#30s!bucky

[buck-buck-boose]

I’ll Love You ‘Til I Die

Masterlist

Summary: A Brooklyn schoolgirl fell in love with James Buchanan Barnes at the tender age of nine. With this love she made a vow, promising to love him until her very last breath.

Pairing: Bucky x OFC

Warnings: Language and mild mild mild suggestiveness

Word Count: 2.6k

Author’s Note: A little transition chapter for y’all

Chapter Twelve: The Correspondences

During Lottie’s three years in nursing school, she kept in touch with her best friends as much as possible. It was difficult, of course, because on both sides, life tended to get in the way of things. While her affection for the boys was pure and deep, she prioritized her studies in order to shape herself into the best nurse she could be. The following excerpts are just a few of the many correspondences amongst these friends over the course of her nursing school career.

September 10, 1938

Dear Bucky,

I hope this letter finds you well, as it is leaving me quite poorly. It’s only the first day of classes and I’m feeling like a real dip. In Elementary Bacteriology, the professor was cold calling the students and he asked me asked me what caused the pneumonic, bubonic, and septicemic plagues. I had no clue and I was left gaping like a fish out of water! How embarrassing! I did enjoy the rest of his lecture, though. I’m really keen on Anatomy; the lecture was absolutely fascinating. James Buchanan Barnes, I can already hear you snickering about my enjoyment of Anatomy.

The other girls in my residence hall are so lovely! I share a hall with nine other girls; I’m closest with three: Gladys, Helen, and dear Ruthie. Bucky, I know you’d get a real kick out of Helen; she swears like a sailor and could come pretty close to out-drinking you. Ruthie’s been fawning over Steve’s landscape sketches. Could you convince him to send one I can give her for Christmas? Gladys is a real sensible girl, she’ll probably be top of our class. She said she’d study with me, so maybe I’ll make it to graduation!

How’s Brooklyn? Do tell me everything. I hope it hasn’t devolved into chaos in my absence. I hope you and Steve are staying out of trouble, or at least trying to. I hope to hear from you soon.

Yours,

Sincerely,

Lottie

September 15, 1938

Little Lottie,

Brooklyn’s absolutely miserable without you; the weather’s real gloomy here and it’s been raining nonstop lately. I know you’ll probably say some shit stuff about how the smell of rain in the autumn is so calming and the puddles on the pavement make the city lights all lovely, but frankly, working in the rain is hardly enjoyable. If it wasn’t for this nice jacket, I’d probably be dead of pneumonia by now. But knowing you, you’d cross state lines with a crate of penicillin before that could happen.

I’m glad you’re enjoying your classes, they seem awful interesting. I know you’ll catch up with your classmates in no time; you’ve always been a solid student. With your savvy, you could learn anything, honest. Even if you’re not aces at that bacteriology stuff, other subjects are just as important. And you know, it’s only natural that girls your age get real interested in anatomy. I should know from experience.

Steve just violently assaulted me for that last sentence; I think I need your assistance down here immediately to deal with the blow I received to my head.

How’s the dance hall scene out there? I bet they aren’t as rip-snorting as the ones down here in good old Brooklyn. Dance with as many fellas as you want, but make sure to save a dance for me and Steve.

JBB

December 17, 1938

Dear Lottie,

I hope you’re keeping warm during the winter up north and that you’ve got good spirits. That would make one of us. I’ve come down with something again, so I haven’t gotten out much. Buck usually comes by with some soup and medicine, but there’s not much he can do.

He hasn’t been faring well, I can tell. But it’s not the sort of thing that can be easily fixed, you know? He’s been stopping by your old tenement a lot; he likes to sit on the fire escape and smoke. No one’s moved into it yet, but he’s gonna get chased off one of these days. He’ll sit up there for hours at a time, I think. Maybe you could write him something sweet to cheer him up? I don’t know, you girls are better at this sort of thing than I am.

When does your winter break end? I heard you passed your fall exams with flying colors, so I bet you’re real prepared for spring semester. Even so, you need your rest till then. I hope it gets real snowy up there for you; Bucky mentioned something about how you like walking around in the snow because it’s all romantic. Another girl thing I don’t quite get. I’d never thought of freezing my ass off as romantic.

I hope you have a merry Christmas. Bucky and I are going to get together for a little celebration and we’ll make sure to sing some carols in your honor. It’ll probably sound real bad, since you’re the real canary out of the three of us.

