#2017 challenge

[trapgoose420]

First pic wa taken in Jan. Second taken in Dec. This year has been something but I'm glad to be where I'm at.

[weirdfanperson]

Ew.

[alwaysbringabookwithyou]

#Challenge Your Shelf 2017 Part Two

Part One here

[kentparsonbirthdaybash]

A Kent Parson Birthday Bash Reading Guide to: Patater

This fic reading guide is for Kent, and our favorite Russian Falconer, Alexei “Tater” Mashkov! All fic is organized by length, and the ratings and descriptions can be found next to and underneath the titles of all fics. Click the title to read!

”Patater Cuddling” for sohini96 (Rated G, Art)

A quiet morning spent cuddling on the couch.quiet morning spent cuddling on the couch.

“Some Days are Harder Than Others” for cablesscutie (Rated T, 1k)

"Shit." Just when Kent was about to make a call back, the time and date hit him. It was his God damn birthday and he had a party and he's pretty sure he fucked up something.

Kent has doubts about himself and lacks confidence, thankfully he always his goof of a boyfriend Tater there with him.

“Something New” for allonsyarielle (Rated G, 1.6k)

When Kent bumps into Alexei Mashkov at his favourite brunch place, he finds something very unexpected, something he'd almost given up on.

“A Soft Place to Fall” for PoisonousFlower3 (Rated E, 2.3k)

“I have surprise for you, Kenny,” Alexei whispered against Kent’s collarbone. The certain surprise was burning a hole in his suitcase, mocking him every time he grabbed clothes for the day. Alexei wanted to wait until Kent’s actual birthday to use it, and the wait had slowly been driving him crazy.

“Chirping Kent Parson” for Potrix (Rated T, 3.7k)

“I’m just--” Kent fumbled for an explanation for his behavior. The only father-figure he'd ever had was judging him for his culinary skills, his first love was flirting with his new boyfriend ten feet to his left, and said boyfriend was looking at Kent like he ran over his dog.

Too much. Too ridiculous. Instead, Kent settled with changing the conversation. “What are you making, anyway?”

“I make surprise dish. Rat stew. No ingredient but is okay, since you are here. Judges will be very surprised.”

“Friends In Low Places” for TragedyIsTheirs (Rated T, 4.8k)

“Hey, Mashkov,” Kent says, “who do I gotta blow to get a drink around here?”

“The Proud and the Prejudiced” for topieornottopie (Rated M, 5.1k)

“Don’t ruin pretty face,” a familiar, accented voice drawls. “It's only thing you have going for you.”

“Fuck off, Mashkov,” Kent barks back automatically before he stills, and then slowly turns around to face the other man. “Mashkov? What the fuck are you doing here?”

Kent has annoying but well-meaning friends, a lot of (internalized) issues, and a mild pretty bad swearing problem. But he gets to kiss a hot guy at Pride, so there's that.

Something Sweet  for entirely_too_tall (Rated T, 5.6k)

When the media asks Kent what he was feeling as Mrs. Durand drove him to the Colisée Financière Sun Life for his first day with the Rimouski Océanic, he feeds them a cocktail of emotions: excitement, nervousness, and determination all at once. He isn’t lying—he was feeling those things—but his feelings were pushed to the back of his mind in favor of the Smell. The closer he got to the rink, the more detail he could pick up: freshly mown grass, fir, birch, lilac, and upon stepping into the rink, Kent swears he can smell maple syrup.

“Land of Wishing Wells” for lautjuh1 (Rated E, 9.6k)

Somehow Kent goes from dateless to Jack and Bitty’s wedding to going to it with Alexei Mashkov. Not a real date. No, they’ll play fake boyfriends, and then somehow break up after the wedding. He’s not even sure how or if they can pull it off, but Alexei is dead set on it working.

Breathe You In for carsonphillips (Rated T, 43k)

A soulmate AU where you can smell your soulmate from across the room, but not pinpoint who it is, and Kent tries to find out who he's smelling on the ice.

We’ll be posting separate reading guides for different Kent ships throughout the week, so stay tuned! You can also visit the main challenge page here and browse all fics submitted to the exchange. 

[kentparsonbirthdaybash]

A Kent Parson Birthday Bash Reading Guide to: PB&J

This fic reading guide is for PB&J: Parse, Bitty, and Jack! All fic is organized by length, and the ratings and descriptions can be found next to and underneath the titles of all fics. Click the title to read!

