's Video Blog - 27th March 2006".

@danielhowell: @AmazingPhil idk this seems like a pretty good starting point https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0dsyXzmHFM

Dan surreptitiously grabbed his headphones and tucked his left earbud — the one hidden from Darcy’s view — in his ear. He clicked play on the video and Phil’s voice… shit, it sounded so Northern. Completely adorable, though.

How old was Phil here? Dan was suddenly desperate to know. How cute was this?

When the video finished — it was only just over two minutes long — Dan clicked back to Twitter. He briefly considered replying to Phil’s tweet again, but decided it might be better to just slide into his DMs.

Daniel Howell: wow you were a baby when you started this how adorable

Phil’s response was instantaneous.

Phil Lester: Shut up, I know for a fact that you have plenty of embarrassing stuff on the internet from when you were younger, let me be.

Daniel Howell: touche lester. you have a fuckton of videos though, so much for my productivity i guess

Phil Lester: What happened to Darcy? Go pay attention to her.

Daniel Howell: she’s watching the fucking tigger movie and eating biscuits, she hasn’t even noticed i stopped paying attention to her

Phil Lester: What? That’s the worst Pooh movie!

Daniel Howell: THANK YOU her and louise don’t agree with me smh

Phil Lester: Wow, how shameful. Maybe you should try something different? Totoro?

Daniel Howell: trust me, i’ve tried. she only likes totoro when she is on the verge of falling asleep idk why

Phil Lester: That’s kind of cute though. I used to watch My Neighbor Totoro when I was going to sleep a lot (maybe I still do shhh)

Daniel Howell: that’s actually adorable (i do too)

Daniel Howell: tbh i wasn’t sure if you’d even see my tweet, much less respond so fast

Phil Lester: This is embarrassing. I may have you on notifications. Oops.

Daniel Howell: philip lester are you a secret fanboy

Phil Lester: Friends are allowed to have notifications on for their friends! It’s not that creepy.

Daniel Howell: it’s not THAT creepy, sure.

After Dan hit send, he panicked that maybe his last message hadn’t come out sarcastic, just harsh. Quickly, he followed it up with another message.

Daniel Howell: ;)

Phil’s next message came almost at the same time that Dan’s second message sent.

Phil Lester: Hey, I only put on notifications once I started seeing you almost everyday.

Dan sent Phil a smiley face and switched back to YouTube. He tapped on the next video — he figured he might as well watch in order if he was going to binge all of the videos anyway.

He made it through a few short videos before he got another DM from phil.

Phil Lester: Oh my gosh, our Twitter mentions are a mess.

Daniel Howell: how so?

Phil Lester: Everyone wants to know how we know each other lol

Daniel Howell: hmm i didn’t think of that

Dan bit his thumbnail in thought.

Daniel Howell: they’re your fans too, so you can obvi do whatever you want but i’d rather the whole world didn’t start coming to beans and grind

Phil Lester: No, me either. They know I’ve started doing some work with the BBC, I’m sure if I say I met you through work they’d all just assume it was that.

Daniel Howell: you do stuff with the bbc? who the heck are you phil??

Daniel Howell: that’s fine btw we can just be vague

Phil Lester: Lol yeah, I guess we have plenty to talk about huh? Come by the coffee shop soon?

Daniel Howell: obviously x

Dan glanced at the clock. It was four o’clock in the morning and apparently he’d been on YouTube nonstop since Louise had come to get Darcy sometime before dinner. Somehow, he was still only in 2014. The man had over 250 youtube videos, 120 of which were just from the past four years. According to Dan’s calculations, that meant he had roughly… another ten hours of AmazingPhil videos to watch?

Well shit. How was he supposed to be productive tomorrow, now?

After carefully (drowsily) considering his options, Dan made the best decision his curious, tired brain could make at this hour: he turned autoplay off, but kept clicking on video after video. He figured that if he fell asleep during a video, at least this way he wouldn’t accidentally sleep through two dozen videos.

Somewhere around five in the morning, Dan clicked on the first AmazingPhil video of 2015 and fell asleep to Phil’s quirky, eccentric storytelling. He had fully intended to get a full night’s sleep so he could wake up bright and early and head to the studio in hopes of finding inspiration, but… here he was now.

Despite being up until dawn watching AmazingPhil videos, Dan managed to wake up when his ten o’clock alarm went off. Out of habit, Dan pulled open Twitter and scrolled through his mentions — Phil was right, they were a mess. Almost every single tweet was screaming about the fact that he’d tweeted at Phil. A substantial number of the tweets were begging for the story of how they had met. AmazingPhil was tagged in almost all of the tweets, too. Who knew they had such overlapping audiences?