Your friend,

Steve

February 5, 1939

Bucky,

I saw an advertisement for the New York World’s Fair that’s opening in April and I just had to write to you about it! I bet you’d have a real swell time if you went. I’m awful sorry that I wouldn’t be there to tag along, but tell me all about it. Please.

Sometimes I feel like I’m missing out on so much with you two. It’s already been what, eight months since I last saw you two? It feels like it’s been years already. I miss you so much. I miss you two to bits. Keep checking on Steve, will you? He wrote to me around Christmas about how he was coming down with something, tell him to keep getting lots of fluids and staying warm.

Exciting news! This semester I’ve been training in the hospital. So far, it’s been focused on hospital housekeeping, but it’s so thrilling. I get to wear my student nurse uniform and help out on the floors that I’m assigned to! Everything I learned last semester is starting to pop up in the practicals they assign me. In my lectures, I’ve been learning about more advanced bacteriology and treatment of disease. Exciting to hear about, I know.

Do you have any St. Valentine’s Day plans? Got a special woman in your life? Me and the girls are going to go dancing; Helen will probably dance the night away with some dreamboat, Ruthie’ll be swept off her feet by the sweetest guy there, and Gladys and I will probably hang back by the bar. If I can’t have you as my partner, what’s the point in dancing?

Sincerely,

Lottie

P.S. I thought Steve was joking about the self portraits you’d send— the girls on my hall won’t stop pestering me to have a look at them.

Lottie attached a photograph to the letter— she stood outside of the hospital, dressed in her student nurse uniform. She wore a crisp white pinafore apron with a starched collar and cuffs; the hose she wore were black, paired with sturdy black Mary Janes. Her usually loose curls were pulled back into a tight bun, with a folded white hat secured on her head.

Bucky wasn’t sure why, but he treasured the photo; he kept it tucked in his wallet. It was nothing really, an unsmiling photograph of her in uniform, but it was the only photograph he had of her. He could never forget the curve of her neck or the arch of her brow, but it didn’t hurt to have a photograph to help him imprint it in his memory.

Once Bucky realized that he was beginning to crease the photograph from folding and unfolding it so much, he left it on his bedside table. As he fell asleep each night, he looked at the photograph; he just wanted to make sure that he wouldn’t forget what she looked like. There was no other reason for him to gaze at it so fondly.

February 9, 1939

Little Lottie,

My Ma, Becca, and you are the only special women in my life. I’ve got no plans for St. Valentine’s Day, and that’s completely fine by me. Steve and I might go out to dance as well, but we’ll probably just end up going to the movies instead.

I’ll make sure to bring a camera to the World’s Fair, alright? You’ll get loads of photographs from us, you won’t know what to do with them. It won’t be the same without you, though. Who else is going to rag on me and Steve when we waste all our train money on food? And complain about how much we have to walk?

Don’t let anything hold you back from dancing on St. Valentine’s Day. I’m sure you’ll have a line around the block of guys waiting to ask you to dance. You’ve got to let yourself have a little bit of fun because that nursing stuff sounds damn really stressful. If it gets too stressful and you need someone to break you out of there, Steve and I’ll be there in a heartbeat.

Don’t have too much fun dancing with those Massachusetts guys, though. They haven’t got a thing on us Brooklyn boys.

JBB

July 4, 1939

Steve,

Happy birthday! They’ve been shooting off fireworks and firecrackers all day and I could only think of you. I wish we could watch this sort of view from the roof of Bucky’s tenement. I miss spending your birthday all together. But worry not, I’ll watch the fireworks tonight and pretend I’m sitting in between you and Bucky on some Brooklyn rooftop.

I heard that you two were planning on going to the Science Fiction convention today. Let me know how it went, I really hope it was swell. All the exhibits about the world of tomorrow must be so fascinating! Though I doubt it’s very easy to understand how all of the inventions they’ve got there work. What gifts have you received for your birthday? Bucky was joking about how he wanted to get you a pair of boxing gloves. I’m sending you a set of oil paints; my apologies for the fact that they’re secondhand. A girl on my hall dabbled in art but didn’t quite like the look of her oil paintings. They’re hardly used, I promise.

