In all of his former relationships, Buck has always been called some variation of needy or clingy.
And while it's never really said to harm or insult per se, Buck can't help but take it that way sometimes.
So when he first enters in a relationship with you, he tries his best to put out speed brakes for himself, to avoid being too much. Because this relationship with you was different. He felt different, he felt seen, and he was completely and wholeheartedly in love with you. But he feared that if he was too clingy, maybe the relationship wouldn't last.
He knows it is unfair to you - to assume that you would not like the version of him where he is himself fully - but Buck's brain was never really fair to him.
When he enters the house after a particularly hard and gruelling shift, all he really wants is to be with you. To hold onto you and not let you go, but again - he doesn't want to make you feel suffocated in any way. So he shoots you a text instead, before stepping into the shower.
When he finally exits the shower, plumes of steam billowing behind him, Buck stops dead in his tracks - because you were there.
Buck blinks and rubs his eyes, wondering if he had conjured you up out of sheer will.
You smile softly, walking up to him and wrapping your arms around his neck. You scratch the curls at the nape of his neck, ones that had been formed with the humidity, and Buck can't help his eyes fluttering closed at just how right it felt.
"Not that I'm complaining, but what are you doing here?" Buck asks gently.
"You seemed down in your text. I wanted to help."
Buck feels stinging in his eyes at your words, at the fact that you knew him so thoroughly with a simple message, and burrows his face into the side of your neck. "Move in with me?" He asks, the words slightly muffled against your skin.
And well, the two other times that Buck had asked his partners to move in with him, there had always been a dull, twinging feeling that warned him that the proposition didn't feel right. But this time? Buck felt the certainty rooted deep into the marrow of his bones.
You look at him with bright eyes, and an even brighter smile. "Yes."
summary: Pathological People Pleaser- capital P. That’s you. Life is a helluva lot easier when no one can hurt you- not if you never give anyone substantial pieces of yourself. Too bad Evan “Buck” Buckley takes issue with this.
cw: reader is a grade A pathological people pleaser so all the angst and issues that come with that, canon-typical gore/violence (they are firefighters/paramedics)
tags/tropes: coworkers to lovers (hr HATES these two) bobby knowing everything about these two but letting them work it out anyway, team as a family, BUCK IS BOBBY’S KID IDC WHAT ANYONE SAYS, also Buck being really sweet and nice (and reader having no idea what to do with this)
a/n: tbh this reader is really just a girl. this fic is extremely inspired by Love Theoretically by Ali Hazelwood, which, my dear followers, if you'll recall, is my favorite romance book ever (!!!!!) also no one say reader isn't realistic bc i based her internal dialogue and worries off of my real life experiences as a recovered people pleaser (there is hope for us)
credit to @bookshelf-dust for the in house arson investigator idea !! super brilliant and perfect !! go read their stuff !!
title taken from Goddess from Laufey!
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‘Who could ever leave me darling, but who could stay?
Cause they see right through me//Can you see right through me?
-The Archer, Taylor Swift
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₊˚⊹♡
Firefighter Evan “Buck” Buckley confuses you.
You’ve only been with the 118 for about two months. You’d be lying if you said the action and excitement of actually working with the firefighters on calls didn’t excite you to come to work— something you thought you’d never say.
And the team is great. You were nervous as hell at first. Suddenly being out on calls is exciting now, but scary as shit at first. You were much too used to your boring desk job. Plus, the firefighters were all intimidating in their own ways- Hen and Bobby the most.
Hen, because you totally look up to her and admire her ability to just… do whatever and say whatever and not worry what other people think. She holds her head high, and you’re more than a little envious.
Bobby, because he’s your captain, and you need to prove your worth as an addition to the team.
Slowly but surely, you began to solidify your presence as a team member. You aren’t sensitive to the blood and gore they see on calls which definitely won you points with Hen and Chimney, and you aren’t a pushover- you’re willing to put your foot down when push comes to shove. Plus, not to brag, but you’re damn good at your job.
After a month, you’d gotten everything down pat. What’s the right thing to say, what isn’t the right thing to say. What to do so the team trusts you, what to do so they don’t ask too many questions, how to correctly come across to them as a capable person. How to seem normal and well-adjusted and fine. What normal looks like to them.
With the exception of Evan Buckley.
You just… can’t get a read on him. Ever. He’s nice and smart and funny (and ridiculously attractive, like seriously, it’s not even fair) but no one is that nice and smart and funny (and ridiculously attractive.)
You don’t like talking to him because he’s been more than a little sweet on you since day one. And obviously it's not serious and he doesn't mean it, just friendly camaraderie, but. But but but but but. It catches you off guard without fail every single time. Because every single time you talk to him, you get the very distinct sense that he’s looking right though you. That when you’re talking to the rest of the team, perfect smile in place, he can see through you.
It’s more than a little unnerving. It leaves you unsteady and wrong-footed. Like you’re never sure what exactly to say or how to act.
So you mostly just avoid him. You’re thankful that you’re only the arson investigator, because if you’d actually been a real firefighter, avoiding him would be a million times harder. As it stands, it’s fairly easy to do it without being obvious.
Or so you think.
“Is something wrong Captain Nash?” You ask, shutting the door behind you in his office.
Bobby rolls his eyes. “I’ve told you to just call me Bobby.”
“I think the second I do, my parents will appear in the room and lecture me about respect and manners.”
You sit as he gestures, watching with almost perfectly concealed apprehension as he laces his fingers.
“Did Buck say something to you?”
What.
“What?”
“Firefighter Buckley,” Bobby clarifies, as if that was the part of the question that needed specification. “I’ve noticed that you tend to avoid him when possible. You’re good at it, I’ll give you that. No one else has noticed.”
Heat rushes to your cheeks at the admission of being caught.
“How could you tell?” You ask instead of answering his question.
Bobby just shrugs. “I have three kids. This isn’t my first rodeo. Now, you mind telling me what exactly is going on here?”
You’re not really sure you can explain this to him without one, sounding like a crazy person, and two, having him lose all the respect you’ve worked hard to build with him.
You settle for the super abridged version.
“Buck… makes me nervous. I’ve had some bad experiences with men that acted like him before, so. I’m over it, of course, I’m fine he just… sets me on edge a little. I’m not like, afraid of him or anything.”
You are actually afraid of him a little. Because if he really does see through you then what’s stopping him from ripping the current back? Giving everyone a good look into your ugly and raw? What’s stopping him from leaving you exposed?
Bobby hums, contemplating.
“You don’t trust him.”
“I wouldn’t say that,” You rush to amend, heart starting to race. Fix it fix it fix it fix it— “I do trust him. I know he’d never hurt me, or anyone else for that matter, he’s a great guy—“
Bobby leans back in his seat. “He’s a genuinely nice guy, and you don’t know how to deal with that, so you avoid him. You don’t trust that he’s genuine.”
Too close too close too close too close—
Smile. Laugh. Look down for a few seconds. Raise head, hold eye-contact. Speak.
“Nothing like that,” Smile. “Just takes some time for a girl to get used to all the facts that tend to come with him. I could’ve done without the one about heart worms before lunch.”
Laugh.
“Oh, you have no idea. Imagine being present when he actually got to assist on a tapeworm removal. I was put off noodles entirely for months.”
Now Bobby laughs, a real one, so you laugh with him, and you feel a little safer, the conversation back in your control.
“I promise, there’s nothing between me and Buck. Just new-girl nerves.”
Flash a smile, appease the man.
“If that’s all, then you’re free to go. Keep up the good work.”
You stand, one hand on the edge of the armrest of the chair to hide the minute tremors in your hand. You hold your breath as you leave Bobby’s office, breathing tiny, quick breaths through your nose until you make it to the safety of your office, closing the door behind you and all but collapsing into your chair.
That was… close. You must’ve let your guard down around Bobby. His personality and dad-aura are so disarming. You hadn’t even realized he’d been watching you that close. He read you a little too easily and a little too quickly. That was too close. What if he had—
A knock on your door snaps you ramrod straight, posture perfect and easy expression snapped into place in seconds.
It takes everything in you not to deflate when you see who walks through the door.
“Buck?”
“Sorry, sorry,” He raises his hands in mock surrender, “I know you don’t like me in here, I’ll be quick. I just need that file from that warehouse fire case?”
You frown as you search your filing cabinet for the case file. “I’ve never said I didn’t like you in here.”
“Yeah, not as much as said as implied.”
“I don’t mind you in here. It’s just an office.”
You’re not sure what he wants you to say. Does he want you to agree with him, tell him you don’t want him in here, make him right? Does he want you to tell him that he’s welcome in your office?
What does he want?
He shrugs in the corner of your eye, hands in his pockets, and you honestly have to physically restrain yourself from staring at the muscles of his arms as they move and tense with the motion. It’s very conflicting: him being the unending source of the late-night fantasies you pretend not to indulge in to fall asleep, hugging a pillow, and the fact that he’s the reason you’ve considered going on anxiety medication.
“…Are you okay?”
You’re abruptly reminded that he’s still in your office and you’re still having a conversation and your grip has at some point turned crushing on the case file.
“Oh, yeah,” Smile, look down, laugh. Look up(?) “Long night last night. Didn’t get much sleep.”
He cocks his head, the action reminiscent of a dog. He really is a golden retriever. You should really stop thinking about Buck so much.
“I thought you went home early last night?”
Your smile wavers.
Laugh(?) put the case file down. Take a sip of coffee, smile(?)
“You know how it is. Work never quite ends at work.”
He doesn’t skip a beat before speaking.
“Why do you do that?”
Something cold starts to drip down your neck. An icy chill of dread.
“Do what?”
“That lying thing.”
Smile? Laugh? Sit down?
Your other hand comes up to cup your coffee. “As far as I know, I don’t have a lying thing.” You huff a breathy laugh, but it comes out wrong. More wheezing and choked than a laugh.
He leans back against the wall of your office, crossing his arms. “Yeah you do. Like, sure, maybe you did have a late night, but none of those expressions or smiles were real. You like, lie with your face.”
You feel cold and hot at the same time. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Do you want this case file?”
“No, you know what I’m talking about. Is it conscious? Is it like code-switching? Nah, this is too—“
“Buck!” You snap, skin crawling, “Would you please just take this file and go?”
He snaps his fingers, pointing at you. “There! That’s real. That was a real expression.”
You forcibly smooth your face out, trying to project the calm you don’t feel. “Me getting annoyed with you?”
“Yeah,” He chuckles a little, a small smile on his face. “Just for a second, you looked real.”
You blink. Pause. Turn his words over in your head.
“You don’t really need this case file, do you?”
“Nope.”
You set the mug down, ignoring the way your tremors increased at your little outburst. “So you just came to what? Get under my skin? Disturb me while I’m working?”
He taps a boot on the floor. “Kind of. It’s my turn to be the man behind, and this beats mopping.”
This time, the flat glare you send him is intentional. “You really know how to make a girl feel special.”
“I don’t know. You don’t seem as rigid as you did a few minutes ago.”
You stiffen your posture on instinct. “It’s called posture.”
“That’s not posture. That’s fear.”
His tone is light and joking, but his words hit their mark. Or maybe there isn’t a mark, and he just stabs your metaphorical bullseye anyway.
You shuffle in place, skin prickling under his gaze. “Is there a reason we’re having this conversation?”
“Is there a reason we shouldn’t?”
You stare at your shoes, face hot. This is uncharted territory. The end-all-be-all of terrible conversations.
“Well for one, it’s terribly awkward, and two, I don’t see why you felt the need to call me a liar to my face.”
Buck pushes off the wall. “Okay, that’s not what I meant by that—“
“No, I think you meant what you said.”
He sighs. “Can we start over?”
“Why?”
“Because I feel like you have this misconception about me, and it would really suck if a pretty girl didn’t like me just because we got off on the wrong foot.”
PRETTY?
“You think I’m pretty?”
You slap a hand over your mouth. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to say that.”
He smirks, a mischievous thing pulling at his lips. “No, I think you meant what you said.” He says, mimicking your earlier words.
You press your hands into your face, exhaling hard.
“Well, if your goal was to make me uncomfortable, you’ve definitely succeeded.”
“Aw, that’s no good. That’s the opposite of what I wanted.”
The gears in your brain turn.
“You came here… because you wanted me to be more comfortable around you?”
He snaps his fingers. “Ding ding ding!”
You frown. “So your plan to make me more comfortable around you was to call me a liar and purposefully get under my skin?”
Your words hang in silence for a moment.
“Well when you put it like that—“
“Is there another way to put it?”
“The plan was to get you to see that nothing bad is gonna happen if you stop doing that face-lying-thing. I mean, you haven’t been doing it for the duration of this conversation and the world hasn’t ended, right?”
You look away. “That’s because I can’t pretend with you. It always falls apart. You freak me out.”
His brows furrow. “I freak you out?”
“Yes!” You snap whipping your head back to face him, “Other people put out, like, signals, you know. What kind of people they like and dislike, and I pick up on them, and avoid the parts they don’t like and play up the parts they do like. But you don’t put out anything! I don’t know what you want.”
Buck is silent for several moments. It’s unnerving.
“Have you ever considered that maybe I just like you?”
You blink. Look away. Cross your arms.
“You know,” He continues, voice a little softer, “I have a habit of liking people just as they are. Bobby tells me it’s one of my better qualities.”
“Is planning difficult conversations one of your lesser qualities?”
“You’re not going to let that go, are you?”
“No.”
It’s easier to focus and talk about the less serious parts of this entire situation than even think about what he just said.
“How about this,” He says after you don’t speak again. “If you’re gonna fake something, or pretend you feel one way about something, you have to come tell me the truth about how you really feel.”
“Well that sounds terrible. What do you get out of it?”
He smiles, folding his hands behind his back. “You agree to let me take you on a date.”
Your face is practically on fire. Evan Buckley is asking you on a date. Buck is asking you on a date.
“Oh.”
That’s all you manage to get out. Oh.
He frowns. “Are you oka—“
You smash your face into your hands, hiding your flushed and flustered face from view. “Just— just give me a second.”
You attempt to slow your racing heart, all to aware of the fact that Buck is still in the room, still looking at you.
“…Can you turn around?”
You hear a quiet little huff, then the shuffling of footsteps, signifying he is in fact no longer looking at you.
“If I’d known you’d be this excited at the idea—“
“Shut up or I’ll say no.”
He just hums, voice teasing. “I don’t think you will.”
“I might.”
“Mm. Nope.”
“I could.”
“You won’t.”
“I won’t,” You grumble, dropping your hands. “Okay fine, I’ll do it, but when I tell you… stuff, you don’t get to make fun of me for whatever it is.”
“I really think you have the wrong idea of who I am as a person.”
“I’ve seen how you make fun of Eddie.”
“Well, that’s Eddie. It’s like, bro code.”
“Ew.”
“Having friends is gross?”
“Yes. Get out of my office.”
He turns around, grabbing his chest, feigning pain. “Oh the hurt. The pain.”
“You’ll survive, I’m sure. You’re a big boy.”
Okay what the fuck are you saying right now. Can’t god just strike you down? Can’t some old water damage cause the ceiling to come down on you?
Buck takes it in stride, laughing loudly, though if you look close, you can see a pink tinge to his cheeks.
“So when are you free for our date?”
He waggles his eyebrows suggestively over the word date, and you despise the flush it brings to your face. And ears. And neck.
“Um. Saturday?”
“Cool. You have my number, right?”
You nod.
“I’ll text you the details later this week. And hey, look at me.”
He waits until you look up. “You aren’t allowed to spend the rest of this week stressing about it, okay? It’s gonna be fun, and nice."
He opens the door to your office, ducking half out before turning around. “Remember: fun and nice.”
And then he’s gone. Then you’re just an idiot standing in your office, face hot and tingling.
He called you pretty.
—
Buck's request is difficult to follow through on. Like, sure, you agreed to it, but you still don't really understand why he wants to know this. The things that go on in your head that you don't tell anyone about. He said he got a date out of (a date, you're going on a date with Evan Buckley--) but is that really... anything?
Is it a real date? Or just some little fling? And why, exactly, is the date something he considers a fair trade? Like sure, he's hot -incredibly so- and every time you think about the date your heart speeds up and million questions run through your head, like will he pick you up, is he the type to bring flowers, where are you going for the date, all of those things.
You wince from your spot on the couch upstairs, papers strewn across the table in front of you.
"Dammit," You mutter, holding a finger up to the lip that you've chewed to shreds, now bleeding steadily, blood beginning to trickle down your chin.
A napkin appears in your line of sight, and you take it from Hen gratefully.
"Thanks."
She just nods. "Something on your mind?"
You blink, a little questioning.
"Your lip," She gestures to it. "You always chew it when you're thinking about something troubling. Is this about that new case?"
"Ah," You breathe, a small shiver running down your spine at her words. Being perceived is weird. "No actually. It's..."
You decide to be honest. News will get out anyway, and Hen appreciates truthfullness. "It's about Buck."
She raises an eyebrow. "Oh?"
You shuffle the papers in front of you, hands itching for something to do, "We're going on a date on Saturday."
"Oh!" She exclaims, settling on the couch across from you. "That's... surprising. I was under the impression you didn't really care for him."
Your face heats. "That's kind of why we're going on the date. He wants to... make me more comfortable. Those were his words."
"Interesting method."
You shrug. "It's Buck."
Hen nods, a chuckle escaping her lips. "I'm guessing you're not so sure about it?"
"It's not that. I just," you debate your next words carefully, weighing the options, wondering if you should even say them, but Hen's face is open and non-judgmental, and she knows when not to gossip.
"I haven't been on a date in awhile," You admit, "Or many at all, really. I don't know what to expect."
Your hands still on the papers. "I... don't do well when I don't know what to expect."
Hen nods. "I get it. But I can tell you with absolute certainty that Buck will do everything in his power to make the date as 'comfortable'," She does finger quotes around the word, "As possible. It took him a couple tries to get here, but. He's got a good heart."
You can't help the small frown at her words. "I know."
Hen tilts her head, squinting. "Do you? Cause it seems like you aren't so sure."
Smile. Laugh.
"Well," You laugh a small, breathy thing. "In my experience, no one is that nice."
Hen snorts. "Okay, true. But Buck's been through a lot. What he may lack in tact he makes up for in earnest effort."
She stands, and levels you with a look you try hard not to whither behind. "Give him a chance. And try not to break his heart."
You smile, hoping it doesn't look as brittle as it feels. "I'll try not to."
Though I'm not sure he'll be the one getting his heart broken.
--
Buck is careful not to bother you too much at work. He still sets you on edge in that "I see through you" way of his, but he's right- nothing terrible has happened since your conversation. If anything, he's almost... gentler, in his good natured ribbing and such. He's actually rather attentive.
"Okay," He murmurs next to you at the table, most of the others finished with their food , plates cleared and being washed. "You've got your fake smile on, so spill."
You elbow him. "Cool it, Buckley."
"Great meal, Cap!" You call out to the Captain, who sends you a quick smile from the sink.
You spear a stem of asparagus prepared honestly perfectly by Bobby, and lean over to Buck. "Fine. You really wanna know?"
"Uh, yeah."
You take a huge bite, smiling as you swallow. "I hate asparagus."
Buck's eyebrows shoot up. "Are you serious? That's such a small thing to care about."
You glance up to ensure nobody's eavesdropping. "Bobby works really hard on everything he makes! I don't want any of it to go to waste or to seem unappreciative."
"Okay, we're really going to have to have a talk about your perception of everyone," He elbows you back, "Come on. Bobby would not be offended if you don't eat the vegetables because you don't like asparagus period. It's not like you're even saying you don't like his cooking!"
You take another bite. Only A few left. "Better safe than sorry."
"Stop eating them--"
"I have to finish them!"
"Something wrong over there?" Bobby's voice rings out over the kitchen.
"Nope!" You call back.
"Actually," Buck starts, ignoring your furious elbowing, "Our little investigator over here doesn't like asparagus."
Bobby tilts his head with a smile. "Why didn't you say something?"
Your stomach lurches. Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god-- "I... didn't want you to be offended?"
"Why would I be offended that you don't like asparagus?"
"Because you cooked it?"
He shakes his head. "Not how things work around here. If you don't like something, you don't have to eat it."
Your face feels like it's on fire and your palms are sweating and you kind of feel a little nauseous. But that might be the asparagus. "Right. Okay. Thanks."
Bobby goes back to loading the dishwasher, and the others are no longer paying attention, so you lower your forehead to the table, grateful that Buck moves your plate away before your head can meet your now unfinished vegetables.
"Why did you do that?"
