from an idea i had a while back, i hope you all like it <3
how noisy are they? hetalia edition ♡
tags | smut , nsfw , masturbation , scenario , imagine , headcanons , axis & allies , accent kink , country names used , minors do not interact
author's note* here are my headcanons on what allies/axis sound like!! i'm planning to make another post like this but with the nordics. let me know if you'd like a version of this with the women!! or other select characters! you can read part two here and read part three here !
allies ♡
america has to take several breaths in the middle of jerking himself off. yes, even when it's just him he can tend to get way too excited. edging may not be his strong suit but in the short time he does spend touching himself, he imagines himself in front of someone he finds attractive, waiting for their next command.
has a surprisingly whiny moan, kind of like this.
england can be a little loud at times, other times not so much. mainly when it is not appropriate or acceptable to make such a raucous. as for whoever he's with, he'll also prefer to keep them quiet. (a hand across the mouth, perhaps) he likes to kiss them over and over to quieten his partner. he actually talks a lot during sex, albeit not without some serious stuttering. and though, he is most likely mentally kicking himself for doing so, his partner finds it cute.
when he tries to laugh the nervousness off, he sounds like this.
france likes to talk them through it, or rather, whisper because that is just so much more intimate. he makes sure his lover is comfortable and settled in before anything else happens. he could makeout for hours on end if it were possible—touching them through their clothes until they beg for him to finally start doing everything he told them he wanted to do.
his slow kisses make it feel as though it's been hours, and when he starts up it sounds like this.
canada tends to be grabby when he's with the person he really likes. he tries to at least be subtle in his protectiveness over that one special person. he sucks in a breath when he feels their body on his, desperately rubbing against his to cause some friction. he pulls them in closer, feeling their heat. he praises them, acknowledging the fact that they're not shy.
whenever he praises them, it might sound something like this.
russia seriously fights for his life when it comes to not being loud. he tries to moan as low as possible, which is much easier when he is on top. his voice is deep, and can be very loud when he is moaning. his partner insists that it is not a problem, but he'd truly be upset (and humiliated) if someone outside heard him. he likes to tease with his words, nearly mocking his partner. with a smile on his face, he'll tell them how adorably pathetic they sound for him.
he likes to call them cute nicknames in russian, just like this.
china doesn't care to feed into their accent/language barrier kink. so he tries to teach them chinese instead, even praising them for every word they can pronounce correctly. although, he does still find it sweet how they react whenever he calls them a nickname in his native language. he'd never admit it directly though, opting to call them silly for even liking such a thing. he then proceeds to give them a kiss, telling them to move on to the next part of their lesson.
he's very much a tease!! hoping they don't mind it too much when he sounds like this.
axis ♡
italy does whatever his love asks of him. he figures it'll keep him out of trouble if he does. he likes doing what pleases them. most of the time, anyway. if there is something that's kind of embarrassing for him, he'll whine about for a little bit until his love is able to remind them that he is all theirs and only theirs.
he's very, very cute whenever he sounds like this.
germany will explain everything he is doing or wants to do to his partner right before and as he is doing it. not too strict, but extremely disciplined in how he's working his hands over their body. he is able to coax out these short, low noises from their mouth. his touch makes them squirm, but he immediately holds them still. he's talking them down so they'll relax. giving him the green light to continue to touch them.
he's soft spoken, mostly speaking in german like this.
japan swallows loudly, happily so seeing as their tongue was just inside of his mouth. he kissed them so feverently, leaning forward to deepen it. enjoying the way they licked every part of his mouth. he feels so good it almost makes him dizzy. his partner will have to make sure to give him breaks in between for him to get some air. in the meantime, they put their hand to his chest, feeling his fast heartbeat.
he's cute, but out of shape—therefore not having a lot of stamina. he sounds like this.
prussia usually talks into their neck, or hair, when he's feeling a certain way. one time, his partner even brought it up to him that they can't hear what he's saying when he does that. he just grinned and shrugged. he told them it doesn't matter if they can't understand him, that they probably just like feeling his warm breath on their skin anyway. he talks them through everything, mostly saying vulgar things and praising how well they are taking him.
he can get cocky...but this is what he might sound like.
romano likes to edge his partner because it brings him satisfaction when someone else is feeling the same sexual frustration he often feels. he praises them when they do something he wants them to do and only after they do it. if they happen to touch him in a way he especially he likes, he'll demand they do it over and over. he believes there's nothing wrong with prioritizing himself sometimes.
...surely his partner can understand. he sounds like this.
Synopsis : My thoughts on the Allies’ relationship with you !
a/n : this took SO freaking long I genuinely don’t know why. schools been fucking me UPPP but it’s okay cs it’s summer break now 👀.. anyways i hope this is enjoyable !!
c/w : not really proofread, illness/impairment mentioned in America’s, very rushed, clingy England and France, gn I think but fem reader in mind, very fluffy, includes America, Russia, England, and France.
Allies:
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America
This man is so annoying with his love for you. He’s obnoxious with it too.. Just like how he brags about everything, he’ll brag about you. He will go as far as to taunt people too. It’s so tiring to be near him when he goes on a rampage about you.
Even though he’s a whole different genre of annoying, he loves you and its SHOWS. His love language is pretty obviously acts of service but he probably likes physical touch too. He’ll do ANYTHING for you whether it be holding your things when your arms are tired (he flexes and shows off after), basic chivalrous actions, orfixing things for you. He wants to be your “Hero” he says so you let him.
This man was SO corny when you guys first met. He immediately felt attraction towards you and tried to get you to “Fall for him”. He’d actually use pickup lines and be serious with it too. You end up laughing at him thinking he’s joking which isn’t the reaction he wants but oh well — atleast you think he’s funny.
You actually didn’t know he liked you for a while until he casually mentioned it. He was so embarrassed after but tried to play it off, making you laugh which worsened his embarrassment. After reassuring him you both agreed to go on a few dates. He showed up to said dates with flowers and the classic teddy bear in hand. He makes it KNOWN that he will be an absolute gentleman for you.
While this first date was at a restaurant, he usually takes you to places like arcades, carnivals, any fun place, etc. You both travel quite a bit too — to almost every state. His goal is to get you every states’ flower. Whenever you two casually travel he usually takes you to major cities or super country and rural places. One day you’re in NYC the next you’re in freaking Kansas. You never know where you’re going with him.