I also wanted to write to you about something that’s been worrying me, Steve. I haven’t even told Bucky about it; I think he’d just think it’s silly. The war in Europe is really starting to scare me. Should America really be neutral in this? What happens if Germany gets out of control? Sorry, this is probably all unnecessary, but I’ve been all nerves about this recently. I know this is selfish, but I’m terrified of being involved in a war. Yes, I want to become a nurse, but gosh, the thought of tending to battlefield wounds shakes me to the core. of course, I’ll do whatever is asked of me, but what if I can’t handle it? I haven’t even finished my schooling yet. I pray that nothing comes of it.

Sorry if that put a damper your birthday mood.

Yours,

Lottie

January 1, 1940

Little Lottie,

Last night marked our second New Year’s Eve without you. Steve and I had an extra glass of cider each in your honor. We sure missed your special New Years’ cake you used to make. My Ma tried to make one like it, but hers could never top yours. Don’t tell her I said that, though. I had my Ma take a picture of me and Steve to send to you. Check the envelope.

You’re halfway done with nursing school now, aren’t you? Gosh, every time you write about what you’re studying or doing in your practicals, Steve and I feel like real lame-brains. You’re out there cramming for your exams— and acing them —while we’re just bums who work all day. It’d be real nice to go to school for something someday, but with the depression and all, I’ve got to focus on making money for my family.

Speaking of work, my boss has been real keen on me lately; I think I might get a promotion soon. Maybe with a bit of extra cash, Steve and I could come up to visit you soon. How would that sound? We don’t want to impose of course, but we’ve got to see our best girl sometime soon.

JBB

In the envelope, there was a grainy photograph. Bucky had his arm thrown around Steve, mid-laugh. His tie was loosened with his shirt sleeves pushed up to his elbows; the picture of nonchalance with his messy hair and casual clothing. All at once, she was reminded of how handsome he was. And how much she missed his laugh. Oh that charming, enthusiastic laugh of his. And then there was Steve. His warm smile was directed at the camera; he seemed to know that Lottie would be receiving the photograph, the smile he had on was just for her. Lottie’s heart ached for them; her best, truest friends. She longed for their companionship, their banter, and their affections.

Bucky did get the promotion he was hoping for. Two weeks later, his mother slipped on ice while walking home from the grocery store. She’d fractured a bone in the incident; Bucky’s wages were spent on hospital bills. Neither Steve nor Bucky ever came to visit.

March 10, 1940

Bucky,

Gosh, you’re getting old, aren’t you? Twenty-three years old. Well you’re nearly ancient, now. Despite your age, I hope you’ve had a wonderful birthday. Were you able to do anything special? I know money’s been tight recently, but you still deserve a special day. I wish I could send you a cake, but I seriously doubt that it would survive the postal service.

There should be a package coming for you soon, though. Nothing too excited, just a few science fiction and fantasy novels I thought you’d enjoy. It’s not much, but I thought you’d enjoy them.

I’m terribly sorry, but it seems I have very little time for letter-writing these days. My studies have become increasingly vigorous as I prepare for the end of this semester. Then it will only be one year left. How daunting!

My apologies for the brevity of this letter. Happy birthday again, Bucky.

Sincerely,

Lottie

November 28, 1940

Hello Boys,

I just wanted to write to the two of you to express how thankful I am for the two of you. I can never thank you enough for the support you’ve given me throughout my time here in nursing school. I know it’s been hard to keep up with each other at times, but that’s alright, we’ve been able to get through it just fine.

Exams are right around the corner and then it’ll be just one more semester of school. I’m still not sure of where I’ll work after I graduate and get licensed. Please bear with me as I try to figure that out. My Pa is going to visit Brooklyn soon and see if he can find any other employment.

Bucky, tell your Ma and Becca that I say hello. And give them my thanks for dealing with you in my absence; you can be quite a handful sometimes.

I’m thinking of you both. Always and forever.

Your Lottie

May 5, 1941

A letter addressed to Mr. Steven G. Rogers and Mr. James B. Barnes:

The Faculty and Graduating Class of the Cooley Dickinson Hospital School of Nursing request the honor of your presence at the Thirty-Eighth Annual Commencement Exercises June first to June sixth, Nineteen Hundred and Forty-One.

[buck-buck-boose]

I’ll Love You ‘Til I Die

Summary: In which Lottie Green makes a vow to James Buchanan Barnes in her childhood. Against all odds, she kept that vow.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OFC

Warnings: very very very mild suggestiveness?

Word Count: 2.2k

Author‘s Note: Another one! Please let me know what you guys think!

