#6:38pm

[youngwildfire]

Soon, I’ll just be another forgotten memory

[choaswl]

مش عارفة الحل أني استنى التغيير و استجابة دعائي من ربنا ولا أني امشي و كفاية تعب قلب و إرهاق ف نفسي…الفكرة أني اللي بطلبه ممكن يتحقق بس المشكلة في طباع الشخص اللي بتمناه…طباع مش سهل تتغير و مش عارفة هقدر أتعايش معاها ولا لأ

[ajyal-azez]

ليّ حب في خلوتي مع نفسي، كَحبي للشايّ حين يلامس أطراف الفمِ المعطرِ..

[suicide-and-other-comforts]

It’s your birthday today. I had gotten so fucked up the night before that I completely forgot until my brother brought it up. Looking at how much I look like you crushes me. Me and my siblings are the only things that are left of you and it seems like no one cares. Your own compais don’t even check in on us. They were supposed to be your brothers and this is what they do. I truly believe they had a part in you being taken away from us. I’m not looking forward to September at all. Your grave doesn’t feel like a place I belong at. I wonder what I would say to you if I ever saw you again. I wonder more what you would say to me. Would you still be proud of me knowing all the things I’ve done? Are you looking down at me satisfied with the person I grew up to be? Do you have any regrets for the things you did to us growing up? A lot of my trauma stems from you but losing you was the biggest one. I naively thought that things will be normal again one day when I was 11 but things won’t ever be normal again. Losing your only father figure that young isn’t normal at all. Not having anyone to walk you down the isle is not normal. People don’t understand what losing a father that young does to you. I know you were also a son, a “husband”, a brother and a friend; but they don’t even think about how losing you affected us. All the shit we went through after because of you. They always talk about how kind and generous you were, but i barely remember that side of you. I wish I saw more of it. I’m jealous of the people that got to know more of you for a longer time than I did. I wished I would’ve hugged you for one second longer the last time I saw you as yourself, not what you were on your deathbed. Seeing you die in front of me was the worst experience of my life. I know there’s gonna be a 10 year memorial bullshit ceremony this year and if I’m being honest, I don’t wanna fucking go at all. It’s never about you, it’s about your mother seeking sympathy and your “friends” seeking clout. No one ever stops and thinks about how seeing videos of you belligerently drunk affects us. It was all fun and games to them but it was something completely different to us. I love you and I miss you, but I wish you could’ve been a better father.

[feelingsnth0ughts]

i’m legit just letting myself go. i’ve never been this unmotivated. EVER. i start to think about doing something, like starting up a hobby or even working out, and then BAM. when i try to start, i end up just sitting there and then not doing it.

[bigheaux]

i want to buy a house and have a room just dedicated to socks. like picture this, you had a rough day but you walk into The Sock Room™ and you're comforted by mountains of socks. this is truly The Dream

[theaestheticofsound]

Why do i always try so hard? / 04/07/17

Wanted to meet my friends to barbeque and made plans with one of them so meet in a certain tram. Had to run to be on time and then (after i texted her that i made it) she wrote “yeah no, actually i’m going later” and no one will be there when i am because of this stupid shit

Why couldn’t she just write it the other 3 hours before i was on my way???????