Alfred is very sweet when you are sick or injured — sickeningly sweet. He knows how hard it is to do things when impaired because of his dangerous stunts and tendencies. When it’s his time to take care of you he is SUPER attentive. Getting you water, helping you walk around, making you food (to the best of his abilities atleast..), and making sure you rest. He is so careful when you’re like this — he treats you as if you’re porcelain.
All in all this man love you to the moon and back and will forever make sure you know it.
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Russia
This man is very yandere-ish with you he does NOT play. He is super possessive — not very publicly because he still wants to keep his facade around the countries. He will grips your arm a little tighter than usual if he thinks the person you’re talking to is too ‘comfortable’ around you. He isn’t rough but it’s firm enough to make you pull back from that person.
I think his love language goes hand in hand with his possessiveness — quality time and physical touch. He is very busy so enjoys every second he gets to spend with you even if he’s not super expressive about it. He is also always touching you somehow and even more confusing is how natural and intimate it feels. He knows exactly how to make you relax with his touch. He’ll move your hair out your face before you can, guide you around when in a crowded area, and caress you so lovingly you just cant help but melt.
Honestly he’d be a bit toxic but who cares..He kind of manipulated you into liking him — not that you didn’t find him attractive before. When he saw you for the first time he knew he wanted you to be his — like a kid seeing a toy they really want. He’d make himself the epitome of perfect around you just to make you think it was your idea to want to date him. He was honestly desperate but he’d never admit that. You once complimented his colonge and he wore the same scent ever since — not changing it even one. He’d get the countries that he has control over to talk to you about him like he was the perfect man (it worked). He’d touch you so very softly whenever he could, making sure his touch lingered. He’d look at you in ways that made your stomach do flips but was still plausible as a friendly look. He was also just way nicer to you than anyone he interacts with — making sure you felt special. When he thought it was time, he confessed in the most possessive way ever. “You love me right? Well even if you don’t, you’re mine now.” You didn’t even argue even if how he said it was very questionable.
Dates with Ivan are usually late night walks, dinner at notsocasual but notsofancy restaurants, or just quality time at home while you guys are reading, cooking, or cleaning. He’d do anything with you really, as long as he gets to be with you.
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England
Oh this man is such a hopeless romantic its sad. He is so desperate for your attention, love, and support.
His love language is definitely quality time, words of affirmation, and physical touch. Starting with physical touch, he would be deeply embarrassed with PDA. He is definitely public about his love for you but he’s very nervous around you so he’d need extra reassurance before kissing you in public. In private though he is ALL up on you. You’ll be cooking dinner and hes basically mirroring you. He’ll grab seasoning for you, helping you flip food, and mix things. If you have pets he’ll take them off the bed just to be closer to you. He’s so possessive but it can be a bit tiring.
Going back to the other love languages, he LOVES spending time with you while you tlak about how much you pove eachother. He’ll lay on your lap while you play with his hair and tell him all about your day. You’ll tell him how smart he sounded discussing world issues with the other countries, how much you admire him for taking up such a stressful job, and just your plans with him in the future. You both can say anything to the other so naturally it’s honestly romantic.
When he first met you he was immediately attracted and tried his hardest to make you fall for him. He’d do anything and everything for you — ask for some water and he has it in 5 seconds, tell him you’re tired and he’ll make a makeshift bed wherewver you are. He’d also try and impress you. He’s tried to make you laugh more times than he can count. It always worked in the end which made his chest full of pride, just happy that you luaghed. He’d dress up more than usual if he knew you were going to be around and would make sure he looked his absolute best (you found him attractive either way). In the end you still made the first move because he is very nervous near you. After he told you about everything he did to impress you he was surprised to learn that you’ve always found him attractive (all that work for what..).
Your dates are always very intimate and well planned. Either picnics, fancy restaurants, or stargazing. He is super attentive on these dates — making sure everything is perfect. He gets your favorite flowers every dates along with your favorite snack no matter where you guys are going. If are in a secluded area while on your date best believe he is all up in that. He would infact be laying on your lap or chest while you olay with his hair. If you’re at a restaurant, he’s holding atleast one of your hands the whole time — just subconsciously making sure you don’t run away.
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France
This guy is obviously romantic so I’ll get straight into it. He’s so intimate with EVERYTHING he does it makes you feel so perverse for thinking he’s attractive when he’s doing something very mundane. He could be writing something about whatever but he’ll look just breathtaking while doing so.
His love language is literally anything and everything you could think of. He LOVES having his hands on you, LOVES spending time with you, LOVES writing you love letters, and LOVES doing things for you. He’ll buy you super expensive and unnecessary items just to hear you scold him because he loves the sound of your voice. He will mirror you even when doing the most mundane things ever. You could be sweeping and he’ll just come up behind you and help you as if you’re a puppet. When he leaves for work before you wake up, he’ll leave notes around the house that talk about his love for you — “Have a great day mon cherie!” “Don’t overwork yourself mon amour!” etc. He’s also the type to go grocery shopping for you, fix things around the house before you notice, and clean up any mess your pets made if you have any.
You guys met through mutual friends and he swears he felt his world light up when he saw you. He was automatically flirty with you like he is with most people but it was 10 times worse. You thought he was joking the first time he confessed, thinking it was his usual antics. He was a bit discouraged hearing you shut him down so he knew he needed to get serious. He would be forward and direct. He’d also cater to you so much so that the other countries thought you hypnotized him or something. Eventually you caught feelings and confessed. He was so eccentric — cheerful even. If you ask him about that day he’ll talk about it as if it was the day world peace was achieved.