Chapter Three: The Birthday

August 25, 1930

Lottie rose with the sun on the morning of her tenth birthday, a thrill of excitement jolting through her body to wake her up. Before she left her room, she pulled on her newest flour sack dress, with its blue and white floral design, puff sleeves, and rounded collar. Clad in her dress, with her feet squeezed into her Mary Janes, she stepped out of her room and into the main room of the apartment.

She was met with a view of her mother and father sitting side by side at the table, her mother’s head resting on her father’s shoulder. It was a scene that Lottie rarely saw— she was usually the last one awake in the house, so her father was usually headed off to work by the time she came into the kitchen.

“Good morning Ma, good morning Pa,” she greeted, coming up behind each of them to kiss them on their cheeks.

“Well good morning Lottie-Love, aren’t you the early bird this morning? Your Pa and I made you some milk toast; the pot of milk on the stove should still be hot,” her mother turned to look at her, smiling at her fondly.

“Thanks Ma, thanks Pa!” Lottie grinned, scooping some toast pieces from a plate and into a bowl and pouring some hot milk from the stove over them. She relished in the sweetness of the cinnamon and sugar; it was a treat that she rarely got to experience.

“You know, Lottie, I’ve been picking up extra shifts at the restaurant and working real hard recently. I wanted to treat you to a real nice birthday, so I’ve got somethin’ for you,” her father said, pulling a package from beneath his chair.

At the sight of the brown paper package, tears began to prick in Lottie’s eyes. She’d never expected a present from her parents on her birthday; they’d stressed the importance of maintaining financial stability because of the depression. She accepted the package from her father, tearing the paper carefully. Inside was a box, where a pair of white t-strap Mary Janes were nestled. The oncoming tears were now trickling down her cheeks; she’d endured so many blisters in silence because of her old Mary Janes, these new shoes were big enough to fit her feet comfortably.

She enveloped both of her parents in a hug, whispering “Thank you,” over and over again. Her parents grinned at her and ruffled her hair, “I also have a dollar for you to spend at Coney Island, Lottie-Love,” her mother said, pulling some quarters from her pocket. Lottie gratefully accepted the coins and changed into her new shoes.

Lottie prepared to meet up with Steve and Bucky, grabbing a wicker basket in which she placed some bread and cheese. Before she left, she grabbed Bucky’s handkerchief from her sewing kit. The past couple of days, she’d been begging her mother to teach her how to embroider; she wanted to show her gratitude for Bucky’s kindness by decorating his handkerchief for him. The handkerchief was freshly washed and adorned with a clumsily stitched floral pattern— a replica of the pattern on the side of his mother’s tea cup. In the corner, she’d carefully stitched the monogram “J.B.B.” It was done in a deep green thread to complement the light pinks used for the floral pattern.

She realized that the new decorations on the handkerchief may seem a bit feminine, but she figured that Bucky would appreciate having a little piece of home in his pocket. Regardless of how he acted, he obviously loved his mother deeply, so he would appreciate having something to remind him of her.

“I’ll be seein’ ya at supper!” Lottie called as she walked out of the apartment, wicker basket in hand and new shoes on her feet. The four blocks to Bucky’s apartment was a quick trip; upon her arrival, she found Steve and Bucky on the stone steps in front of the tenement, waiting for her.

“There’s the birthday girl! Happy birthday Little Lottie!” Bucky crowed standing up to ruffle her hair. Steve joined to two of them, giving her a kind smile and a heartfelt “Happy birthday, Lottie.”

Lottie grinned back in thanks, and turned sharply to lead them towards the trolley station while calling over her shoulder, “Come on boys, what are we waiting for?” Together, they walked a few blocks down to the closest subway station, where they boarded the subway that would take them to Coney Island.

On the half hour subway ride, Bucky explained the various attractions and rollercoasters. The Cyclone intrigued Lottie, but when she glanced at Steve, she noticed his face taking on a green hue at the mention of the rollercoaster. Most of all, Lottie was excited for the beach; she’d been to the beach before, but she was younger then. She hadn’t put a woolen bathing suit on underneath her dress, as she found it too heavy to be comfortable; she still planned on wading in the water at least.

“You know, they say the Cyclone is the steepest wooden coaster in the world,” Bucky commented, giving Lottie a look, “you game, Little Lottie?”

