#365WithMango - Day 195: where i live im a day late for #InternationalNonBinaryDay, but it's still July 14 somewhere in the world. I realize that maybe a lot of peiple who have known me longer than others may not really know that this is me. That's fine - I didnt really know this was me for sure either until maybe a year ago, and before that it was a few years of some introspection and questioning what I'd been taught and what I thought I knew about myself, and before that there wasn't much. If I hadnt met other genderqueer, genderfluid and/or non-binary people, I dont think I'd have realized that I was questioning things, or that there was even a word for any of it. I had gone for so long thinking "cis woman, i guess," feeling somewhat forced or boxed into this idea of who or what I'm supposed to be or role I'm supposed to fill, that it was a bit of a surprise to see so many people talk about things I only ever told or asked myself in my head. I came upon a label for myself only last year, and it honestly has felt like a lot of my thoughts around myself have settled down, while new ones are less stressful and more just fact, like realizing a direct relationship between being non-binary and my self-esteem issues. There's a percent of the world's population thay have never had to worry about who they are or who society and history have taught them they are or will be, and I will never begrudge them that, but it has made me wonder what that actually feels like - to just go about your days thinking about going to the bank or buying groceries or meeting deadlines without the added stresses of what i look or sound like to other people in that bank or grocery store or at work and if it's in contrast to who or what I am or would like to be known as. All this to say that I have found comfort and relief in realizing that I am non-binary, and I am more comfortable with that part of myself than I have been about several other parts of me. I think that is something to celebrate. https://www.instagram.com/p/CCpcKegHocD/?igshid=17r82ish467rp