"Because asparagus is a dumb thing to be worried about," He says, voice light and cheery.
"It was a valid concern," You mumble.
"Maybe in your head. But not quite in reality," He rubs your back consolingly a few times, though all the action does is rile you up more. You're suddenly hyper-aware of the fact that you're still sitting here and you actually can't see if the others are still looking and oh god maybe Bobby is upset because you're an adult, you should've known that and--
"I can physically feel how tense you just got."
Oh. Right. His hand is still on your back.
"Relax," He drags out the word, his voice low and deep, "No one is going to spontaneously hate you. I sure don't."
"You don't count."
"Mm, how come?"
You're glad your face is currently hidden by the table, because you flush when you mumble the next words.
"Cause you think I'm pretty."
"I do," He amends, "But I'm not sure that discounts my opinion. IF anything, it doubles it."
"That's not how that works."
"It's not?"
"No."
He leans in, his breath tickling your ear. "Prove me wrong, then."
--
Saturday approaches and your anxiety increases. Buck had in deed texted you the details -which did, actually, make you feel better, knowing a bit of what to expect and having it in writing.
When Saturday arrives and the clock inches closer to the time he said he'd pick you up, you start to question if any of this was a good idea.
Everything collapses when you have to pick an outfit. Nothing seems right- everything is either too much or not enough. You blink the tears out of your eyes because you spent too long on your makeup to ruin it, and Buck's gonna be here soon and you need to just pick something--
A knock sounds at your door and you gasp. Shit.
You rush to the front door, and wrench it open.
"Hi I'm so sorry I'm not ready yet- oh my god are those flowers?"
Buck takes the rush of words in stride, smiling and holding the bouquet out to you. "They are."
You take the flowers with reverence, the gentle, floral aroma soothing your senses.
"Are... you okay?"
You blink, not realizing that tears had begun to well up in your eyes again. "What? Oh, yeah. Sorry. I'm a little... frazzled."
His gaze darts down. "Is that why you don't have pants on?"
You're almost one hundred percent sure you burst into flames right then and there. And if you don't, you seriously hope you do.
"Oh my god- don't look, I'll be right back, uh, please come inside and close the door!"
You race back into your room and shut the door, throwing on the closest pair of pants- which happen to be the fuzzy, old, candy heart-print pajama pants you took on three hours ago when you started getting ready.
You step back out, now sporting a wonderful outfit consisting of your black, rather nicely fitting going out top and fluffy pajama pants.
"I'll be ready in about fifteen minutes, sorry about the," You pause, swallowing your embarrassment, "Lack of pants."
He chuckles, laughing that nice little Buck laugh that settles your nerves a bit. "Hey, I wasn't complaining. I asked for the real you and this has all been very real."
Your never-ending flush revives itself as he speaks. "I"m really sorry, I'm usually more put together than this, I promise."
He takes a step toward you. "Remember why we're going on this date?"
A beat passes.
Buck takes another step. "To make you more comfortable with me. And the team, but mostly me."
You laugh a little, a nervous thing.
"But you don't seem very comfortable right now." His hands rise to the your waist, sliding down to your hips.
"Sorry," You say on instinct.
He huffs. "Still don't think you're getting the point of this. Okay, what was the big stressor of tonight, besides the actual date part?"
You look down at your feet. "My outfit."
"Well," He says, squeezing your waist and very clearly enjoying the little squeak you let out at the action, "Then why don't we sollve that by..."
Your heart siezes. Oh god, you're not ready to sleep with him, you haven't had your everything shower because it was only the first date and you didn't think--
"...Staying in tonight? I can order some takeout and we can watch a movie."
Oh.
"But your reservation--"
"Can be called and cancelled," He soothes. "I only want to do things you're comfortable with. That was the whole point of this date."
Later, after you both stuffed your faces with takeout graciously ordered by Buck, and both of you cuddled up on the couch (!) you let yourself speak.
"Buck?"
"Hmm?"
"Sorry for freaking out earlier," You curl your arm around his bicep, face smashed into the side of it while you (pretend) to watch the movie. "Thanks for... this. And the flowers."
"You really like those flowers, huh?"
"Mhm. They're really pretty. No one's ever gotten me flowers before."
"What? No way."
"Well. I haven't ever gotten flowers from a date or boyfriend," You stumble over the word boyfriend, "But like, you know. Graduations and stuff."
"Guess we're going to have to fix that, then."
"We are?"
He raises a brow. "You didn't think I was gonna stop at one date, did you?"
"Well it was kind of a mess."
He shrugs. "On one of my first dates, I choked on bread and my date at the time had to perform a tracheotomy with a ballpoint pen."
You gape at him. "Those are real?"
He traces a finger over the thin, silver scar on his throat. "Yep. So trust me, this date turned out fine. I actually uh,"
He flushes a little, a dusting of red on his cheeks. "I actually really enjoyed tonight."
You chew your lip, nervous and scared but all the sudden deciding that you're going to get over yourself and do something. No matter how small.
You stare at the end credits. "You wanna watch another movie?"
"Absolutely. More takeout?"
"I don't know how you can even think about eating more. But I do have popcorn in the pantry."
He presses a quick, soft little kiss to your cheek. "Perfect."
Hi! I requested the Buck fic and love it! You never ever have to apologize for long fics. It's amazing.
I have one more very fluffy request if you'd like.... Buck x reader again. Something where early in their relationship he calls her pretty girl and she just MELTS all the blushing bashful giggling and he loves it so he uses the nickname regularly. And then he proposes and says something like how he hopes she has that same adorable reaction forever.
pairing: evan buckley x fem!reader
warnings: some allusion to sex but no smut / it isn't explicit. light editing. i love to yap! hope u like it <3
word count: 2.4k / masterlist
Pet names weren’t something that Buck used very often with partners – almost exclusively, they were used only when being intimate with someone, either emotionally or physically. Buck hasn’t been in too many serious relationships, and the ones he has been in never called for it. Taylor thought they were embarrassing, only letting him call her honey in the safety of their shared four walls. Tommy thought they were a little childish, only allowing them to slip out when Buck was drunk. Abby was his first real relationship, and she was older, so he didn’t even think to use them with her.
So when you had called him baby the first time, casually when he first met your friends, he was caught off guard. You had invited him to your friend's birthday dinner, your first time introducing them to the guy you were seeing. You two hadn’t even officially put a label on your relationship yet.
It was like second nature for you when you placed a hand on his shoulder to get his attention, where he was talking to one of your other friend’s boyfriend, leaning in to ask, “Baby, could you pass me the salt?”
His cheeks had reddened at the affection, and he let himself indulge in the pet name for the first time, grabbing the salt and handing it to you with a, “Here you go, honey”. It earned him one of your pretty smiles and a kiss on the cheek. A little over a year later, he uses them more than your name.
He’s used a plethora of them: baby, honey, sweetheart. When he’s drunk, he likes to use more embarrassing ones: shnookums, honey bear, boobear, honeypie, sugar baby (you hate this one, it makes him laugh so you let it slide). He gets teased more for using them more than you for getting called them, but they bring a smile to your face and when he’s lucky he gets to hear your laugh and it makes it worth it to him.
“Buck?”
“Kitchen!”
You place your keys in the bowl near the entryway and hang your cardigan on the hook before making your way further into Buck’s house. You’re greeted with the view of your boyfriend in an apron, stirring something on the stove and simultaneously checking whatever’s in the oven. You can’t help the smile that spreads on your face when you hear his faint humming to the music coming out of his phone that’s resting on the counter.
“You’re home!” Buck calls out, eyes bright and wide smile as he puts the lid back on the pot and lowers the flame on the stove. You don’t correct him when he calls this your home despite you not living there, considering you’re at his house nearly everyday, so often he just expects you to be there when he gets home or when he’s off before you he expects you to walk through the door when you’re off work. On the odd day you decide to head to your apartment, you receive a “Where are you? When are you coming home?” phone call from him (which is why you’ve made a mental note to ask Buck if it’s even worth renewing your lease in two months). “Dinner’ll be ready in, like, fifteen minutes.” He grabs his oven mitts and bends down to take the cupcakes out of the oven. “Could you get the frosting out of the fridge, babe? It’s in the container with the blue lid.”
You head over toward the fridge to grab the frosting, opening the lid before he can ask and placing it near the closest open flame so it can soften quicker. “What kind?”
“Cinnamon frosting for chocolate and vanilla cupcakes,” he lifts the pan with the cupcakes. “They’re for Jee’s class, for her birthday tomorrow.” He picks one of the cupcakes up from the third tray, tilting it toward you. “But I’ve got an extra cupcake for you, cupcake.”
“You’re an angel,” you swoon, watching as he mixes the quickly defrosting icing to spread it on top of your cupcake. “You’re so much more productive on your days off than I am. Cooking and baking for me instead of resting?”
“Just like takin’ care of you,” he mumbles, peeling off the sleeve and holding the cupcake up to your mouth. “Open up, pretty girl.”
Your opened mouth immediately shuts and you pull away from his stretched out hand, causing Buck’s eyebrows to pull in and for him to bring the cupcake closer toward himself and away from you.
“What’s wrong?” He asks, inspecting the cupcake still in his hand. “Does it smell weird? Like, burnt?” He glances back up at you when he doesn’t notice anything immediately wrong with your treat, just to see the flush of color in your face and the way you’re avoiding his gaze. “You okay, pretty girl?” He smiles when you breathe out a laugh, a little relieved that his baking isn’t what short-circuited you. “Is it too warm in here?”
“N-no,” you stutter, reaching out to grasp his wrist and bring the cupcake back up to your mouth, taking a small bite. You hum around it, giving him a little nod. “Delicious, as always.”
“Got something here, pretty girl,” he leans in to kiss the corner of your mouth, licking off the small amount of frosting that’s collected there. His eyebrows furrow in confusion again when you exhale with another laugh, but his smile stays in place. It doesn’t click that it’s the pet name that causes you to spiral, shrugging inwardly and taking a bite from your cupcake, too. “You like it?”
“Like what?” You ask, a little dazed from the pet name and the way he cleaned the icing off your face, but you follow him for another kiss when he pulls away.
“The cupcake,” he says, meeting you again for another kiss when you just nod and beam up at him, then he’s moving back to ice the rest of the cupcakes with your help.
He lets it slip out again two days later when he has to leave you in bed to head to work. After he’s gotten ready to leave, he makes his way back to where you lay in his bed so he can lean down and pepper kisses all over your face.
“Stay,” you whine, dragging out the word and wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him closer to you. He laughs a little as he basically stumbles on top of you, catching his weight by planting his palms on the mattress, bracketing you between his arms. .
“I’ll be back before you know it, pretty girl,” he promises, pecking you with three kisses and smiling when you giggle into it. He doesn’t miss the way your grip on him tightens, but he chalks it up to you not wanting him to leave. Once he whispers an I love you into your neck, giving you one last kiss there, he’s off.
The next time he lets it out, and when he realizes it has an effect on you, is when he’s on top of you, his hands roaming underneath your (his) shirt while his mouth trails open-mouthed kisses across your stomach.
“So pretty,” he mumbles against your skin, “so, so pretty.” He pulls away to crawl back up, giving you a proper kiss, which you return enthusiastically, pulling at his curls a little rougher than you intend to, but he moans into your kiss before you can apologize. “My pretty girl.” He pulls away to glance at you when you tug his hair in a way that makes him think you want him to stop, his name slipping past your lips in a broken plea. He’s about to ask if he did something wrong until he notices the flush on your face. It isn’t warm in here and you two haven’t done much to work you up enough to get you so hot. So… “Oh,” his smiles, dangerously close to smug, “you like that?”
“Buck,” you whine, turning your face away from him and into the pillows. Your stomach swoops at the sound of his laugh, not fighting him when he gently grips your chin to turn you back to look at him. “Don’t make fun of me.”
“Never,” he promises, leaning down to kiss you again. He laughs when you begin to squirm underneath him, pulling away just enough to whisper, “I’ll take care of you, pretty girl. Don’t worry.”
It comes more frequently after that, with him never calling too much attention to it. You get a “good job, pretty girl,” when you nail his new recipe on the first try, a “missed you, pretty girl,” when he gets home from a twenty-four hour shift, any time he can call you that he can. Just to pull that giggle out of you, that flush that spreads across your face, sometimes even across your neck and chest.
One day, two months later, you come home (yes, home. Buck finally convinced you to move in all the way) and the lights are dim with the smell of your favorite dish wafting throughout the house, the stove being on, warms the entire home.
“That you, baby?” He calls out, turning when he hears your footsteps near the entry door to the kitchen. He steps away after turning the stovetop off, taking three long strides over toward you and wrapping his arms around your waist, lifting you gently in your embrace. “Happy anniversary,” he mumbles into your shoulder, placing light kisses along the exposed skin there.
“Happy anniversary,” you say back, voice muffled where you have your face buried in his neck. He places you down and pulls away just enough to press a brief kiss to your lips. “You made my favorite.”
“I did,” he nudges you toward the table, pulling your seat out for you. “It’s also what you ordered on our first date.”
“Mmm, I remember,” you say around a smile, watching him flit around the kitchen as he plates your meal and uncorks a bottle of wine – one you notice is the same wine you had on your first date. “You recreating our first date, Buckley? Aren’t you a big ol’romantic.”
“Uh, yeah. Something like that,” he mumbles, finally setting everything on the table and sitting across from you. “Just wanted to celebrate all the steps we’re taking. A year in, you finally moved in…” he trails off at the end, watching as you pick up the wine to fill up his glass first and then your own. His eyes move down the slopes of your face and the way that your cardigan is slightly slipping off your shoulder. He leans over to pull it up, causing you to glance back at him. “You’re so pretty,” he mumbles, not even meaning to make you bashful.
“Yeah,” you lightly scoff, grabbing his hand that was still fixated near your shoulder, bringing your clasped hands to rest on top of the table. “You’re being nice. I haven’t looked at a mirror in, like, ten hours, but I’m sure I look a little rough.” You smile when Buck starts to shake his head halfway through your complaint, feeling him squeeze your hand.
“My pretty girl forever,” he gently argues, his free hand digging into his front pocket. He pulls his hand out and stretches it toward you, urging you to give him your other hand. Your eyebrows furrow at the fist he’s making, but you give in and rest your other hand between you, palm up so he can hold yours. Except he doesn’t hold your hand, he lays his palm on top of yours long enough to drop whatever he fished out of his pocket into your hand.
“We said no gifts!” You start to say, the argument falling short when you look down to see a ring in your palm. “W–what’s this?”
“It’s forever,” he tries to say casually, but his voice shakes with the nerves that nearly shock his entire system. “If you want it,” he quickly adds, “because… because I want it. With you.” He watches you stare at the ring, your fingers turning it over to inspect it. Your silence makes his stomach turn—maybe it was too soon. You’ve only been together a year, you just moved in officially a couple of weeks ago. So, he keeps talking. “We don’t have to get married right away, obviously. We can… we can stay engaged for, like, a year. It doesn’t even have to be an engagement ring!” He gets up from his seat, rounding the table to kneel in front of it, biting back a wince when he bends his knee. “It—you can tell people it’s a promise ring, y’know? Just… just wear it on your right hand instead.”
“Yes.”
“Okay, great,” he quickly pinches the ring from you and places it on the ring finger on your right hand, misunderstanding your confirmation to his proposal. “Perfect. Perfect. A promise f-for forever.”
“Buck,” you breathe out his name, shaking your head with a little laugh as you remove the ring and place it on your left hand, where it belongs. “Of course I’ll marry you, are you kidding?” You bring your hand up to inspect the ring, your face hurting from the wide smile that’s split across your face. “Holy shit!” You yell around a laugh, finally looking at Buck, taking his confused face between your hands and pressing quick kisses all over it. “We’re getting married!”
“We’re getting married?” He asks, but it comes out muffled because of the way you’re pushing his cheeks in. When it registers that your yes was to his initial proposal he jumps up from his kneeled position, ignoring the ache he feels in his knee from the quick movement. His hands find yours on his face, pulling you up with him. “We’re getting married!” He cheers, wrapping his arms around your waist and lifting you up, adjusting you accordingly when you wrap your legs around him. “Holy shit, you said yes.”
“Of course I said yes!” You laugh, lowering your face to meet him halfway in a kiss.
“Oh, my God,” he breathes out when you pull away, shaking his head at you. “No take back’s.”
“No take back’s,” you agree, rolling your eyes at the absurdity of that thought. “You and me forever, Buckley.”
“Yeah,” he whispers, one of his hands skating up the length of your back to cup the back of your neck and pull you in for another kiss. “You and me forever, pretty girl.”
//Summary// After so many terrible dates, you always seem to find yourself coming back to Buck’s loft.
//Word Count// 5.58k
//Request// smut prompts #2 & #4
//Warnings// smutty smut smut :)), Evan Buckley being a certified munch, lazy handjobs, p in v sex, and possessive talk
//Dividers// sister-lucifer
"Oh, goddamn it."
Here you are, standing outside Buck's loft door at 10:00 at night with a six-pack of beer in hand as you contemplate your life choices.
Your latest date had been a complete and total disaster.
The man was loud, obnoxious, and a bit too handsy for your taste. So, you left the date early feeling frustrated and angry. All you want to do is relax and complain to your best friend.
Reaching into your pocket, you pull out your key to Buck's place. Letting yourself in, you sigh quietly as you slip your jacket off. The loft is empty and quiet.
"Buck?" You call out, setting the beer in the fridge.
Maybe he’s in the shower? Or asleep? You don’t get a response, so you head into the living room, flopping down onto Buck’s new couch with a huff.
You lean your head back against the couch, your eyes fluttering shut as you sigh heavily. As you sit there mentally cursing out your dumb date, the sound of footsteps causes you to open your exhausted (e/c) eyes, looking over at the source of the noise; it’s Buck, walking out of his steaming bathroom.
Completely naked.
You immediately turned red, quickly looking away and sitting up. "Jesus Christ," you blurt out, feeling your heart pound in your chest. "Buck, for god's sake, a towel please." You keep your eyes trained on the wall in front of you, refusing to look at your equally embarrassed friend.
"Oh—oh god, I didn’t know you came in!” Buck mumbles, grabbing a discarded towel from the bathroom floor and wrapping it around his waist.
Well, now you understand how he got the nickname Firehose.
"How long have you been here?"
"Not long." You mutter, still refusing to look at him. The image of his bare chest is burned into your brain. What you wouldn’t give to rake your fingers over his toned muscles—
Nope. Stop. No, nope. Bad thoughts.
“I’m just uh, gonna go grab some clothes.” Buck practically scurries away, disappearing up the stairs to his bedroom. You exhale, letting out a deep breath you didn’t even know you were holding.
Finally looking away from the wall, you bury your face in your hands.
This is bad. You and Buck are just friends. Nothing more, nothing less. You need to get these feelings under control, but it’s so, so hard.
Buck emerges a moment later, thankfully with underwear and sweatpants on, although his chest is still bare. You try not to stare at his toned upper body as he shuffles back over to the couch, plopping himself down next to you; leaving little to no space. You desperately try not to think about it.
"S-so, how was your date?" He asks, his voice is casual but a tinge of tension in his words.
You try not to grimace as you remember the disaster that had been your evening. “Ugh, it was terrible. He was so loud and obnoxious, it was awful.” You sigh heavily, shaking your head. “I don’t know why I keep going on these stupid dates, honestly.”
Buck shifts next to you, his shoulder brushing against your arm, sending a shiver down your spine. He’s so close, that you can practically feel the warmth radiating off of his body. It’s driving you crazy.
You suddenly jerk forward, rubbing your sweaty palms on your dress as you stand, “I uh, I got us beer—to drink. Do you want one?”
Smooth, real smooth (y/n).
Buck nods, his eyes following you as you walk away, his gaze trailing down your body hungrily. He can’t help it, the sight of your curves in that tight (f/c) dress is so damn distracting. He swallows hard, tearing his eyes away from you as you disappear into the kitchen.
You open the fridge door, the cool air hitting your flushed face. You take a deep breath, trying to calm yourself. You need to stop reacting this way to him, you and Buck are just friends. No matter what your stupid heart may think.
You grab a couple of beers, opening one for Buck and one for yourself. Heading back into the living room, you desperately try to get your thoughts under control.
Buck’s in the same spot as before when you come back, his arm stretched out along the back of the couch. You hand him the beer and sit back down on the couch, putting a little distance between you this time.
As you get comfortable, you take a long swig of your drink. Buck does the same, his eyes flicking over to you as he does.