Lottie took the offer into consideration, mulling over the idea. She’d never really been on a rollercoaster, she’d only seen them from a distance; she did enjoy adrenaline rushes, though. She supposed that if Bucky was brave enough for it, she could be too. “Alright, I’m game,” she nodded.

Steve let out a sick sort of groan, “I hope that doesn’t mean I have to go with you two. I think I’ll just stay back and watch.” Lottie’s heart broke a little for him— she didn’t want him to feel left out from all the fun. “That should be fine, Steve, then we can walk along the boardwalk and wade in the water!”

When the subway pulled into the station, Lottie and the boys stepped onto the platform and ascended the stairs, leading to the sidewalk outside. A line spanned from the subway exit to the entrance of Coney Island, crammed full of other New Yorkers seeking a final summer Saturday before the beginning of school. She immediately changed her train of thought, not wanting to linger on the impending doom of school.

“Well I think it’s a good idea we got here this early, I remember one time my Pa and I had to wait for hours because the line wrapped around the next block,” Bucky observed as they shuffled along with the crowd. The trio passed the time playing “I spy” and whispering different observations about strangers in line.

“See those boys up there? I recognize ‘em from school. Always sayin’ they come here just for the steeplechase; there’s these funny jets that blow air up girls’ skirts and they like to watch ‘em. Imagine payin’ a nickel admission just to look at some underthings,” Bucky shook his head and Steve made a sound of disgust, “Always knew they were bad eggs.”

Lottie simply cocked her head in confusion, “Seems like a waste of money to me, seeing as they could get the same thing for free just walkin’ past the ladies’ section in Macy’s.”

Bucky let out a guffaw at that, “It’s not exactly the same, kid. Guys our age can just be real greaseballs, believe me.”

Lottie felt as if there was something she wasn’t getting but she shrugged it off; she would revisit this conversation later on. She was more focused on their close proximity to the entrance of Coney Island.

The three of them paid their nickel admissions fees and strolled into the park; Lottie was in between the two boys, gazing at the beach and towards Luna Park, where the coasters were. Bucky turned to her, “C’mon, let’s grab a locker to put your basket in— we’re going on the coasters first.”

The three of them explored all the attractions that Luna Park had to offer. When it came time to ride the Cyclone, Bucky threw his arm around his shoulders, “I know it looks scary, but I promise it’ll be alright, okay Little Lottie?” She simply nodded and struggled to figure out what to do with herself; this was the first time he’d ever really shown physical affection, albeit a very brotherly form. She sighed inwardly at that— brotherly. Nothing more, nothing less.

The Cyclone turned out to be her favorite ride in Luna Park; although it made her stomach drop, the adrenaline rush sent her into fits of giggles. They only went on once, since they wanted to save their money and didn’t want to leave Steve waiting.

The mid-day sun was beating down on them by the time they wandered down the boardwalk. Bucky and Steve went to town in a couple frankfurters while Lottie sipped on her lemon soda.

Lottie consumed the rest of her soda then disposed of the cup, turning to the boys, “Are you two ready to go to the beach? I’ve got some nice fixin’s for a picnic.”

“Well Little Lottie, you know the best way to a guy’s heart is through his stomach. Lead the way!” Bucky threw an exaggerated wink her way and she laughed, rolling her eyes. “Buck, we all know the best way to your heart would be through your head ‘cause it’s practically empty—you’d go straight through. But you’re always stuffing your face with anything you can find,” Steve scoffed.

Lottie led the two of them back to their locker, grabbing her wicker basket. They walked towards the beach, weaving in and out of the crowds. Once they found a fairly empty spot, the trio sat down and divvied up the bread and cheese that she’d packed.

“So how’s your birthday been so far?” Steve questioned, nudging her shoulder. “I’ve really enjoyed it so far. Probably the best one yet,” Lottie grinned, popping some cheese in her mouth.

“Well now seems like a good time for gifts, yeah? I’ll get us started,” Bucky announced, pulling out a small package. She really hadn’t been expected gifts at all, so she was left blushing and flustered. Inside the package was a chain with a gold pendant, roughly the size of a dime. At its center was a little green gem, glinting in the sun.

“My Ma was getting all excited over your birthday, sayin’ stuff about girls becoming women and needin’ proper jewelry and all that. I saw this at the rummage sale and it just reminded me of you ‘cause your last name’s Green. Don’t worry, it wasn’t a pretty penny or anything, pretty sure it’s just brass and green glass,” Bucky shrugged, trying to come off as nonchalant. Lottie didn’t try to keep up a cool appearance and threw her arms around him, squeezing.

