I don’t think y’all are ready for this (copy and pasted from one of my books on Wattpad)
(There are some spelling errors since this was written at like 2 or 3 am ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)
Summary: Bitch boy goes to the local H&M with the rest of his group to terrorize the workers.
(Workers being the Ten Commandments and Four Arch Angels.)
And the following are their best moments.
Derieri looks blankly into the dragon freaks eyes and looks over his outfit.
A cap with a derpy dragon on it, a t-shirt with a derpy dragon on it, jeans, boxers over the jeans with derpy dragons on them, dragon claw gloves, dragon crocs and fake dragon wings.
She’s so done with his shit. She takes a deeps breath and is about to ask him what the fuck he’s doing there, but then he speaks.
“Can you show me the unicorn section, please?”
She breaks the cashier table.
Monspeit just sighs, that’s the fifth table this week.
Drole and Gloxinia stare are her and question why they’re even working there anymore.
Diane stands there in her full 6’10 glory and Is covered with dirt and scrapes, eating rocks.
Every crunch is lowering their years of life.
They are in Spain without the S.
Diane has been following them since this morning just, eating rocks and just when you thing she’s done she gets more out of her hoodie pocket.
WHERE DO THEY KEEP COMING FROM?!?!
(Little did they know it’s was actually just rock candy painted with gray with edible paint.)
Fraudrin and Grayroad were so done. They were going to quit this job, they’re going to.
Here stands Ban clad in a fox onesie holding a fox, asking if he has any dog biscuits to smoke...for him...and his fox. (That came form when a friend (that little twat keeps stealing my juice boxes) of mine smoked a dog bone, I still have the pictures 😪)
The fox notices Fraudrins despair and laughs, the fox fucking laughs at him.
He walks into the storage and when he comes back Ban is now holding two foxes and one is in his onesie peeking it’s head out.
And the worst part is, they have dog biscuits and are now asking for a lighter.
Grayroad just want for a bath room break and never came back out.
When Melascula and Sariel came to work today they didn’t expect it to be a FUCKING JUNGLE!!!
They were trying to find the cashiers counter and when they got there, there sat King on top of a fucking beat sipping a capri-sun, texting his boyfriend and wearing a a kinder egg costume.
They asked him what, how and why he got there before then he only answered with “The egg has spoken, and you have sinned.”
They gave up eventually and when they did, oh boy did they regret. They got pelted with eggs, and when they spoke to King he answered with “The egg has punished you, you must wait for the other punishes.”
Gowther walked up to Tarmiel, Galand. He was holding a book, a NSFW one at that and began reading it out loud to them.
It involved a lot of kinks and pissing, at one point Galand walked away and head butted a stone statue and got knocked out only to have a dream about him reading the book.
At the end of their shift Galand was crying and Tarmiel was in the water fountain, just floating there. And Gowther? He was having the time of his life, he read through three entire smut books.
Merlin walks in, holding a beaker with some liquid in it.
Zeldris doesn’t like this and neither does Ludociel.
Merlin drinks it and suddenly she’s a Middle aged, kinda fat, American man with a baseball cap and holding a beer can.
Zeldris regrets life and wished that he accepted that day off.
She terrorizes them all day by speaking in the most confusing way possible and being impossible, she was like a Karen but worse.
Estarossa and Mael were happy, no that’s a lot they were in hell.
Once they saw Escanor walk intakt eh store with a boom box they knew they were fucked.
Escanor started playing “I’m too sexy for my shirt.” And then proceeded to rip off a layer of shirts. You se he was wearing over 150 pairs of shirts and was ready to rip them off.
Estarossa and Mael had to witness this all happen, they saw him inhale water, not drink it but inhale it.
And when he was done with the shirt he walked up to them and said “I defy shirts.” And placed all the shirts on top of the counter and left to go find a wear another 150 layers of shirts and start this all over again.
How is the this allowed you may ask? Well it’s because Goat dad owns the store.
Monspeit just stares at this...monstrosity he sees Meliodas wearing a unicorn printed cap, T-shirt, pants, shoes and fucking sunglasses.
He sighs and asks him what he’s doing there and Meliodas just answers by taking a long sip out of his unicorn water bottle and saying.
“Actually, I prefer dragons can you point me to the dragon section?”
Monspeit burns down the cashiers counter.
Derieri in the back is staring and thinks ‘tenth one this week, are you kidding me?’
She was back but his time she’s not eating rocks she eating FUCKING BOULDERS!!!
How did she get them, they don’t fucking know and every fucking crunch of the Boulder breaking takes another two years off their life span.
She’s been following them SINCE FUCKING 3AM, HOW DID SHE GET THE FUCKING KEY TO THEIR HOUSE!?!?
Gloxinia went for a bathroom break and when he came back Drole was in a corner sobbing and Diane? She was crunching the fuck out of those boulders.
He walks into the store and entire fox army behind him, when Greyroad sees this they peace out like literally they make the peace sign and disappear into thin air.
Fraudrin cries when Ban walks up to him and asked for catnip to smoke THOSE ARENT EVEN CATS!!!
Fraudrin turns to the counter and when he turns around they’re all cats and Ban has cat ears, paws and a tail.
He looks him straight in the eyes and says “Nya~” Froudrin slams his head into the wall.
Melascula and Sariel wake up in the shop and it’s now halfway filled with water they have to walk on the shelves since they’re short. It’s filled with different species of fish and some starfish.
When they get to the counter they see King sitting on a seabear WHAT THE FUCK IS A SEA BEAR?! THEY DONT KNOW!
He stares at them while listening to his boyfriends voice message and is drinking Boba.
They don’t even ask and that’s a bad move as they do fish eggs and caviar gets dumped on them.
Helbrams voice on the voice message says “I egg-xpect you to be punished by now and we’ll you’ve got three punishes left~”
They dunk themselves underwater and scream.
Tarmiel and Galand see that the H&M is filled with t.v’s and once they notice Gowther he turns on all of the t.v’s and they blast porn and hentai.
Galand just stands there frozen like a statue and Tarmiel? He’s disturbed.
Gowther just laughs and turns up the volume.
She walk up to the counter and drinks a potion and she’s suddenly gone and instead there are a bunch of pigs in sailor outfits shitting everywhere.
Zeldris just leaves to go home to Arthur and Ludociel has to deal with this shit.
When Escanor enters Estarossa and Mael die a little inside when they see him with a boom box.
“Sexy Back” starts playing and Escanor is wearing 160 suits and slowly starts stripping the whole day and in the end he places the suits on the counter while only wearing sweatpants and says.