2010s Eurovision: 355-351
355. Donny Montell - “Love is blind”
Lithuania 2012
While Donny Demontell was markedly less insufferable in his twinkarnation, I still found him pretty annoying lol. He’s such a ham-fisted attentionmonger who thinks he’s hot shit. 🙄 and guess what, he totally isn’t? Of course he had to resort to doing a cartwheel and OMFG THAT FUCKING AIR GUITAR IS BURNT FOREVER ON MY RETINA ugh, I wish *I* had been blind during this ordeal. 🤮
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354. 3+2 ft Robert Wells - “Butterflies”
Belarus 2010
“ZOMG BUTTERFLY WINGS!!!” I don’t *care* okay. If you go literal in the most lifeless way possible, you’re just starved for good staging ideas. “Butterflies” is an average-run-the-mill Sovbot ballad, with zero personality, mediocre vocals and a literal (ie: unoriginal) gimmick. AND qualified, in doing so destroying the miraculous wonder of ~Kuunkuiskaajat~. Unacceptable!!!
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353. Dalal & Deen ft. Ana Rucner and Jala - “Ljubav je”
Bosnia & Herzegovina 2016
One of the biggest diseases in postmodern Eurovision is Meaningitis. A lot of countries feel like they are supposed to slap on random Socially Relevant Critique onto their entries haphazardly. “Ljubav je” is one of the more egregious examples where a fairly generalist message of love and humanitarianism was transformed into a naggy refugee crisis pamphlet. 🙄 Underscored with barbed wire and foil blankets.
But of course, this by itself wasn’t enough for Bosnia, so they also made a DESPERATE grab at BDex. Now, I am aware Nina deserved to win it, but I voted for Bosnia and I have zero regrets whatsoever. It was ugly and so are they. 😞Ana Rucner’s “outfit” alone. This frontal assault to the visual senses was SUPEREFFECTIVE (in making me dislike them :)
(having said all that, while i DISlike “Ljubav je” overall, props to Jala for one of the few instances of kick ass White Guy Rapping in Eurovision :) Too bad it’s wasted on this shitstorm of an entry tho 😞)
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352. Magdalena Tul - “Jestem”
Poland 2011
For some reason, I have a feeling that Madgalena Tul has fans and... I can’t really see why? “Jestem” is pretty dope in studio version, but the live. 😬 A lot of disembodied voices and bad camera angles and it sucks all of the life it couldn’t had. I suppose it’s apt that this was also the FIRST live perfomance in all of 2011. Great way to set up three nights of major disappointment.
Though recently I heard Magdalena became semi-relevant again, when she turned up at Eurovision in Concert, where she proceeded to absolutely butcher “To nie ja”. 🙃
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351. Srbuk - “Walking out”
Armenia 2019
The Armenian Magdalena. Srbuk showed all the promise in the world, which she continued to show with an intense treatise on domestic violence, but the actual live... You were supposed to be strong, Srbuk, WHERE WAS YOUR POWER??? 😭 WE BELIEVED IN WE ALL BELIEVED IN YOU -- BorisBanks
I don’t even know what else to add about Srbuk, honestly? Armenia provided NO staging (zomg shot of an empty arena!! no one curr, don’t you understand how immersion and cinematic tension work? Apparently not.), poor diction (you can barely make out what she sings), weak pinched voice (+ a DISASTROUS high note), NEGATIVE CHARISMA (I just feel she’s permanently irate?), not to mention the general death-by-wideshotness that ran rampant in 2019. A complete failure and a massive disappointment. Gtfo my ranking plz.