The tension in the room feels thick as if you could slice through it with a knife. You take another sip of beer, glancing over at Buck. He’s still looking at you, his eyes roaming over your face. It’s making you nervous.
“What?” You ask, lifting an eyebrow at him.
"Hm?" Buck seems to snap out of his thoughts, blinking at you. "Oh, uh, nothing—Just thinking." He replies, looking away quickly and taking another drink of beer.
You along nod awkwardly, taking another sip of your beer as you try to ignore the way Buck’s eyes still glance at you,“Don’t strain yourself too hard.”
Buck snorts, rolling his eyes at your sarcastic comment. The corner of his lips twitch upwards, a small smirk growing on his face. But the smirk fades quickly, a flicker of something you can’t quite place flashing across his eyes.
"You’re just hilarious, y'know that?” He teases, but there’s an undertone to it that you can’t quite put your finger on.
You roll your eyes at him, though your heart skips a beat at his smirk. You’re suddenly very aware of how close you two have gotten again, the heat from his body practically seeping through his clothes onto your own skin.
“Damn right, I am.” You snark back at him, taking another drink of beer as you try to ignore the way your heart is pounding in your chest.
Buck lets out a soft laugh, his eyes locking on yours again. The smirk on his face fades as he takes a deep breath, seeming to come to some kind of decision. He shifts closer, his body leaning slightly into yours.
"Can I ask you something?"
You involuntarily tense up, your heart slamming in your chest. His sudden shift in demeanor can’t help but make you nervous, you take a deep breath to steady yourself.
“Sure, yeah.” You say, trying to keep your voice even. You turn towards him, meeting his gaze with your own. “What’s up?”
Buck hesitates for a moment, his tongue darting out as he wets his lips. He’s so close to you now, his face only a few inches away from yours. When he speaks, his voice is quieter than before, barely above a whisper.
"Why do you keep going on these dates?"
His question catches you off guard, making your stomach twist into knots. You certainly hadn’t been expecting him to ask that. You take a deep breath, trying to keep your composure. You can feel your heart racing, the sound of it drumming in your ears.
"I, uh, I don’t know. Does-Does it really matter?" You reply, trying to keep your voice casual. But you can feel yourself start to fidget with your fingers nervously.
Buck watches you for a moment, his eyes scanning over your face. His hand moves, reaching up to brush a strand of hair from your face. The touch is gentle, his fingers tracing lightly along your cheek.
"Yeah, it matters." He says, his voice soft. "It matters because all these dates are doing is making you miserable. I hate seeing you like this."
Your breath catches in your chest as his fingers lightly trail along your skin, sending a shiver down your spine. You can feel your self-control slipping, your heart and mind warring with each other. You want to lean into his touch, but at the same time, you know you need to keep your distance.
"It’s fine, Buck. I promise." You manage to say, but the shakiness in your voice betrays your words.
Buck’s hand moves to cup your cheek, his thumb tracing over your skin. His eyes are still fixed on yours, his gaze intense and unwavering.
"No, it's not." He says firmly. "You're not fine. You’re miserable. I mean, you're going on these dates like some kind of punishment, like you think you need to suffer through it for some reason."
He moves even closer to you, so close that you can just barely feel his breath fan against your skin.
His words strike a nerve in you, because you know he’s right. You’ve been using these dates to try and punish yourself, to try and ignore your feelings for Buck. Now he’s calling you out on it, and it’s making it hard for you to think straight.
You lean into his touch, your eyes fluttering shut for a moment. You’re so weak for him, it’s pathetic.
Buck’s hand moves from your cheek to your chin, tilting your head up slightly, making you look at him. Your eyes lock with his, your heart racing at his proximity. His gaze is intense like he’s searching for something in your eyes.
"I don’t understand why you keep doing this to yourself." He murmurs, his thumb brushing over your jawline. "You deserve better than these idiots you keep going on dates with. You deserve someone who actually cares about you."
Your breath catches in your chest as he speaks, your heart clenching at his words. You know he's right, but you can’t bring yourself to admit it. You try to deflect, trying to keep the conversation light.
"Yeah? And who do you have in mind for me then?" You half-joke, quirking an eyebrow at him.
Buck’s thumb stops moving, his gaze steady and unwavering. His other hand moves to your hip, his fingers gripping you gently through the fabric of your dress
"Me." He says, his voice barely above a whisper. His eyes flick down to your lips, then back up to your eyes.
Your eyes widen in shock at his words, your mind reeling. You’re speechless, unable to believe what he’s saying. Is he being serious?
You take a shaky breath, trying to form a response but struggle to find the words. Buck’s hand on your hip tightens slightly, pulling you closer to him.
“You…you do?” You ask, your voice a little breathless.
Buck nods, and his grip on your hip tightens even more, pulling you flush against his body. You can feel his heart beating fast, mirroring your own. He’s so close to you that you can see the tiniest flecks of green in his blue eyes; you can’t help but feel compelled to touch his birthmark.
"Yeah.” He says firmly, his voice rough and low. “I do. I want you so bad it’s been driving me insane.”
Your mind is swirling, your body reacting to his every touch and word. You should be pushing him away, shoving him back, and telling him to snap out of it. This is a terrible idea, bound to end in disaster. You could lose your friendship, and your job if things go bad. But you can’t bring yourself to care.
"God Buck, me too.” You murmur, your hand moving to clutch at his waist, your fingers gripping the soft fabric of his sweatpants.
Buck lets out a low groan at your words. Your confession is like a spark, igniting a fire within him. He leans even closer until there’s barely an inch of space left between your bodies.
"You have no idea how bad I want you.” He says, his voice practically growling. “I want to kiss every inch of you, make you forget your own name.”
“Then do it.” You whisper, your voice is a little shaky but so filled with desire it’s undeniable. You want this, you want him.
You. Need. Buck.
Buck doesn’t hesitate, his lips crashing down against yours in a heated kiss. His hand in your hair tightens, angling your head back to give him better access to your mouth. His other hand slides from your hip to the small of your back, pulling you into him.
The kiss is intense, desperate, like he’s trying to devour you whole.
You let out a muffled moan, your hand moving to grasp his neck; clinging to him like a lifeline. Your body feels like it’s been set on fire, every inch of you burning with need and desire for him. You can’t get enough, you don’t think you’ll ever get enough.
You open your mouth to him, letting his tongue slide into your mouth, your own tongue meeting his in a frenzied dance. You can feel yourself falling apart, losing yourself in the intensity of his touch, of his kiss.
Buck’s hands move to your thighs, gripping them tightly as he lifts you up, easily settling you on his lap so youre straddling him. You move your hips, grinding yourself down onto him, his body reacting involuntarily to the pressure. You can feel his hardness press against your core, it sends a throb of need throughout your entire body.
Gasping, Buck breaks the kiss before moving his lips to your neck; his mouth hot and demanding against your skin.
“You…drive me…crazy.” He mutters between kisses, his lips trailing down your neck and across your collarbone. Hishands slide under the lacy hem of your dress, his fingers burning hot against your skin as they trace patterns along your sides. You arch into his touch.
“You’re all I can think about. Every day.” He continues, his voice gravelly with lust. “God, even when we’re at work.”
You let out a gasp as his tongue swirls over your skin, your fingers tangling in his curly, blonde hair. His words make your heart pound even faster.
You press yourself against Buck, your hips rolling involuntarily against his, seeking more of that delicious friction. You can feel him growing harder underneath you, only making you ache for more.
“You have no idea how many times I’ve had to go to the bathroom to get myself under control,” Buck admits, his voice rumbles against your skin. He moves his hands lower, cupping your ass and grinding you down onto him. His mouth moves lower, his teeth grazing over a particularly sensitive spot on your collarbone, his thumb moving over your hip bone, tracing the outline of your underwear.
You let out a soft moan, your head falling back as he works his mouth down your neck and across your chest. His touch is like gasoline on an already out-of-control fire, and you can feel yourself losing more and more control.
“Buck…” You breathe out, his name a plea and a prayer all in one.
Buck moans at the sound, his hands moving to your hips again, holding you still against him. His mouth moves back up to your neck, his teeth and lips roaming over your skin.
“Fuck, I’ve wanted you so long.” He mutters, his voice rough and strained. “You keep coming to me after those stupid dates, all dressed up in these pretty dresses. Do you have any idea what it does to me?”
The mental image of him watching you from across the station, seeing you all dolled up for these dates and not being able to do anything about it, watching as you leave with another man, it makes your stomach clench. You wonder how many times he's sat there, fighting the urge to pull you into his lap, to kiss you senselessly and show everyone that you’re his.
You let out a pathetic whine, the thought making you throb with need.
Buck leans back slightly, his eyes raking over your disheveled form. You’re panting heavily, your (e/c) eyes dark with desire, lips swollen from his kisses. You’re a mess, and it makes him feel a sense of satisfaction that he’s the one who’s made you this way.
“God, look at you.” He murmurs, his hands pushing up your dress, his fingers tracing over your bare thighs. “You’re so goddamn beautiful.”
You shiver as his hands move higher, brushing over the sensitive skin of your inner thighs. You can feel your own arousal pooling between your legs, your underwear getting more and more damp at his touch. You want him, you need him so badly that it’s starting to become painful.
“Buck please,” You pant out, your voice pleading. “I need you…I need you so bad.”
Buck’s breath hitches at your words, his grip on your thighs faltering momentarily. He can see the desperation in your eyes, the need written all over your face.
“You’ve got me.” He says, his voice a low rumble. “You’ve always had me…just didn’t know it.”
Your heart clenches at his words, your mind warring with your body. Everything about this is a bad idea, you’re playing with fire here. But at this moment, with his hands on you, his body under yours, you can’t bring yourself to care.
“Prove it. Show me I’m yours, Buck.”
Buck’s eyes flash at your challenge, a wolfish smile spreading across his face. He moves without warning, standing up and easily lifting you with him. Your legs automatically wrap around his waist, and your arms cling to his shoulders. Spinning around, he starts the ascent to his loft bedroom.
You cling to him as he moves through the apartment, his hands holding you tightly, supporting your weight without any effort. You bury your face in his neck, leaving teasing kisses along his skin, your tongue and teeth nipping at his pulse point. You can feel every muscle in his body as he moves, your hands roaming across his back and shoulders, your fingernails scraping gently over his skin.
As you reach the top of the stairs, he walks you over to the edge of the bed and sets you down on the soft comforter.
“(y/n)…” He mutters, his eyes roaming over your body, taking in every inch of you. Your hair is tangled and messy, your chest heaving as you breathe heavily, your dress pooled up around your thighs, exposing your (s/c) skin. “You’re going to be the death of me, you know that?”
You smirk up at him, a feeling of power rushing through you at the way he’s looking at you. You lay back slowly, arching your back and letting the skirt of your dress ride up higher. You run your tongue over your bottom lip, knowing exactly what you’re doing to him.
“Pretty good way to go though, huh?” You tease lightly.
You don’t know how, but Buck’s eyes darken even more, the sight of you on his bed—practically inviting him to take you—pushes him over the edge.
“You’re such a tease.” He mutters, moving closer to you as his hands go to the waistband of his sweats.
You let out a small gasp as he starts to lower his sweatpants, the sight of him in nothing but low-hanging boxer briefs makes your mouth water. You can see the desire and hunger in his eyes, the fact that he wants you so badly sending a thrill of pleasure through you.
“Only for you, Buckley.”
Buck moves onto the bed, caging you in with his body, his hands on either side of your head.
“Better be.” He grins, leaning down to trail kisses along your jaw to your ear. His teeth nip at your earlobe, sending a shiver down your spine.
He moves lower, his lips finding your neck again, sucking lightly on the sensitive skin there, leaving a mark you know you’ll struggle to hide the next day.
You can feel your hands starting to shake as the ache between your legs grows and your mind gets fuzzy. You arch up into him, your body seeking more of his touch, more of his attention.
“Buck—need you to touch me.” You pant, your voice needy and desperate
Buck groans at your words, his hands sliding lower down your body, gliding over your stomach and then lower until they’re at the edge of your dress.
“Lift your hips.” He instructs, his voice commanding, leaving no room for argument. You instantly comply, lifting your hips off the bed, allowing him to slide your dress higher up your body.
With a quick tug, Buck pulls the dress up over your body and tosses it to the side. He takes a moment to admire you, trailing his eyes over every inch of you.
You’re laying there in just your (f/c) bra and panties, your legs slightly parted, your chest rising and falling quickly as you breathe through the need coursing through your body.
He leans back down over you, his hands and mouth immediately going to work. His mouth trails wet kisses down your torso and across your stomach, his fingers tracing lightly over your skin. You can’t help but whimper as he moves, your body responding to every touch, every graze of his lips against your skin.
His moves lower, just barely brushing the edge of your panties. You let out a gasp, your hands gripping the sheets tightly as your body arches into his touch.
You feel Buck’s smile against your skin, his hands gripping your hips tightly to keep you still. He loves seeing you like this, lost in pleasure and need, your body responding to his every move. He moves his mouth lower, his tongue tracing over the thin, damp fabric of your panties.
“B-Buck!” Your voice cracks
“You’re so damn sensitive,” Buck mutters, his fingers slowly tugging at the edge of your panties before pulling them down your legs and tossing them off to the side.
You clasp a hand over your mouth as you hold back a whine as you feel his hot breath fan against your soaked center.
Buck gently nips at the inside of your thigh, leaving small marks on your sensitive skin. He moves one of his hands to rest on your knee, keeping you spread open.
“It’s okay, (y/n).” Buck says, his voice full of desire. “Let me hear you, let me hear what I do to you.”
Before you can respond, his mouth is pressed against your soaking folds.
You let out a high-pitched moan, your hands automatically digging into his scalp, your fingers gripping his curly blonde locks. His tongue is skilled, his movements sending shockwaves of pleasure through your body.
“F-fuckin’ dick!” You manage to gasp out, your words quickly turning into broken moans and gasps as he continues his assault
Buck doesn’t stop, his tongue working you over, his lips and teeth nipping and sucking at you in all the right places. He loves the way you taste, and the sound of your moans. But he’s greedy, and he wants more.
He slides his hand from your knee to your core, one of his calloused fingers gently teasing at your entrance.
Your body is buzzing with pleasure and your mind is fogged with need. The feeling of his finger at your entrance, teasing and tantalizing is almost too much.
“O-Oh god, Buck…please…don’t stop!” You desperately gasp out, feeling the coil inside you building.
Buck groans against you, sending vibrations straight to your core, “You’re so damn wet.”
“All for you—Fuck!”
Buck practically groans with need at your words. He gently pushes one of his fingers into you, the slide easy due to your arousal. You throw your head back from the pleasure.
“You’re like heaven, baby.” Buck mumbles, his voice filled with awe as his finger continues to move, gently stretching you in preparation for more. “Like an angel…My pretty, perfect angel.”
You can’t respond, your words are caught in your throat, replaced by gasps and moans as Buck continues to work you. He adds another finger, scissoring them gently, the sensation making your eyes flutter shut.
“Look at me.” Buck commands, “Open your eyes, (y/n). Let me see you.”
With a great amount of effort, you force your eyes open, to meet his gaze. The sight before you is one that’ll be engraved into your memory forever.
Buck’s hair is a mess from your fingers running through it, his cheeks flushed, his lips and chin glistening with your arousal, eyes dark with lust and possessiveness that makes your skin flush with goosebumps. He looks wild, untamed, and yet he’s completely focused on you, on giving you pleasure.
“I’m gonna make you feel so good.” He whispers, his fingers curving slightly, the way that makes you see stars. “I’m gonna make you cum so hard that you forget your own name, how about that?”
“Yes, please!” You gasp, your words coming out needy and desperate. “Please, Buck, please. I need you-need you so bad.”
Reluctantly, Buck pulls his fingers from you, your walls fluttering around nothing. He doesn’t leave you waiting for long, shifting to kneel on the bed, his hands go to the edge of his underwear.
You watch, breathless and eager, as he slowly pushes down his boxer briefs, freeing his aching cock. The tip is red and dripping; you swear that you feel your mouth water.
“You see what you do to me? See what you caused?” Buck’s voice is rough, his breath coming out in heavy pants.
You run your eyes up and down his body, taking in the sight in front of you, the way his body is practically trembling, desperate for you. You lick your lips, your thoughts swarming with things that would make a sailor blush with shame.
“Please, Buck.”
He looks down at you, his eyes raking over your body, as he takes in the sight. You sound so needy, so desperate. He leans over you, his hands on either side of your head.
“Please, what, sweetheart?” He asks, his voice a low, teasing whisper.
You wrap your legs around his waist, your hands gripping his shoulders.
“Fuck. Me.”
Buck lets a curse slip from his lips as he captures yours in a hungry, rough kiss. One hand grasps your hip, while the other hand drifts to your thigh, gripping it firmly as he lines himself up at your entrance. Breaking the kiss, he lets his forehead rest against yours.
His eyes lock with yours, a silent question in his gaze. You nod, your hands running down his arms.
“Do it, Buck.” You say, your voice is desperate and whiny. “Please.”
Buck lets out a low moan at your voice, his body trembling from the effort of holding himself back. He can’t take it anymore, he needs you, needs to feel you around him, needs to taste you.
He slowly pushes into you, going as slowly as he can manage, relishing in the way your walls flutter against his member.
You let out a gasp, your hands tightening around his wrists, your eyes fluttering shut as you feel him fill you, stretch you in the best way possible. There’s a slight burn, but you welcome it as you shakily exhale.
“A-Ah...” Buck moans, his voice strained as his hands grip you tighter, burying himself fully inside you. His head drops to rest in the crease of your neck. “You feel… you feel so good—god, so warm.”
You let out a moan as he bottoms out, your mind lost in the pleasure of him filling you so perfectly. You want to tell him how good it feels, but words are lost amongst the fog in your mind.
Buck presses a kiss to your shoulder, his lips feeling like fire against your skin. His hand leaves your hip and moves to grip yours, his fingers carefully intertwining with yours. Using his other hand he gently cups your face, forcing you to look at him
“Look at me, baby.” He mutters against your skin, “I wanna see your face. I wanna see how good I make you feel. Can you do that for me?”
You force your eyes open, meeting his gaze. The way he’s looking at you makes your heart swell; his eyes are filled with such adoration, such love.
Buck lets out a pleased noise, “That’s it, so good for me. Look so pretty when you’re like this…all flushed and trembling, just from my touch.”
He gives a shallow, experimental thrust, eliciting a sharp gasp from you as an electric feeling shoots through your body.
He moans against your skin, the sound making the hairs on your neck stand up. He moves again, this time pulling out slightly before slowly pushing back into you. You gasp again, your hands grab at his shoulder; your nails breaking the skin.
He sets up a steady pace, pulling out and then pushing back in with slow, steady movements.
Each moan and gasp, each twitch of your brow or hitch in your breath, he takes it in, and stores it away. He shifts his hips slightly, changing the angle, and a guttural, desperate moan tumbles from your lips.
Buck lets out a taunting chuckle, “Did I find a sensitive spot, baby?” He asks, his voice teasing and gruff against your ear.
You can’t find it in you to respond, completely blissed out from the pleasure Buck is giving you. Your words catch in your throat, replaced by a series of ‘uh-uh-uhs’ as he continuously slams into you.
His pace quickens as his breath comes out in short pants, his hand gripping yours just a little bit tighter.
“F-Fuck…Who do you want?”
“You. Only you, Buck.”
Buck’s eyes close for a moment, a shudder raking through his body at your words. He lets out another moan, his head falling forward to rest his forehead against your shoulder as he untangles his hand from yours. Hastily he brings it down, harshly rubbing it against your sensitive bud.
The sudden change in stimuli makes your eyes roll back, the pleasure and heat reaching a breaking point.
“B-Buck, I’m not gonna—”
“I know, baby, I know.” He whines, his own voice wavering. “I want to feel you cum around me. C’mon, cum for me.”
That’s all it takes, the feeling of him inside you, the sound of his voice, the sensation of his hands on you against you—your orgasm crashes over you like a wave. Your entire body tenses, a broken moan falling from your lips as your back arches against Buck’s sweaty figure.
Buck groans as he feels you cum, your walls clenching around him tightly. His hips stutter, losing their steady rhythm as he pulls out and starts pumping himself over your stomach.
“Ngh—shit!” Buck gasps suddenly as he feels your fingers wrap around his weeping cock, taking over for him.
“(y-y/n), you don’t have to do that.”
“I want to.” You look up at him with a small, exhausted smile on your lips as you continue to leisurely pump him at your own pace.
Buck lets out a high-pitched whine, his hands gripping onto you tighter, “M-mm’ so close.”