Dates with him are so incredibly intimate and romantic. He’ll empty out a whole restaurant for the two of you if you wanted him to. You guys either go on picnics, stargaze, or go to fancy restaurants. When he just wants to spend time with you, it’s usually stargazing. He gets your favorite flowers, a new plushie or keychain for collections, and a snack basically every time. He’ll scatter the flowers around the blanket, place your favorite scented candles around, and basket full of food in the middle. He brings out special cups of your favorite color and fills them with your favorite drink. He makes sure to make food that you enjoy and brings pillows just incase you want to lie down. A speaker playing you guys’ favorite songs going on in the background solidifies the whole experience everytime. This man is so loving it makes you ache inside.
a/n : this is pretty short so sorryy 😔.. have a good day/night !
hiii! i'd love to see you write headcanons about how the hetalia allies would react to their crush flirting subtly with them! with sweet gestures, they way they look at them, soft touches, etc 💖💖
Flirty hints <3
.ᐟ Character(s): America / Alfred F Jones , England / Arthur Kirkland , France / Francis Bonnefoy , China / Wang Yao , Russia / Ivan Braginsky (Hetalia) [SEPARATE]
.ᐟ Prompt: Allies with a crush flirting subtly with them
.ᐟ Upcoming next: Puruth with a GN!S/O who got possessed by a seed..💔
.ᐟ A/N: these are all lowkey very short but I had fun writing all of this! I hope you enjoy it anon!^^ (ps Russia and America’s parts are kinda rushed)
AMERICA !!
• this is my personal opinion but I feel like when it first starts happening, Alfred might not catch onto it immediately but when he does he’ll try to play it off with a loud boisterous laugh
• but despite that you could notice his ears turning bright red from whatever light gesture or compliment from you
• When you brush a stray crumb off his face or If you catch his gaze and hold it with a soft smile, he’ll actually stop talking for a bit. Which is a very rare occurrence
(??? Idk where I was going for the last part..?)
ENGLAND !!
• ARTHUR! OK so If you were to subtly flirting with him, he would catch onto it quickly! It would absolutely terrify him in a way?? and he will get extremely embarrassed but try to maintain a calm, gentlemanly demeanor
• When you give him a soft touch or a lingering look, his brain goes into a defensive spiral of confusion then realization
• Arthur will fidget with his sleeves or his tea cup, looking everywhere but at you
• If you touch his hand, he might physically jump, but he won't pull away from your touch. Instead he’d clear his throat and say something incredibly posh and deflective, like for example, "The weather is quite... humid today, isn't it?"
FRANCE !!
• As a flirt himself, Francis would pick up what you’re trying to do immediately. But however, subtle flirting from someone he genuinely cares about hits him differently than a flashy pickup line. It touches his heart rather than just his ego
• If you touch his arm or make slight gestures towards him, he won't get flustered, instead, he gets abit intense. he’ll lean into the contact, his eyes darkening with affection
• He’ll lower his voice to a soft, silky register and start speaking to you in a way that makes the rest of the room disappear.
• Francis would match your energy and perhaps raise it. If you give him a sweet gesture, he’ll return it with an even sweeter gesture. (Like a back n forth thing?? Ifykwim)
CHINA !!
• Yao!! Although he’s lived for centuries, personal, romantic affection still makes him act like a flustered high school girl.
• If you lean your head on his shoulder or give him a meaningful look, he’ll start fussing
• He’ll complain that you’re distracting him or ask if you have a fever because your face is close to his. All the while, he’s blushing so hard it’s visible from all the way out in space
• He’d try to keep his composure, but it fails the moment you get sweet with him or give him the slightest touch
RUSSIA !!
• Personally I think Ivan is used to being feared or kept at a distance. When you bridge that gap with a soft touch or a warm, lingering look, it’s genuinely overwhelming for him.
• He might tilt his head like a confused puppy, his violet eyes abit wide. He might let out a small, breathless "Oh?"
• If you hold his hand, he’ll wrap his large fingers around yours with surprising gentleness, as if he’s afraid he’ll break the moment.
• He’ll become quiet and look at you with this look in his eyes, simply absorbing the warmth you’re giving him like a sunflower would to the sun on a sunny day
ouhhh this is so random but i came across your canada smut and i absolutely adore it !! it’s lowk rare to find and i’m so happy and content with it and you wrote him so well :(( if you can i beg for more hcs (ㅅ´ ˘ `) ♡
when you edge them !
a/n !: AHHH OMG THANK YOU SM ANON !! I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT <3 !! i tried to write him as accurately as i could ! but of course i will do some more hcs for him !! im gonna do america as well cause i didn't know if you wanted just canada or another character !!
content warning !: sub!canada, dom!america, jerking off, edging, overstimulation, male recieving oral, and use of "daddy".
synopsis !: some nsfw headcanons of canada and america !!
canada
edging isn't his matthew's favorite thing. he does enjoy getting super subby for you though. the way you get so soft with him, cooing at him telling him about what an amazing job he's doing.
he'll absolutely melt if you help him through it !!
words of encouragement, gentle rubs on his body (specifically his face and shoulders), small kisses along his chin to his neck.
'that's such a good boy for me matthew. you've got this you can keep going for me.'
i feel like if you make it last too long he'll start thinking you're just joking/playing a game and start to soften up. or he'll assume you're gonna forget about him and get bored !!
please don't make the poor baby do it for too long! he can't handle all of that !
once you edge him after 2 times
his moans and whines when you edge him are absolutely perfect !! they're so high pitched and cute.
he will have literal tears rolling down his face if it gets to be too much, letting out quiet little sobs and moans.
'mommy/daddy! i can't take it anymore—sob—please let me cum!'
the way he begs you is so adorable. his glasses sliding down the bridge of his nose and hair sticking to his forehead from all of the sweat.
'no pretty boy not yet, just one more for me. you can do that can't you baby?'
Matthew came home with his head down and small little sniffles breaking through the silence. He sat down next to you and laid his head on your shoulder, a tiny wet spot forming on your shirt from his tears.
'oh my goodness baby boy, what's wrong? what happened?'
Your hands rush up to his face, forcing him to look at you. His eyes glassy from all the crying he's done. He doesn't make eye contact with you, he's much too embarrassed to look at you right now. He tells you about how none of the other countries even tried to talk to him today. 'I just feel like they can't even see me sometimes.' You feel so bad about your sweet boy. He's so perfect you have no idea how all the other countries don't care enough to even listen to him. You help him in the best way you know how. Sucking his cock and removing your mouth before he cums.
Sure it sounds mean to tease him after the long day he's had, but you found that edging your pretty boy till he goes stupid helps him forget about everything. The way his sad tears are now replaced with pleasurable ones. His thighs tremble from the suction of your mouth.