As he was scrolling, he realized that Phil had responded to a few of the messages. Eager not to miss anything, Dan switched to Phils Tweets and Replies page to see all of his responses.

@AmazingJenniffffer: @AmazingPhil tell us something we don’t know about @danielhowell

@AmazingPhil: @AmazingJenniffffer His standard coffee order is a triple espresso with one sugar and he’s a complete grump until he’s finished half of it.

Dan huffed in annoyance. He wasn’t a complete grump. He just… wasn’t very cheerful.

@danielhowell: @AmazingPhil @AmazingJenniffffer i resent that. i’m a delight thank you very much.

Phil’s response came quicker than Dan was anticipating.

@AmazingPhil: @danielhowell You haven’t had coffee yet this morning have you?

Dan’s eyes narrowed at the accusation. Stubbornly, he threw off the duvet so he could get up. He wasn’t about to let Phil have the last word here.

Jesus, it was bloody freezing in his flat.

Hugging his arms around himself, Dan looked around his floor, searching for something warm and relatively clean to put on. His eyes fell on Phil’s pugs not drugs jumper. Before he could overthink it, he pulled the jumper over his head. It was warm and comfortable, okay? It had nothing to do with the fact that it was Phil’s.

Dan could practically hear his internal devil laughing at the thin excuse, but the angel in his mind shoved the thought out of his head. That thought was far too much to process before coffee.

He stumbled into the kitchen and made a cup of coffee through half-lidded eyes. He spent a bit longer than normal picking out a mug while the coffee pot brewed, knowing he was about to tweet a picture of it. Eventually, he settled on a sloppily painted polka dot one his sister had made him — it would make her happy if she happened to see the tweet.

When the coffee was (finally) done, he filled the cup all the way to the brim and dumped in a small spoonful of sugar. While he waited for it to cool, he moved the coffee to the breakfast bar and carefully angled his camera so that the mug and his guitar on the kitchen table were both in shot.

@danielhowell: @AmazingPhil excuse you not only do i have coffee but i’m being productive [picture]

Dan tried to shove his phone into his pocket, only to remember that he was just wearing pants. Somewhat annoyingly, Phil’s jumper didn’t have a pocket either. Precariously, Dan tucked his phone under his arm, grabbed his phone and his guitar, and meandered into the music room. By the time he had set the guitar down next to the piano, his phone had chimed with another Twitter notification.

@AmazingPhil: @danielhowell You’re not fooling anyone, that coffee is completely full

There was also a DM from Phil.

Phil Lester: I thought maybe you’d come to b&g this morning.

Daniel Howell: sorry louise might actually have my head if i don’t do something productive today

Phil Lester: :( Rude, what are you supposed to be doing today?

Daniel Howell: working on writing the piano piece for a new song and louise threatened that if i didn’t have a draft of it by the end of the week then she was going to hire a composer because apparently i ‘take too long’

Phil Lester: Doesn’t she understand that art takes time?? (do I sound like a total fanboy if I ask for a preview?)

Daniel Howell: smh apparently not (yes but i watched 160 of your videos last night so i don’t think i can judge. i’ll send you something when i have something)

Without waiting for Phil to respond, Dan sat his phone face down on the top of the piano. He knew if he kept responding to Phil, he’d end up just talking to him all day and not getting any work done and, at that rate, he might as well have just gone down to Beans and Grind.

Dan spent the next hour and a half switching back and forth from playing his guitar, where he knew how to play the song, to the piano, where he was trying to arrange an accompanying piece. The top of the piano was littered with messy, half-crossed-out attempts at new sheet music.

After another hour of furiously trying to translate the song to the piano, Dan finally had a working draft of nearly half of the song written. Needing a break from flat out writing to just playing, Dan decided this was as good a time as any to film Phil a sneak peak of his new song. Awkwardly, Dan gripped his phone in his mouth and hit the record button, doing his best to record his hands on his piano. Unfortunately, the phone dropped almost instantly, landing face up so Dan had to awkwardly give Phil a terrible look at his face.

He watched the video back. There was just a quick clip of a piano, his hands, and a blur of his torso. It was kind of hilarious actually. He knew his followers would find it just as funny as he did.

@danielhowell: i was trying to film an exclusive sneak preview for @AmazingPhil but ended up with this gem instead

Without waiting to see his followers reactions, Dan returned his phone to his mouth and took another attempt at the video. This time, he managed to film the forty-five second portion of the song he’d composed.