“Then come for me, Evan.”
Buck lets out a desperate noise, the sound of his real name falling from your lips being his final breaking point.
“(y-y/n)—”
You keep stroking him through his orgasm, watching as his body shivers from the overstimulation. Slowly, Buck’s flushed face lifts from your shoulder, his breaths leaving his lips in heavy pants, the corners of his mouth turned up into a small smile. His blue eyes meet your gaze, they’re hazy and unfocused.
“God, I love you.” He mutters, his voice a little hoarse, but still filled with an amount of tenderness that makes your heart skip a beat.
You bring your clean hand up to his face, running it through his messy, tangled hair, your fingernails gently massaging his scalp “I love you too.”
Buck lets out a content hum, pressing a few soft kisses to your forehead, your cheeks, your nose—Anywhere he can reach without having to pull his body away from you.
You laugh softly at his affection, your chest filled with a warm, fuzzy feeling, a smile resting on your lips. You feel…at ease.
Happy.
Safe.
Buck slowly pulls away, just enough to move off your body and lay next to you. He instantly pulls you against his chest, one arm around your shoulders, cradling you against him. He sighs contentedly, burying his face in your hair, inhaling your scent.
You rest your head against his chest, the steady thump of his heartbeat under your ear grounding and soothing. Your eyes slowly close, your exhaustion finally catching up to you. You snuggle closer to Buck, a soft yawn escaping your lips.
Buck chuckles as he hears you yawn. He presses a kiss to the top of your head, his hand rubbing soothing circles on your back.
“Sleep, sweetheart. I’ve got you.”
You give a tiny hum, the sound of his voice and the feeling of his hand on your back making your eyelids grow heavier and heavier. Sleep starts to overtake you, but not before you mutter out one final sentence.
“I love you, Buck.”
Buck’s heart warms at your words. He pulls you even closer to him, relishing the feeling of having you this close. He presses a kiss to the top of your head again, his voice soft and gentle as he speaks.
Summery: Buck cant help but fall for Eddies girlfriend, as his feelings grow Eddie starts to notice. Instead of jealousy or anger, Eddie shows buck the true meaning of "Sharing is caring".
Word count: 3,700
Warnings: 18+ explicit content, porn with plot, lots of build up, Threesome, light Buddie action, unprotected sex, no use of Y/N, reader is female, Reader is not decirbed with any body type of hair type to keep it inclusive,
Authors note: this is an old draft, I wrote this before the whole Eddie Marisol storyline. Dont look at me I'm shy I've only gotten the currage to post my first fic.
None of you ever meant for it to get complicated. At least, not like this. It started shortly after you moved in with Eddie. Buck found himself drawn to you. He didnt notice it at first, the tension slowly built in his mind. The feeling grew silently, it went unnoticed until the pull was to strong to stop. Buck knew it was wrong, Eddie was his best friend practically his bother, and you were Eddies girlfriend. The only serious relationship Eddie has had in a while.
He couldnt help it every time Eddie wrapped an arm around your shoulders or gave you a kiss. It felt like a punch to the ribs. Buck didnt want to be jealous of his best friends relationship, so he tried his hardest to push those feelings down. To distract himself with working out, baking, working anything to keep his mind off you. No matter what he did, you were always on the back of his mind. Everytime he baked he wondered what you would think about the cookies. When he was working out he would wonder if you would be impressed. When he was working he wondered if you think he looks good in a uniform. And the scariest part? You and Eddie were starting to notice.
You noticed when you caught him staring more than once. Your eyes met, and for half a second the room went quiet in your head. Buck froze, fingers hovering over whatever video he was pretending to watch on tiktok. His usual cocky grin didn’t show up. Instead, something softer flickered across his face, something he always tried to hide when Eddie was around. You weren’t supposed to be his problem. You were Eddie’s girl. Off limits. Untouchable.
Eddie noticed because of the little things, things other people wouldn't pick up on. He noticed when his normally annoyingly chatty best friend would be completely quiet when you talked, like he was trying to memorize your every word. How Buck always seemed to end up sitting directly across from you, keeping his distance but making sure you were always in his sight. He noticed the way Buck would look at you after telling a joke to make sure you were laughing with him.
At first Eddie told himself he was imaging things, that was just Buck being Buck. He ignored his thoughts until he couldnt deny it. You both were in the kitchen, you were talking not about anything important but when Eddie walked in the room Buck didnt even turn to look at him. Bucks eyes were completely focused on you, like the rest of the room had gone dim at just the sound of your voice. Eddie walked up to you and pressed a kiss to your forehead, putting his arm around your shoulder casually.
Bucks eyes immediately focused on Eddie's arm around your shoulder. Eddie shifted pulling you closer to him. Bucks reaction was subtle, the way his jaw clenched, the hitch of his breath for just a moment. The realization hit Eddie, settling in his chest like a weight he hadn’t prepared for. Buck liked you, REALLY liked you. Instead of being hit with jealousy or anger like you would expect. He almost bloomed with pride and another unexpected feeling of interest.
Of course Buck would fall for you. You were funny, your presence magnetic, easy to love and absolutely gorgeous. It almost made perfect sense that the person Eddie trusted most would see exactly what he saw. Eddie leaned back against the counter behind you two, letting his thumb trace slow, absent circles against your shoulder. Not in a possessive marking his territory way but to just ground himself while his mind spun.
While Buck was staring at you, Eddie was staring at Buck taking in his reaction. When Buck finally managed to pull his eyes off you, he was met with Eddie staring directly at him. Buck looked guilty, like he had been caught in the middle of a crime. But Eddie didn't glare, or huff instead he gave Buck an amused smile.
Eddie started to pay more attention to the interactions between you and Buck after that. It soon became clear you felt the same way about Buck. There was something so intimate about the way the three of you interacted. Tension that buzzed in the air, unnoticed by everyone but Eddie. That's when he knew he had to talk to you about it.
One quiet night Eddie figured it was the perfect time, Chris had gone to bed hours ago. You were laying in bed reading a book. Eddie stood watching you for a long moment from the doorway before walking over to sit next to you in the bed.
You leaned over and gave him a kiss. “You okay? You were a bit quiet tonight.” You asked your hand reaching out to hold his. Eddie hold his breath for a moment. “Yeah Ive just been thinking.” that made you put the book down fully.
“Thinking about what exactly?” You ask sitting up to see him better. “About you and Buck” he says casually making your shoulders tense. You open your mouth to say something, anything ready to defend your love for him but Eddie quickly cuts you off. “And before you start apologizing, don’t. I’m not mad. I’m not hurt. I’m not even surprised.”
His words make you pause giving him a puzzled look “I don't understand” He shook his head. “I see the way you look at him. The way he looks at you. And honestly?” His mouth curved faintly. “It makes sense.” You swallowed. “Eddie, I would never”
“Hey. Pause. I’m not accusing you of anything.” he says gently squeezing your hand. You hesitated. “You’re not?” “No,” he said calmly. “I’m just noticing things.” You searched his face for jealousy, anger or any negative emotions. You didn’t find any.
“what are you trying to say Eddie?” You ask still nervous despite his calm demeanor. He met your gaze again, more serious now. “When Buck looks at you, and when you look back at him. I don’t feel threatened. I feel a little too aware of how much I trust both of you.” he admits
He paused before continuing “I kept waiting for jealousy to show up. For anger. For that ugly knot in my chest.” He shook his head. “But that feeling never came I just felt curious.”
You swallowed taking a moment to process his words. “Curious about what?” He hesitated, then took a slow breath. “About what it would look like if we stopped pretending that pull isnt there.” You searched his face. “So what does that mean?”
Eddie’s voice dropped, gentle. “I just mean if part of you wants to explore that feeling, I wouldnt say no” Eddie finished softly. He brushed his thumb over your knuckles again
The words settled in the air warm and terrifying and strangely comforting. “That’s a big thing to say, Eddie.” you whisper. “I know, but just think about it” he leans over to place a soft kiss on your forehead “What about Buck?” You ask. “I'll talk to him, he's been pretending not to want you long enough” Eddie smiles at you.
That was the next item on Eddies agenda, to talk to Buck. He finally brought it up when the two men were at a bar, getting drinks after a long shift. Buck was talking and talking as he normally does about nothing, Eddie tuned out of the conversation a long time ago.
Buck finally paused. “Okay, you’re not even pretending to listen anymore,” he said with a small laugh. “Sorry, I'm just thinking” Eddie says taking another sip of his beer. Buck tilted his head. “Yeah cause that doesnt sound ominous at all.”
Eddie chuckled. “its not as bad as it's sounds Ive just been thinking. Thinking about you and my girlfriend” Buck could feel his heart almost stop at that sentence. Suddenly feeling claustrophobic despite being in an open bar. “Oh” is all Buck can manage to say his fingers tightening around the neck of his own beer.
Neither man speaks until Buck finally breaks. “Im not sure what you are getting at here Diaz.” He finally says the guilty feeling growing in his chest. Eddie held up a hand, soft but firm. “Buck stop.” Buck opened his mouth only to close it again, startled. “Stop?” He asks.
“Can I ask you something without you panicking?” Eddie asks. “It's a little late for that but sure” Buck replies his mind already racing with all the possible questions he could be asked. “Do you have feelings for my girlfriend?” Eddie says rather bluntly, not beating around the bush.
“Eddie I am so sorry, I tried to hide it. I never meant for you to notice. I would never want to hurt you or your relationship.“ Buck quickly speaks, words flowing out of his mouth before he can even stop them. “Buck I’m not mad Im not here to accuse you of anything. I asked a yes or no question” Eddie said calmly.
“Yes but I would never do anything to betray you or get in your way” Buck sighs heavily his hands wiping across his face. Eddie leaned forward, resting his forearms on the table, eyes locking onto Buck’s. “I’m not mad hell Im not even hurt. And I’m not going to make you feel like you did something wrong for noticing what’s right in front of you.”
Buck blinked, caught off guard. “I dont think I understand what you are saying” he says slowly. “I'm saying, I trust you, and I trust my girlfriend. At first I thought I should be angry, even feel jealous or betrayed but for some strange reason I don't so if you two have feelings for each other why continue to deny them?” Eddie says as if it's as simple as math.
“Are you suggesting I sleep with your girlfriend?” Buck asks surprised, Eddie just takes another sip of his beer. “Sort of I'm suggesting a threesome” Eddie takes a second to appreciate the look on Bucks face while he processes his suggestion. “Would she even be interested in that” Buck asks.
“I already talked to her, and she said yes.” Eddie says “You talked to her about me?” Buck stared at him, stunned. “I talked to her about us,” Eddie corrected gently. “If you are okay with it and she is okay with it. Then so am I” Buck agrees after taking a moment to think about it.
Everything came to a head one night after a 24 hour shift. Eddie invited Buck over for dinner knowing you always make too much food, more than enough for the three of you.
You heard the door to the house open, looking over with a smile as Eddie and Buck entered the home. “Welcome home baby” you say standing on your toes to give Eddie a quick kiss and a hug. “I hope you don't mind. I invited Buck for dinner” Eddie says, his hands settling on your waist. “Of course not, Buck your always welcome” You give Buck a smile that flusters him almost instantly. ‘Thank you dinner smells great” Buck finally replies out, probably a few seconds to late to be considered normal.
Dinner was normal almost deceptively so o. The three of you sat around the table, trading stories from shift, laughing, sharing food. Buck almost second guessed himself, wondering if he imagined the whole conversation with Eddie at the bar.
As you cleared the table, Buck offered to help, his proximity making you both a little nervous. At some point you both reached for the same plate, you hands brushing together and a Buck almost jumps back. Like the small touch was an electric shock. He inhaled sharply, then laughed under his breath like he’d been caught. “Sorry,” he said quietly. “For what?” you asked. He shook his head. “Nothing.”
Eddie watched silently from the doorway watching you both get fidgety at the slightest touch. It made him smirk just admiring your reactions, though he can understand you both being nervous finally having free reign to touch each other after months of dancing around your feelings.
Once the kitchen was clean, Eddie was already sitting on th large couch in the living room. Some random show playing on the TV for background noise. You take your usual place next to Eddie, who comfortably places a kiss on your cheek and his arm around the back of the couch.
Buck stood awkwardly in the entrance, not sure if he was meant to take his usual place on the opposite couch or the open space right next to you, leaving you sandwiched between him and Eddie. Eddie let Buck linger for a moment before Eddie gestured gently. “You can sit,” he said. “You don’t have to hover.”
Buck hesitated but took the spot right next to you, already sitting closer then he normally would.
Eddie shifted closer to you, his hand on the back of the couch moves to rest on Bucks knee. Buck looked down at the contact, then up at Eddie. “are you sure your really okay with this.” Eddie met his eyes. “I wouldn’t have invited you if I wasn’t.”
You moved first, closing the small distance between you and Buck, your hand brushing his knee where Eddie was just touching. He turned toward you instinctively, breath catching when you smiled at him again. Eddie leaned back to watch the interaction between you two.
Buck’s hand brushed your own, then rested there like he was resting the boundaries. Eddie spoke gently. “You can touch her. You don’t need permission from me, just from her.” Buck swallowed hard, his gaze dropping to your lips, then back up to your eyes. You nodded silently giving him permission.
That was all the permission he needed. His free hand came up, cupping your jaw, his thumb stroking your cheekbone as he leaned in. Your lips met, soft and hesitant at first, then deepening with a rush of desire when neither of you pulled away. His hand slid down your neck, tangling in your hair, pulling you closer until your chest was pressed against his.
Eddie’s presence was a hot weight against your back. You felt his fingers ghosting along your shoulder not possessively just grounding. Buck’s kiss grew more desperate his hand moving from your hair to the your back, pulling you closer to him.
Neither of you wanted to pull away but you needed air. You were the first to break the kiss, neither of you saying anything just catching your breath. Both your faces flushed with need.
Eddie chuckled, a low, guttural sound that startled you both. “god that was hot” Eddies hand grabbed Bucks moving in from your back, lower to the hem of your jeans. Encouraging him to feel you through your sweatpants. Buck groaned, his gaze meeting Eddie’s over your head. His pupils were blown with lust barely controlling his breathing as Eddie let go of his hand placing his own back on your hips.
Eddie’s hands were warm and sure as he guided you positioning you to straddle bucks hips. Buck straightened instinctively, eyes wide but steady, giving you space without pulling away. You could feel the proof of his arousal through his jeans making Buck gasp and you blush. Eddie let go of your hips settling back against the couch content with watching.
Bucks hands which were awkwardly resting on your ass moved pulling you even closer against his clothed erection. “Fuck” Buck rasped, his voice thick with lust. You leaned forward placing another kiss on his swollen lips. This kiss was different from the first, it was more demanding and raw.
You run your hands through Bucks curls drawing a groan from him. Eddie takes hold of Bucks hand once more to slide it under your shirt. He places Bucks hand on one of your breasts letting it go so he can squeeze the other.
You pull away with a moan at both mens touches. You lower your kiss to bucks neck making him throw his head back giving you more space. Buck meets eddies gaze. “Don't hold back, she can take it” Eddie chuckled again.
“Take your shirt off” Says feeling bold from Eddies words. A command you quickly obey. Buck lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding in when you slowly lifted the fabric over your head throwing it on the floor somewhere behind you. Eddie smirks watching bucks eyes go wide at the sight of your breasts.
Buck leans forward to kiss your shoulders down to your breasts, taking a nipple in his mouth and lightly. This draws a moan out of you, Eddie can't help but pull you into a kiss of his own. This catches Bucks attention as he pulls away from your breast watching as you two kiss.
Eddies hand snakes down to your sweatpants, and under the waistband. His fingers now slipping under the elastic of your underwear, just barely brushing through your folds to feel your wetness making you whimper. Eddie removes his hand, two fingers now slick. “She’s so wet for you Buck.” Eddie purrs, his words causing you to flush with embarrassment.
This was all Buck needed to finally snap. His mouth was on yours again he began to pull at the fabric of your sweatpants. You helped him, wiggling and lifting your hips slightly, allowing him to push your sweatpants down and eventually completely off. He takes a second you let his eyes rake up and down taking in every curve of your body.
“not fair, you still have all your clothes” you whine tugging at the bottom of bucks shirt. He takes no time in pulling the shirt off his body leaving his top half bare. It's your turn to look at him, your finger tracing the tattoo on the top of his chest. You knew he had tattoos but you have never seen this one.
Now that the only thing separating you two was his jeans. Your hips move against him grinding you both let out a soft moan at the same time. Fuck, you feel so good,” Buck gasped. He shifted beneath you, trying to find a better angle while you grind against him.
“She can make you feel even better, trust me” Eddie says voice thick with lust as he moves his hand to the button of bucks jeans. His hand stays still for a moment looking at buck for approval. Buck nods. He starts to unbutton Bucks jeans. Buck was practically vibrating beneath you his eyes still fixed on your face while your eyes drifted downwards to watch Eddies hand.
Eddie made quick work unzipping bucks jeans then he reached in to free Bucks erection. His cock sprang free, heavy and thick with precum. Your hips bucked instinctively, grinding your wetness against his tip. Making Buck groan and his head fall back against the couch once again.
“You were right shes so wet” Buck chokes out agreeing with Eddies earlier statement. He grinds his hips teasing you with the tip. “So fucking wet.” he groans out now looking at you. “dont tease her to much Buck” Eddie whispers in his ear.
Eddies hand grabbed Bucks straining erection, coating the tip with your arousal. He guides the tip to your entrance before his hands move to your hips, slowly lowering you into Bucks cock. You can feel the stretch as Eddie guides you down onto Buck. You can also feel the stretch as he slides into you.
“Fuck,” Buck groaned, squeezing his eyes shut as he takes in the feeling of your walls stretching to accommodate him. “So fucking good” He praises. cant help but moan. Your head falls to the crook of Bucks neck with a moan. You cry out, a mix of pleasure and a gasp of pain from the stretch. Bucks eyes finally opened to take in the look of bliss on your face.
Once you have had time to adjust you lift yourself up and slowly sink back down, drawing a groan out of you and Buck. Each movement sends a bolt of pleasure to your core. Eddies hand slides from your hip down to your clit, drawing slow circles the way he knows you like. “Eddie, fuck,” you whimper.
Buck takes the opportunity to pull you forward his mouth crashing down on yours in another hungry kiss. His tongue plunges into your mouth, swallowing every moan the men draw out of you. “Do you feel good baby?” Eddie asks as you pull away from the kiss. You nod your head unable to make out words.
Feeling more confident Buck grabs your hips lifting you up, then slamming your hips back down onto him pushing deeper then before. “You feel so good around me, baby. So tight.” One of your hands grab his bicep your nails digging in as you rode him to ground yourself. “So deep” you managed to moan out as Buck controls the movement of your hips.
Eddies hand on your clit circles faster as your moans increase in pitch. His cock slamming into you with a wet slapping sound that echoed in the room. You could feel the heat building and Buck can feel it to. Eddie sees the sign of your orgasm quickly approaching. He leans in to whisper in your ear. “Let go for him baby” his movements on your clit never stopping.
A few more thrusts from Buck causes you to tip over the edge. Cumming with a gasp your head still buried in the crook of Bucks neck, moaning directly in his ear. “Yes yes” Buck he raspes, his hips beginning a more urgent demanding thrust. Eddie slows his movement on your slit allowing you to ride out for high as Buck chases his. Eddie finally pulls his hand away as you both sit still recovering from your orgasm.
Buck groaned satisfied sound while his arms wrapping tightly around your waist holding you close as both your bodies shiver with the aftershocks. Eddie leans back smirking at the view of spent bodies resting against each other. “That was incredible” Buck comments stroking your hair. You nod in agreement. “It was just as incredible from this view as well” Eddie comments stroking your back while you catch your breath.
All three of you still, enjoying the moment. None of you are sure where this arrangement will go but one thing is for sure, this will not be the last time.
Summary: an unexpected person stars for the 118 in the firefighter calendar
Genre: angst & smut
Warnings: smut (quickie at work, oral m receiving, unprotected p in v) & swearing & jealousy
Pairing: evan buckley x fem!reader
Word count: 2.6k
Note: this is my first ever time writing smut so pls pls be kind (or i’ll cry) but also pls leave constructive criticism, if it is bad i need to know so i can get better.
Due to the strict ‘no fraternisation’ rule at the 118, you and Evan had kept your relationship a secret. There had been a few times where someone had nearly caught the two of you, including Eddie walking into the shower room while you and Buck were sharing one cubicle, but no one had caught on yet. In this scenario, Buck had quickly picked you up, wrapped your legs around his waist and covered your mouth with his hand.