“All a gal ever really needs is brass and green glass. Thank you, Bucky,” she said earnestly.

“Aw c’mon Buck, you really had to pull that? Now my gift’s gonna be lame in comparison,” Steve jokingly sighed, pulling out his own package, handing it to Lottie. Inside was a little leather-bound book, full of lined pages with dates on them. “I thought you’d enjoy a journal. Just to write your thoughts down on, or to even practice your new art skills on,” he explained.

Lottie smiled down fondly at its pages and gave Steve a fierce hug, “I love it, thank you Steve.”

“Oh, before I forget,” Lottie started, reaching into the bottom of the basket, “I have something of yours, Bucky.”

She grabbed his handkerchief and handed it to him, his eyes widening. “Did you do this?” He asked, a look of fondness taking over his features as he looked down at the floral pattern she’d recreated.

“I just thought it would be a nice favor ‘cause you let me borrow it,” she shrugged, looking down at the sand. This time she was the one who had to feign nonchalance.

“This is just aces, Little Lottie!” Bucky grinned at her, pulling her into a bear hug and a signature ruffle of her hair. She teasingly shoved him off to fix her dress and her hair, “Maybe next time try to thank me in a more civil way,” she chided, sticking her tongue out at him. He simply barked out a laugh and carefully folded the handkerchief, putting it in his pocket.

They all gazed at the horizon, enjoying a moment of amiable silence. Lottie broke the silence, albeit regretfully, “I think I gotta get home. Ma’s gonna be wanting me home for supper soon.” The boys nodded and they all got to their feet, ridding their clothes of sand.

The subway ride home was all quiet murmurs and soft laughter; the children too tired for rowdy behavior. They parted ways in front of the Barnes’ tenement, and Lottie gave both Steve and Bucky hugs goodbye, thanking them profusely for a wonderful birthday.

That night, as had become her routine, she gazed at her little treasures, especially the new addition to her collection. The necklace found a home in the mason jar along with her lucky penny, both winking at her by candlelight. She whispered her vow, soft and sure,

“James Buchanan Barnes, I’ll love you ‘til I die.”

[auro-ora]

Past and Present

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 1,772 Notes: Prompt above was written for @the-ss-horniest-book-club I really hope I did this some justice. I kinda did change the plot about 3 times tehe. Thank you for reading!

“Okay Cap. I got the files. Bring me home!” you pant into your comms. It was Steve’s bright idea to send you back to the year 1938 for some important documents that were hidden away to give clues about future possible mass destructive weapons that Hydra might build in the later years. Steve and Bucky couldn’t join you just in case they happened to run into the younger version of themselves, the thought alone amused you but you here in Brooklyn alone trying your best to blend in with the crowds. “Y/n. We have a technical glitch. Tony is working on it right now so hang tight.” Great. And super great since it had just started to rain heavy. Puddles forming in the middle of the roads as the children laughed and jumped in them. 

There was an old jazz bar on the other side of the road. With a quick check of your watch, you didn’t think there was any harm in getting out of the horrible weather for awhile. You sprinted through the puddles, holding the case over your head to shield yourself from the rain because wet hair was just uncomfortable.

With a groan and a silent curse for Steve and Bucky who were home in the compound dry and warm right now, you pushed through the wooden doors and the old musky smell of the bar slapped you in the face. The jazz music was barely audible over the loud distinctive noise of chatter and a particular obnoxious laugh is what caught your attention. A brunette with her head thrown back, laughing at something the young gentleman had told her. The shorter hair from the back as he nursed his drink. He turned his head slightly to the right, you recognized the side profile almost immediately and of course the little ear crink on the top of his right ear. 

You moved forward to the empty barstool to avoid gaining any attention and secretly looked past the lady sitting next to you to watch him. He would have been around 21 years old and he still looked as handsome as the present day Bucky you knew so well. You harbored a deep crush on him, loved everything about him. He even had a very good sense of humor for an old man. But it was his kind heart you loved the most, he was special to you but he didn’t feel the same way. You understood he didn’t want or need a relationship; he didn’t want to be tied down since he has been for most of his life. He wanted his freedom and he made that very clear. It just didn’t stop you from feeling disappointed and rejected though. You thought about Bucky a lot. His laugh and oh his smile. You smiled just at the thought of his smile, you wondered what he would think if he was here right now, what would he say to his younger self? You could imagine it would be something encouraging like: You’re gonna be alright buddy. Whatever Hydra does to you, you’ll make it in the end because you’re strong and Steve will find you. You’ll be alright. Just don’t give up even in the darkest of days. 

