Delayed | Rest | Surprises | The Mexican Coca-Cola is Much Sweeter | Have You Met A Stranger | The Unnecessity of Physical Distances | Silence | Things We Say When We’re 700 Miles Apart | Cheeks on Desk | Lunch with You | Sunday | 2e-10 | The Secret of the Sky is Not to be Revealed | A Fly on the Wall | Pink Piglet and His Baby Mama | With A Cherry on Top | The Turkey Special | Together We’ll Mend Your Heart | When the Sundog Did Not Come | Eight | Man on a Mission | Childish Games | No Other Fish | The Ancient Secrets of the Bee Pollen | The Goddess and the Scholar | Breakfast on the Weekends | Particular | Pink, Dancing, and Bubbly | Rent Day Blues | Salt and Sugar | Cigarettes Will Kill You | Headlong | Seven Pound and Six Ounces | Second Christmas | The Next Christmas | Occam’s Razor | The Answering Machine | Heads and Tails | A Month Shy of A Year | A Call with Chuck | Forgetfulness and Presbyopia | The Other Dream | The Cincinnati Chili is a Sin to Pass Up | Pups | Barnes Corners | True Love Happens Every Day | The Meanings of Thermos | Tuesdays With Mulder | Old Friend in Oxford | Mulder’s Chickadee | The Broken Pinky Loneliness | The Markings of a Man | The Master Of | Universes | The Cygnet and Dumbo | Marks and Scars | Waiting for the Ship to Come | The Origin of the Walkie-Talkie | The Excepted One |
AU
A Full House Thanksgiving
Emily AU: And They Were All Yellow | | The Spookys | Skinny Noodles | Yucky Boys and Fickle Girls | Priceless | It | Spelling Bees and Sing-A-Longs | Letter to Santa | Christmas at Grandma’s | Minime | Faithful One-Hundred Percent | Deep Space Sparkle | Sympathy Pox | Belong | The Year of the Fox |
Jacksons AU: The Boy from the Future | The Things Said by the Hands |
Cricket Universe
Ten Rules of Dating | Daddy’s Girl | First Day | How to Dad | The Tentative Trouble with Time Traveling | Brought to You by The LGM | For the Life of Pie | Semi-Grown | A Reunion | The Trekkie Professor | Premonition | An Experiment | A Late Summer |
Conversation in the Very Very Late at Night…. thirteen | fourteen |
I'm really bored. Some language is included. Let me know if you think I should expand on any of them.
College
"Victor...please don't leave me in here with her!"
"You puked on her thesis. I'm leaving you in here as long as Emma wants. It will be my greatest joy to watch her beat 7 kinds of shit out of you while you try to keep an eye on the ball."
"But squash courts are dangerous!"
"So is binge drinking while you pull all night-ers. And you should be more worried about Emma, see that window? I'll be up there."
"I hate you..."
"But you love her. Have fun kicking your fiance's ass Em."
"Victor, if I ever decide to break off the engagement, I want to move in with you and Ruby."
Band
"And this...is Grace"
"You named your guitar?"
"Doesn't everyone?"
"Most people do, but with most guys it's usually the alternate name for their dick. You overcompensating for something, Carroll? Because Grace here is a fine looking girl."
"Well Swan, sit your lovely self down, let me play you a song, and then you can judge whatever inadequacies you think I have should you desire it."
"Play on. Wow me so thoroughly that my panties evaporate."
"You might just be my new favorite person."
P.I. (morally grey P.I.)
"Is this the part where I get to put this jerk's head through his windshield for groping me?"
"No, this is the part where you tie back him up and we shove him in the trunk of the car."
"Wow Jeff, you're so lucky you're attractive. We aren't supposed to kill him! Just get him back to his wife!"
"Fine, hit him as hard as you want then handcuff him."
Ghost
"Yes Dad, I shut the windows, I don't know where the draft is coming from. No, it's fine. I have extra blankets, i'll figure it out."
"Cold?"
"AHHHHH! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU ON MY BED?!"
"I'm Jefferson. I live here."
"No, no you definitely don't. I know that because I live here with my two parents, they live downstairs and don't let strange men into my room. There was definitely no victorian hipster spirit in the contract."
"No, there was. But I don't think they wanted to frighten you just yet. I've lived here for years. I grew up here. This used to be my room."
"Well it's mine now and you're a very convincing hallucination brought on by what's probably chill induced pneumonia. Go away."
"I'm not a hallucination. I AM the reason for the chill though. I know you aren't happy here Emma. I don't like seeing you upset so when you are, I stick around until you calm down."
"No, i'm not happy. I'm told it's a side effect of tiny towns, a dead boyfriend, and being booted from college. I'm also told that stalker ghosts can be upsetting too."
"Are you upset with me along with everything else about life here? I can't hurt you. That should put me on your good side."
"Well if you can't hurt me and I can't pitch your creepy ass out the window head first, I guess i'll just have to ignore you."
"You can try. It is a small town and it can be lonely."
"I'll take my chances. Now piss off and let me sleep. If I catch you in here again I will search every inch of this stupid town for your body and I WILL burn it."
Coffee Shop
"I don't care, really I don't. I can't even begin to tell you how much the words coming out of your mouth don't matter to me."
"Sooooomeone's hungover this morning."
"Yes, Jefferson. I am excruciatingly hungover but i came in because I get really upset when I have to be away from you for more than 12 hours."
"Hey Ruby? Do we still have that cowbell?"
"Yeah, it's in the back by the grinders. If she's hungover again, wait an hour until we open. The caffeine needs to kick in and it wakes up the customers."
"You're amazing!"
"Don't I know it. Hey, can you let Phillip know that i'm looking for someone to DJ my party on saturday? We're going to have really greasy food and filthy floors, and i'm pretty sure there will be unseemly bodily fluids, plus everything will reek of warm garbage..."
"Oh my GOD I hate you both. Be right back"
"Sick in under 10 minutes. This will be a great day. Ru, you make life worth living and I love you like a sister."
"Ok Hat Boy, you can sweet talk me all you want but i'm not letting you off to go get her food and aspirin."
"Because you two partied so hard last night and probably had sex on my countertop, you're going to go clean up after her when she's done wretching up whatever you and my genius boyfriend created."
