[ sms: baby bun 💘 ] jeongguk ur totally drunk right now lmao
[ sms: baby bun 💘 ] is you getting drunk what it takes to say all that to me )-:
[ sms: baby bun 💘 ] i kid i kid
[ sms: baby bun 💘 ] i love you too 💕💕💕
[ sms: baby bun 💘 ] where are you right now?? when are you coming back i miss you i haven’t kissed you yet today //:
[ text > 여보 💖] : more like drunk in ur love
[ text > 여보 💖] : mmmmmmm i mean i always appreciate u i just
[ text > 여보 💖] : dont know if i say it a lot hahah
[ text > 여보 💖] : you saying ily is what all i need in life
[ text > 여보 💖] : im at a bar?? i honestly do not know where we are its so noisy in here :-(
[ text > 여보 💖] : i cant find my manager either lmao come pick me up please?? i’ll pay in kisses
So far Jiyong was spending the festival eating. The food surrounding him was too temping, although most of them seemed to have pastry of which he wasn’t a big fan. And maybe it was also due to the fact that he was trying really hard not to smoke a cigarette among blooming cherry blossoms. However, this made him quite surprised with his own self as actually he was attempting not to ruin other people’s experience. He rarely cared about the no smoking sign but now he didn’t even needed it to show some more selflessness. His cigarette break could definitely wait and after all, he was supposed to limit the packs he was emptying per week.
Adjusting the round sunglasses sitting on his nose bridge, with his eyes he shallowly scanned the exhibitions and some street performances happening whilst he was strolling down the street. In the distance he could spot another food stand, what immediately caused him to hurry his pace as if he hadn’t eaten in days. Getting closer, he noticed a sole — and so deliciously looking — piece of rice cake. If it had disappeared from the tray this rapidly, it had to heaven in mouth.
Stopping by, the corner of his eye caught someone else’s hand being held out as well. His fingers almost touched the pastry when furrowing his brows, Jiyong gazed towards the person who dared to show up there at the same moment. Recognizing Taehyung, his stern expression loosened up and a small smile crept onto his lips. “How come such scene takes place outside the grocery store, too?”
In a few years more people will call you June more often than Junhoe and there will be several reasons for that. It will be one of the many major changes you will undergo. But you will be proud of those, I promise.
You have the world on your fingertips — don’t be afraid to grab it. You’ll find out that the universe is also yours. You have so much to offer but you don’t know it yet. You are greater than you think.
Patience is the key, it’s been your motto for a long time and you should stick with it. Right now you’re busy with reading manifold books and you get lost in them when the reality is way too much for a young man like you to deal with but one day you will publish your own. Sometimes you hurriedly scribble fleeting thoughts and ideas in your notebook, you happen to write poems and then hide them in a drawer, don’t you? I have satisfying news for you. Those will find their place in your very first volume of poems. Wait for that.
Your name won’t be echoing in the hallways as remarkably as others’ but it certainly isn’t a is tragedy for you. High school won’t start too well for you. Taehyung, your closest friend with whom you share every secret you keep, you will ditch him for the sake of hanging out with the marauders. You will hope that their company will help you forget about how rough Cheongnam is and you will wish they will successfully fill the hole after the loss — they won’t.
Among them all, you will find a good friend in Yoori. Though, you will blindly look up to the rest, especially Jongin and Sehun who won’t have the best effect on you. You will want to be their replica, so you won’t be seen as a stray puppy that follows them everywhere. Yet it’s not who you are, Junhoe. You weren’t born a marauder.
Once you graduate, you’ll think you can finally cut those ties and start with a carte blanche. The past will keep on coming back at you. Again and again. Sooner or later, you’ll get accustomed to that.
Stay strong.
Sincerely,
Your future self (someone you hopefully won’t be ashamed of).
Coming home to a mess of a house and Pudding running straight to Jeongguk’s legs was a refreshing sight to see. Even though the house was empty, it was at least feels a bit like home when there’s Pudding around to ease the pain. His brown fur reminds him of Taehyung, and Jeongguk was a bit thankful he had left this furry companion on his arms. His face feels like death, though. His face mask completely covers what he has been through his stay at the company all day, but a face mask isn’t enough to treat the swelling and abuse.
