Jul 5, 2021
PLEASE WATCH BLACK COMEDY ON ABC IVIEW
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seen from United States
seen from Martinique
seen from Martinique
seen from Malaysia
seen from China
seen from China
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seen from United States
PLEASE WATCH BLACK COMEDY ON ABC IVIEW
“With the whole strong woman debate, we all like a strong woman character, but I think it’s important that we keep in mind that it’s not about creating a strong woman ideal. It’s about creating complex characters with human flaws and imperfections and stuff that makes you human. That's what I want to play.”
Happy Birthday, Mia Wasikowska!
“MOVE, SLUTS.”
Here’s an excerpt because I feel [bene/male]volent, but first, an explanation.
So recently I reread the Captive Prince trilogy by C.S. Pacat (which, honestly, if you haven’t read it, you need to get on that shit as we speak, because it will change your fucking LIFE) and there’s this one character who shows up in the third book, Nikandros, who is the literal personification of every ‘look to the camera’/face-palm/head-desk/eyeroll/despairing groan ever used to show someone’s exasperated disapproval. He is an absolute fave.
It also reminded me of an Auscore fic idea I had years ago which I thought I was over, but which wormed its way right the fuck back into my thoughts, so spoiler alert: that’s a fic project I’ll be working on once my current crop of fics are complete. Nikandros, unsurprisingly, features heavily in this fic.
Meanwhile, I wanted for Mary to have a PhD friend who has absolutely no tolerance for bullshit, and who could act as a foil for some of her later socio-romantic foibles. And Nikandros seemed perfect for the job. So now there’s a slight crossover element to the story. You don’t need to have read the books to appreciate Nikandros’ long struggle with friends who are entranced by the dick.
Indeed I had a glorious brainwave for a scene set directly after they have handed in their dissertations (which will be included in the next chapter, whenever I get around to actually writing it, probably in June), which I have included below, for your enjoyment.
It should be noted, that the scene begins with a direct reference to a glorious show that graced Australian screens a few years ago, called Black Comedy. There was one sketch, which I cannot do justice via textual explanation, and so instead, I have included a link to the video, which will explain it significantly better than I ever could. Also please note the views of the delightful petroleum bulk storage facilities of Port Botany and Kurnell in the background, where I passed a seemingly interminable internship, and in the foreground, the general Botany Bay area, #Straya.
Long story short, this is a reasonably recognisable pop culture reference amongst 20-somethings who watch the national public broadcaster (which is most 20-somethings) in Australia, but I’m pretty sure it’d seem weird to anyone not familiar with the format of the sketch.
*Mary and Nikandros are seated on a lawn at the university, drinking from a bottle labelled ‘Tonic Water’ and contemplating that they’re basically done.*
There then came a high pitched call of “Eeeeeeeeaah slut!”
Nikandros froze and then sighed. “Strap in, Mary, this is about to get super weird.” He took a deep breath, turned towards the source of the initial call, and replied with what had to be a reheared “ What, slut?”
“Can’t even be pleased to see us, slut.” The accusation came from a disgustingly muscular, indecently attractive Greek guy who was apparently acquainted with Nikandros.
Nikandros stood, gasping in a manner so camp that Mary was surprised he was capable of such campness. “Can’t even keep within the thematic and grammatical structure of the pop culture reference, eh slut?”
This was met with another gasp, notable for both its theatricality and campness. “Can’t even engage in homoerotic displays of affection when you see your best friend?”
Nikandros spun and gasped again, his hand on his heart. He then strode towards his friend, and embraced him in a comfortably manly fashion, with much back slapping, and a small element of back stroking, accompanied by a question of “What’s this then, slut?” It was only then that Mary noticed that the blond guy standing next to Nikandros’ friend seemed to be acquainted with him, as he was pinching the bridge of his nose, and muttering ‘please god, not this’.
Nikandros’ friend, who logically had to be his best friend from childhood, Damianos, upped the ante by squeezing Nikandros’ backside and enquiring “what’s this then, slut?”
Nikandros in turn asked “what’s this then, slut?” as he trailed a hand down his Damianos’ face and neck, keeping intense eye contact as he leaned in very close. Mary, who wasn’t quite sure what she was seeing, but nonetheless knew that she wasn’t complaining, settled in to watch the show.
Damianos’ eyes narrowed, as if this was some kind of challenge. “Well what’s this then, slut?” he asked, grinding against Nikandros, his hands now in Nikandros’ back pockets.
Nikandros’ eyes narrowed in response. Mary had a momentary thought that it was turning into a Clint Eastwood film, before discarding that notion, because if Clint Eastwood films contained that much overt homoeroticisim, she probably would have taken the time to watch some of them. “What’s this then, slut?” he hissed, gripping Damianos’ face and maintaining almost threatening eye contact as he leaned in without hesitation.
“Oh for fuck’s sake, would the two of you either get a room or introduce us?” the blonde guy asked, nodding in Mary’s direction. With some reluctance and a not insignificant amount of muttering, they disentangled and looked disappointed. “Oh, don’t give me that look. Nikandros, you’re too straight to go through with anything past some kissing, and Damen, we both know that Nikandros isn’t your type. And not for lack of you trying. Can we not pretend to be civilised for a moment?”
Nikandros waved them over to where Mary was sitting, one eyebrow raised. “Mary, this is my idiot best friend Damianos, generally referred to as Damen, and this is his boyfriend, Laurent. Damen, Laurent, this is Mary. We’ve been cubicle buddies for the last three years.”
“Wait,” said Laurent, his eyes widening with delight, “is this your girlfriend?”
“No,” was the unilateral reply from not only Nikandros and Mary, but also, for some reason, Damen.
Everyone turned to face him. “Nikandros only dates nice Greek girls,” the description was given in an accent which Mary recognised from the film My Big Fat Greek Wedding but had thought until that point was a crude stereotype. She made a mental note to rewatch that film with Nikandros and enquire about some of her previous misconceptions. Damen, meanwhile, was still talking. “And as nice as I’m sure Mary is, she is sure as shit not Greek.”
“She could be Greek,” Laurent protested.
Both Damen and Nikandros looked at him in a manner which clearly said ‘no she fucking couldn’t.’
“Not only is she not Greek,” Nikandros said, leaning back, “she’s also refusing to admit that she’s practically dating some Major-General who’s next in line to a duchy or some other deliciously aristocratic shit.”
“What? Fuck off. No. We’re just friends,” Mary protested, to a face which clearly cried bullshit. “And for the record, he’s a newly minted Colonel, who’s next in line for an earldom.”
“Oh shit!” Damen said in obvious delight. “At first I thought that Nikandros was wildly exaggerating and you were dating some Lieutenant who was fourth in line for a baronetcy. This is so much better than barely commissioned officers who aren’t even in DeBrett’s. Pull up his Facebook. I want to have a stalk.”
“I’m not dating him,” Mary reiterated. “And he’s not on Facebook.”
Damen looked disappointed, and Laurent sniffed the bottle they had been drinking from. “Is there any tonic water in this gin and lime juice?” he enquired.
“Not much,” Nikandros replied, scrolling through something on his phone. Finding something, he grinned evilly at Mary. “And he might not be on Facebook, but he’s sure as shit all over your Instagram.”
In case it wasn’t already super obvious, this is the beginning of everyone being all ‘you guys are totally dating’ or ‘he clearly likes you’ and Mary being all ‘lol shut up, no, we’re just friends.’
Mia Wasikowska - 2018 (Part 1)
well what's this then slut
Mia Wasikowska did a guest appearance on an australian comedy show and I’m only finding out about this now?!