“Excuse me ma'am? Would you mind if I sat here so I can sit next to my wife?” an older man asked as he pointed to the lady next to you with his hat. He had to shout a little louder over the noise and of course, this gained a little attention, even Bucky’s. You made direct eye contact with Bucky for a few seconds and watched that cute little twitch he did when he smirked that you loved so much. “Yes of course.” you smiled at the gentleman who was patiently waiting for the seat and slipped off the stool. You stood in the middle of the floor, patreons moving around you. 

You really just wanted to go home and hoped Steve would hurry up and bring you back. Bucky sat on the stool with his back to you but would look over his shoulder and smile. Your heart fluttering in your chest like a swarm of butterflies. 

“Ma’am?” a drunken younger guy slurred in your ear. You pulled away disgusted with the certainty that pig shit smelled nicer than his breath. “Can I help you?” you pulled a face, trying to distance yourself. “Yeaaah. You can help me…” he jabbed himself in the chest “... in more ways than one.” he grinned. “Well, I hate to-”

“Back off Romeo.” Bucky’s softer voice spoke in front of the two of you, his arms folded across his not-so-broad chest. But from here, you got a good look at the hair that ran down a line on his chest. “She’s not interested.” you couldn’t hold back the grin. Just knowing what present-day Bucky would have done to this guy. Even though Bucky didn’t want a relationship with you, it never stopped him from caring about you and protecting you. “Oh come on Bucky.” the drunk guy tried to reason but Bucky wasn’t listening. 

Instead, his soft hand grabbed your elbow and he led the way to his seat by the bar, allowing you to sit on his stool as he stood next to you. “Always so protective.” you smirked. His blue eyes were just as beautiful and full of life as they were now. His eyebrows furrowed but he still smiled, even if he didn’t understand the meaning behind your words. “Well, you’re welcome, doll.” Oh there it is. That one word that always makes you swoon all over the place. A small giggle slipped out from between your lips and an ever growing blush sweeping across your cheeks. “You like it when I call you doll?” Bucky asked in a flirty tone and you giggled more, dipping your head to hide your shyness, he joined in on your giggles and you loved this Bucky. But you wished it was the present-day Bucky saying these things to you. “You never lost your charm.” you said out loud, halting his giggle as he looked confused. “You’re so beautiful. I’ve never seen ya around here before, you new?” he asked with interest. “You could say that.” you smiled, his intense stare setting your skin alight. “Well my beautiful doll. How about I take you out to dinner sometime?” Bucky leaned one elbow on the bar and you pulled your lip back between your teeth.

“Y/N? Where are you? We’re ready to bring you home.” Steve’s voice invaded your ear and you jumped slightly. “Give me a few minutes Steve.” Bucky’s eyes narrowed as he wondered who you were talking to. “I’m Bucky.” he corrected with a chuckle. “I’ve gotta go but let’s do a raincheck on that dinner?” you don’t know why you did this to yourself, you wouldn’t be seeing this Bucky ever again. “I hope it will be soon.” he said with a small smile, tucking a strand of hair behind the ear that didn’t have the comms in. You slipped off the barstool and turned on your heels. With your arms opened you embraced Bucky in a hug before you left. “You’re the strongest man I know. I’m so proud of you.” you whispered in his ear, planting a very soft and gentle kiss to his cheek. Your eyes are glossy as you look back in his confused eyes. Taking one last look at him before you turn and leave him standing there unsure about what just happened. 

Later that night…

You couldn’t stop thinking about the Bucky you met in that bar today. How vulnerable and soft he was. His flirtatious charm never went away. You wished you could have spent the entire day with him, there was so much you wanted to ask him, to tell him that you couldn’t with the present-day Bucky. You found it emotional, Bucky was such a sweetheart and you understood he always was. You were angry at Hydra, how could they do this to someone so sweet. 

Tears ran freely down your cheeks as you gazed out of the large window from your bed. The sun had set an hour ago and it was just you with your thoughts and the flickering from the candle. “Hey doll.” your head whipped towards the figure standing by the door. His finger hovers over the light switch, your eyes squinting from the sudden intrusion of the light. “Hey Bucky.” you wiped your wet cheeks with the sleeve of your shirt and crossed your legs, your hands hanging limply in your lap. “Are you alright?” he asked as he took two long strides to cross the bedroom to your bed, making himself comfortable by propping himself up on his elbow. 