”You Look Pretty Good Down Here (But You Ain’t Really Good)” for Bittyybee (Rated E, 5.6k)

Jack finds himself a little overwhelmed at his first BDSM kink party. Luckily, Kent and Bitty are there to show him the ropes.

“Bed and Breakfast” for SummerFrost (Rated M, Art)

Kent's birthday celebration starts a bit early and continues the following morning.

“Best Birthday(s) Ever” for jacksbits (Rated E, 1.8k)

Snippets of Kent's birthday through the years. He's not always around, but he's always on Jack's mind.

“Cherry Pie: 50 min @ 425F” for blindinglights (Rated E, 2.2k) 

“Yeah. You want in, Zimms? Or should we get a room?”

“Both?” Jack asked, looking to Bitty.

“Both,” Bitty breathed.

“Both is good.”

(jealousy) get the best of me. for blue_rocket_frost (Rated T, 4.6k)

There’s a familiar couple with warm smiles and crinkled eyes standing at the airport outside his gate with a giant sign sporting his name, and Alicia Zimmermann gives Kent the biggest, warmest hug he’s had off the hockey rink in years. Kent forgot how much he missed that. How much he missed them.

In the excitement of it all, Kent forgets a very, very important thing about Bad Bob Zimmermann.

Bad Bob Zimmermann is a terrible meddler.

“Displaying Our Love” for Omgpieplease (Rated E, 4.9k)

Kent receives a suggestive snap from Bitty. Jack doesn't have sex during the playoffs. Both of these things lead to one of the best nights of Kent's life.

Not Quite Singing in Perfect Harmony for cambo (Rated T, 27k)

Bitty held up his phone with one hand and rubbed his eye with the other. “Kent Parson is engaged?”

“Kent’s engaged,” Jack said. He wasn’t sure how he felt about it. Happy for him? Surprised? Something else?

Bitty looked over at Jack and sighed. “Invite him to dinner,” he said.

We’ll be posting separate reading guides for different Kent ships throughout the week, so stay tuned! You can also visit the main challenge page here and browse all fics submitted to the exchange. 

[kentparsonbirthdaybash]

A Kent Parson Birthday Bash Reading Guide to: Troyson

This fic reading guide is for Kent, and our mysterious Ace, Jeff “Swoops” Troy. All fic is organized by length, and the ratings and descriptions can be found next to and underneath the titles of all fics. Click the title to read!

*Note: we have tried to include each fic with its “endgame” pairing, so some fics tagged as Troyson on ao3 might not be on this list, but will be on  other compilations!

“A long flight” for checkthanks (Unrated, Art)

Fanart of Kenny and Swoops on a long flight home.

“Crossing the Line” for minyrrds (Unrated, 1.1k)

Kent Parson resolved to get over his longstanding crush on his straight teammate long ago. Luckily for him, he was never successful.

Got You (on my radar)  for madameofmusic (Rated T, 2.6k)

Kent's really starting to regret asking Bitty for dating advice. 

“hesitate” for nightswatch (Rated T, 2.8k)

> Is this your way of showing love? By insulting me?

That actually makes Jeff pause. He considers giving Kent a hint, at least a chirp at the weird swooping his stomach did.

> Nah I just like insulting you to insult you

(Wherein it takes playing at different teams for these two to get together.)

It's About Forgiveness for McBangle

Kent stares at his phone. He reads the text three times. He checks the name of the sender five times. It’s a text from Jack, who, outside of saying ‘good game’, he hasn’t talked to in six years.

Hey how are you?

Now he wants to know how he is?

“we should just kiss (like real people do)” for LydiaStJames (Rated T, 6.7k) 

In which Kent Parson has a cat who keeps secrets from him, and a crush on a teammate that isn't much of a secret anymore.

“Ace Observation” for ronanlynchisneversleepingagain (Rated T, 7.3k)

Alternatively Titled: Tyler Frye Gets His Groove On

“you could be happy (and i won’t know)” for originally (Rated T, 10k)

The year he turns 26, Kent Parson renews his contract, comes out and figures out how to talk about his feelings. It's a steep learning curve.

“the start of something” for dogstarblack (Rated T, 20.3k)

The story of how Jeff Troy became, at first, Kent Parson’s linemate, then his friend, and eventually something more than that.