Everyone had just assumed the two of you were best friends, you guys had lots of inside jokes and were always working out together, and today was no different. All the men were working out extra hard as the firefighter calendar had just been announced and they were all fighting to star.
Last year, Chimney had surprised everyone and had represented the 118 in the calendar, so the competition was on. Today was the last day of submissions, and impulsively you had decided to enter some photos for the calendar. You didn't need to take any new photos as for Buck’s birthday the month before, you had done a sexy photoshoot and periodically sent them to him, printing off a few which he kept in his wallet.
After the submissions had closed, everyone had been eagerly checking the mail for the calendar delivery as they had decided not to announce who was featuring for each firehouse prior to the release.
Weeks later, you walked into the fire house and were met with whistles by some of the men who you had not spoken to much. Forgetting you had submitted pictures for the calendar you were confused at the sudden attention you were receiving.
“Why is everyone being so weird today?” you asked walking up to Hen, who was also looking at you funny.
“You don’t know?” questioned Hen, to which you simply shook your head.
“Good morning, Miss August!” Eddie exclaimed as he saw you appear upstairs. Suddenly the pieces clicked together, you must have been picked for the calendar.
“Miss August? What are you talking about?” Evan looked up, pausing as he poured himself a drink.
“y/n here, was chosen to represent the 118 in the firefighter calendar.” Eddie said as he pulled the calendar off the wall, flicking to August.
Suddenly, you were met with a picture of you on your knees, wearing your fireproof trousers but no top, the suspenders on your trousers over your shoulders, giving you a small bit of modesty. The strips of fabric only just covered your nipples, the outline of piercings visible through the fabric of the suspenders.
You looked up to Buck whose jaw clenched as he took in the picture before him, which he had seen before, as a copy of it lived behind his driver's license in his wallet. You could see as he tried to regain his composure before deciding what to say next.
“I, uh, I wasn't aware you had submitted pictures for the calendar?” Buck questioned, his voice wavering as he tried to hide his agitation. Now, Buck was usually not a jealous guy, but seeing that picture of you on display on the wall of the firehouse made him want to drive to every firehouse and rip up all the copies of the calendar that had been printed.
“Yeah, I did it on the last day of submissions, I didn't think I'd get picked so I just forgot about it,” you smiled as you spoke to Evan. The two of you held eye contact, not paying attention to the rest of the crew bustling around you. “I must admit I was confused with the wolf whistles when I walked in this morning.”
This sentence triggered Evan’s protectiveness.
“People have been whistling at you? Who? Point them out.” Buck demanded as he walked over to the balcony overlooking the main floor.
“Buck, dude, calm down,” Eddie said as he walked over to Buck “She’s single, and she looks great, of course there’s gonna be some attention.”
“Oh yeah, of course,” Buck said, rubbing the back of his neck. Eddie looked at Buck as he paced, clearly confused by his behaviour.
“Oh y/n, I’ve been meaning to get your help with something, could you come help me?” Buck asked, ignoring the looks Eddie was sending his way.
“Uhh, yeah, just let me drop my bag,” you said as you headed to go put it down.
“Don’t worry, I’ve got it.” Buck grabbed your bag and walked to the locker room downstairs and put it in your locker.
“Buck?” You asked repeatedly as you followed him, getting louder each time until he finally stopped pacing in the locker room.
“Sorry, it’s just, I don’t like everyone seeing you like that,” Buck whispers as he walks towards you. Thankfully the two of you were in a blindspot to the rest of the firehouse so no one could see as he put his hand up to your face and raised your chin so you were looking into his eyes. “Everyone keeps looking at you, because they think you’re single and I just wish I could tell everyone you’re mine.”
“I’m sorry Buck, I should’ve asked you first,” you whispered.
“No, no, it’s your body and you look great in those photos. I just get a little insecure sometimes,” Buck whispered, fiddling with your fingers as you spoke.
“I love you Buck.”
“I love you too. Also, I’m going to be having a boner for the entire month of August at work now, so thank you for that.” Buck laughed
“You know, my shift hasn’t officially started, and I was thinking I needed a shower. Plus, jealous Buck is kind of hot.” you said as you pulled Buck towards the showers.
“That's interesting, because I was thinking I needed a shower after that last call,” Buck said as he used his free hand to start unbuttoning his shirt.
“You definitely do,” You said as you started to unbutton your own shirt.
Buck’s hands quickly copied yours and raced to unbutton his shirt, as he did he leant forward and harshly attached your lips to his. With your shirt unbuttoned, you placed your hands on Buck’s shoulders, pushing him into the shower cubicle behind the pair of you and easing the shirt off his torso. You and Evan moved in sync as he simultaneously pushed your shirt off your shoulders.
Your feet tangled together as you passionately tumbled into the cubicle. With your lips still locked you reached down and began undoing your belt, Buck quickly following suit. Within seconds, both of your clothing was heaped on the bench, leaving the pair of you in your underwear.
You reached your hand down between the two of you and you could feel Buck’s hardness through his underwear. You gently palmed him, causing him to groan and lean into you. He very quickly shed his underwear in a desperate effort to feel your skin on his.
You separated your lips, causing Buck to groan at the loss of contact. Buck’s disappointment was short lived as you began to kiss your way down his neck and his torso. As you dropped to your knees you looked up at Buck who gently stroked your head, beginning to clasp your hair into a ponytail.
You leant forward and used your hand to hold Buck as you began to deliver small licks to his tip, causing Buck to groan loudly.
“Please stop teasing,” Buck whimpered. At this you took him in your mouth causing him to drop his head back against the wall in pleasure.
As you knew your time was likely to be cut short any moment, you sped up your bobbing on Buck’s cock. After a minute you removed Buck from your mouth and licked a stripe all along the underside of him and cradled his balls as your tongue serviced him.
“Get up here, I’m going to finish soon if you keep that up,” Buck pulled your head away from his crotch and pulled you up so you were standing again. As you stood, precum and saliva leaked from your mouth and you wiped your mouth as you looked back at Buck.
He quickly reached behind and unclasped your bra, kissing your neck and chest as he did so. He kissed down the gap between your breasts and then paid attention to your nipples. He took one of your nipples in his mouth and swirled his tongue around the piercing that lived there, while his other hand twisted your other nipple. Unable to speak from the sensations, you just moaned in pleasure, holding tightly onto the curls at the nape of Buck’s neck.
His lips went back up to your neck, and his hand went down to your underwear and started pushing your panties off your hips and helping you step out of them. Once your underwear was flung to somewhere in the cubicle his fingers danced over your pelvis before landing on your clit. He rubbed gently with his thumb before his fingers slowly worked their way down to your opening. His fingers gently pressed against your thighs, encouraging you to slightly part them to give him better access.
“You are so beautiful,” Buck breathed. His face was mere millimeters from yours, with his curls sticking to his forehead from the sweat of the excitement.
“Buck please,” You groaned, his fingers were slowly exploring you, causing you to gently bite down on his muscular shoulder.
“Please what baby? I need to hear your words,” he breathed heavily. His fingers were delicately reaching the most pleasurable place while his thumb worked your clit.
“I, I need your cock, please” You spoke breathlessly. Despite being with Buck many times, the passion had never ceased and every single time with him was exhilarating.
“Where baby? Where?” He teased. He knew damn well where, he just loved watching you writhe under his thumb.
“B-Buck, Please, in-inside,” Every syllable was hard for you to push out as you edged closer to the brink.
“Just let go first,” He said. As he did, you felt your legs begin to wobble, luckily Buck had began to hold you up with his other hand before. You let out a loud moan as he fingered you over the edge and then he quickly retracted his fingers. He maintained eye contact as he licked your juices off his two fingers.
“Delicious,” he muttered.
“I think we’re going to need this for the noise,” Buck said as he leant past the wall and turned the shower on. You both stood in the far end of the shower part of the cubicle as you had learnt the hard way that shower sex, under the water, was very dangerous and ended up in fits of giggles.
Buck grabbed your thighs and lifted you up, pressed your back into the wall and littered your neck in light kisses.
“Who’s teasing now?” You asked as you felt Buck’s length gently stroke your pussy but not going in. He breathed a laugh and pressed his lips to yours for a moment.
“As you wish ma’am,” Buck whispered as he maneuvered himself to your entrance. You hissed as he started to push himself into you. Another thing you were not used to despite being with Buck so many times, was his size.
“More, please.” you grunted, trying to grind yourself into him to get him deeper.
At your request, Buck’s hands tightened on your thighs, his mouth attacking your neck and pushed himself all the way in. For a moment, he stilled, allowing you to get accustomed to him and then slowly began to thrust.
Each thrust hit you so deeply, putting you in a state of bliss. So much so, that you nearly didn’t hear the door to the bathroom open. You quickly tapped Buck’s shoulder to alert him as he was borderline drunk on you, and could not form a coherent thought, let alone be aware of his surroundings.
“Buck? Is that you?” Eddie’s voice rang out.
“Y-Yeah,” Buck stuttered. He was still inside you and struggled to reply without moaning. You gently pushed your hips into him in a desperate need for friction.
“Are you okay? You sound funny?” Eddie asked. This made you nearly laugh so one of Buck’s hands quickly covered your mouth, and he glared into your eyes.
“All good, water just went cold,” He shouted back, focusing on trying to sound normal.
“Have you seen y/n? Her shift is about to start and we need to do a handover?” Eddie asked.
“I think I saw her take a phone call, I’m sure she will be back in any minute,” Buck replied as he slowly began pulling himself out of you.
“Okay, thanks. See you back upstairs when you’re done” Eddie said.
“I’ll be done any minute,” Buck smirked as he slowly re-entered you.
You both waited for the bathroom door to close, and once it did Buck began pistoning his hips into you at an ungodly pace. You must have looked like a mess as you leant back into the wall, holding tightly his shoulders.
“Buck, please,” you moaned. He reached on of his hands down between you and rubbed your clit causing you to lean forward and bit his shoulder.
“I’m so close,” He grunted as he continued to pound into you, his pace unrelenting.
The edges of your vision began to blur as you felt yourself getting closer and closer. The coil in the pit of your torso clenched so tight until you finally let go. Your legs began shaking, unable to catch your breath as you came all over his cock.
Buck kept his pace as he worked his way to his end, his load shooting deep inside you as you milked him. He leant forward, his forehead against yours as he tried to regain his breath. He was still inside you and was still leaking cum as he kissed you gently.
Once you had both caught your breath, he slowly pulled out of you and set you gently on the floor.
“That was amazing,” he sighed as he began to get feeling back in his legs.
“Now I really need a shower,” you said as you pushed the two of you under the water, beginning to wash the two of you. “I love you, Evan.”
He gently kissed you on the shoulder before lathering the two of you up with soap. The next few minutes were spent with him delicately washing you, and then you him.
This moment of intimacy felt so special, you almost didn’t want to get out of the shower. You were in pure bliss in this moment with him.
“You are the love of my life,” Evan breathed as he kissed you gently.
5 times you embarrass yourself in front of Eddie, and 1 time it bites you in the ass. Somehow, it ends with you, Buck, and Eddie in a relationship? (featuring established Buck X Reader, eventual Buddie X Reader).
Word count: 28k+
Whole work tags: established Buck x Reader; Buddie x Reader; reader’s parent death; reader has dysfunctional parents; NSFW content (fingering, penetration); injuries; offscreen fire emergency; stalking; kidnapping; sexual assault; hospitalisation.
Timeline: Vague season 6ish. Buck still lives in the loft.
Credits: PSD colouring by gloomglimmer. Template inspired by louestat. Textures by cavalierfou.
Read tags list for trigger warnings.
Due to tumblr's 1000 blocks restrictions, the fic has been posted in parts. You can read the whole fic on AO3.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 [COMPLETE]
Instead of focusing on the shit show that was the party at the Grant-Nash residence, your mind is preoccupied with whatever Hen and Karen were telling you to think about.
The three of you.
It’s somehow a weird notion, and somehow not.
Evidently, Buck, Eddie, and you have been a unit—you hang out; you’re all friends. That makes sense. The way that Hen and Karen were talking about it, though, made it seem like there was more to it.
And there can’t be.
Because it doesn’t make sense.
Maybe for Buck and Eddie.
But Buck’s under the notion that Eddie is straight, and you think it would be wholly unfair if Buck had entered a relationship with you if he had pre-existing feelings for Eddie.
Which. Well. You can’t really say he doesn’t. All you know is that Buck prioritises Eddie in a way that he doesn’t do for anyone else. Except maybe you. But you’re sure, when it comes to priorities, you exchange places with Eddie a lot.
It changes thing—the idea that someone else notices these things makes you think that they’re not just happening in your head. It’s not just an insecurity that festers inside of you, making you believe that you’ll always be the odd one out. You’re not quite a part of the family unit that Buck created for himself. Not really.
“What’s happening in that head of yours?” Eddie asks, sliding into the seat across from you.
You chuckle, knowing that the truth isn’t something that he’ll ever be privy to. “Was just wondering what’s taking you guys so long.”
“Got caught up by the bar. Sorry.”
You wave away the apology. “S’okay.”
“Hey,” an unfamiliar voice says. A woman walks up to your booth. “I noticed the two of you from my table.” She gestures to a corner of the room, where her friends are trying not to make it obvious that they’re watching, ready to hype up their friend. “I was wondering if you were looking for a third.”
You try not to laugh—or smile. You’re sure it took her a lot of courage to ask, but you kind of never expected to be propositioned like this in real life. It’s something you see in memes, sure. But not in real life.
Your gaze flickers between Eddie and the woman. As far as you know, Eddie is single, so maybe this is something that he wants on his own.
The beat of silence that ensues starts to prolong itself—it’s entering awkward silence territory.
The woman shuffles on her feet, feeling the weight of her blunder. Her mouth opens for what you’re sure is apologies.
“We’re not actually—” you start.
“We’re good,” Eddie interrupts.
You shoot him a look, but he smiles politely at the woman.
“We’re not interested,” Eddie says. He’s kind, but firm about it.
“No, of course not. I just—figured I’d ask. Have a nice night, you two.” She scampers away to her friends.
You turn your attention to Eddie, raising your eyebrow when he re-meets your gaze.
“What?” he asks.
“You didn’t want to hook up with her?”
He shrugs. “Not really my type. And she doesn’t seem interested in me. Not alone, at least.”
You shake your head. You pick up the salt shaker on the table, fidgeting with it. “Yeah, but we’re not together in the way that she thinks we are.”
“I’m sure Buck wouldn’t mind if it stops you from getting hit on.”
“That’s—kind of the problem.” You can’t help but think of Ben. It was one innocuous thing, that spiralled into this. Into paranoia; into an inability to be alone; to frequently checking in with Eddie to ensure he and Chris are safe; to being on a call with Buck or Athena or Maddie to make sure you felt safe enough to head into work and come home at night; to Buck sleeping over at yours, or you sleeping over at his.
Eddie sighs, nodding. He knows what your mind is occupied with. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not. You shouldn’t even be involved. And Chris—” The salt shaker clatters out of your hands, rolling onto the table.
Eddie grabs it before you can reach for it.
“If something happens to Chris because of—him, then. I just—he doesn’t deserve to be in the middle of this stupid thing.”
“Neither do you.”
You nod, but you’re not sure you believe it. You’re sure that Eddie knows that, too.
When Buck comes back with your drinks, you shuffle over to make room for him.
Sometime into the night, a few—a lot of—drinks in, you’re curled against Buck’s shoulder. His arm is a comforting warmth around you, body vibrating with a laugh.
Eddie’s sober—he’s designated driver for you and Buck. His eyes are still bright, flicking between you and Buck, a soft smile on his face.
Buck accidentally knocks a bottle off the table whilst gesticulating in his storytelling.
Eddie catches it, beer sloshing over his hand.
“Whoa,” Buck says, literal stars in his eyes. “That was so cool, Eddie. You’re so cool, Eddie.”
Eddie laughs, wiping his hand with a paper towel. “I think it’s time for us to go, bud.”
Buck starts to whine, clearly not an idea that he likes.
You pat Buck’s shoulder. “We have more drinks at home,” you say. You haven’t had as much as Buck, but you’re definitely not sober. Home will probably be Buck’s place, but you and Eddie both know that Buck will crash once he’s laid out on the bed. “Come on, let’s go, baby.”
Buck allows you to herd him out of the booth seat, and Eddie tucks his arm under Buck, the three of you heading to Eddie’s car. Buck passes out as soon as he’s strapped into the backseat.
In the time that he spends trying to corral Buck, you’ve been scanning the parking lot and surrounding areas. It’s dark, but you’re convinced that if you keep an eye out, you’ll be able to protect them, or you’ll be able to see—him.
“You alright?” Eddie asks.
“Yeah,” you say, distracted. Your eyes remain affixed to a clump of trees. Shadows in the streetlights.
“Hey.” You hear the door of his car close, and Eddie bumps your shoulder, drawing your attention. “Come on. Let’s get you home too.”
You nod, eyes flickering to Buck in the backseat, already fast asleep.
Despite your drunken paranoia, the drive to Buck’s loft is uneventful. Eddie helps get Buck into bed—Buck’s half-asleep and dragging long limbs around. “You’re the best, Eddie. Love you,” Buck mumbles into the pillow.
Eddie snorts. “Love you too, buddy.” Eddie smooths out Buck’s hair, heading down into the kitchen with you. “You planning on sleeping?”
You shrug. “If I get tired.”
Eddie grabs two glasses, filling them with water. He places them on the table. Like he belongs. Like this is home as much as his place is; as much as the firehouse is.
“The nightmares will go,” Eddie says.
You blink, trying to compose yourself with a laugh. “I never said anything about nightmares.”
“You didn’t have to. ’S okay, you know? I get them. Buck gets them too.”
“I know.” You’ve been woken up by Buck before; made calls to Eddie when you weren’t sure what to do. Eddie taught you how to calm Buck down from a nightmare. You wonder how you’ve never realised that you’ve learned how to be Buck’s partner through Eddie.
“Get some rest. You look beat.”
“Gee, thank you so much. You always make me feel special.” You flip him off, and he grins. But you listen, turning off the kitchen light and heading for the stairs.
“You need help getting up there?” Eddie trails after you.
“No,” you say, indignant, before promptly tripping over your own feet on the second step.
Eddie catches you, chuckling. “Mm, wanna try that again?” He’s a step below you, making your height level. And he’s close. And you’re drunk, head still fuzzy. You’re warmed by his arm around your waist, the soft glow of his eyes in the moonlight.
Something blares in your head; something rabbiting in your chest. You lean into him, lips brushing.
Eddie clears his throat, taking a step back. His warmth absent. “I should go,” he says.
“Okay,” you whisper.
“I’ll lock up. You head up.”
And you do.
And Eddie doesn’t move until he hears the bedsheets rustling upstairs.
“Eddie’s avoiding me,” is the first thing Buck says when you pick up the phone.
You hear him first, and then his image loads in. You’re both lucky that your lunch break and his down time at the station has synced up.
“What do you mean?” You’re 15 minutes into a 45 minute lunch break, so you settle down, earbuds tucked into your ears.
“He’s not talking to me. Like this morning, in the kitchen. It was a normal breakfast, but he dipped out as soon as I sat next to him. And! And, he volunteered to go with Ravi when Cap was assigning us! Not that there’s anything wrong with Ravi, but Eddie always goes with me. He never asks to go with anyone else.” Buck’s definitely put out. Whining, even.
“Where is he now?”
“I don’t know. Working out, maybe? He’s avoiding me, so I decided to give him space.”
“That’s actually mature of you, baby.”
“Did I do anything embarrassing when I was drunk?”
“I don’t think so. I can’t remember anything embarrassing.”
“Yeah. That’s usually a you thing.”
“Hey. Careful, Buckley.”
Buck grins. “D’you think I should try and talk to him?”
“Maybe. I don’t think you should push him, but you could let him know that if he needs to say something to you, you’ll be there to listen.”
“Oh, that’s smart. I’ll do that. You’re the best.”
“You know it, babe. Anyway, I need to head back. Love you.”
“Love you too.”
After his shift and yours, Buck ends up at your place, making dinner for the two of you. “Hey,” you say, walking into the kitchen. “That smells nice.”
“Hey. Missed you.” He wraps you into a hug, pressing a kiss on your forehead.
Throughout dinner, you notice his attention on you more than usual, like he has something he wants to say.
“Is everything okay?” you ask. You’re not sure how to approach him.
“Hm? Yeah, yes, everything’s fine,” Buck says, in that voice that lets you know that everything is not fine.
