As I sit here in the grass, I feel sad. As i sit up here in this tree, I feel low. How do i know? It feels like i cant smile. It feels like a bag filled with water is living underneath my eyes, resting on my cheek bones. The space where my cheek bones connects to my nose feels puffy and sore. My entire face feels like it cried all night. Today i acknowledge temptation, hence the Ferrero chocolate. I acknowledge loneliness. I acknowledge sadness. I also acknowledge the + effect of routine and feeling purposeful (such as when i was in school @ New World. You get up at 6am, spend hours learning and expanding your mind, creating art with other artists, and repeating that) I acknowledge my strongest desire in this moment is to make the pain go away. I am choosing instead to sit in it, to observe it, and then to reach out. As I was messaging a friend and a guide what I was feeling and that I wanted his support through this journey I begin to weep. As I wept I realized the pain comes with these limiting beliefs is strong enough to feel it in my skin, to feel it under my skin... to feel it in my bones. Before this moment I hadn't realized how much I needed to just cry. My face started to de swell. I could feel it deflating like a balloon with a tiny little hole. I could hear the hiss in my mind, the whistling sound coming from the air exiting through my nose. After this release I came to some clarity. I learned that nature is a metaphor for life. Obvious right? Not for me. I learned that it's as beautiful as it is chaotic comma with all its thorns and the spiders and mosquito sticking you with needles. That nature is balance. It's not all peace, it's not all war. They both exist naturally. Because that's divine order. I realize that nature is the representation of feminine energy because like the woman it gives and births life... explaining why we deliberately call it Mother Earth. It isn't that I haven't heard this concept of before, it said this was my experience of learning of it, at a deeper understanding. I learned that in nature is to practice surrender. Surrender to the bites. Surrender to the pain. Surrender #7DaysofSoul #day5