Matthew knows that with you, he'll be well taken care of.
america
alfred does NOT like to be edged. when he's got his mind set on something, he takes it. so when you try to keep him from cumming . . . that's cute !
he'll be on top of you in a matter of seconds, using your hole to chase his release. of course he'll work you through yours as well, he's somewhat of a gentleman!
'it was a cute try beautiful, but you know you can't top me!'
on the very rare chance that you actually have him sit through the edging, he'll be leaned over complaining in your ear.
'hey pretty, can we be done with this now? i have a few new positions i wanna try out today!'
alfred will be thrusting into your hand, trying to get any friction he can get from you. even when you land a slap on his thigh, he's still rutting into your hand.
he isn't much of a whiner, instead he lets out loud grunts and a series of 'oh fuck—yes just like that'.
he's definitely the type to try to piss you off so you forget what you're even doing. so he'll be doing that in this situation as well.
'y'know i think that you're doin' this all wrong, you're going too slow and holding it too tighttt.' fortunately for him that does get you to stop using your hand and relacing it with your hole.
but unfortunately, it also means that you tie his hands together with his belt and pull yourself off of him as soon as he gets ready to cum.
Alfred hissed in pain, his leather belt tightening and cutting the circulation to his hands off with each movement. Your soft hand pumping up and down his cock, loud grunts escaping past his lips.
'Pretty I need your hole right now, give it to daddy okay?'
You find it funny that he's trying to persuade you in his position. Something inside of you decides to give him a break, or the lack of something inside of you. You sit on his lap facing him, pushing your hole against his tip. A soft groan leaves his mouth, he leans in to smell your scent, his hips rut up at your smell.
His cock pokes its way inside of you, the slight sting of him splitting you open making you tremble. You bounce yourself up and down on his dick, clenching and tightening around him. He wants to put his hands on you, give you a few marks to claim you as his territory. The only thing stopping him from doing that is this stupid belt. It turns him on so much though, you doing all you can to restrict him from his favorite thing.
His hips slam into yours with each bounce, his balls slapping your ass. The delicious sounds of sex fills his ears and it pushes him to the brink. He grits his teeth and flexes his thighs. A sign he's about to cum.
You can't let him do that though, he's been a brat to you all night. Poking fun at you and teasing you, doing anything he can to just piss you off. You pull off of him and plant a kiss on his lips, giving him a teasing glance.
How would the Hetalia Allies and Axis react if they learned that their 2p's are also in love with the same sweet female country reader as them?
America (Alfred F. Jones) vs 2p!America (Allen F. Jones)
1p!America: “WHAT “DUDE, NO WAY! That guy’s a total psycho! Babe, you can’t seriously— wait, you’re not actually into the bad-boy thing, right? RIGHT?!”
Instant panic + loud possessive mode. Starts dragging you to every burger joint, movie theater, and amusement park to prove he’s the fun one. Tries to one-up Allen by buying you increasingly ridiculous gifts (a giant teddy bear the size of a car, a private fireworks show, etc.).
2p!America: Smirks, sharpens his bat, and just quietly starts showing up wherever you are. Doesn’t say much, but the threatening aura aimed at Alfred is palpable. Might “accidentally” break into your house to leave roses with a single drop of blood on the petals “for the aesthetic.”
Outcome: Constant loud shouting matches in public. You’ll have to intervene before one of them actually swings.
England (Arthur Kirkland) vs 2p!England (Oliver Kirkland)
1p!England: Goes stiff, face turns red, then pale. “That… that pastel psychopath is in LOVE with you?! Love, he puts arsenic in cupcakes! Stay away from him!”
Immediately switches to overprotective gentleman mode: walks you home, checks your food for poison, tries (and fails) to ban Oliver from international meetings.
2p!England: “Poppet~ I heard my boring other self is trying to keep you all to himself! How dull~ Why don’t you come have tea with me instead? I baked strawberry scones just for you~” (They’re definitely drugged with something that makes you compliant.)
Outcome: Passive-aggressive tea parties where Arthur and Oliver smile sweetly while trying to murder each other with scones and insults. You’ll have to eat nothing until the cold war ends.
France (Francis Bonnefoy) vs 2p!France (François Bonnefoy)
1p!France: Dramatic gasp, hand over heart. “Mon dieu… that depressing chain-smoking disaster is trying to court you too?! Cherie, he doesn’t even believe in love!”
Doubles his romantic efforts: 100 roses become 1000, love letters become novels, suddenly every date is in a new European capital.
2p!France: Shrugs, lights another cigarette. “Whatever. If she picks the sparkly idiot, that’s her problem.” Secretly starts leaving you expensive wine, handwritten notes in perfect cursive, and single black roses. He’ll never admit he’s trying.
Outcome: Francis keeps flamboyantly wooing you in public while François broods in the shadows and sarcastically undermines Francis every chance he gets. The sexual tension is off the charts, and you’re stuck in the middle.
Canada (Matthew Williams) vs 2p!Canada (James Williams)
1p!Canada: Quietly devastated. “…Oh. Even my 2p likes you too… I guess I really am invisible, eh…”
Starts retreating into himself, apologizes for bothering you, and tries to “nobly” step aside.
2p!Canada: Shows up with an axe on his shoulder, wordlessly sits way too close to you, and glares at anyone (especially Matthew) who comes near. If Matthew tries to back off, James just mutters, “Good. Leave.” While possessively wrapping an arm around you.
Outcome: Matthew eventually snaps (quietly, but still a snap) and you get the rare sight of the two Canadas in a passive-aggressive (then fully aggressive) hockey fight over you. James will win physically, but Matthew guilt-trips everyone into feeling bad for him.
Starts cooking you elaborate meals, giving you traditional gifts, and trying to educate you on why the 2p version is a “bad influence.”
2p!China: Lazy grin, half-lidded eyes. “Hey cutie~ Wanna ditch the old man and come smoke with me? I’ll let you wear my tangzhuang~” Offers you questionable substances and constantly drapes himself over you like a clingy cat.
Outcome: Yao keeps trying to drag you away to museums and panda sanctuaries while Xiao keeps trying to drag you to underground clubs. You’ll be exhausted from the cultural whiplash.
Russia (Ivan Braginski) vs 2p!Russia (Viktor Braginski)
1p!Russia: Smile becomes scarily serene. “Oh… so my other self wants you too, da?”
