AIO - I (41F) saw photos of ex on my husband's (42M) phone
Throwaway account due to personal details.
I've (41F) been married to my husband (42M) for nearly 6 years, together for about 11. Before me, he was engaged to someone else, they ended long before I even met him (I've never met her). He ended it with her, they wanted different things and drifted, no animosity.
This morning, he left his phone out as our 5yr old watches kids tv on it for half an hour in the morning. As my kid went to get dressed, I picked up the phone and (I shouldn't have done this, I know) I pressed the button which shows recent apps used.....
One (about 5 or 6 apps back) was an old photo in his file storage of his ex in a bikini (I know it was her as he showed me a photo of her a while back, and it was old because she looked about 25!). I am assuming he was using this photo for some "alone time".
Now of course, 1) I shouldn't have even been on his phone, and 2) It's not my business what he looks at, however I am a bit concerned. Is this normal? It has left me feeling embarrassed and humiliated (of course it tells me he prefers her looks to mine).
They aren't still in touch so I'm not concerned he's cheating (or so he tells me they aren't, but she lives the other end of the country from us and is in a new relationship of her own).
I obviously can't have an honest conversation because he (rightly) would be annoyed that I had looked at his phone (although frankly if our 5yr old had seen it, then that would also be something I wouldn't be happy about). Probably worth also mentioning we have zero sex life at the moment.
TLDR; married 6yrs to husband, saw old photo of his ex in a bikini on his phone that he had recently been looking at (recent apps).
AIO? Is this normal and I shouldn't even give it a second thought, or could this be something I have to address.
Thoughts anyone? Please be kind, I'm upset, angry and humiliated.
Reddit consensus: MIXED (no clear verdict)
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Originally shared by [deleted] on r/AmIOverreacting on January 20th, 2026 at 11:54 AM UTC.
