I've been anxious all day today, without really having a reason or knowing what I'm anxious about. I'm not sure if this was a mild flashback or what. I don't know what could have started this shit, besides this being the aftershocks of last week's therapy session. Wuth?
I'm very confused and tired all day because it takes so much energy to just move and do stuff. Argh.
I've done some painting and research on how to watercolour. It's a challenge because my brain is not used to thinking watercolour. I'm using my inktober stuff to practice; the paper is weak so it's not the best to work with, but it's fun and I do have a couple sheets of nice watercolour paper for paintings when I'm more sure of myself.
The painting does help take my mind of this bad feeling. I'm not sure if I'd describe it as more grounded or present or what. It's hard to put into words.
I've pushed through and met with a friend for cake and chatter. I was afraid I'd have to cut it short because I'll run out of energy but it was refreshing. The bad feeling actually stopped while we were talking. It was very pleasant two hours.
I think I'll have to look for some nice good-feel reading to help me through these days. Or writing. I'll probably end up writing angsty Jack? Or I'll start on that Ladybug fic of mine. Angsty Chat and heart-broken Ladybug is a nice option too.
