#4.6.2020

[astarlightmonbebe]

cordelia carstairs 

pictured with a daisy, meaning pure love

from chain of gold, by @cassandraclare​

follow my art instagram!

[g-oats]

pokeman

[godsnameisjoy]

No Note

Date: 4 June 2020

Duration: 49 minutes at 11:13 pm

Depth: Sorry, I have nothing to offer.

[prosy-days]

June 4, 2020 - Day 350

Made some strawberry rhubarb crumble.

[honey-and-sting]

Letter to My Parents

There’s never going to be  a good way to say this to you. You see- I know even now that you will disapprove of my entire existence without second thought. I’m so much happier when I allow myself to be who I am, the person that I have learned to love as have so many others. I wish you could see past gender to the place where I exist, somehow neither & in between. I wish you could feel love before you saw it with your eyes because neither love nor the self can fit inside a social construct. I wish that telling you who I’ve been all this time wouldn’t make you love me less, but you’ll never see past the limited scope of what you can understand. So you’ll never get this letter & you’ll never know my name.

[killedbycorona]

death roses:

I don’t want to see

Distraction

This can’t be real, I’m making this up, it doesn’t make sense

Resistance in general

[killedbycorona]

Ice cream waffles

Watching tv

Impractical jokers

Harry styles

I wanted to take him to concerts

Should I try some

Shows me all the food and asks about it all

I now get why I love the beach and flowers and how deeply I want to be in the moment

I look at you all and see him because I see me

The beach and flowers and clouds

That laughter heals so deeply, as much as I think pain does

He was insensitive and I a sponge and we finally worked beautifully

I see him

Be in the moment find joy in the simplicities

“Don’t smile”

He says fight on state

[killedbycorona]

Thank you to everyone who joined in my family’s Shiva over zoom. There were 140 screens on at one point (200 people I think). It was, for the worst reason, really beautiful to see everyone there. It was incredibly powerful for me to see the meaningful relationships from my childhood and remember where I come from. I am constantly reminded through this process they love exists and is meant to last. I think I’m safely learning that it is ok to reconnect with folks. It’s ok to be in the moment, as my dad always was, and to tell people nice or funny things when they come up. I don’t need to shut down these “thinking of you” moments. I know his impact goes so much farther than I realized. It goes farther than family, farther than my friends, farther than my brother’s friends, coworkers... everyone was able to be my dad’s friend because he was able to be a friend to anyone who needed one. I’m learning he has been able to be so much to so many people -a mentor, a second father, a brother.. overall, a mensch! I am so tired but I love for moments of connection like these. I’m so grateful to see old faces and him through all of us. We keep his legacy going by being with one another and watching his light beam from all of us. He really loved my family. That point was driven so deeply tonight. I’ve always thought you can only know others by bonding through pain, past trauma or future fears and being highly sensitive to, well, everything. Turns out, you can bond just as easily and make just as big of an impact, maybe more, by being present with people and making them smile. Thank you to everyone who has shared stories of our family. I know now how lucky I am to love the things I do. He gave me every platform to be the best version of myself and I will continue to do and be that for the rest of my life time. I really thank you all for coming and everyone who has supported myself and my family so far and who will continue to support us. May his light carry on and shine in all of you. Love always, Aliya Rae Cohen, kid of the kid from Brooklyn.