An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Even without the influence of nationalistic propaganda that always left a slightly sour yet not wholly unpleasant taste in his mouth, Kuro loved every single bit of Japan; equally loving the dark, shadowy parts of Japan as well as the new, innovative side that the government was all too willing to gleefully showcase. And for the longest time, Kuro told himself his love for his country was enough to keep him sane – in fact, enough to thrive in spite of it all. And for the longest time, it was. But then he had to go and meet you.
---
Kuro Honda often prided himself on his self-discipline and restraint, flaunting his honorable and prideful demeanor in front of his impulsive fellow nations, silently mocking them in a manner only Zao and Luciano ever seemed to pick up on.
Truthfully, he couldn’t credit the entirety of his restraint to his natural temperament, not unless he was trying to blend in among the mortal humans he served. In truth, restraint was intimately intertwined with his own immortality in a way that not just Kuro, but even his impulsive fellow nations he loved so much to mock, fervently hated. Kuro had never held any particularly strong belief in a specific higher power, but if he did then he would happily waltz into Hell and mock the devil themself, for nothing could compare to the torture of the loss of mortality and with it, the loss of true autonomy over his life, an autonomy that the mortal humans that he so loyally and enviously served couldn’t begin to comprehend.
He didn’t like to dwell on such dark thoughts however. Viktor and Francois had obsessed over such questions several centuries ago and all it got them was a hollowness in their eyes and a dependency on alcohol. Instead, Kuro simply shuffled along the endless stream of time, allowing himself to believe that he should be grateful as it is a most honorable and important duty to represent one’s motherland. Even without the influence of nationalistic propaganda that always left a slightly sour yet not wholly unpleasant taste in his mouth, Kuro loved every single bit of Japan; equally loving the dark, shadowy parts of Japan as well as the new, innovative side that the government was all too willing to gleefully showcase. And for the longest time, Kuro told himself his love for his country was enough to keep him sane – in fact, enough to thrive in spite of it all. And for the longest time, it was.
But then he had to go and meet you.
He had seen many beautiful features on humans throughout his time as an immortal, but after a while he supposed it all seemed the same. There was a certain monotony to humankind physically wise that left Kuro quickly bored with beauty after his first three centuries alive. Yes, occasionally some pretty little thing would come around and catch a bit of his attention, but he hadn’t felt such a raw, carnal attraction since he had been young and naive enough to sacrifice his mortality. He hadn’t even realized just how powerful and addictive the feeling was until he had laid eyes on you on that fateful evening.
Kuro had been enjoying the sunset in a beautiful Japanese garden in Tokyo, his loyal companion’s reincarnate, Mochi, happily observing the Koi fish in the pond. It was a weekly routine the two had shared for half a century at this point, one Kuro was convinced he’d never tire of. The occasional person (or even worse, a couple) would walk past the bench where Kuro sat, sending him pitiful looks, but Kuro rarely even noticed them. Until you nervously cleared your throat Kuro, who’s eyes had been closed in an attempt to meditate, he hadn’t even realized he was in someone else’s presence. His eyes quickly blinked with an irritation that melted away as quickly as it came. It was at that moment upon gazing at your breathtakingly beautiful frame and features, that Kuro was finally convinced that there must be some form of a higher power for there was no way one person could be crafted so perfectly in a godless world.
He straightened his posture, Mochi strutting to sit down next him, his head tilting in confusion for never once in the thousands of lifetimes he spent next to his owner’s side had he allowed his cold facade to drop so quickly. Kuro blinked twice, not wholly trusting that you were truly there and not his eyes and imagination playing a cruel trick on him with the shadows. Just as Kuro adjusted to the initial shock of your beauty, a flush covered your face and you shyly fidgeted with your hands. You had lost your phone earlier, you had told him, and wondered if it was left on the bench. Kuro hesitated in his response to you, not out of disrespect but out of amazement at the sound of your soft, smooth voice that could put a siren to shame. Your phone hadn’t been there, and the defeated look of your face created an internal emotional rollercoaster within Kuro. When you began muttering apologies and thanking him, moving away, panic arose within Kuro. Even then, when he barely knew you, Kuro knew he couldn’t lose you, restraint be damned.
“Please,” Kuro stood up from the bench, a calm demeanor on his face despite the desperation within him, “Allow me to help you search for your phone. It will be dark soon and it is dangerous to wander the streets alone. I insist.”
Your beautiful eyes widened in surprise, before happily agreeing to the relief of Kuro. How strange, he remembered thinking as he listened to your list where you might’ve left your phone, I’ve always been happy to protect from the shadows and yet something about you lured him into the light, into taking an active role as opposed to a silent, easily forgotten one.