We’ll be posting separate reading guides for different Kent ships throughout the week, so stay tuned! You can also visit the main challenge page here and browse all fics submitted to the exchange. 

[kentparsonbirthdaybash]

Kent Parson’s Birthday Bash 2017 Author Reveal Masterpost

Hello there creators, readers and everyone in-between,

Guess what time it is? That’s riiiiight!!

It’s officially reveal time and this post contains all 52 works submitted to the challenge organized alphabetically by author.

You can access the AO3 challenge here at any time.

Thanks for much for participating in the challenge this year. It’s been a blast & we’ll see you next year!

Best,

@whiskeytangofrogman & @iamneversleepingagain

A

achilleees for blithelybonny: you got me wanting you (Rated E, Nursey/Kent/Dex, 11.3k): “Kent – Parson?” Dex said, kind of a squeak. “Like…” “How many Kent Parsons you know of?” Nursey said. “Yeah, Parson. Number one celeb crush. I’m mad into that douche-ass smirk, man.”

Aj4668 for McBangle: It’s About Forgiveness (Rated T, Kent/Swoops, 6.1k): Kent stares at his phone. He reads the text three times. He checks the name of the sender five times. It’s a text from Jack, who, outside of saying ‘good game’, he hasn’t talked to in six years. Hey how are you? Now he wants to know how he is?

alpha_exodus for goldstandard: Moving in Slow Motion (Rated E, BittyParse, 8.6k): Bitty's room is overbooked at orientation, which means he has to stay in the only available bed left. But that bed is in the RA's room, and the RA in question happens to be Kent Parson.

alwaysbuddy for blazeofglory: the fires we started (Rated E, Pimms, 6.1k): “How long?” Kent asks. He won’t look at Jack. He won’t. There’s a pause. “Since.” Jack doesn’t look at him either. “Since then.” Since you.

asimpleline18 for ticktockclockwork: There For You (Rated M, BittyParse, 4.8k): Eric is a DJ rising through the gay club scene in Las Vegas when he and Kent Parson fall in love after Kent becomes the first openly gay player in the NHL. They start to fit into each others' lives until Kent makes a mistake because of his own insecurities. Can they fix it before they drift too far apart?

B

Bittyybee for jacksbits: Best Birthday(s) Ever (Rated E, PB&J, 1.8k): Snippets of Kent's birthday through the years. He's not always around, but he's always on Jack's mind.

blazeofglory for daydoodles: someone you maybe might love (Rated T, Pimms, 1.4k): Jack and Kent: the three happy years before the draft.

blindinglights for lautjuh1: Land of Wishing Wells (Rated E, Patater, 9.6k): Somehow Kent goes from dateless to Jack and Bitty’s wedding to going to it with Alexei Mashkov. Not a real date. No, they’ll play fake boyfriends, and then somehow break up after the wedding. He’s not even sure how or if they can pull it off, but Alexei is dead set on it working.

blithelybonny for mahons_ondine: With a Thousand Sweet Kisses (Rated T, BittyParse, 7.2k): Ten times Kent kisses a boy.

blue_rocket_frost for tragedyistheirs: Friends In Low Places (Rated T, Patater, 4.8k): “Hey, Mashkov,” Kent says, “who do I gotta blow to get a drink around here?”

bookwyrmling for redporkpadthai: Puerto Vallarta (Rated T, BittyParse, 2k): It's been five years since they met in a whirlwind vacation fling and five years since they began dating. Bitty wants to make sure the next five years, and much longer, start off on the right foot.

C

cablesscutie for blindinglights: Cherry Pie: 50 min @ 425F (Rated E, PB&J, 2.2k): “Yeah. You want in, Zimms? Or should we get a room?” “Both?” Jack asked, looking to Bitty. “Both,” Bitty breathed. “Both is good.”

cambo for TheUnvanquishedZims: :3 (Rated G, Gen, Art): Kent is a cat burglar who has a friendly acquaintanceship with other villains he sees around town, at least until a bunny-themed burglar starts showing him up. Time to teach bunny-boy a lesson... if Kent can catch him, that is. (And does stopping a thief make you a hero? Oh no. Oops.)

carsonphillips for entirely_too_tall: Something Sweet (Rated T, Pimms and Patater, 5.9k): When the media asks Kent what he was feeling as Mrs. Durand drove him to the Colisée Financière Sun Life for his first day with the Rimouski Océanic, he feeds them a cocktail of emotions: excitement, nervousness, and determination all at once. He isn’t lying—he was feeling those things—but his feelings were pushed to the back of his mind in favor of the Smell. The closer he got to the rink, the more detail he could pick up: freshly mown grass, fir, birch, lilac, and upon stepping into the rink, Kent swears he can smell maple syrup.

checkthanks for minyrrds: Crossing the Line (Unrated, Kent/Swoops, 1.1k): Kent Parson resolved to get over his longstanding crush on his straight teammate long ago. Luckily for him, he was never successful.