He watched the video back. It was a bit shaky, both in filming and in… well, the quality of the song. Obviously, there weren’t lyrics or guitar or drums, but the piano part was complex enough that it sounded nice on its own. Still, he’d only just finished writing it, so his finger hit the wrong keys a few times and there were a couple of instances where his hands stilled for a split second, trying to remember what came next. Briefly, Dan considered refilming it, but he knew if he did it again, he’d end up filming fifteen drafts and wimp out of sending it.

Instead, he dropped it into his DM conversation with Phil, and sent it without a caption.

Weirdly, he was a bit nervous about Phil’s reaction to his music. So far, only Louise and his producer had heard the song — and that was just the guitar and vocal portion. Literally no one had heard any of the piano part yet. For all he knew, it was shit.

Instead of dealing with his nerves, however, he dropped his phone back on top of the piano and wandered back to the kitchen. He’d realized he’d only had coffee today and had completely forgotten about food.

In the kitchen, he grabbed a packet of crisps and a ribena and shuffled back to the music room. By the time he got back, Phil had already responded to his DM.

Phil Lester: What the heck? You’re so talented. Did you just write that now?

Daniel Howell: i mean technically i adapted it from the guitar, so it wasn’t like i was starting from the beginning or anything

Phil Lester: Don’t be mean to yourself! The guitar and piano are very different instruments.

Daniel Howell: and i’ve been playing them both since i was five, no excuses

He tapped back to his general notifications to see that his mentions were a wreck again. So far, there were several dozen tweets informing him that Phil had the exact same jumper. He had kind of forgotten that he was wearing Phil’s pugs not drugs jumper, to be honest. Well fuck.

Dan groaned to himself. He hoped no one thought too much about the outfit choice. Particularly Phil.

A notification popped up at the top of his screen.

@AmazingPhil: @danielhowell nice jumper

Or not, then. Dan rolled his eyes. Of course Phil had noticed. Even if he had overlooked the fact that Dan was wearing his jumper in the three second video, enough fans had pointed out that he had the same jumper as Phil that he was bound to see it.

He half expected Phil to DM him about it too, but he didn’t. Dan briefly considered DM’ing Phil himself, somehow trying to justify his clothing choice, but he figured there was no coming back from it now. Best to just move on, really.

Dan dropped his phone back onto the hood of the piano and re-concentrated his efforts onto composing the new version of his song.

Dan wasn’t sure how long he had lost himself in the music, but he was eventually jolted back to the present by the chime of the lift door.

The high pitched ding of the lift opening drew Dan out of his trance. The flat was silent for a moment, but the chime was quickly followed by a resounding smash and the smash was followed by a sharp clang. Dan dropped the pen from his mouth and dashed into the living room to see what the fuck was happening in his apartment.

Much to his surprise, he found Isabella standing in the middle of his kitchen. Around her, several of his pots and pans were spread across the kitchen floor, almost as if she was trying to make as much noise as possible.

“What the fuck, Izzy?” Dan asked, frozen in the kitchen entryway.

Isabella didn’t acknowledge Dan’s presence. She opened his next cabinet and grabbed a few more pots, unceremoniously chucking them to the floor.

“Wait, wait, wait.” Dan rushed over to Isabella, pulling her hands from the cabinet and holding them in front of him. “Stop it. What the fuck are you doing, Isabella?”

Isabella ripped her hands out of his grasp and reached for his next cabinet. She grabbed the nearest cookware and smashed it harshly to the floor. Just in time, Dan leaped back. The heavy metal bowl landed just centimeters from his bare foot.

“Jesus, Isabella. Will you stop? What the fuck is wrong?”

As Isabella opened up yet another cabinet, she realized that she was out of pots and pans she could crash to the floor. So instead, she turned and started grabbing what she could see in the cupboard.

His beautiful mug collection.

“Izzy. Izzy, Izzy, Izzy, Izzy. Stop, what are you doing?”

Isabella sent him a harsh, angry look. “You tell me. What the fuck do you think YOU’RE doing?”

Isabella grabbed another one of his gorgeous black mugs and smashed it to the floor.

“What the fuck? No, Izzy stop! I like my mugs.”

Isabella turned and stared him dead in the eye, grabbing the next mug and crashing it against the hard tile floor. Mug after mug, Isabella threw his prized possessions to the ground. Quickly, Dan found his kitchen floor becoming filled with little bits of Totoro, legos, and black ceramic.