When you found your phone, you had luckily been the one to suggest exchanging numbers. Kuro relished your enthusiasm and relief upon discovering your phone at a local sweets shop, your eyes lit up. Oh how he secretly yearned for your eyes to light up like that at the sight of him one day.
Not only had your physical attributes taken had left him breathless, your personality had him in utter awe. He quickly learned that you communicated better through texts and messages, as you were still a bit shy around him, but through online you felt a sense of excitement at having a new friend. You were bubbly online, happily chattering about your various interests as well as questioning Kuro on his. Your intelligence was also particularly impressive, although you seemed dead set on remaining modest, aggressively denying the sparse compliments Kuro would offer you about your company, often returning with some self-deprecating joke that tugged on Kuro’s heartstrings.
But Kuro reminded himself that he ought to remain restrained. He tried to bury the thoughts of your kind, gentle reassurances you had instinctively offered him when he offhandedly mentioned how his coworker Luciano was becoming increasingly volatile at work or your polite shyness when you met again in person to walk Mochi together. Why did you have to be a mortal human? Why couldn’t he be lucky like Luciano and Lutz and have the potential love of his immortal life be someone sharing the same fate as him? Had he done something wrong?
Kuro had initially solemnly swore to merely act as a silent protector for you, you didn’t deserve to be dragged down with Kuro and face the hurdles of a romantic relationship with a never aging immortal after all. But one sake-fueled drunk night with Zao had changed his perspective. Despite Zao’s overall stupidity, he had to admit that his drunken reminiscence of the regret he had for not chasing after similar mortal flames he had in the past made Kuro think twice about dismissing you as a potential romantic partner forever. After all, he could just break up with you after some time right? At least he’d get to experience the fullest, most vulnerable version of you he could get, in the little time he had left.
So he had organized for the two of you to meet up again at that bench where you had first met, about two years after your first meeting. The same one close to the Koi pond Mochi loved to play with. You looked so beautiful in the sunset, sitting on the bench beside him, a warm smile on your face as you both watched the sunset in a comfortable silence. When the sun was halfway towards dipping under the horizon, he had turned to admire you for a quiet second, before quietly saying your name to get your attention.
“You have been a wonderful friend to me, I hope you know how much I truly adore simply being in your presence,” Your face reddened as Kuro spoke, causing him to softly smile, “however I am afraid that you’ve unknowingly captured my heart and my mind, leaving me wishing for a more intimate relationship with you.” You gasped, your eyes growing wide. Kuro tried his best to restrain his nerves, however the small stumbles in his vocal tone as well as the slightly faster than normal speed of his voice betrayed him. Nevertheless, he nervously carried on. “If you do not return my feelings, tell me now and I will never bother you with this again. We will go on with our lives and I will be silent in my affections and yearning for you, simply wishing you the best in all that you do and remain content with a platonic friendship should you remain comfortable with that.”
“Kuro..” You started, your voice trailing off, losing its way. Kuro felt a bit worried at your lack of any obvious signs of mutual interest, yet still froze for a second, not continuing until it was clear you had no intention of speaking again immediately.
“Should you, however, return these feelings, simply utter the word and I will become forever yours. I love you so strongly and so recklessly, that despite whatever uncertainty that may lie ahead, you can be certain that I will love you through it all. I must confess I am selfish in my wants, my desires to not only walk by your side throughout whatever life we may go through, but to hold your hand through it all and to kiss you tenderly in the turbulent patches of our life.” Kuro’s voice became uncharacteristically low and soft, his eyes meeting yours as darkness began to envelop the night sky.
Your hand covered your mouth, your eyes still wide in shock. Kuro sat waiting for a reaction from you, trying his best to appear patient yet couldn’t help his cool and calm facade crumble into a solemn, devastated look with each silent second that passed. “Kuro,” you whispered. Kuro perked up, trying desperately to decipher any emotions hidden in your eyes. He had given you the power to destroy him, to reduce him to become a man with hollow eyes and an alcohol dependency. Whether you accepted or didn’t, Kuro knew it would all end the same. But at that moment, Kuro didn’t care. Mortality was nothing more than just a word to him. “...I love you too.”
Kuro’s eye’s lit up, overwhelmed with relief and happiness. A loving yet gentle smile betrayed his feelings, as he quietly thanked whatever higher power there may be for the sweet torture of your reciprocated love. You laughed at his uncharacteristically emotional reaction, a warmth blooming in Kuro’s chest spreading slowly to the rest of his body at the sound of your laughter and your love.
“I’m sorry,” Kuro mumbled, “I hadn’t anticipated this to be as stressful as it was.”