D

dogstarblack for alwaysbuddy: About Time (Rated T, Pimms, 3.5k):“You sure you're ready?” Kent asked, looking up at Jack. “Kenny, I’m sure. You don't have to keep asking, okay? I want to do this with you,” Jack assured him, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “Okay,” Kent echoed, laying his head on Jack’s chest, his fingers lacing through Jack’s. “Almost doesn't feel real, you know? Like, we’ve had to hide for so long and we just--won’t have to anymore.” “It'll be good,” Jack said, squeezing Kent’s hand. “It'll be fucking amazing, that's what it'll be,” Kent said, his lips stretching into a grin. “You just had to one up me,” Jack teased. “Always.”

E

eden22 for fieldofdiabolicalbutlovelykillers: Player 15 (Rated E, BittyParse, 20.4k): A list of things that Kent Parson definitely isn't: 1. He definitely isn't worried that the Aces just drafted Eric Bittle because he's a younger, faster version of Kent 2. He definitely isn't bitter and jealous that Bittle got Jack and Kent didn't 3. He definitely isn't falling for him

entirely_too_tall for carsonphillips: Breathe You In (Rated T, Patater and Kent/Swoops, 42.9k): "Don't hide away from me like this, Zimms. You don’t smell it?" The Soulmate Smell, people liked to call it. Scientifically, it was just pheromones, compatible people heightening each other’s sense of smell, to suss each other out like bloodhounds sniffing down their target. "Smell what Kenny? I didn't smell anything." "Don't lie to me!" Kent snaps. -- A soulmate AU where you can smell your soulmate from across the room, but not pinpoint who it is, and Kent tries to find out who he's smelling on the ice.

G

goldstandard for omgpieplease: Displaying Our Love (Rated E, PB&J, 4.9k): Kent receives a suggestive snap from Bitty. Jack doesn't have sex during the playoffs. Both of these things lead to one of the best nights of Kent's life.

I

imamaryanne for takumiismypatronus: It’s Magic (Rated T, Kent/OMC, 12.6k): In 2001, Kent Parson reluctantly goes to see the first Harry Potter movie with his sister. He has no idea how much being a Harry Potter fan will change his life, even years later.

immarcesibility for niesbixby: find me somebody to love (Rated T, Kent/OMC and Kent/OFC, 12.6k): Kent Parson has it all. Money, fame, looks, you name it. The only thing missing in his life? A relationship. He has been single for longer than he likes to admit, and he's turned into the crankiest old person because of it. Of course, his friends notice that, so they do the only thing they know will help: Set Kent up on dates. The only problem? Kent is picky as fuck. or: five times kent's friends set him up on dates and one time they didn't need to

IProtectKennyP for cambo: Not Quite Singing in Perfect Harmony (Rated T, Pimms and pre-PB&J, 27.1k): Bitty held up his phone with one hand and rubbed his eye with the other. “Kent Parson is engaged?” “Kent’s engaged,” Jack said. He wasn’t sure how he felt about it. Happy for him? Surprised? Something else? Bitty looked over at Jack and sighed. “Invite him to dinner,” he said.

J

jacksbits for manhattanproject: A Timid Love Beneath The Skin (Rated T, Pimms and pre-PB&J, 7.2k): “You should go see a trainer about your shoulder,” Jack says, voice low, approaching Parse’s side at the bar. Parse’s head snaps up. “What are—well, hello to you, too. Jesus Christ, Jack.” Or, Parse gets injured during the All-Star Game, and Jack tries to make him go see a trainer. Things escalate. To... massages?