Immediately becomes ten times more clingy and possessive in the most terrifyingly gentle way. “You will stay with me forever, won’t you, sunflower~?” Starts casually mentioning how many pipes he has.
2p!Russia: Cold, dead stare. Actively hates almost everyone and everything, including his 1p self. Silently begins eliminating any perceived competition (including Ivan) with brutal efficiency. Will straight-up tell you, “Choose him and I’ll break you both.”
Outcome: Pure horror movie vibes. Two terrifying Russians in a psychological (and possibly physical) death match over you. The other nations hold an emergency meeting titled “How do we save her without starting WW3.” Good luck.
North Italy (Feliciano Vargas) vs 2p!Italy (Luciano Vargas)
1p!Italy: Starts crying immediately. “Ve~ Why does the scary me want you too?! I just want to make you pasta and hold your hand, bello!”
Clings to your arm 24/7, whining and trying to out-cute Luciano.
2p!Italy: Knife-twirling, bloodlust smile. “Mine. I’m going to carve my name into anyone who touches her… starting with you, weakling.” Casually stabs the table when Feli gets too close to you. Leaves you bouquets of red roses soaked in (someone else’s) blood.
Outcome: Feliciano tries to win you over with endless affection and home-cooked meals. Luciano tries to win you over by murdering everyone who looks at you. You will be covered in tomato sauce on one side and blood on the other.
Germany (Ludwig Beilschmidt) vs 2p!Germany (Lutz Beilschmidt)
1p!Germany: Turns beet-red, then ice-cold. “That lazy, beer-soaked disaster thinks he can have you? Over my dead body.”
Starts enforcing strict schedules: 6:00 date with Ludwig, 6:30 self-defense training in case Lutz shows up.
2p!Germany: Grins, cracks open another beer, and just leans against the wall staring at you like prey. “Heh. She’s way too cute for that stick-in-the-mud.” Shows up shirtless, covered in scars, and offers to “protect” you in ways Ludwig would never.
Outcome: Ludwig tries to out-discipline Lutz; Lutz tries to out-slacker-bad-boy him. Ends with both of them drunk in your living room arguing over who gets to carry you to bed (they both do, awkwardly).
Japan (Kiku Honda) vs 2p!Japan (Kuro Honda)
1p!Japan: Extremely calm on the outside, internally having a meltdown. Politely but firmly starts occupying 100% of your time with tea ceremonies, garden walks, and quiet confessions.
“I would prefer if you did not speak to… the other me.”
2p!Japan: Cold, sadistic, and zero chill. Shows up in a black uniform, katana drawn, and speaks in a low monotone: “You belong to me now. Resist and I will make this painful.” Secretly writes terrifyingly beautiful horror-themed love letters in perfect calligraphy.
Outcome: Kiku tries to win you with refined grace and emotional restraint. Kuro tries to win you with psychological warfare and implied threats. You will never sleep peacefully again.
South Italy/Romano (Lovino Vargas) vs 2p!Romano (Flavio Vargas)
1p!Romano: Explosive jealousy. “That flamboyant bastard thinks he can steal mia bella?! I’ll kill him!”
Starts yelling, cursing in Italian, then immediately switches to flustered tsundere affection around you.
2p!Romano: Fashion-obsessed, possessive, and dramatic. “Darling~! Only I understand true beauty! Come here so I can dress you properly~” Kidnaps you for three-hour makeover sessions and threatens to stab anyone who ruins your outfit (especially Lovino).
Outcome: Both are screaming Italian divas fighting over who gets to spoil you more. One tries to feed you, the other tries to dress you. You will be stuffed with food and drowning in designer clothes against your will.
Spain (Antonio Fernández Carriedo) vs 2p!Spain (Andrés Fernández Carriedo)
1p!Spain: Sunshine smile freezes. “Churros… even my other self wants mi tomate pequeña?”
Becomes 1000% more clingy and affectionate, constantly hugging you and calling you pet names in public to mark territory.
2p!Spain: Dead-eyed, chain-smoking, and terrifyingly apathetic until it comes to you. “Touch her and you die slowly.” Starts leaving dead roses and broken guitar strings as “gifts.” Will actually murder someone without changing expression.
Outcome: Antonio tries to drown you in warmth and paella. Andrés lurks in the shadows ready to eliminate anything that moves near you. You now have a permanent cheerful bodyguard and a silent assassin stalker.
Prussia (Gilbert Beilschmidt) vs 2p!Prussia (Gilen Beilschmidt)
1p!Prussia: Loud cackling at first (“Ha! Even the emo version wants my girl? Kesesese~ too bad I’m awesome!”), then sudden insecurity when he realizes Gilen is actually serious. Starts showing off even harder — flexing, bragging, dragging you on “epic adventures.”
2p!Prussia: Extremely quiet, trembling intensity. Almost never speaks, but stares at you with desperate, haunted eyes. Leaves you tiny handmade gifts (carved wooden birds, pressed flowers) and follows you at a distance like a lost puppy that might bite.
Outcome: Gilbert tries to out-extrovert and out-awesome Gilen. Gilen just quietly exists in your personal space until you feel bad for him. Eventually Gilbert starts yelling at Gilen for “creeping you out,” and Gilen almost cries. You now have two traumatized Prussian brothers competing via completely opposite methods.
(You’re going to need therapy. And possibly witness protection. Run. Just run.)
America (Alfred F. Jones) General Relationship Headcanons
🍓When I remember I have free will and can do what I want, it's always a bad time for my blog. Anyway, hello, five remaining Hetalia fans!!! This was my FIRST fandom, actually fucking ever, so this kinda feels special for me. I don't expect much love for it, honestly, but I wanted to put it out there for myself. As for everyone else who follows me...... I'm like..... really sorry bro. I know I have other things to do, but I have a crush on Alfred Freedom Jones, and I need to get it out of my system right. neow.
TW: Discussions of death; I'm genuinely bullying this guy through 90% of these lol; references to American politics (sorry); Hetalia (yes this needs to be a tw)
Info: America x Reader; Gn!Reader; SFW; Hetalia x Reader
Word Count: 3k
-The United States of America. Yeah, alright, man, we get it.
-Good ol’ Alfred “Freedom” Jones is certainly an option, particularly since “freedom” is used rather liberally here. Whatever. Funny guy this one, elevator doesn’t quite go to the top floor, but he’s… sweet?