Getting dragged by his manager was embarrassing. Getting sworn at and having to accept slurs though were a new level of shame Jeongguk had felt throughout his twenty-two years of his life. So this is what happens when you don’t follow rules. He felt sick. Jeongguk was tired from crying. It was supposed to be a fun night, celebrating his success and fame but now he felt like he just wasted everything he has worked hard for, and his worth was now diminished with just a few mistakes he did that only makes him human.
– if i don’t got you then i got nobody at all.
The drive down towards the company was quiet. His manager had said every filthy word Jeongguk could possibly receive. He didn’t feel reacting though. He didn’t want to put up a fight. He felt like he wasn’t a human being in that moment anyway; he was a product of the company, so why bother with his own rights? He didn’t have the right to complain. He didn’t have the right to say something.
Jeongguk didn’t have the right to fight for Taehyung. Jeongguk didn’t have the right to have Taehyung.
And his company’s contract didn’t have to do anything with it.
Jeongguk doesn’t deserve Taehyung.
– you know i was down for you.
Jeongguk should have braced himself for the CEO’s hand to be slapped across his face. That will definitely leave a mark for a while. He was silent the whole time, silently agreeing to every report his manager says to the CEO. Jeongguk should feel used to the look of disappointment, but no matter how many times his pretty face gets damaged by the “disciplinary actions” they are all imposing on him, the look of disappointment hurts way more than anything else.
– now i’m wishing that i never bowed to you.
“You’ll be closely watched from now on. The only time your managers will leave your sight is when you come back home. They will all closely monitor your actions. Normally this will require them to also move in to your house, but you need to realize that I am actually being kind to you at this state. Your wounds will heal and I’ll cover any medical assistance you’ll need. You won’t be allowed to call or text your lover. You’ll have to surrender your phone to them as well. You can only have it back again when you’re back home. I will suspend your activities for two months, and you are not allowed to post anything on your social media accounts on that time frame. Do you understand, Jeon?”
– and if you can’t see what’s in front of you, you lose.
Jeongguk’s face was swollen. The bruises on his jaw had darkened, his lips were busted, and yet somehow every blow he had received was perfectly covered by a mask. They clearly knew what they have done to Jeongguk. “Pudding…” he softly stroked the crown of his lovely companion, nuzzling to his chest as if it already knew how Jeongguk was feeling (or what he’s not feeling). He didn’t have the strength to cry anymore. The dim lights on his house perfectly fit his current situation, and honestly, Jeongguk doesn’t know what to do now. Where does he start?
Maybe a glass of water and a few pops of his medication will do for now.
[text: jjk💕] did you really write those lyrics yourself? [text: jjk💕] i thought they were really nice...
[ text > kim taetae ] : yeah i did…[ text > kim taetae ] : it’s about us really. deleted![ text > kim taetae ] : i’ve been thinking a lot lately and[ text > kim taetae ] : i guess you can say those lyrics mean a lot to me.
“Jeongguk,” a familiar soft voice peered on the composer’s ear, surprised to see that it belonged to his manager. They had no schedule that pertained to his nearing comeback, so a confused Jeongguk was a bit annoyed that he was bothered whilst finalizing his own track. Confused, he turned at his manager, about to ask what is it that he wants until the singer was cut off with a phrase that he didn’t want to hear so suddenly.
“The CEO wants to see you.”
The halls of the room were quiet. Quite deafening and Jeongguk was uncomfortable. His relationship with the CEO was good, like a father-son relationship, if you will, which makes sense since the man was the one who found Jeongguk when he was basically no one, and struggling to get a degree on university. Yet the cold stare and stoic facial expression the other was giving at Jeongguk was a first, and the singer actually knew why the cold expression and the lack of pleasantries were present at this meeting. Jeongguk was also pissed at the recent blasts at Deadlock. It could have been because it wasn’t Gossip Girl who sent them in, but the lies about his private life were a headache.
He wasn’t avoiding Dean. At least, in Jeongguk’s defense, he was too busy for his comeback that he didn’t had the time to be any kind of social.
He wasn’t sleeping around. God. When was he even intimate with anyone else? With Taehyung, probably, back in the New Year’s reunion, yet that was a different kind of intimacy. It was leaning to the emotional kind. They didn’t even kissed back then. God.