K

katarama for blue_rocket_frost: (jealousy) get the best of me (Rated T, Pimms, 4.6k): There’s a familiar couple with warm smiles and crinkled eyes standing at the airport outside his gate with a giant sign sporting his name, and Alicia Zimmermann gives Kent the biggest, warmest hug he’s had off the hockey rink in years. Kent forgot how much he missed that. How much he missed them. In the excitement of it all, Kent forgets a very, very important thing about Bad Bob Zimmermann. Bad Bob Zimmermann is a terrible meddler.

L

ladymars for nightswatch: hesitate (Rated T, Kent/Swoops, 2.8k): > Is this your way of showing love? By insulting me? That actually makes Jeff pause. He considers giving Kent a hint, at least a chirp at the weird swooping his stomach did. > Nah I just like insulting you to insult you (Wherein it takes playing at different teams for these two to get together.)

lautjuh1 for ladymars: always gold (Rated G, Kent/Nursey, 6.1k): Derek looks like fall; the good parts of it, at least, when the sun is shining through the cracks of red and orange trees, when everything is just a little softer and warmer and nicer. Kent always liked fall best, anyway. Or: the one where Kent and Derek both visit the park every morning to watch the sunrise, and their lives become infinitely more intertwined.

LydiaStJames for madameofmusic: Got You (on my radar) (Rated T, Kent/Swoops, 2.6k): Kent's really starting to regret asking Bitty for dating advice.

LydiaStJames for potrix: Chirping Kent Parson (Rated T, Patater, 3.7k): “I’m just--” Kent fumbled for an explanation for his behavior. The only father-figure he'd ever had was judging him for his culinary skills, his first love was flirting with his new boyfriend ten feet to his left, and said boyfriend was looking at Kent like he ran over his dog. Too much. Too ridiculous. Instead, Kent settled with changing the conversation. “What are you making, anyway?” “I make surprise dish. Rat stew. No ingredient but is okay, since you are here. Judges will be very surprised.”

M

madameofmusic for immarcesibility: aftermath (Rated T, Pimms, 1k): Jack and Kent meet up years later, and talk about what went wrong.

ManhattanProject for IProtectKennyP: Avocado Toast (Rated T, Kent/Snowy, 1.1k): “You won’t tell anyone, right?” “That you write romantic poetry or that you’re gay? In which Kent is oblivious as usual.

mahons_ondine for staunchlyanonymous: To Fall Down at Your Door (Rated T, Pimms, 3.3k): Kent Parson is pretty sure he's completely ruined the best friendship he will ever have, and he runs from that knowledge. It takes him four years to find out just how wrong, and also how right he was.

McBangle for bookwyrmling: Hold Me in Your Heart (Rated T, Kent & Zimmerparents, 7.6k): Kent Parson doesn’t need another dad. His own was bad enough. He and his sister have gotten along just fine without one ever since his mom finally kicked that piece of s*** out once and for all. He definitely doesn’t need some ex-hockey star pretending to be a dad to him.

minyrrds for alpha_exodus: spring (Rated T, BittyParse, 22k): Sometimes Kent sits on the floor by the windows of his apartment and feels inexplicably lonely in a city seeking glory and affection, lets his heart feel full of things lost and yet to be found, and hopes for better things to come.

N

niesbixby for ronanlynchisneversleepingagain: Ace Observation (Rated T, Kent/Swoops, 7.3k): Alternatively Titled: Tyler Frye Gets His Groove On

nightswatch for dogstarblack: the start of something (Rated T, Kent/Swoops, 20.3k): The story of how Jeff Troy became, at first, Kent Parson’s linemate, then his friend, and eventually something more than that.

nightswatch for LydiaStJames: we should just kiss (like real people do) (Rated T, Kent/Swoops, 6.7k): In which Kent Parson has a cat who keeps secrets from him, and a crush on a teammate that isn't much of a secret anymore.

O

Omgpieplease for summerfrost: Bed and Breakfast (Rated M, PB&J, Art): Kent's birthday celebration starts a bit early and continues the following morning.

originally for OldLace: Might as Well Swim (Rated M, Pimms, 2.5k): Kent and Jack find themselves at the All Star Game together for the first time.

P

palateens for achilleees: drive on through the night (back home) (Rated T, Pimms, 5.1k): They’re not the same people they were in the Q, with hockey looming over their heads. They’re better.

palateens for aj4668: The People Who Leave Us (Rated T, Kent/Ransom and Kent/Swoops and Kent/OMC, 21.5k): Ransom signs with the Aces because they’re as far away as he can get from Boston. He figures that despite their reputation for playing dirty, they’re the most progressive team in the league. He looks over at Kent, whose face is sullen and lost in a house full of people here to be with him. He wonders if someone could know his entire story without him saying more than a few words.

