There’s some dreams what I never haven’t told about to anyone, but I feel now is the time. I apologize if this disturbs some of you, but here goes;
There are times when I see dreams about my father chasing me in our old home, in attempt to rape me. I always run either in my room or bathroom but always, ALWAYS the doors won’t shut or the lock doesn’t work. I wake up before he gets me. Last night in another dream... I didn’t wake up before he caught me. After he raped me in the dream I remember holding a phone and saying to my little brother; “I wish I would have my neighbor’s number (man) so that I could text him to call the cops.” I then heard that father was going to come upstairs because with me and my bro there was another female upstairs. I don’t know who she was, but I knew I needed to protect her. I took a bench and saw myself walking at the top of the stairs, ready to throw it at dad, making him fall down the stairs and die. Then I woke up. After these dreams I always feel so horrible, so shitty, so dirty, so disgusted etc. It took me about 2 hours before I somehow managed to go back to sleep. I have no clue where these dreams comes from since dad has never try anything. Only thing what he did was yell because he was constantly angry, but that is honestly all. I’ve been starting to think that perhaps these are something from past lives? Maybe I have had a life where I have been molested by my father. Who knows. I just wish these dreams would stop. I don’t get them all that often, but still. I could live without them.
Anyway, I had other dream too;
In next dream I was in some two leveled room (only few stairs kept them apart from being on same level) and @blood-and-pepper came there to me, starting to tell me something about some monster which was heading there. On the lower level was 2 long tables and bit further away from each other in line and at the back of the room was 2 smaller tables side by side, leaving room for walking between them. They all were set so nicely and all tables had different colored chairs. One had black and some had white etc.. I was trying to count how many candles I need for each table but she got me confused with her monster talking, ahah! Anyway I then remembered Edward (from Fullmetal Alchemist) had fought against some monster which had similar alchemy code (or whatever it’s called) so he could easily bring this monster down by using alchemy.
I then was at my old home at the old field what we used to grow potatoes. There was huge naked man figure (like a titan) and it shrank to normal human’s size looking down at the Edward, who was a bit older now, laying on the ground, his hair open. Edward had managed to use alchemy on the “monster / man” and it was killing him, but Edward also had suffered. Only thing left of him was his naked torso and right arm cut in half which was human arm. His left arm was gone. He had deep and long cut from the arm towards the chest and his shoulder had yellow eye (I don’t know why). The monster man chuckled panting as he whispered to Edward; “You are dying too.”
To this Edward said; “Normally yes, but my body heals since it’s a human body.” and yes, all his wounds started to heal, his right arm growing together, his lower body also starting to grow. I remember how the view lowered showing Ed’s hip bones as a femur slammed on it’s place from the sky, muscles starting to grow around it while knee and leg bones also fell on their places. Even that Ed still hadn’t all muscles grown around the leg he was able to use it and kick the guy with it which then killed the guy. There was mysterious yellow glow around his knee bone so I assume the yellow eye on his shoulder allowed him to move his bones without muscles.
I have no idea about this dream either, but this is second dream in a short time where is Edward. Apparently Ed has a message to me. I need to think it more what it could be, but the first thing what comes in my mind is that “never give up” since that’s what Ed does.