It was all fake and unreal, yet the netizens were crazy about them. The CEO shifted his back to lean closer at Jeongguk. This kind of close proximity was new to Jeongguk, and it’s making him fear for his life. Is my contract going to be terminated? Is my comeback going to be postponed because of the rumors? Who the fuck is multiple texting me why is my phone vibrating so much?
“Jeon Jeongguk.”
“Y-Yes sir?”
“You do know about your boundaries, right? Or should I remind you?”
“No sir, there’s no need. I know what I can do and what I can’t.”
“That’s funny. It’s funny because the rumors said otherwise.”
A long pause. Jeongguk tried to divert his attention somewhere else just to take a break from the tension, and his hand went to his phone, revealing Kim Taehyung had texted him a few time already. Jeongguk’s face was screaming the pent up frustration he was feeling, as he turned his phone on do not disturb.
“One of your booty calls?” The CEO asked.
“No sir,” Jeongguk returned his phone inside. “The rumors do not bear any truth in them. None whatsoever.”
“Do you think the people care if it’s true or not, Jeon? You’re carrying the company’s name on your back. I gave you this opportunity to be who you are right now. And this is how you’re repaying me? Do you realize how easy it is for me to take you out of the industry when these rumors of you being gay and sleeping around get out of hand?!”
Long pause.
“I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”
A shift on the CEO’s back. “It better be. But for now, focus on your comeback. We’ll let these rumors die out on it’s own again. And Jeongguk?”
“Yes sir?”
“Are you dating anyone?”
Jeongguk held the phone inside his pocket, remembering Taehyung’s texts unanswered. A sigh came out from his lips, as he remembered the times he was actually chasing Dean to be his. But even that was just a lame attempt of distracting himself from his own feelings.
New Year’s Eve is a nightmare for artists and idols. Jeongguk never knew that fact until now. His schedule was all over the place; literally. From performing to one broadcast station to another, he was beyond tired. And as if it wasn’t enough, getting invited to a Cheongnam High reunion added to his already tight schedule, that Jeongguk didn’t have the enough time to dress down a little to be able to come fashionably late. It didn’t matter that Jeongguk was wearing the same clothes from his last performance, and that it didn’t matter to him that he was basically still emitting the aura of an idol as he stepped inside the hall.
And on the first step, he almost regretted not wearing something less noticeable. Jeongguk honestly thought he’d go unnoticed because, who was Jeon Jeongguk anyway when he was still in high school, right? People are very disgusting creatures. If Jeongguk was nowhere near successful right now, he knows he’d only come and go on this party without anyone noticing. Yet now that he’s making a name for himself, eveyone’s acting like they know his story back then. The small crowd gathered around Jeongguk was making him physically and emotionally sick; there were too many fake people trying to make a small talk.
His smiles were falling apart, and the fake laughter started to irritate his ears. Jeongguk was looking far from the crowd around him, and had laid his eyes on the one person he never thought would be here right now. Taehyung.
Jeongguk’s gaze was fixed on his ex, as if he was trying to make him notice that he needs Tae’s help at the moment. His eyes were pleading and his hands were placed inside of his slacks’ pockets, trying to keep up his cool demeanour; and if they still had the connection as strong as before, Jeongguk knows that Tae would get it that he’s miserable right now and needs saving. Not like Jeongguk doesn’t need some saving every day.
It was another one of his lazy mornings at home, book in hand and sipping at the mildly boiling cup of coffee. In his mind, Yoongi was going through his plans for the day; staying at home until 11, then go out for lunch && to buy some groceries and come back home after all that’s done && maybe do some writing after checking that everything was in order in terms of the store. As he was finishing off the remainders of the contents of his cup, a loud series of bangs at his door immediately told him that his day was officially ruined. No - one else he knew would do something like this and get away alive.
Taking his time, he washed his cup and put it onto the drying rack to the lovely ambiance of loud knocks and a voice yelling for his presence right this second or else. Striding over to the door, he interrupted the boy mid - yell. ❝ Or else you’ll what?? ❞ Stepping back, he catches the younger man just in time before he falls face - first into the floor from the momentum of his knocking. ❝ I told you already, I’m not going. ❞