PoisonousFlower3 for cablesscutie: Some Days are Harder Than Others (Rated T, Patater, 1k): "Shit." Just when Kent was about to make a call back, the time and date hit him. It was his God damn birthday and he had a party and he's pretty sure he fucked up something. Kent has doubts about himself and lacks confidence, thankfully he always his goof of a boyfriend Tater there with him. Or The one where Ransom joins the LV Aces, and Kent sometimes has a grip.

Potrix for topieornottopie: The Proud and the Prejudiced (Rated M, Patater, 5.1k): “Don’t ruin pretty face,” a familiar, accented voice drawls. “It's only thing you have going for you.” “Fuck off, Mashkov,” Kent barks back automatically before he stills, and then slowly turns around to face the other man. “Mashkov? What the fuck are you doing here?” Kent has annoying but well-meaning friends, a lot of (internalized) issues, and a mild pretty bad swearing problem. But he gets to kiss a hot guy at Pride, so there's that.

R

Redporkpadthai for sohini96: Patater Cuddling (Rated G, Patater, Art): A quiet morning spent cuddling on the couch.

ronanlynchisneversleepingagain for originally: you could be happy (and i won’t know) (Rated T, Kent/Swoops, 10k): The year he turns 26, Kent Parson renews his contract, comes out and figures out how to talk about his feelings. It's a steep learning curve.

S

sohini96 for allonsyarielle: Something New (Rated G, Patater, 1.6k): When Kent bumps into Alexei Mashkov at his favourite brunch place, he finds something very unexpected, something he'd almost given up on.

staunchly_anonymous for asimpleline18: three (Rated T, Kent/Tater/Snowy, 1.5k): Three's a crowd -- or is it?

SummerFrost for bittyybee: You Look Pretty Good Down Here (But You Ain’t Really Good) (Rated E, PB&J, 5.6k): Jack finds himself a little overwhelmed at his first BDSM kink party. Luckily, Kent and Bitty are there to show him the ropes.

T

takumiismypatronus for imamaryanne: Yer a Wizard, Parser! (Rated T, Kent/OMC, 8.5k): Sure, Kent Parson is gay. But that’s not his biggest secret.

TheUnvanquishedZims for palateens: Meet Me When You’re Over Yourself (Rated T, Nursey/Kent and Shitty/Lardo/Kent, 4.1k): Meeting your soulmate is a choice. Some people make it more easily than others.

ticktockclockwork for eden22: Starved (Rated M, BittyParse, 16.3k): ‘Early retirement’ wasn't a phrase Kent had ever expected to use in regards to himself and yet here he was, just ten years into his career and releasing a statement with those exact words. Other parts of the press release included 'best interest’ and 'true asset’ but the ones that were the worst to read were those first two Early retirement. Fuck him. --- Kent suffers a career ending injury in a game against the Caps, forcing him to hang up his jersey for good. Now he must learn to cope with the loss of his past life and decide what to make of himself without hockey to define him. Lucky for him, help can be found in unexpected places.

topieornottopie for checkthanks: A long flight (Unrated, Kent/Swoops, Art): Fanart of Kenny and Swoops on a long flight home.

TragedyIsTheirs for PoisonousFlower3: A Soft Place to Fall (Rated E, Patater, 2.3k): “I have surprise for you, Kenny,” Alexei whispered against Kent’s collarbone. The certain surprise was burning a hole in his suitcase, mocking him every time he grabbed clothes for the day. Alexei wanted to wait until Kent’s actual birthday to use it, and the wait had slowly been driving him crazy.

[kentparsonbirthdaybash]

gahhhhh so i don't normally read bittyparse, but something about "Moving in Slow Motion" called to me and IT WAS SO GOOD. Kent the R.A. is amazinfggg

Moving in Slow Motion for goldstandard

“Bitty's room is overbooked at orientation, which means he has to stay in the only available bed left. But that bed is in the RA's room, and the RA in question happens to be Kent Parson.”

Our favorite line: "Bitty reads Kent Parson off of the nametag on the door. It’s a nice name. He could fuck a guy with that name."