“Okay,” you cede, even though his suspicious behaviour is making you curious.
You focus on your dinner again, even though you still notice his attention on you. The sighing, the opening and closing of his mouth like he’s trying to give himself the courage to say something.
“Did you end up talking to Eddie?” you ask him instead. If he won’t talk, then you will.
“What?” Buck’s voice is unnaturally high-pitched. “Why would I—what about Eddie? Did you talk to Eddie?”
You blink, putting down your fork. This is getting into weird territory. Arms crossed atop the table. “Outside of the usual texts, not really. Was I meant to talk to Eddie about something?”
“No? I don’t think so. Why would you ask me if I talked to him?” He’s definitely cagey about something.
“You said he was avoiding you.”
“Oh.” The steam seems to leave Buck—whatever had him flustered is now leaving him embarrassed by his reaction. “I—yeah, I talked to him. He said it wasn’t me. I didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Okay. Did he say why he was avoiding you if you didn’t do anything wrong, then? That doesn’t really seem fair.”
“Um.” Buck clears his throat, taking a sip of his water. Puts his glass down, then takes another sip.
Uh oh, you think. Alarm bells ringing in your head. “Buck,” you say, because clearly, there’s something that’s bothering him.
“I uh—how much do you remember from when we went to the bar?”
You think about it. “Not much. I was kind of tipsy. We went out, got drunk, Eddie drove us home.”
“Nothing sticks out to you?”
“I don’t—oh, actually, there was that one girl! She thought Eddie and I were a couple and asked us if we were interested in a third. It was weird—but also kind of flattering, in a way? I tried to tell her that we weren’t actually together, but Eddie just said that we weren’t interested. She was pretty, though. I thought Eddie might have been interested in her for himself, but he kind of just brushed her off. Maybe he wasn’t in the mood.”
Buck blinks. It’s clearly new information to him. “Oh. What—what did Eddie say?”
You purse your lips, trying to parse through your already foggy memories of that night. “He just said ‘we’re not interested’, or something like that. When I tried to ask him about hooking up with her solo, he just said she wasn’t his type.” You shrug.
“Yeah, apparently his type is people he shouldn’t be with.”
You tilt your head, a furrow between your brows. This is unusual shade aimed towards his best friend. “What’s that supposed to mean? Did something happen?”
“He said he almost kissed you.”
You feel your stomach drop, mouth drying up. “I don’t remember that. Buck—I wouldn’t. If I—”
“I know,” he says. “I believe you. I also believe him.”
You swallow thickly. You remember being in Buck’s shoes—of finding out about a partner’s disloyalty to someone that’s supposed to care enough about you to not do that. “I—what should I—what do you need?”
“I don’t know. I’ve been thinking.”
“About?” your voice trembles, and you clear your throat. If he breaks up with you over this—you’d understand, but you know it would hurt.
“Do you like Eddie?”
You’re already shaking your head. “No. Not in that way. He’s our friend. He’s your best friend.”
“But could you?”
“I don’t know. Maybe? I don’t—maybe in the same way that you could like someone else if you weren’t dating me.”
“Yeah, that’s fair.” Buck nods. Now that he’s talking, he’s unusually calm. Maybe he already processed his anger or panic.
“But I wouldn’t know Eddie if it wasn’t for you,” you add.
Buck smiles, and it’s soft, despite the situation. “I guess so.”
You swallow, tongue wetting your lips. “Are you okay?”
“I think so.”
“Are you sure? I can—if you need space—”
Buck shakes his head, getting up from his chair. He crowds into your space, tugging you into hug. “No. I don’t need space. I’m just thinking. Eddie kind of—he was beating himself up over it. Like he was making himself out to be a bad guy because you were drunk. But also because I’m his best friend and he didn’t think he was that kind of friend.”
“He’s not a bad guy.”
“That’s what I said to him.”
You look up at him, something soft and bittersweet. “You’re a good man, Evan Buckley.”
Buck leans in, presses a kiss to your forehead. “I love you,” he says. “Nothing changes that.”
“I love you too. And I’m sorry that it happened.”
You both finish with dinner after. You clean up, and neither of you speak about it anymore. You feel like you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop—for Buck to speak up and verbalise the need for space, for a break; for something. But everything is smooth sailing.
You’re both in bed, Buck’s arm hooked around your waist, facing each other.
“What if you did?” Buck asks.
Your face screws up in confusion. “Did what?”
“Like Eddie?”
It does nothing to clarify your confusion, but you’re reminded, somehow, of Hen and Karen at the Christmas party. “Is that—is that what you’re thinking of?”
“Maybe.”
“It’d have to be a parallel universe.”
“Right. Because you wouldn’t know him if it wasn’t for me. What if there was a universe where you knew me through Eddie?”
“I guess,” you hedge, still confused by his thoughts. “If you believe in multiverses, yeah, there’s a lot of ‘what if’ potentials out there.”
“What if I—” Buck stops, licks his lips. Tries to start again. “What if I liked Eddie?”
Again, you feel that plummet in your stomach, but you swallow everything down, trying to keep your face composed. “Do you?”
“I don’t know. It—” Then he scoffs humorously, shaking his head against the pillow. “It wouldn’t be so crazy,” Buck whispers.
It sounds more like he’s repeating words that someone else said, than something that he’s saying to himself.
“Nothing changes for us.” Reaching out, Buck strokes his thumb across your cheek. “I promise.”
You try to believe him.
It takes a long time for you to fall asleep. And when you do, you only remember snippets of a dream—of standing in the moonlight in Buck’s loft, on the stairs leading up to his bedroom. Of leaning in close to Eddie’s lips. Of his arm around your waist.
You wake up feeling immensely guilty.
You can’t tell if this is a fabrication or a lost memory.
One night when you’re at Buck’s place, there’s an envelope addressed to you. Your name etched on it in blue ink. Something other than paper clearly inside it. From the shape of it, you think it’s a USB.
“Do we open it?” you ask Buck.
“No.”
You snap a picture on your phone, and text it to Athena.
Athena calls less than ten minutes later. “Do not touch it,” is the first thing she says.
“Okay. No touching it.” You put the phone on speaker.
“It was in your mail?” Athena asks, clarifying.
“Buck’s mail. I’m at his right now.”
“We’ll check the cameras around the building.”
“We know who did it,” Buck says, voice sharp. Angry.
“I know, Buck,” Athena says. “But we need evidence.”
When Athena comes by to take the envelope away, she suggests that you and Buck pack a bag for now. Accommodations can be sorted later.
At the station, they find out that it was, indeed a USB. Loaded on it were images. Images inside your apartment. Images of you, and Buck, and sometimes Eddie. Mostly you, alone. Your kitchen, your living room, your bathroom, your bedroom.
You feel sick.
Buck grips your hand tight.
“The break-in,” you hear yourself say. It feels like your heart’s in your head, thudding. “He put the cameras in during the break-in.” Nothing had been taken. You thought it was just to scare you. To play mind games.
“We’ll do a sweep of your apartment. In the meantime, you need to be somewhere else. Both of you do.”
Buck’s loft is compromised. With no address on the envelope, Ben obviously had to have personally dropped his present into Buck’s mailbox.
“I’m—”
“Don’t,” Buck says. “Don’t say you’re sorry.”
“None of this wouldn’t be happening if it wasn’t for—”
“Him,” Athena finishes. “You’re not the one that’s gone off the bender. He is.”
After you leave the station, you end up at Eddie’s. While you were against it, Buck had reasoned that if Ben knew were Eddie lived, he would have done something already. Based on the karaoke machine, the Grant-Nash residence was out, even though Athena had offered her place as a safe haven.
“I’ll be at Maddie’s,” Buck says.
Both of them only have one couch. Eddie already said that he doesn’t mind you crashing at his. And Buck says that outside of Eddie, it makes sense that he stays at her’s.
Buck presses a kiss to your temple. He turns his attention to Eddie. Licks his lips. “Listen…”
“I know,” Eddie says, when it seems like Buck can’t summon the words he wants to say. “I got it.”
Buck nods, pulling Eddie into a hug.
“Alright. Thanks, man,” Buck says.
“Take care, dude,” Eddie responds.
You both watch Buck get into his car before closing the door.
Eddie bustles around the house, heading into his room.
“Don’t do that,” you say, stopping Eddie from removing the sheets from his bed.
“I don’t mind. I can take the couch.”
You grab the pillow from his hands. Or—try to. He holds fast, and it catches between both of your hands. “No,” you say. “I’m taking the couch. You’re already doing me a favour by letting me stay. Just keep the bed.”
“I can’t do that.”
“Come on. You would let Buck take the couch.”
Eddie wavers.
“Eddie. Please.”
He relents, letting go of the pillow. “Fine,” he says.
You put the pillow back onto his bed. “Thank you.”
“I’ll show you where the spare sheets are.”
“Thank you,” you say again.
The first time they realise that they both need to go in for their shifts at the 118, Buck volunteers to take the day off. You say it’s a stupid idea, and that they can both work. Obviously, only if Eddie’s okay with leaving you in his house by yourself.
“Yeah, course,” Eddie says, like it’s nothing. Save for giving you a spare key like he did with Buck, you feel like he somehow trusts you the same amount.
Your library shifts are shorter than their ones, so after work, you have more than enough time to sort out dinner for you and Chris, and then meal prep for the next few days. Eddie, like Buck, rarely has time to cook. Apparently, Eddie can cook if he had the time to practice.
“I’m sorry for intruding, Chris,” you say.
“If you keep cooking this, you’ll be forgiven,” Chris says. His snark is almost parallel to Eddie’s.
“Deal.” You hold out a fist.
Chris bumps it with his own. “Does that mean you and Dad are dating now?”
You almost choke on your food. “Wh—no. No. I’m—I’m dating Buck, remember?”
“Oh.”
“I’m friends with your dad. Like Buck is friends with your dad. And I’m friends with him, because we hang out together.”
“Denny’s mom is friends with Dad.”
“Yes. Yes she is.” You’re not quite sure where this is leading.
“But she doesn’t come over. Or hang out with Dad as much as you and Buck.”
“We’re—um. Well, Buck and your dad are best friends.”
“So you’re best friends with Dad too?”
“Um. Maybe? By association, maybe.”
Chris chews on his food, thoughtful. “You know, Buck told me that I shouldn’t make more than one girl feel special at the same time.”
You blink. Then again. “I—is that what you think I’m doing? That I’m making Buck and your dad feel special?”
Chris shrugs, like he isn’t the one that introduced the idea. “Outside of Buck, the only people that stayed over were Carla and people that Dad dated. And you’re not Carla. It’s not your job to take care of me.”
“No, I guess not. But I’m not dating your dad. I’m dating Buck.”
“I know,” Chris says, cryptically. It feels too much like the conversation you had with Hen and Karen—like he knows something that you don’t. “Have you seen Gossip Girl?”
“Uh—yes?” You’re bewildered by the non sequitur. “It’s kind of a staple.”
“The new one. The reboot.”
“Oh. Then, no, I haven’t. I heard about it, though.”
“You should. There’s a ship in there you should look at.”
“Yeah? Which characters?” Because you’re sure there’s going to be a lot of them with messy ships and plots.
“You’ll know,” Chris says. Again, he’s cryptic.
“Are you even old enough to be watching that? Is there an age restriction on that?” You grab your phone, intending to search up the rating for it, at least.
“I have to go.” Chris scrambles away, and you tut, shaking your head fondly.
You clear up the table and do the dishes after dinner. When you’re done, you fall onto the couch, sighing as you, indeed, search up the Gossip Girl reboot. You don’t have the wherewithal to get into a new show, but it should be enough to search it on socials and see what the ships are.
And… okay.
You’re not sure what Chris was intending, and you don’t know if you want him to mean the three people ship or not.
You think about Buck saying that it wouldn’t be so crazy for him to like Eddie.
When he asked about you potentially liking Eddie, is this what he meant?
It’s—complicated. Essentially living with Eddie after the conversation, and that dream about kissing him is weird.
The USB situation seems to have put whatever awkwardness Eddie felt on the back burner. He no longer skirts around Buck, and doesn’t seem phased by you. You, however, are not in that boat, as much as you want to be.
On their shared days off, Buck tends to either hang out at the Diaz residence, or is utilised as a free babysitter for Maddie and Chim, not that Buck minds. On those days, you take yourself to the Buckley-Han house.
“So,” Buck starts, almost breathless as he opens the door for you. There’s something excitable in his energy.
“Hi to you too,” you say. “Is Jee here?”
“She’s in the bathroom,” Buck says. He’s—eager about something. “Anyway, I was making cookies. And I asked if she wanted choc chip, peanut butter, or snickerdoodle. And she said all of them. All of them, in one cookie dough batch.”
You nod indulgently, heading towards the kitchen. “Did you bake them yet?” If he’s on a sugar high, that would explain his energy.
“No, not yet. She said to wait until after she got herself cleaned up. She’s also said she’s a big girl and doesn’t want my help, by the way. She’s growing up really fast.”
You can’t help the smile, incredibly endeared. “You might want to check on her, though. Just—be sneaky about it.”
“The cookies.”
“I can preheat the oven for you.”
“No. The cookies,” Buck says emphatically. “Us. Cookies.”
Again, you’re bemused. “Buck—”
“What if we don’t have to choose? What if there’s a universe—and it’s this universe—where, where it’s you, me, and Eddie in one…”
“Cookie,” you finish.
“Exactly.” Buck presses a kiss to your forehead. “Think about it, but no pressure, okay? I’m going to check in with Jee.”
Buck disappears down the hall. You busy yourself with preheating the oven to distract from the fact that Buck definitely opened up—something on you. A can of worms; Pandora’s box. Whatever it is, you’re left flummoxed. You haven’t thought about Eddie in that way because you were with Buck. But if this is something Buck wants, you have no idea how to navigate it.
Not to mention, you think Chris was trying to point you down the same path by talking to you about the Gossip Girl reboot.
The three of you.
Like Hen and Karen said.
You’re distracted by your thoughts when Jee-Yun calls your name. Her footsteps are fast approaching.
You swing her up into a hug. “Hey, Jee,” you coo. You’ve haven’t met her in person yet, but more often than not, every time Buck video calls when he’s here and you’re at Eddie’s place, Jee is always attached to Buck, piping into the conversation with you.
“Buck and I made cookies!” Jee says.
“Yeah? What’s in them?”
“Chocolate chip, and peanut butter, and snickerdoodle! It was my idea.”
You entertain Jee in the kitchen as Buck bustles around, placing balled up cookie dough on the trays to be placed into the oven.
You’re done around the time Maddie and Chim come back.
“Hey,” Chim greets you.
“Hey, Chim.”
Chim takes Jee, who babbles about her babysitting adventures to him and Buck in the kitchen.
Maddie hugs you, corralling you into the living room to sit.
“How are you doing?” she asks.
“I’m—” You instinctively want to say that you’re okay, but you both know that you’d be lying. “Hanging in there.”
Maddie nods, sympathetic. “Are you sleeping okay?”
You shrug. “As well as Buck is, I think.” Too many times the two of you have stayed up, texting each other, then getting on call to keep each other company, long after the other occupants of the house have fallen asleep. You know it’s bad for Buck—working a 24 hour shift, and then not sleeping well after.
Maddie frowns, pulling you into another hug. “Athena’s working on it.”
You nod, but you can’t help but feel frustrated. It’s not her fault. It’s not anyone’s fault, except for Ben’s. “I know. Anyway, I should head out before it gets too dark.”
“Okay.” Maddie stands with you, joining Chim and Jee.
You head towards the entry of the house, Buck following after you.
“Hey,” Buck starts. He seems to have come down from the excitement he greeted you with, nervous. “I—I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have sprung it onto you like that. And I—I love you. I don’t want you to think that I don’t, just because I’m saying…”
“I’ll think about it,” you offer, when he trails off. You pull him down to kiss him, soft and gentle. You bump your nose against his jaw. “I love you, too, Evan Buckley.”
Buck hugs you, kissing the side of your neck.
“No canoodling in my house!” Chim calls out.
“We’re not canoodling!” Buck calls back as you laugh.
“I don’t trust you!”
“Alright, time for me to go,” you say. You peck Buck’s cheek and call out your goodbyes to the rest of the house before you leave.
A week later, you’re settled on the couch, your phone glowing dimly on the lowest brightness setting. You can’t sleep, again. Buck stopped responding to your texts, so you assume that he fell asleep sometime past midnight. Your best bet is to stay up until your eyes droop and you sleep. It’s not much, but lying here, keenly aware of every noise the house creates makes you paranoid.
So, obviously, when you hear noise on the porch, you think it’s your active imagination.
But you hear shuffling outside.
You sit up, heart thudding away in your chest.
Checking the time on your phone, you see that it’s 1:01 AM. You know Eddie and Chris are asleep—there’s been no other sounds of movement in the house.
You stand, creeping into the kitchen to find the knives. You’re not stupid—someone’s breaking in. And whether it’s a random stranger, or Ben, you’ll be prepared.
You sneak out of the kitchen, hiding on the other wall.
The front door opens. Whoever is out there must have picked the lock. They open the door, footsteps coming in, then close the door behind them softly.
The tall, hulking figure walks further into the entryway.
You spring out, brandishing the knife. “Stay where you are!”
“Whoa! Whoa, hey, it’s me!”
“Buck?!”
Your wrist is locked in Buck’s grip, turning the knife away from him.
“Okay,” Buck says. “I can see this was a stupid idea.”
“Jesus, Buck.”
“I’m going to take the knife.”
The light flicks on, and you jump again.
“What’s going on?” Eddie’s voice.
Buck takes the knife out of your hand as you turn, seeing Eddie blink blearily at you. Sleep mussed, a furrow between his brows.
“It’s my fault,” Buck says. “I couldn’t sleep. Made a last minute decision to come over, but didn’t think to tell anyone since it’s late.”
“’S early, Buck. Really early,” Eddie says around a yawn.
“I’m sorry,” Buck says. “I’m going to put this back.” He strides into the kitchen, and you hear him jostle utensils before he comes back, empty handed.
“Are you okay?” Eddie nods towards you.
“Yeah. Yeah—I’m just… um, adrenaline, I think.”
“I’m sorry,” Buck says again. He inches closer, wrapping an arm around you. “That was really stupid of me.”
Eddie steps out further into the living room. “You guys can take the bed.”
You send Buck a look. Disapproving, almost. “Eddie, don’t do that. It’s your house.”
“You can’t both fit on the couch.”
“I was planning on taking the couch. It’s fine, Eddie.” Buck says, realising the predicament.
“No. Don’t be silly,” Eddie argues.
You adjust Buck’s arm, taking a hold of his hand in yours. You step closer to Eddie. “Hey, look—we’re—it’s late. We’re all tired,” you say, and you squeeze Buck’s hand. “We’ll all sleep better on a bed. We’ll share.”
Eddie blinks, mouth automatically opening to disagree. “It’s not a big bed.”
“We’ll make it work.”
“Eddie,” Buck says. He’s close behind you, but you don’t turn around; you don’t see what his face looks like.
Whatever it is, it makes Eddie’s lips thin, gaze dragging between you two. After what feels like a heavy pause, he finally nods. “Okay.”
You gently press your free hand against Eddie’s chest, ushering him back through the hallway to his bedroom. Every step you take, you feel Buck take them with you, your hands still linked.
You duck into the bathroom, letting them settle in first. Somehow, you’re doing this. You’ve decided to share a bed with your boyfriend and his best friend. Your boyfriend agreed to it—wanted this. You want it, you think. True to your word, you’ve spent the past week thinking about it.
When you leave the bathroom, you see Eddie and Buck uncomfortably laid out on either sides of the bed, as much space as possible between them. Buck briefly talked about sharing the bed during the lockdowns, and while you hadn’t known them then, you’re sure it wasn’t this awkward.
You trudge to Eddie’s side of the bed, yawning. “Move in, Eddie.”
“What—?” Eddie startles.
“Move in.” You grab the corner of the blanket, knee depressing into the mattress.
You know you haven’t left Eddie much of a choice. He can move, or you climb into bed on top of him. Eddie shuffles aside, allowing you space.
You briefly meet Buck’s gaze, nodding. Buck nods back, a soft smile on his face.
You tuck yourself under the blankets, turning onto your side, back turned towards them. “Good night, boys,” you say.
They answer in unison.
You’re a late riser, comparative to the two firefighters. You have no idea how they woke up, but you know that they’re being awkward about it.
“Buck, can you lock up?” Eddie asks. He’s not looking directly at Buck when he asks.