You smiled, the two of you both equally as flustered. Kuro was smiling as if he had won the world, not even hearing when you spoke the first time, “Kuro!” He snapped out of his dream state, gazing at you with such tenderness you were worried you might break right there, in front of him. “Can you, uhm,” your face began to burn in embarrassment, “Kiss me?”
Kuro chuckled, raising hand to cradle your face. “Of course my love. I was worried you’d have me waiting forever.”
He moved to sit down closer to each other so your knees were touching. You felt your breath hitch as you saw him in front of you. His normally apathetic yet beautiful red eyes fluttered close as he leaned towards you placing one hand firmly on your waist and the other one on your jaw, his thumb gently caressing your cheek as he leaned towards you. He tilted his head slightly and leaned forward, hesitating for a moment in front of your lips. You could feel his ragged breath on your lips and closed your eyes, intending on closing the gap between your lips but being beaten to it by Kuro.
His lips were delightfully soft and pressed gently against your lips, your heart going from stopped to erratically beating with every careful movement of his lips. The way he kissed you so tenderly and sweetly, as if you were a fragile item that he was greatly fearful of losing made your heart feel dizzy. He began to kiss you deeper, his lips massaging yours, somehow finding the most perfect spot in your mouth. He moved a bit down and kissed your bottom lip before teasingly dragging it across your now quivering bottom lip. Your mouth parted, practically begging him to kiss you deeper, for you to drown in each other. He happily obliged, repositioning himself so he was above you, one hand remaining on your cheek, the other sliding down your waist to your thigh. You heard him hum in what you hoped was pleasure, delighted by the buzzing sensation on your lips. He kept on with his tantalizingly slow pace, drawing out every bite of the lip and roll of the tongue. It made you mad with both love and pleasure, the way he drawled out kissing you, as if you were a delicacy that needed to be savored. You felt a bit let down when he bit your bottom lip one last time and pulled away, but then quickly shook your head, a dopey smile on your face. What was the rush anyways? The two of you had all the time in the world.
Kuro chuckled at your panting, red, smiling face. You seemed so pleased and happy, he smirked as he thought of how you’d react when he’d show you what real pleasure’s like. He grabbed your hand and interlaced them, happiness overflowing him. All of his restraint had melted away as he kissed you and every part of his body was screaming for him to hold you close. For the first time in a thousand years, he felt his heart beat erratically, his throat buzzing a bit with soreness as he too panted for breath, his mouth turned up in an uncontrollably delighted smile. With your kiss you had brought him back to life, out of his slumberous immortality. You had shown him what it was like to be human with even the smallest acts of your love and he was absolutely addicted. The rational side of his brain tried to argue against his recklessness, reminding him that you wouldn’t last forever and would soon wither away at the blink of an eye, maybe even killed by enemies when they learned of your affiliation with a man like Kuro, however that side had been uncharacteristically drowned out, his mind instead racing with fantasies of a pure, loving romance, the kind filled with affection and love he didn’t know he so desperately craved. Fantasies of living together, marriage and even children overflowed Kuro, blinding him from reality.
If only he had never met you.
Kuro sighed as he ran a hand through his greasy hair. His bloodshot, hollow eyes scanning the photo album you two had once shared, his hand shaking over the last one; a newspaper clipping. Brutal Murder of an innocent bystander to a Yakuza robbery; a robbery of wealth and dignity.
Anger built up on him. Yakuza his ass, he seethed. Zao, fucking Zao of all people had the audacity to think ‘your whore knew too much anyways’ and tortured you to death while high because he wanted to ‘feel in control again’ after being the best man at your fucking wedding six years ago. He wanted to laugh, you had been right at that at least, Luciano would’ve been a better fit. He didn’t care for the stupid excuses he gave of being on drugs way stronger than he anticipated or that he hadn’t even shot her, one of his dumbass ‘friends’ was the one. He’d hunt him down and kill him over and over again for the rest of eternity.
Kuro rested his head on the half empty bed, his arms sprawled out where you used to lay. He missed your warmth, your laugh and your love. It left him broken when he learned of your death, it devastated him. How could the world be so cruel to him yet so forgiving to people like Lutz and Luciano? He hoped that Oliver would be able to find those ingredients for necromancy and would be able to bring you back home to him. He didn’t care for whatever the price would be, if he had to set the world on fire to get you back he would smile for the first time as it all burned.
“Kuro….” your voice rang out, starling him. He shot up, desperately calling out your name. He thought he saw you in his peripheral vision and shot out of bed, jumping towards the corner of his room only to find nothing there. Just a trick of the shadow damnit, the cruelest trick known to man.