“Fucking christ, leave me something to drink coffee in, will you?” Isabella snatched another mug off of his shelf and threw it to the floor with all her might. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Who is he?” Isabella grabbed another mug — ironically, his favorite mug, which was bright pink, and smashed it to the floor.

Fuck, he loved that mug. His grandma had gotten it for him years ago. It was her way of silently supporting his rebellion against gender roles when he had first started wearing nail polish and earrings sometimes. And now it was broken. Smashed into four big chunks.

Dan bent forward and scooped the pieces of the mug off the floor, cradling them into his chest.

“Who is who?” asked Dan, completely lost, as he set the broken shards of glass gently on his breakfast bar — far out of Isabella’s reach.

“You know who I’m talking about. That boy from twitter!” Isabella held another mug in her hands threateningly.

“...that boy from twitter?” Dan carefully hopped through the glass, taking care to avoid stepping on the large shards of his favorite mugs that littered his kitchen floor. Naturally, she didn’t have to worry about the glass, she didn’t have to worry about the mugs he so desperately loved cutting up her feet. She was wearing nine hundred pound shoes that were surely worth more emotionally than the mugs his family and friends had slowly given him over the years.

“What are you on about?”

“You know, that one you’ve been tweeting all last night! And today! So fucking flirty.” Carelessly, she dropped the mug she was holding by her feet.

“You mean Phil?” Dan glanced down at the shards of glass at his feet, honing in on the hand painted bits of broken glass.

“Phil? That’s Phil? Like coffee shop Phil?”

“Yes?” Dan stuttered. “Why? What the hell has gotten into you?”

“That guy you’ve been tweeting with is the coffee shop guy, the one you haven’t been able to shut up about for ages!? Nice jumper, by the way. I’ve never seen it before. But it sure sounds like all of Phil’s precious little fans have. It’s his, isn’t it?”

“What is your point, Isabella?” Dan asked through gritted teeth. He’d been trying, really trying, to stay calm. His mother had always taught him that getting loud and angry back didn’t solve problems and that was what he had been trying to do so far — solve whatever this problem was. But bringing Phil into it… that angered Dan more than almost anything else so far. More than his Totoro mug, more than the Lego mug, more than the near miss of the heavy metal bowl.

“You’ve been, like, spending so much damn time at that coffee shop recently. I was concerned it was because of a girl or something, but, of course, I forgot you were gay.” Isabella’s words came out sharp, dripping with poison.

Dan flinched back. In the back of his mind, he could hear the callous, ruthless taunts of his school bullies calling him gay, homo, fag… He tried to shut out the memories, but her tone, her tone mirrored those kids’ tones so closely that it was hard. He’d been comfortable, proud even, of his sexuality for years, but one word, one tone, one attempt from someone he loved to use a word he was proud of as an insult and… suddenly he was right back in his terrified, raging adolescent mindset.

When he’d told Isabella that he was open — enthusiastic even — to dating more than one gender, she had been cold, rude even. But that didn’t even compare to her throwing and shattering every kitchen item he owned onto the floor because of — well, this.

“How many fucking times do we have to have this conversation?” Dan closed in on Isabella, backing her into the corner of the counter. “I told you, I’m not gay. I like girls just as much as I like guys, or anyone else for that matter.”

Isabella scoffed at him. “Right, tell that to your new friend, Phil. With the way you’ve been acting recently, I just assumed that you’d let the full freak-gay flag fly.”

“One,” Dan angrily grasped the counter, right against Isabella’s hip, “I never said I was into Phil. Two,” Dan’s other hand landed on the counter on Isabella’s other side, effectively trapping her against the counter. “Even if I was, I wouldn’t be gay. Just in case you forgot, Izzy, there’s this thing called bisexuality.”

Isabella tilted her head sideways, looking back at Dan through heavily-lidded eyes. “I’m not sure I believe you, Danny. You’re going to have to prove to me that you still like vagina.”

Dan felt something snap within him. Isabella’s constant jabs at him, her constant disbelief that he could find multiple genders equally attractive, her inability to realize that despite his attraction to anyone else, he was actively choosing to be in this relationship… it all drove Dan to a point of anger that he hadn’t ever felt before in his life.

Suddenly, he wasn’t just backing Isabella against the counter, he was lifting her up by her upper thighs and pressing her against the marble countertop. His mouth instinctively found her neck, harshly biting more than kissing. In response, her leg wound its way around his waist, forcing him in close.

He shoved her harder against the counter, lifting her up further so she could sit, forcefully spreading her legs apart so he could stand between them.