“Yeah, of course,” Buck says. On the other hand, Buck is trying to maintain eye contact with him.
“Thanks, bud. I’m going to drop Chris off at school first. See you both,” Eddie says. He barely looks at you, either, before he guides Chris out of the house.
“Well,” Buck says into the silence after they’ve left.
“What happened?” you ask.
“We were cuddling. All of us. I think he freaked out.”
“Yeah. I think we should talk to him. Properly.”
“Is it—is this something you want? Something you really want?”
You nod. You know Buck and Eddie would fall together seamlessly. You love Buck, and you can see that they care for each other, even if they’re not ready to wholly admit the extent of their feelings. You and Eddie, however—you’re not sure. You think you were honest when you said that you could like him. But you don’t know how he feels about you, maybe drunken almost kiss notwithstanding.
If your dream was a real memory, then it seemed like you were the one that tried to initiate it. And even if the dream wasn’t a memory, there’s no way you could platonically dream about kissing someone.
“We’ll make it work,” you say. “You’re going to have to talk to him, though. He might try and avoid you the whole day, again.”
Buck groans, rubbing at his face. “Yeah, okay, I’ll talk to him. I don’t think I can go through another 24 hour shift of that.”
You press a kiss onto Buck’s cheek and head out together, waiting for him to lock up. Even though you’ll find yourself back here when you’re done with work, you haven’t been given a spare key. Eddie keeps his one hidden in a flower pot out the front for you to use. It’s not the most secure system, but it works—it hasn’t gotten stolen yet.
You have a short shift—a few hours today, and a longer day tomorrow. You’re already done, and you’ve sent a text to Chris to try and see what he wants for dinner. He sends you two burger emojis, the eyes, and a question mark.
You quickly send back only if you don’t tell your dad.
That means no need to gather supplies to cook. Your phone is relatively quiet—you assume that Buck is busy. You’re not sure if Eddie is still intent on avoiding you, but you assume that he’ll be as busy as Buck. The TV is playing as background noise, trying to fill in the place. Usually, you would spend your downtime outside running errands, but you’ve been less keen on doing so since Ben.
The TV is the only reason you know about the fire.
There’s a horrible, sinking feeling in your stomach as the news anchor details the fire that started in the fire station.
You call Buck. It goes to voicemail.
Then Eddie. Voicemail, again.
Then Maddie.
“Hey.” Her voice sounds a little breathy—stressed, or panicked. “I was going to call you.”
“Is—I saw on the news. Is it them?”
“We’re sending other units to them now. The station’s on fire, but the unit’s accounted for. Everyone’s alive.”
“They’re alive,” you repeat to yourself. They’re alive.
“I can’t stay on the phone long, but Athena’s sending a unit to you. Go with them. Stay with them.”
“What? Why?”
“It’s Ben.”
There’s a ringing in your ears.
“He set the fire, but they’ll get him. He’s not getting away this time,” Maddie continues.
You swallow thickly, hearing her hang up as she apologises, citing that she needs to return to work.
There’s nothing you can do for the fire. The other station puts them out. The 118 suffered some burns, some smoke inhalation. On your request, the unit with Officer Williams takes you to the hospital that the 118 are taken to.
You send a few texts to Maddie and Chris, letting them know where you’ll be, and that you’ll be checking in with Buck and Eddie.
“Hey.” Athena inserts herself by you, tugging you away from the foyer. “You looking for Buck?”
“Yeah. What room?”
Athena nods down the hall. “Third room to the right. Listen—hey, they’re all alive, okay?”
Your attention drifts towards the commotion at the front. A cot is dragged through, paramedics rushing in, nurses meeting them halfway.
“Hey, look at me,” Athena says. She cups your face, turning you towards her. “We got him. He’s not getting away.”
“Is—was that him?”
“Yes. He set the fire at the station. Got caught in it. Eddie got him out.”
“Eddie got—” you let out a stuttered breath. “Did he get hurt?”
Athena nods. “Yes. But it’s okay—he’s going to be okay.”
“Okay. I—thank you, Athena.” You wrap your arms around her shoulders, and she squeezes you back.
“Buck’s probably going to be awake sooner rather than later. He’ll probably want to see you,” Athena says when you part.
“I—can I just ask for one favour?”
Athena raises an eyebrow.
“I just want to see Ben. Just once. Just to know he’s actually… caught,” you say. “You can literally stay with me the whole time. I just need to see it for myself.”
With a sigh, Athena leads you to Ben’s room. There’s an officer stationed at the door that exchanges acknowledging nods with Athena. You don’t go in—you stay by the window, watching as the doctors and nurses work on his burns.
Even though half his face is covered by seeping bandages, you know that it’s him.
You feel—you can’t quite put into words how you feel. Seeing him here like this, it’s abundantly clear that he’s just a man. Despite your fears, the paranoia, the nightmares, the mess that was created in his wake, he’s just a man. Hurt, burned—facing the consequences of his actions.
“Good enough for you?” Athena asks after a moment.
“Yes,” you say honestly, and you feel something in your chest lighten. He’s caught. You know once he wakes up, he’ll have nowhere to run. Between the police presence and his injuries, he’s stuck. “Good enough for me.”
Athena walks you to Buck’s room. “I’ll leave you to it,” she says, when she notices that he’s already awake.
“Thanks, Athena,” both you and Buck chorus.
You enter the room, the door closing behind you as you beeline to Buck’s side. You cup his face between your hands. “I was so worried,” you say.
Buck shakes his head, a hand enclosing around your wrist. He presses a kiss to your palm. “I didn’t know it was him,” Buck says.
“It’s okay—” you start.
“No, listen. I didn’t know it was him when he came to the station. It was in the middle of the morning. I thought he was some civilian. I didn’t—and, and, then Eddie went in back in to save him and recognised him.”
“You would have saved him anyway. Both of you would have. Even if you knew it was him.” You kiss his forehead. “It’s okay. Athena’s not letting him get away. It’s—” Your voice stumbles a little. “It’s over.”
Buck nods. “It’s over. You’re going to be okay.”
“And so are you.”
Buck shuffles aside, pulling you into the cot with him. It’s not exactly comfortable, but you curl up next to him. “I gotta text Maddie,” you say. “And Chris.” You take out your phone from your back pocket, sending updates to them again.
Chris responds to you.
“Carla’s going to take Chris here,” you summarise for Buck.
“I think Eddie’s in the next room.” Buck presses a kiss to your forehead.
“I can check to see if he’s awake,” you say.
“You should sit with him.”
You frown, twisting to face him. “What about you?”
“I’ll be okay. Promise,” he adds, when he sees that you’re about to say something else. “We’re figuring it out, right? With him too?”
“Okay,” you respond, after a hefty pause where you’re scrutinising Buck’s face.
He seems so sure.
“I’ll be okay,” he repeats.
You kiss his cheek before you climb off the cot, heading into Eddie’s room. Like Buck said, he’s in the next room. You settle into the seat next to his bed—Eddie’s unconscious, bandages wrapped around his arm. You’re sure there’s more on the rest of his body.
It takes almost an hour for him to wake up. By that point, Chris and Carla had arrived, and you had relinquished your seat to Chris, opting for one of the seats along the wall.
Carla leaves after the first hour after you promise that you’ll get Chris home after visiting hours are over.
“Dad!” Chris ambles towards the bed.
“Hey,” Eddie croaks out, wincing a little as his arm wraps around Chris. “How long was I out?”
“A while,” Chris says.
Eddie looks around the room, almost like he’s expecting another presence. You think he’s expecting Buck. Eddie stills when he sees you, swallowing thickly.
Your lips press together into a smile, nodding at him.
Eddie nods in response.
“I’ll get the nurses for you,” you say, heading out.
Eddie ends up needing to stay at the hospital overnight for observation. They release Buck, though, and you take it upon yourself to chauffeur him and Chris.
“Hey,” Eddie says, and his hand catches around your wrist. A part of you knows that there’s something he wants to say—something he’s been meaning to say, probably since he realised it was Ben that he rescued.
You pass your keys to Buck. “Get settled in first, okay?”
Buck nods, grabbing them from you. He strides over to the bed, squeezes Eddie’s shoulder, leaning into him for a hug. “See you, man.”
“See you, bud.”
Then Chris sneaks in to say his goodbye. They both file out, Buck kissing your forehead.
You drag the seat closer. “It’s okay, you know,” you start. “I don’t really expect any less from you.”
“But it was… Ben.”
You shrug. “And you get to sleep knowing that you saved him. That you’re a good person. You save people, Eddie. It’s what you do.”
Eddie shakes his head, and you know that he, too, has demons that he struggles to keep at bay. “That doesn’t make me a good person.”
“You are.”
“No. I—” He shakes his head. “It’s—I almost kissed you. You were drunk, and I almost kissed you. And that’s just as bad—”
“Eddie, no. Hey, Eddie.” You lean forward in your chair, catching his face between your palms. “Don’t say that.”
“You were drunk,” Eddie emphasises.
“Maybe so. But we didn’t. And you would never hurt me.”
“Still, I shouldn’t have—”
“It’s okay,” you say. Your thumb smooths across his cheek, and he blinks rapidly. “It’s okay. I trust you. Buck trusts you. We’ll wait for you, and then we’ll figure things out.”
Eddie seems at a loss for words.
You smile reassuringly, pressing a kiss to his forehead, just as Buck did for you when he left.
“Good night, Eddie.”
“Good night,” Eddie whispers as you leave.
The drive home is relatively silent. Chris falls asleep, and even then, you still wait until you’re at the Diaz residence and Buck carries Chris into his bedroom before you tell him that you kissed Eddie’s forehead.
“Cheater,” Buck teases, wrapping his arms around your waist. “I was meant to talk to him first.”
“You were taking too long,” you say around the fast beating in your chest. This isn’t a wrong thing. You’re allowed to have this.
“Hey.” Buck nudges your cheek with his nose. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“And we also like Eddie.”
“And we also like Eddie,” you repeat. It’s a wild thing to admit aloud. In Eddie’s house, while he’s not even here.
“We’re going to make it work.” Buck tucks his face against the side of your neck, breathing.
“We should call it a night,” you say, abruptly remembering that Buck only just got released from the hospital. He needs rest. You rummage through the bags for the medication they sent him home with.
“I love you,” he whispers drowsily, after he’s had some leftovers and had gotten ready for bed.
“I love you too,” you say, tucking him into Eddie’s bed. It was an unspoken agreement that Buck would stay here with Chris since Eddie couldn’t.
Athena’s already claimed that your apartment is habitable again, but you convince yourself that Buck needs company from an uninjured party.
You both fall asleep.
The day that Eddie is released from the hospital is one of Buck’s days off, so he’s the one that picks him up to take him home.
Home is somehow synonymous to Eddie’s place, as much as Buck’s. You ended your lease at your apartment after the station’s fire. With the station out of commission, they temporarily split up and relocated the 118 to other branches, and you know that Buck isn’t taking it well—more often than not, he’s calling to voice his displeasure about how the 129 doesn’t work as well. You know he misses seeing his family.
Buck sends you a picture of Eddie on the couch, captioned with The eagle has landed. From how far it is, you can tell that Buck is in the kitchen. Eddie doesn’t appear to notice that Buck has taken the photo.
When you finish your shift at the library, you head to Eddie’s place—Buck has sent you many updates about Eddie’s slow recovery process, pictures of burns and changed dressing included.
“We’re matching,” you point out, gesturing towards the bandage on Eddie’s arm. You’re all in the kitchen, having just finished dinner. You took it on yourself to do the dishes despite Eddie’s protests. Buck’s drying them, while Chris finishes up his homework.
“It doesn’t count as matching if it’s not in the same place,” Buck says.
“I think someone’s jealous that he doesn’t have a badass burn,” Eddie muses.
You grin.
“What? Jealous? Why would I be?” Buck exclaims.
“Because we’re matching,” you say.
“You’re not matching!”
You meet Eddie’s gaze. “Sounds jealous to me.”
“Yeah, sounds like it to me too,” Eddie says.
“If you’re not going to help,” Chris pipes up, “can you all move along?”
“What d’you need help with?” Buck abandons the task of drying dishes to sit next to Chris.
“Careful, Buck,” Eddie says. They had already instated a ‘help, not cheat’ homework rule that Chris didn’t hesitate to take advantage of when Buck was around.
“I got it,” Buck reassures.
They don’t, but it’s entertaining chatter that you let wash over you. You finish up the dishes while Eddie rests at the table, watching you all.
By the time Chris is done, you’ve relocated to the couch since it’s more comfortable for Eddie. “You alright?” you ask. You know the burn wasn’t the worst of it—Eddie’s injuries included a sprained ankle and a bruised rib.
“Yeah,” Eddie says. “You didn’t have to come.”
“You literally did the same for me.”
Eddie opens his mouth to say something, but then he nods his head, agreeing.
“We’re friends,” you say, even though the conversations you’ve had with Buck doesn’t seem to pertain to just friends.
Buck settles himself in between you two, being careful not to jostle Eddie too much. This mostly means that he encroaches in your space, and you adjust accordingly by half sitting on him.
“I’m not a seat,” Buck tuts, even though his arm snakes around your waist, not willing to let you go.
“Well, if it quacks like a duck,” you say.
Eddie shakes his head fondly. “You’re both impossible, you know that?”
“Lucky you,” Buck says.
Eddie inhales heavily, eyes flickering between the two of you. “So we’re finally talking about that?”
“Well,” Buck starts. He looks at you for help, even though he’s the one that started it.
“Not if you don’t want to,” you hedge.
“We gotta talk about it at some point,” Eddie says.
“Talk about what?” Buck says, playing dumb.
You elbow him. You turn to Eddie, feeling your heart beat wildly in your chest. “We like you, Eddie. As more than friends.”
Eddie opens his mouth, then sighs, hooking his arm over the back of the couch, turning towards the hallway that leads into the room. “Christopher Diaz!”
You watch as Chris ambles out of the hallway, sheepish—too immediate of a reaction to have come out of his room.
“What did we say about eavesdropping?” Eddie asks.
“C’mon,” Chris complains. “I’ve been waiting for you guys to get your shit together.”
“No swearing,” Eddie adds.
“Get it together, then,” Chris corrects himself.
“What do you mean by that?”
“Everyone knows, Dad.”
“Knows what?”
“The three of you!” Chris says, exasperated.
“Everyone who?”
“Hen,” you say, watching as Eddie’s attention turns to you. “Karen. Maybe Chim.”
“Maddie. So definitely Chim.” Buck adds.
“So it finally worked?” Chris asks you.
“I wouldn’t say it did. Yet. Maybe?” you answer.
“What worked?” Eddie asks. He’s confused.
“The Gossip Girl reboot,” you start to explain. “Chris told me about the show, and about a ship in there that I should look at.”
“Did you like it?” Chris asks.
“I didn’t watch it, buddy. I just searched it up.”
“Ship? What ship?” Buck asks. He feels like he’s fast losing the plot.
“There’s a three person polyamorous ship in the show.”
“Ship?” Eddie asks.
“A relationship. Ship for relationship,” Chris explains before you can.
“Oh,” both Buck and Eddie say.
You narrow your eyes at Buck. “Please don’t tell me you didn’t realise what ship meant.”
“I didn’t,” Buck says.
“You’re not that old to be acting like a grandpa.”
“Hey, Eddie didn’t know either!”
“Yeah, but we like Eddie, and he hates technology and therefore, TV shows.”
“I like telenovelas,” Eddie pipes in.
“You’re getting off track!” Chris interjects. “Have you worked it out—yes or no?”
“This isn’t really a conversation that you need to be present for, Chris.”
“I’ve suffered long enough.”
“Are you even old enough to be watching the Gossip Girl reboot?” Buck asks.
“It’s 14 plus,” you say. You had indeed searched it up when you last spoke about it with Chris.
“So that’s a no,” Eddie says, disapprovingly.
“You raised him on telenovelas,” you say. “Of course he’s drawn to the drama. Let him live a little.”
“Exactly! Thank you.” Chris gestures towards you.
“Don’t take his side,” Eddie says, playfully affronted.
“Someone has to. There’s three adults and only one me.” Chris looks between you and Buck. “Two and a half adults.”
Buck splutters as your mouth falls open. Eddie knows he shouldn’t encourage this from Chris, but he laughs.
“You meant him, right?” you say, pointing at Buck.
Buck tries to bite your finger.
Chris mimes zipping his mouth shut. “Actually, I gotta go.” He starts towards the hallway.
“And stay in there this time, yeah?” Eddie calls out.
“As long as you’re not being gross out there!”
You all wait until you hear the door to Chris’ room shut.
You cover your face to stop yourself from laughing.
“Okay,” Eddie starts. Then he shakes his head, attempting to start again. “This—I don’t—a three person relationship?”
Buck nods as you compose yourself.
“How does that work?”
“We’ll figure it out,” Buck says, like it’s the simplest thing in the world.
“And you’re okay with this?” Eddie looks between the two of you. “Both of you?”
You nod. “We like you, Eddie. And if you have us, we want us to be a thing. All three of us.”
“All three of us,” Eddie repeats.
“If that’s what you want,” Buck says.
“You should think on it. It’s a big decision. We’re not going anywhere, no matter what your decision is.”
“What—so if I say no, we’re supposed to pretend like this conversation never happened? You’re still the two of you without me. You don’t need me,” Eddie says.
You get up from Buck. He inches closer to Eddie, and you perch on the arm of the couch, a hand squeezing his shoulder.
“I need you,” Buck says, as honestly and openly as possible. You know it to be the truth—in whatever way it is, Buck needs Eddie.
“Buck,” Eddie says.
“I do. I think I always have. I just didn’t know it. Until now.”
“I think,” you start, and Eddie angles his head to look at you, “ever since I met you, something changed. In a good way. I don’t think we were ever meant to be without you.” And, you think, if Eddie says no, you’re not sure how to get back what you had before, without this realisation. Without the idea of Eddie being a part of this too.
“Think on it,” Buck says. “I’ll be back in the morning.”
Eddie nods. “Alright.”
You both bid your goodbyes with Eddie before you leave.
The next few days—well. You’ve elected to give Eddie space. You’re still friendly, but the texts that you normally exchange throughout the day have dwindled outside of checking in on his recovery. Buck doesn’t see Eddie as often, on account of Eddie needing time off work, and Buck working at the 129.
You don’t want to push.
You and Buck are avoiding talking about it, and part of you thinks that you’re attempting to evade the natural consequence of Eddie’s rejection. That you won’t be able to navigate the relationship afterwards, despite promises that said otherwise.
It takes 10 days. The 118 is reopened in 10 days. Eddie returns to work in 10 days. You haven’t really seen Eddie outside of coming to his house after your shift for a meal and cleanup duty. You’ve already collected your things from when you were staying there.
They hold a reopening ceremony to celebrate the 118’s revival and everyone coming back to the station.
You arrive separately from Buck. It wasn’t a purposeful thing, but Buck had said that he wanted to drive Eddie, despite Eddie’s claims that his ankle was fine. And you said that you probably wouldn’t be ready by the time that Buck wanted to go, so you would take yourself later.
“Hey,” Buck says, a furrow between his brows. “Are we okay?” It took him a little longer to notice the gap between you, but he’s noticing it now.
“I don’t know,” you say, truthful. “I hope so.”
Buck nods, understanding. He pulls you into a hug. “I hope so too. I’ll see you in there.”
“See you in there.”
He kisses you before he leaves.
You’ll admit to yourself that you’re dressing up more than the occasion calls for. The outfit, the hair, the makeup. You’re not sure if it’s for Buck or Eddie’s benefit. Maybe both. The idea sends a thrill through you.
You take a moment to breathe after you park your car outside the 118’s house. You gather yourself, trying to force down the feelings of being silly and overdressed. Buck was in a suit when he left. You can only assume that Eddie will be too.
You recollect yourself and head into the firehouse. Hen is the first to meet you, folding you into a hug. “You look gorgeous,” she says.
“Thank you,” you say. “I feel overdressed.”
“Not at all.” She nods over to Athena, who’s wearing a backless silk dress. She’s stunning in it, mingling with Bobby, Chim, and Maddie.
Karen comes over to you both, handing Hen a champagne flute.
“You didn’t come with Buck?” Karen asks.
“No. I got ready later,” you say.
“Is everything okay with you two?” Hen asks. She rubs your upper arm.
You think about what Buck said before he left. “I hope so. I—we talked to Eddie.”
Both Hen and Karen perk up, rounding on you. “And?” They’re eager for more information.