You looked at the details of his face and compared them to the 30s Bucky. The creases on his forehead was more noticeable as he spent most of his days frowning. The circles under his eyes from the lack of sleep he got because of his demons he was fighting during the nights. Bucky now had a beard that looked so soft to touch. “I’m fine.” you croaked. “Are you sure? Took you a really long time just to answer with two words.” he joked. More tears ran down your cheeks as you thought about everything he’s ever been through, mostly alone and scared. You knew he didn’t want sympathy but you just couldn’t help it, not after meeting a more confident version of himself. A version Hydra had taken from him.

You lunged forward wrapping your arms around his middle and nuzzled your face in the crook of his neck. Bucky’s own arms wrapped tightly around you, his hand up and down your back to comfort you. “What’s wrong doll?” he kissed your hairline as sobs wracked from your chest. “I don’t know.” your tears pooled onto his shirt. The tighter he held you, the harder you cried. “Hey come on sweetheart.” he shushed you, dipping his head so he could see your face. His fingers tucking the strand of hair behind your ear. “Why don’t you get dolled up and I take you out to dinner? Raincheck, remember?” he smirked. Your head snapped up as your eyes widened. “How did you…?” your mouth fell open. “I heard everything.” came his reply, his smile never faltering. “Now get in that shower and get ready. I’ll be back here in 15 minutes!”

@jobean12-blog​ @marvelgirl7

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

okay so! headcanon time, if 40s bucky was indeed a fuckboy and the reader met bucky post-winter soldier, who is a different man compared to who he was back then, how would bucky react if the reader told him casualy & half-jokingly that "i dont think i would've liked you back then because from what steve told me, you were what they call a fuckboy these days" or something like that?

Hahaha! Honestly, I could see myself actually saying something exactly like that.

I think Bucky would just find it funny. In a weird way, I think it would make him feel good. Like it was a reminder that Y/N was with him for the person he is now, not the person that Steve rememberers or the man that he no longer is.

But there’s also a part of Bucky that knows he would’ve fallen in love with Y/N back then too. She would’ve been the game changer. He’d give up his old ways to make sure she knew that she was different, that she wasn’t just another girl to chase after and get over in a week to move onto the next one.

Bucky never says that to Y/N though. Because they’d just be words. It wouldn’t mean much to her now. It’s something that never would’ve been. It’s a time she never lived.

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

you know its interesting to read your answer about why you'd choose steve over bucky especially the how 40s bucky was a fuckboy part bc i too spend a lot of times thinking about what if i had met bucky pre-winter soldier? he's always depicted as this charming gentleman who had a way with the ladies but isnt that what a fuckboy means?? like how he'd charm the ladies to get into her pants?? and the amount of women he did that to... how come people headcanon him as a gentleman in the 40s lol

Yeah, I get what you mean. I don’t think he had any ill intentions. Casual sex wasn’t as prevalent as it is today. So, I don’t think he was banging girls left and right. But he definitely was a shameless flirt and played with girls’ feelings. But I don’t think he was a misogynist or bad person by any means.

[megfanfics]

❌❌Do you know the story where reader is like Bucky's secretary or assistant and from the kind of poor side of town and Bucky's mom comes along and he says that they're dating and his mom is all upset and tries to pay her to leave? I know that Steve is her brother and he's practically his babysitter. It's okay if you don't know it! I just really want to read it again

I think this is “Uptown Girl” by @brooklyn-boy :) also there was an anon who just asked about a fake dating AU where he calls her ‘Archie’, I think thats this one too! :)

[megfanfics]

Hey love can you help me find a fic its 1940s au of bucky where he is a ceo of a company and reader is his assistant he takes her to his ma sayi g she is his gf or something i dnt remember correctly 😅

Pretty sure this is “Uptown Boy” by @brooklyn-boy :)

[megfanfics]

i’ve been looking for a bucky fic, it’s set in the 30s, reader has strict parents, and bucky is one of the only men she knows. it’s based off the abba song “does your mother know” and i’m having no luck finding it 😔 please help

Hey babe! I think this may be “Does your mother know” by @wxntersoldiers :)

Let me know if I got it!💘