-Okay, okay, I’ll stop being an asshole. Alfie here has a big personality; he has to, of course, he’s the United States of Freaking America, how could he not? Best country in the world! (Sure.) Really, he could brag about himself for days on end and still be nowhere near finished.
-You’ve really gotta dismiss a lot of egoism with this one, and you’ve gotta have a lot of energy to keep up with him in that same thought. He’s, simply, a lot.
-He’s also maybe one of the most intelligent men you’ll ever meet, while equally being two sandwiches short of a picnic. He’s a goddamn pilot, for fucks sake, he’s got brains he just doesn’t like to use ‘em.
-Also, and I’m not sure if this is obvious yet, but he’s literally the United States of America. He’s got a lot going on.
-Romance, as might be expected, isn’t on this guy's radar. Definitely not with a human. C’mon, what do you take him as, some kinda weirdo anime trope? He knows what kinda moral issues pop up in that kinda power dynamic, he’s not that stupid.
-Lol.
-Y’know, he really doesn’t pay it much mind when he first starts feeling something for you. A little flutter in the stomach isn’t much. You were pretty, you were funny, he’s easy, whatever. No reason to get ahead of himself.
-He doesn’t realize he’s already tripped and fallen flat on his face in love with you, but don’t worry, the lights’ll turn on up there at some point.
-Now, it’s not uncommon for countries to have flings with humans or little fleeting crushes. With how long they’ve been around, most of them simply can’t avoid feeling a little something sometimes.
-It’s rarely ever more than fun, because they all know the end result. The human dies, they have to live with that for the rest of their miserably long existence. Human death isn’t something new, never will be surprising, but it’s never easy to lose someone they’ve created a connection with.
-Stupid as he may seem, Alfred doesn’t like that feeling much. Like a rock settled in his stomach, the closest thing to human depression he’ll ever get.
-But, he likes pretty girls and fast cars like any good American should. He allows himself to have fun, just… don’t let it get too deep.
-And, y’know, he’s been doing a lot better than his elders. Arthur’s lost more than his fair share of beloved humans, Francis loves his people to the point it nearly destroyed him more than once, but Alfred’s been doing good. Makes his connections, has his fun, and doesn’t think about it all that deeply.
-Ignorance is bliss, right?
-Yeah, that doesn’t work out too well for him in this case.
-For whatever reason, he just can’t avoid you. Your pretty little face always seems to be wherever he’s looking, and it’s driving him nearly mad. Moreso because he can’t seem to look away when it’s there.
-He closes his eyes, and he sees you behind their lids. He dreams about you when he goes to bed. He thinks about you when he’s bored and needs something to cheer him up. It’s always you, you, you.
-Boy, this love stuff isn’t for the weak, is it?
-Love stuff??
-Realization hits him like a truck, doomscrolling on his phone at 3 am. Is he in love? Like, really in love. Like, stupidly head over heels for you in love.
-He has to get up and do something when it hits, runs like twenty laps over and over just to think.
-Okay, so, he’s in love. Is that a bad thing? He could just ignore it.
-...
-…No, he can’t, he knows he can’t. He could try to, but a little tiny voice in his head is telling him that’s not the best idea. So what the hell does he do? He can’t be in love.
-In a very rare show of emotional intelligence (which he mostly lacks, sorry), he goes to Arthur in an even more rare case of vulnerability.
-He expects Arthur to berate him, or mock him, god knows he would do it. But Arthur doesn’t. There’s no snark or sass, more than his usual, at least, it’s gentle the way he handles him. Were it any other situation, Alfred might’ve found it insulting.
-The guy's been a goddamn global menace since his founding. He wasn’t some weak loser; he was a superpower. One of the most powerful, destructive countries in the world.
-Yet here he was, stuck in his head on his brother's couch like he was still that little kid from the 1700s. Because for once in his life, Alfred has to sit and think about something, and he’s not too good at doing that.
-Arthur knows the whole deal by this point. He’s loved too many humans to count, and he’s buried each of them with just as much care as he loved them. Doesn’t make it easy, especially if it's your first time in about 250 years of living.
-Gentleness isn’t really either of their styles, but it’s almost… nice, the talk they have. The way Arthur lays everything out to him so plainly, how good it feels to experience that kind of love. The kind that isn’t eternal, it’s not going to be there for the rest of his life, but when it is, it’s wonderful in a way words can’t describe. The pain he’ll feel when he loses you to time, the importance of remembering, always remembering.
-It’s kind of eye-opening to good ol’ Al. He’s never been one for those kinds of deep connections. Hell, the deepest connection he has (that isn’t some kinda familial) is with a guy his government dropped a bomb on. He’s good with planes, with guns, with fighting… not with feelings.
-But the way Arthur describes it, it almost sounds nice. Natural. Like some kind of dream come true. He likes the sound of it, but he’s still not sure of himself.
-Imagine that, an unconfident America. Sounds almost laughable, but even he can be a little nervous sometimes.
-He thinks it over for a little while, wondering if it was worth it in the end. Knowing that it would inevitably end in heartbreak, something he’s notoriously bad at handling.
-Yet, when you smile at him from across the room, he already knows the answer.
-How silly of him to be so caught up in this kind of thing. He was the United States of Freaking America; he always listened to his gut, and his gut knew what it wanted right now.
-So, he listens, and he tells you in no uncertain terms that he’s gonna take you out and treat you nice. Even more certain when he tells you you’re gonna love it so much you’ll be thinking about him ‘til heaven comes.
-There’s not an inch of doubt on his face when he does so, all confidence and pride. It’s hard to say no to him when he’s just so eager to please, and so you don’t.
-Now, Alfred is a really weird guy, whole personification thing aside. He does what he wants, and he gets what he wants, which leads to him being a bit… mmm… pushy? He’s not really used to respecting boundaries, or listening, or behaving, or… anything really.
-Simply put: he’s a brat.
-You gotta force him to stop, literally sometimes. Grab him by his shoulders and say, “Alfred, chill out.”
-He’s too overeager about all this “being in love” stuff, and he kinda full-throttles into it without thinking of what that’ll look or feel like for you. He’s riding a high, like he usually is, and he needs you to pull him down to earth and show him how to take it at an easy pace.