You shrug. “Eddie needs time to think about it. I think… Buck and I are also feeling a little weird. We haven’t really talked about it, though.”
“Well, something’s definitely going to give tonight.”
“You think so?”
“When you’re dressed like that? Absolutely. You are going home with somebody tonight,” Karen says.
You laugh. “I already live with Buck,” you say.
“When did that happen?” Hen exclaims.
“After Ben. I know the cameras in my place are gone, but I just… didn’t see a point in the apartment anymore. Oh God, is this the moving in curse? Like—couples that move in and then are destined to break up?”
“No, of course not.” Karen plucks another champagne flute from the table, giving you one. “You need this.”
You down it.
“You’re fine. You guys will be fine. Eddie said he needed time, so give him time. There’s no way he’s going to say no,” Hen says.
“You don’t know that,” you say.
Hen only smiles gently. “It’ll be okay.”
You hug them both, making your rounds to say hi to everyone.
You feel eyes tracking you, following you around as the night progresses as you flitter between groups of people.
When you’ve secluded yourself by a table, Buck comes up behind you, arms wrapped around your waist.
“You are beautiful,” he whispers.
“Thank you.” You adjust yourself so your front aligns with his.
He leans down towards you, but you block the trajectory of his lips on yours with your hand.
He makes a complaining noise.
“Makeup,” you say in lieu of explanation.
Buck assents, lips moving to kiss at the side of your neck instead.
“I haven’t seen you all night.”
“I’m sorry. I got into my own head about Eddie, us, and everything with work. We haven’t really talked about anything.”
“We haven’t,” you agree. “We should.”
“We should.” Buck kisses your neck again. “I’ll fix it.”
“How?”
“I’ll talk to Eddie.”
“He needed time to think. He’ll come to us when he’s ready.”
“I think he’s ready.”
“How do you—”
“Hey.” Eddie appears by you two. He’s wearing a dark suit, a turtleneck underneath. His gaze travels to you, eyes raking down, then up. “You look beautiful.” He takes your hand, lifting so your knuckles graze against his lips.
“Thank you,” you say, feeling breathless. You swallow, feeling like there’s something in your throat. “You do too.”
Eddie inclines his head, grinning. He lets go of your hand.
You clear your throat. “How was your first day back? Are you feeling okay?”
“Yeah. First day was fine. Everything’s back to normal.”
“I’m glad.”
“You should’ve seen him,” Buck says, and you can hear the grin in his voice. “He was amazing out there. It was like he never missed a beat.”
Eddie grins and ducks his head, shy. It’s cute, you think.
You feel like you can relax, now. The tenseness that you’ve felt for the past week or so has settled. Passed. Eddie’s talking to the two of you again; Buck’s here. You feel at ease, even if Eddie hasn’t said anything outright about his thoughts.
When the night wraps up, Eddie finds you two again, after having been waylaid into a conversation with Bobby and Athena.
“Hey.” He takes a hold of Buck’s elbow. “Can we—” He licks his lips, nervous in his hesitation. “Come back with me?”
“Yes,” Buck whispers as you nod.
Buck elects to leave his car at the station since he’ll be back here in due time; you’ll be the driver. You make another round to everyone to say that you’re turning in for the night.
Maddie, Hen, and Karen all shoot you knowing looks. They’re all definitely tipsy, if the giggles they share are of any indication.
“Have fun,” Hen coos, squeezing your cheeks. “Have sooo much fun.”
“I don’t need to know the details,” Maddie attempts to whisper, “but definitely update me because Buck sucks at that.”
“Okay. You guys have fun. I’m heading out.”
“One more for liquid courage.” Karen tries to pass over another champagne flute to you.
“I’m driving,” you decline.
They draw you into a hug before letting you leave.
The car ride errs on the side of quiet, but not awkwardly silent. Buck and Eddie murmur to each other during the ride. You don’t pay much attention, content to let their chatter fill the car as you drive. Eddie needing time to think meant that you didn’t get to see these two hang out as much. And seeing as Eddie had been housebound for the past ten days, Buck obviously hadn’t seen his best friend much either.
Once you’ve pulled up to Eddie’s place and get out, you all settle on the couch. Eddie grabs a few beers for you all, but they sit aside, condensation collecting on the outside of the glass surface.
Eddie’s eyes dart between you and Buck. “I’ve been doing some thinking. A lot of it, the past week.”
You’re patient, letting him speak.
“Whatever you’re offering, I’m in. As long as you’re both 100% about it too,” he says. His gaze flickers to Buck briefly, but it lands squarely on you.
“I’m in,” Buck says determinedly, before turning to you.
Eddie’s attention remains on you. He says your name.
“I’m in,” you say. You’re less sure than Buck, but you know that Buck’s feelings for Eddie is stronger than yours. They’ve known each other longer. Had years to build their friendship. You’ve barely started in comparison. You could love him, you think. With time. Maybe he feels the same way. You think he does.
Eddie shakes his head, not convinced. “This only works if you’re in it as well.”
“I am,” you say, trying to build the solidity in your voice. Your gaze flickers to Buck.
Eddie sighs. “Buck, can we have the room?”
“Y-yeah.” Despite his words, Buck hesitates before he heads into the hallway, ducking into the bathroom. The kitchen wouldn’t have provided much privacy.
“I get it, okay? It’s Buck; it’s hard to say no to him because you want to see him happy,” Eddie says. “But this isn’t something you have to do for him. It should be for you too.”
“It is,” you say. You think you’re the one that draws closer to him, closing the space that Buck had just vacated. You slot your palm against the side of his face, and Eddie leans into it, brown eyes wavering between yours. “I’m just—you’ve always been Buck and Eddie. I think the past few days, I’ve realised how much Buck needs you.”
“He needs you too,” Eddie says. “And I only want this if you want me too.”
Your lips part with a weighted exhale, and you notice his eyes track the movement. Oh. “I do,” you say, a whispered confession into the space between you. “Eddie, I do want you too. I just didn’t think you felt the same way about me.”
The space between you is nearly nonexistent. His lips mere millimetres from yours. Your breath catches in your throat. Your thumb smooths across the skin of his cheek.
You’re not sure when his hand moved towards your waist, but his fingers digs into the space there.
His head dips towards your shoulder, lips pressed there instead. “Okay,” he says, voice hoarse. When he stands, he takes you with him, knocking on the bathroom door as he moves into the hallway and past the bathroom.
“Bedroom,” Eddie says as Buck opens the door in a rush.
“Bedroom?” Buck repeats questioningly.
You reach out for Buck’s hand and tug him along.
You’ve barely made it past the threshold of the bedroom; the door barely closes before Eddie has you pushed up against the door, angling your face towards his. His lips are on yours, kissing you. It’s not a gentle thing, lips stealing your breaths. He kisses like a starved man meeting salvation. A hand against the side of your neck, thumb brushing against your jaw.
“Oh,” Buck breathes out, wondrous.
Eddie parts from you, drawing in a quick breath before he moves onto Buck. Fingers caught into the collar of Buck’s shirt, tugging him into a kiss that’s equally intense.
Oh indeed, you think. They’re beautiful.
Buck makes a whining noise in the back of his throat, drawing back to breathe. His forehead rests against Eddie’s, eyes closed. “I—,” he starts, then shakes his head. His palm rests against Eddie’s cheek, pulling him in for a gentler kiss, something that speaks to the years that they’ve spent dancing around whatever it is that they’ve only started to acknowledge.
Eddie’s arm snakes around you, tugging you close. You start to press kisses against his neck and along his jawline.
“Holy shit,” Eddie breathes, breaking away from Buck. His eyes are bright in the darkness of the room. “You’re going to kill me.”
“Not yet,” you say, but you decide to indulge in some leniency.
Buck seems to understand without needing to speak. With Eddie still between you, Buck leans down, his hand moving from Eddie’s cheek to yours. “Hey,” he whispers, so achingly soft.
“Hey,” you answer.
“I missed you.”
Something hitches in your throat and you meet him halfway, lips pressed together. Eddie makes a noise, and you both grin into the kiss. Buck moves away from Eddie, crowding into your space. Hands tuck themselves under your thighs, lifting you up. It’s an easy thing for him, you know. He’s strong. You remember him moving the armchairs in his loft three times without breaking a sweat.
Your legs wrapped around him. He deposits you on Eddie’s bed, nibbling along your neck.
“Eddie,” you gasp out.
When he’s close enough, you yank him towards you, kissing him again. “How— God, Buck— we can slow down,” you say, and Buck detaches himself from your neck, but doesn’t move far from you. You both look at Eddie.
“Whatever you’re okay with,” Buck says.
Eddie clears his throat. “I kind of want to watch you two.”
Buck lets out a groan.
You grin. “You’ve been thinking about it? About us?”
Red blooms on Eddie’s cheeks, and you lean in to kiss flushed skin. “A—a few times,” he admits.
“Yeah?” Buck rasps out.
“Ever since I accidentally walked in on you on the couch.”
Buck leans in to kiss him again. “You’re perfect,” he whispers.
You kiss Eddie, then Buck. You can feel Eddie’s gaze burning. It’s addicting, you think. You don’t know how you could have gone without this. But you know, now, you don’t have to.
You wake up pressed up against Eddie. Buck is curled against Eddie other side. still asleep.
Eddie is awake, and he notices you regain consciousness. “Hey,” he whispers.
“Hey.” You settle against his warm body. “You okay?”
“Yeah. Just—wondering how this is my life now.”
“Yeah.” You nose against his jaw as his fingers card through your hair. “You have an answer yet?”
“Nope.” Eddie kisses your forehead. “I gotta get breakfast for Chris.” He attempts to get up, but Buck’s arm is fixed around Eddie’s waist.
Buck lets out a noise of complaint, tightening his hold around Eddie.
“Buck,” Eddie chuckles. “C’mon, man.”
“No,” Buck whines.
“Little help here?” Eddie asks you.
“The man says no, Eddie,” you grin. But you climb over Eddie, inserting yourself between them. Buck wraps him arms around you instead, letting out a content sigh.
“Alright. I’ll see you both in the kitchen.”
You both make an acknowledging noise.
“You okay?” you ask, after Eddie heads into the bathroom to get himself refreshed.
“Perfect,” Buck says. He’s more awake now, pulling you on top of him. “We get to have this.”
“We do,” you agree. You’re all in various states of wondering how this came to be, but you wouldn’t exchange it for anything.
Distantly you remember that you should update Maddie and Hen about this. That’s a later problem, you decide.
it’s clear to me, they’re meant to be something, somehow, someday
summary :: babysitting for maddie and chimney, you and buck find yourselves on the floor of the nursery talking the night away.
content :: fluff, established relationship, mentions of starting a family, like half a second of tears (happy tears!), buck being a sap, no use of y/n
wc :: 2.1k
notes :: i am a firm believer in daily allotted floor time so here we are. sometimes the floor really is the most comfortable place and i mean that. title is from the song ‘something, somehow, someday’ by role model!!
not edited so any mistakes are my own!
The apartment had been quiet for a while.
A little too quiet if you were being honest.
Buck was…somewhere. You’d lost track a while ago. Last you’d seen him he was putting the kids to bed. He always put them to bed. He was exceptionally better at it than you were, the man was like a wizard when it came to that. If you had tried, most likely, Jee-Yun would start whining.
Apparently, Buck was a much better bedtime story reader than you were.
It has almost been an hour now though since you had last seen him…you were starting to think he might’ve fallen asleep in Jee-Yun’s bed with her. Which wouldn’t be the first time you’d seen the giant man fall asleep in the tiny toddler’s bed. And you certainly don’t have a photo collection on your phone with half a dozen photos for such occasion. (You definitely did). But after checking her room, you had come up empty.
“Buck?” You called out softly to the apartment after shutting the door, the creaky floorboard in front of Jee’s door successfully avoided as you ventured further down the hall to the other bedroom.
That’s when you heard it. The faint sound of Buck talking from behind the cracked open door. The light from the hallway had let in just a sliver of light, illuminating the tops of Buck’s jean covered thighs from where he lay on the floor.
The room was a soft shade of blue, the nightlight that was plugged into the wall was doing a mighty fine job at lighting up the room. Stars littering the ceiling as a few twinkled from the light flickering. Buck had looked so small lying there, talking quietly to the baby even though he had been long fast asleep as Buck told endless stories.
You smiled softly, dropping your head gently to the doorframe as you watched him for a minute. His hands behind his head as a quick solution to a pillow and his voice so soft, it almost didn’t sound like him.
“I don’t know why you would want to go to space anyway. I mean, it’s space. I don’t even like flying domestically,” he explained softly. “There’s so much we don’t know about space. I mean it literally never ends, going up there seems like the least smart idea anyone’s ever had.”
“Plus, there could be aliens,” you chimed in quietly, smiling when Buck startled from his spot. He relaxed when he saw you walk in, taking an empty spot beside him and lying with him. “I would much rather stay on Earth with the crazy people than deal with crazy aliens,” you joked.
Buck laughed that time, head shaking a little as the two of you swallowed yourselves into a comfortable silence. He’d unlocked his hands from behind his head, opening his arm for you as you locked yourself into place beside him. The missing piece of the puzzle.
You’d never get tired of sleeping beside Buck. Didn’t matter where it was. But you’d figured out quite early into the relationship that your new favorite pillow had definitely been his arm. And he certainty didn’t complain…until it was two in the morning and he had woken up with a numb arm. But even then, he never complained.
“You’d never go to space?” Buck asked when you had finally gotten comfortable in his side. “Not even if someone offered you like a million dollars.”
You thought about it for less than half a second before you shook your head. “No. Definitely not.”
“Not even if I was there?” He teased, poking your arm gently. You could hear the smile in his voice as you watched the stars above you twinkle on the ceiling.
“Oh, certainly not if you were there.” Buck scoffed as you chuckled softly. “Doesn’t matter how much you pay me, or if they bribe me with you as a space partner, I still wouldn’t do it. I’ve always been scared of space, so no way am I trying to get over that fear now.”
“You’re scared of space?” Buck inquired.
“Mhm,” you nodded. He’d wanted to ask why, but you had went on before he even could. “It’s too vast,” you said quietly, acutely aware again of the sleeping baby in his crib beside you. “Too much of the unknown. Like the ocean.”
“You know that only about 5% of the ocean has been explored?” Buck stated the fact. “All this time they’ve spent in it, and we barely know anything about it. It’s crazy. “
“Exactly the reason that I also hate the ocean,” you laughed. “Too many unanswered questions for my liking.”
“Would you still hate the ocean in they found mermaids?”
You looked up at Buck from your place on his shoulder, seeing the way too happy smile on his face at the thought of mermaids being real.
“No. Cause they’re probably evil,” you defended.
Buff guffawed.
“They’re not evil —“
“You don’t know that. They could all be evils sirens just waiting to lure in some unlucky man and sink his ship.” Buck rolled his eyes playfully as you laid back down on his shoulder. “I’ll miss you when your ship sinks, Buckley. I’ll be sure to send some flowers and a ‘miss you’ card to the station.”
Buck pinched your side playfully as you laughed, it dying down to a hushed giggle before you draped your arm over his stomach and finally looked up at him to talk to him.
“No oceans.”
“And no space,” he finished.
You nodded once as a smile creeped onto your face.
The room had fallen quiet again. You could hear Buck’s heart thrumming under you, the slightly quickened pace never seeming to ease itself when you had been around Buck. It had put you at ease, reminding you that he was still here, he was okay, he was alive. It was a welcome reminder.
You’d never tell Buck to give up his job because it was unsafe, he loved what he did. It was practically his lively hood. But you couldn’t help but express certain concerns about the jobs, especially when he had a few too many close calls for your liking.
But no matter what, he had always come home to you.
That was the one promise to anybody he had yet to break. And for that, you were beyond grateful everyday.
“How long you think he’s been asleep?” Buck asked suddenly, looking towards the crib like he just realized the baby was actually sleeping.
“Probably the second you start talking,” you said truthfully.
“I can’t tell if I’m supposed to take offense to that. You saying I’m that boring that you can fall asleep that easily?”
“No,” you laughed out your answer. “I just mean your voice is soothing. It probably knocked him right out. It’s a good thing. Especially when only one of us can get these kids to bed, because it certainly isn’t me.”
Buck shook his head, lost in his thoughts now as he watched the twinkling stars above him while his finger traced mindless patterns on your back. You’d resigned to watching the sleeping baby beside you guys, his squished face against the mattress as he breathed steadily.
“We’ve never really talked about that, you know,” Buck’s gentle voice came out suddenly.
“Talked about what?” You whispered, tracing your finger along his rib softly.
“Kids. If we want kids, I mean.”
“Oh,” your finger stilled against his side for a second. Hesitancy. You’d thought he hadn’t noticed, but of course he had. It’s Buck. “Do you want kids?”
“Yeah,” he resigned with a nod. “I think so.” You nodded softly this time, eyes still watching the sleeping baby. “A little girl would be fun.” You smiled softly at the thought of Buck with a daughter. Hesitancy would totally be the ultimate girl dad. You weren’t sure why…but he definitely seems like he would. “What about you?”
“Uh,” you cleared your throat with a shrug of your shoulder. “I don’t know, really. I guess I haven’t thought about it,” you’d offered. “I’ve never been good with kids so…I suppose I hadn’t thought of the possibility of having my own someday,” Buck continued the small traces on your back as he listened intently. It was a good thing you couldn’t see his face right now, cause you’re not sure you could handle the probably crushed expression on his face at the mention of maybe not wanting kids. “My sister has two. And I love my nieces more than anything…but I just don’t know how to take care of them. Is that ridiculous? That I don’t know what to do around a kid?” You looked up at him just as he looked down.
“No. Of course not,” he said earnestly with a shake of his head. “Some people are just natural care takers.”
“Like you,” you teased. He smiled lightly before shaking his head.
“And some people are just better at the other stuff. The listening when someone needs an ear to talk off. A shoulder to cry on. All the little stuff that other people don’t even think about,” he went quiet for a second, thinking to himself. “That’s what I love about you the most.”
“My unnatural ability to take care of a child?”
“No,” Buck didn’t even laugh that time. “That you’re always there when someone needs you. You’re always someone’s shoulder to lean on. Any time someone needs something, we turn around and you’re always there. No matter what. And always remembering details that someone had mentioned once off handedly and getting it for them for their birthday when not even they remember they said they wanted it,” he shook his head like he was thinking to himself again. “It’s all that stuff, that’s what makes you so great. So what if you don’t have the natural instinct to take care of a kid, it doesn’t change the fact that I love you all the same.”
You fell silent this time. With a deep breath, you had to blink back the sudden onslaught of tears that threatened to free themselves.
“Wow, okay,” you swallowed thickly. “Wasn’t expecting that,” you wiped at your eyes quickly. “Buy me dinner first next time, Buckley,” you joked with a teary laugh.
“We should’ve thought about that before we started sleeping together, then,” he said plainly, but you could hear the smile in his voice. It had been four years together already, and yet everyday feels like it’s the first day you met. You slapped his chest with a laugh, using it as leverage to pull yourself up to stare at him.
“Keep it in your pants,” you smiled, it falling just slightly before your brows pinched together. “Do you really mean that?” You asked so softly, he always couldn’t hear it. “Everything you said?”
“Course I do,” his hand splayed across your back from your upright position as he stayed on the floor, watching you. “Cause it’s true.”
Another smile cracked at the corner of your lips. You were at a loss for words, so you just resigned to lying back down to his shoulder, letting him pull you closer as you draped yourself over him.
“I love you,” you whispered. He squeezed your shoulder gently. Three times. I love you. It was a sign that he had heard you. “And you would make a great dad. The best one.”
“You’d be the best mom, even if you don’t feel like it,” he whispered back solemnly. “I know you would.”
It was finally late enough into the night that you could barely hear the city of LA outside anymore. Everyone returning home to their own families for the night as you and Buck let the silence consume you.
The concept of time had been long since forgotten the second you stepped into the too. It could’ve been hours you two had spent in the room on the floor, but it was long enough that the two of you had drifted off yourselves into a somewhat comfortable sleep. As comfortable as it could be on a carpeted floor. But it didn’t matter. Because you had Buck, and Buck had you…and maybe if the circumstances change. Something, somehow, someday you could have a family of your own to love as much as you had been in love with Buck. It was just another piece of him to love and you couldn’t wait.
By the time Maddie and Chimney had even gotten home, hours later. Well into the night and a few wine glasses in, the couple was a gaggle of giggles and happy smiles. Your names were called out with no avail, falling on empty ears. That’s when they had walked right into the room to see the you and Buck sleeping right where your conversation had drifted off on the floor.