Dan didn’t hesitate, working his way aggressively down Isabella’s neck, sucking and biting until he reached the crest of her bulging breast. His tongue flicked over it, dipping down into her bra and across her nipple. He’d never felt so angry before. All he wanted was to make her finally shut up, to make her finally stop making jokes about his love of dick.

Never once had he asked for the opportunity to seek cock, to take cock, to suck cock, yet here she was, angry about the fact that he could even consider wanting cock.

“If I were only into dicks,” Dan muttered, squeezing her other breast in his hand roughly, “would I love your boobs as much as I do?”

Dan roughly pulled her shirt and bra down with his teeth, giving himself more access to her chest. His teeth scraped sharply against her soft skin, leaving bright red marks behind. In response, Isabella wrapped her legs tightly around him, pulling him in tightly.

“Fuck, Dan…” Isabella hissed. “Like, I said… prove to me you aren’t into him.”

Dan growled, reaching his hand under Isabella’s thighs, sliding up until his hands were tightly squeezing her ass, and forcefully pulled her forward. Her legs instinctually locked around his waist and he effortlessly started walking her back towards his bedroom. Without warning, she started biting at his earlobe. Hard.

“Jesus, fuck. Isabella…” Dan trailed off, gasping as arousal shot through him. Isabella’s teeth moved lower, sinking into his shoulder so sharply that they nearly drew blood. Without warning, Dan shoved her against the hallway wall.

“Fucking hell Isabella…” He bit and sucked his way down her neck, latching on to her exposed breast again, groaning at the feel of her under him. He hadn’t expected this to be quite as much of a turn on as it was. His arms shook as he held her, biting at her skin, thinking about how much he just wanted to fuck her, show her how much he wanted her. He was just worried he was being too rough.

“Is this okay?” he gasped out.

Isabella responded first with a high pitched whimper. Dan hesitated for a moment, pulling back, searching her face for consent. “Yes —” she finally whimpered, bringing Dan’s attention back to her body. “Don’t stop.”

Dan growled, pushing her harder against the wall, holding her up with just his lower body. Good, he thought, because he didn’t want to stop. His hands tugged at her lacy top, tearing through the delicate fabric.

“Danny!” Isabella yelled, “That was expensive!”

“Does it look like I give a fuck?” Dan didn’t even bother meeting Isabella’s gaze.

He reached behind her, unsnapping her bra. Her tight skirt had ridden up from their position, granting Dan open access to her body. His left hand wound its way out from under her knee to her inner thigh, while his other hand landed on her lower back, roughly pulling her further against him, until his hard cock was pressing against her. His nails scratched sharply against her back, surely leaving deep red marks above her ass.

In turn, Isabella’s hands wound their way down Dan’s side and underneath Phil’s jumper. She shoved Dan backward, nearly causing him to lose his grip on her, and yanked the jumper over his head. The moment his shirt was off, Isabella’s hands returned to his shoulder, her nails raking down his back.

“I don’t care if you’re gay for coffee house boy, Danny, remember that you are mine.” Isabella punctuated her sentence with a sharp bite to Dan’s neck.

Fuck. She knew. She knew his neck was an off-limits zone. And yet, she still chose to bite at it.

Fuck it. Dan retaliated. Without mercy, his mouth attacked her collarbone, sucking a deep, dark purple mark against her pale, white skin. When he pulled back, he could see the marks of his teeth glowing red, encompassing a dark purple patch. Not good enough. Dan moved to the other side, latching his lips on the opposite side of Isabella’s neck and biting down.

Isabella matched him bite for bite, scratch for scratch. For every mark he left on Isabella, she left one on him. His hand had just worked its way fully up her skirt, grasping her hip so hard that it was bound to bruise, when Isabella bit his ear harshly, mumbling, “Fuck me, Danny, prove to me that you like me most.”

Defiantly, Dan ripped her away from the wall and carried her toward the bedroom. The whole way, her hands kept scraping down his back, her mouth kept sucking at his neck. In turn, Dan pulled at her hair and squeezed at her ass so tightly that he was sure it would bruise.

When they finally reached the bedroom, Dan threw Isabella mercilessly onto the bed, arms shaking with the effort of holding her up for so goddamn long. His hands immediately went to pull down her skirt as her hands reached for the drawstring of his pajama pants. Without ceremony, his pants and her skirt fell to the floor. The moment his cock jumped up, Dan was ready, and he pushed into her, roughly showing her just how much he liked her.

*ducks and hides behind the metal bowl isabella threw at dan* please don't hate me

#iminclinedtowriting #love yourself #ly #phan #phanfic #barista!phil #singer!dan #au #phan au #phanfiction

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