-It makes him antsy at first; he likes going full speed without looking back, but when you get him to slow down a bit, he kind of realizes… oh, this is actually nice? He notices little things he’d normally miss, like the way your eyes crinkle when you smile, or how your laugh kind of reminds him of a songbird. Was living life full speed really making him miss so much?
-Yes, Alfred, yes, it was.
-Now he doesn’t suddenly become a patient person; that’s just never what he’s going to be, but he’s able to appreciate things a bit more with you around. Maybe it's just the fact that you’re there, and he loves you and wants to savor every moment with you, but he finds himself appreciating things a little more closely than he might normally.
-He tends to be pretty inconsiderate of you and your feelings, not on purpose, but because he doesn’t really think outside of himself often. He’ll just do things for you or without asking beforehand, and then get confused when you’re upset with him for it.
-However, he really wants to do things right, so in a particularly uncharacteristic move, he tries to correct his behavior as quickly as possible.
-You are probably the only thing in the world that can get him to behave other than his obligation to the US government. He doesn’t like upsetting you, doesn’t like it when you tell him off, so he listens to you like the good boy he is.
-He’s fairly busy, even if he seems airheaded; he’s constantly going and going and going thanks to his position dealing with different things for the government. He seems to have a never-ending supply of energy, he thought so too, but… well…
-You and he come to find out he doesn’t. Actually, he’s really fucking burnt out.
-Only realizes how bad about 250 years of non-stop going, spreading, and doing things has been on him when he comes home after a particularly exhausting meeting. His head was kinda hurting, his shoulders were tense, and he just wanted to sit on the couch and flip through shitty cable reruns until he melted away.
-Then he sees you, also tired and rushing around, worrying over what you wanted to eat when you didn’t want to cook. You smile at him, and you ask if he just wants to order out, and by God, he nearly melts to the floor.
-Pathetic as a wet dog as he lays his head on your lap, eating a copyright-friendly burger, you doordashed him while watching crime shows from the early 2000s like the lil champ he is.
-Genuinely so weak to your whims and wants, he’ll do whatever he’s asked. Well, not really, if he really doesn’t wanna do it, he’ll tell you outright he won’t be doing it. But I feel like that's surprisingly rare from someone as stubborn as him.
-He likes to see you happy, and even more so, his selfish ass likes it when you praise him for doing things you like. Even if it’s just a “this restaurant is really nice!” or “your jacket is super warm, thank you,” his tail is wagging.
-Now, Alfred, as one might expect, is a provider in the fullest use of the terms. He likes to be the one and only person you rely on for just about anything.
-He, whether you like it or not, is the breadwinner. He has no end of money he can spend how he pleases, not that he really ever tends to need to use it. Y’know, countries are paid a lot of money, but it really doesn’t mean much of anything in the end cause they’re also usually provided with whatever the hell they want. Materially, at least.
-You’re kind of his excuse to use it, lol.
-He likes to impress you with the things he can buy for you, and for a while, he thought that was fulfilling enough in the relationship. If you so much as looked at something for a little too long, he’d buy it for you, because he can do that, because he has the money to do it. Isn’t he cool? (Sure, bub)
-He doesn’t even care much if you use half of the things he gets you. God knows he doesn’t use most of his shit, he only wants you to have it so he can say he got it for you. Besides, isn’t it better to have it and only need it sometimes than not have it when you need it? Mmm.
-If you’re very adamant, and I mean very adamant, about him not spending so much on you, he’ll cut back. But like, he’ll still be buying you things he thinks you’ll like. It’s hard to stop the ultimate gift-giver from getting you gifts.
-Along this same line of thinking, though, Alfred is pretty physical. Which I think is obvious, considering how he acts in the show and the manga.
-Most of his physical affection is kind of rough, more like you’re one of the guys rather than his partner. He also doesn’t know his own strength, so often he’s literally suffocating you when he pulls you in for a bear hug. He’s an excited guy, and he loves to touch and hold his friends, so of course, he wants to hold you tight.
-He’s really not good at intimacy, at least not when he initiates it.
-He’s too big, too rough, too loud, too much. He knows it, and he really doesn’t mind those labels; it’s what makes him, him.
-Yet, with you, he finds himself wishing he were a little more like his brother. Quiet, gentle, all the things he’s really not. He feels guilty that he doesn’t know how to be loving and sappy in the way you see in all those romance movies.
-You’ve gotta reassure him that’s okay, because you’re with him for him, not for some guy that doesn’t exist outside of his head.
-And it’s not as if he can’t be intimate and enjoy loving moments with you. He can, he just doesn’t realize that he can.
-Intimacy with Alfred is watching movies and laughing about how bad they are, or crying because they’re such emotional hard hitters, and you guys feel okay crying in each other's arms over movies like that. Or it’s naps on the couch after long days where neither of you has the energy to think about anything other than holding one another. Or it’s even the way he makes a fool out of himself just to make you smile when you’re feeling down, because the only thing worse than him having a bad day is you having a bad day, and he can’t have that.
-These are all things that come naturally to him, and because they’re natural, he doesn’t think they’re special. Doesn’t think it's enough for you, but it is. It always was, and always will be.
-Believe it or not, Alfred tends to get rather jealous often. He doesn’t like to share your attention, and he will pout if you’re giving it to anyone for an extended period of time when it should be on him.
-He’s not entirely unreasonable, he doesn’t care much when it's your friends or his family, (unless it’s like obvious they’re interested). But when charmers like Feliciano or Antonio come at you with sweet words, knowing who you’re with. Kinda grinds his gears.
-Don’t worry, he’s easy (enough) to placate, just keep giving him attention, and he’ll crack eventually. What a loser.
-He tends to keep you and his work life separate, though. Proud as he is to be America, you don’t really have any business dealing with the things he does. Sometimes you’ll hear him complain about a particularly annoying day, but he tries his best not to let it bleed into your home life.
-Also, like, super protective. Constantly acting like a giant shield between you and anything he finds threatening. Particularly paparazzi, because you can’t avoid them even if he wishes you could, but also small things like the angry little Samoyed his neighbors keep, or the sun when it hurts your eyes.
-God forbid something actually happen to you. He’s always trigger-happy, but it's better that the world doesn’t find out what targeting his significant other will do.
-Last thing I want to acknowledge is, as I’ve vaguely referenced, is his family. They’re a mess, but very important to good ol’ Alfie, even if he won’t admit it.
-I personally fall in line with the idea that his family is France, England, Canada, and Seychelles, all of whom he loves quite a lot, even if that love doesn’t manifest normally. Countries are different than humans, after all.
-Being that Mattie is so close in relation, he introduces you to him first, and thank god he does because Mattie’s actually the only one willing to warn you about just how weird the other three are (other than Seychelles, she’s pretty normal actually).
-The family dynamic is more like watching various types of verbal abuse rapid fire across the room, which explains a lot about why Alfred is the way he is, but it’s pretty funny once you get used to it.
-What’s really important is that you get along with them. Very well. They’re very open and accepting of you, particularly Arthur, who can’t stop thanking you for putting up with America’s bullshit every day.
-They also like to get you random gifts. Usually, souvenirs or cute little trinkets, things you don’t really need, but it’s their way of showing they like you. It always seems to make Alfred smile when you put them on display, so it’s not so bad, right?
-Truthfully, Alfred is a bit of a weirdo, but he’s sweet, and he’s really honest with you. Maybe he’s not for everyone; he’s not for most people, but who he is for, he really is for.
-Treat him well, he loves you a lot more than you’ll ever know.
Hii! I'd love to know your take on how the hetalia allies (axis too maybe if it's not asking too much, if not is okay!!) would react to their crush flirting with them in a subtle way! Not with comments but with the way they look at them, friendly touches and gestures, etc <333
I've had this one sitting in the drafts for a WHILE. Hope you enjoy! Let me know if you want this for any of the other characters, and I'll see if/when I can get to them.
Reacting to Subtle Flirting ~ aph Allies & Axis
America
Alfred is a sweetheart, but the guy is absolutely not above teasing the heck out of you when he picks up on what you're doing. He may be a little dense, but he's no fool in this regard. If you place your hand on his, he'll immediately shoot you a smirk. One that makes you wonder what's going on behind those deep, blue eyes. If your hand rests on his arm, he'll give you a knowing, cocky grin.
"You lost, little lady?" He'll lean in, wondering if this is the right time to make a bold move and try to kiss you.
However, if you were to move slightly beyond subtle flirting and play with his hair, or outright lean on his shoulder, dude will straight up melt. For the latter, he'd casually wrap an arm around your shoulders, but internally he'd be shouting with joy.
Russia
Ivan isn't as well-versed when it comes to flirting, but he'd definitely suspect something is up when he notices your newly acquired behavior patterns. Especially if you touch his hand or arm. Ivan's face goes bright red as he isn't sure how to respond. And if he likes you in return, he'd be internally screaming, trying to figure out what to say or do. He really wants to reciprocate, but doesn't want to scare you off. He's well aware of how intimidating he can be.
Though, to be fair, if she truly thought I was intimidating, she wouldn't be flirting with me, yes? Ivan thinks to himself. Once he connects the dots, he'll be a little more receptive. Perhaps even reciprocating with a light pat on the head and a warm, shy smile across his face.
England
Though very much aware of what you are doing, Arthur will purposely feign ignorance for the sake of seeing if he can frustrate you. He finds it amusing. If you shoot him a flirty look, he'll lean in towards you as if for a kiss, only to ask if he has something in his teeth. If you place a hand on his, he'll simply ask if your hands are cold. Afterward, he'll take your hand in both of his to warm it up. All with a ridiculous smirk on his face. It takes everything he has not to chuckle when he sees how red your face gets.
Is Arthur a gentleman? Yes, absolutely. But that won't stop him from choosing to deliberately mess with you, especially if the two of you already have an established friendship. Hey, Alfred had to get it from somewhere, right?
France
Not only does Francis immediately pick up on what you are doing, but he will do the same back to you. You give him a sweet, longing look? He'll respond with a wink, his gaze flicking between your eyes and lips. You move closer to him? He'll lazily drape an arm around your shoulders. You place a hand on his arm? He'll reach out and grab your hand, possibly even ghosting a faint kiss along your knuckles. Man knows what he's doing. ;)
He wants to see how much longer this will go before one of you snaps and begins to passionately make out with the other. Or ask the other out on a date. You know, one or the other. Or perhaps both?
China
He finds it a little silly, to be honest. He'd rather someone skip the frivolities and instead say what they are feeling outright. Yao would likely roll his eyes at such gestures, coming across as bored and aloof—possibly even annoyed. Though the redness on his cheeks says otherwise, betraying any sense of irritation. No, under the surface, he secretly enjoys these little shows of affection. But without being in an established relationship, he's a little uncertain how to respond. Especially if such a scene is being played out in public.
In private, however, he may feel more inclined to respond. Giving you a curious glance from the corner of his eye, as though challenging you to move further. At some point, he may finally snap and outright ask you out. How this plays out afterward is up to you.
Germany
Absolute blushing mess. The way you look at him across the room prompts his heart to start hammering in his chest. When the two of you talk later, the way your hand ghosts over his hand or arm leaves him wondering if you're just being quirky or if you're genuinely looking for something more. I mean, he thinks it's flirting. But what if it isn't?
Sorry to be potentially boring here, but Ludwig is the kind of man where subtle flirting such as this won't totally work. If anything, the man may come out of the interaction more confused and anxious than ever. If you're interested in this man, you gotta just come right out and say it.
Japan
He won't pick up on it at first, but if you keep at it, he'll eventually tune in to what you're doing. His response would actually be quite similar to Yao's, in that he won't initially respond, especially if it's in public. However, in private, Kiku will be a little more receptive, though a blushing mess all the same. At the end of the day, he's more partial to simply holding hands and nothing more, and he'd try to keep it that way for the time being.
Italy
Feliciano would be fairly quick to pick up on what you're doing. And instead of simply just flirting back, the man will straight up ask you out right there on the spot. While certainly skilled in the art of flirtation, once he gets wind that his beloved little crush may be taking a shine to him, he'd like to expedite the process.
"Tell me, bella, would you fancy a date with me? Just the two of us?" He asks as he takes your hand, amber eyes staring straight into yours.
And while he doesn't mean to embarrass you, Feliciano can't help but adore the way your face goes red the second he asks this question.
