the big idea: expose yourself with a couple interesting or funny confessions about yourself and tag some moots!
once, when i was little, i took a HUGE spoonful of some spicy sauce and i screamed
i'm a gamer....
i ran away from my older crush when he told me that he would go out with me
i still sleep with my old stuffed animals! i’m not ashamed though, i'm still practically a younger child
once, i was in hershey as a youngin, and i was scared of roller coasters sooo bad and i ran off the "chocolate world ride" and my family had to grab me while everyone was staring 👀
i used to be scared of rudolph (the reindeer)
when i get nervous on a ride, or i swallowed down the wrong path, i grab my nose and it's so weird
i wanted to commit suicide a few months ago but nf kept me alive
i stare at my wall in the dark and listen to sad music
listening to one direction interviews and old music(videos) and stuff makes me cry
i cry myself to sleep
okay i cry a lot
i hate when people touch me or come behind me and hug me, like STOP
i procrastinate a lottttt
this was such a great idea!
i'm going to tag @badinee @scottish-sim @drewswannabegirl and @blognotfound
Hi Jill! You've been so quiet recently. Miss your posts! Hope your doing well
Hi Anon! I know I’ve been very quiet for a couple of reasons-- fandom and real life reasons. #1, the new skam france hasn’t quite kept my fancy like I was hoping it would. And I’m still waiting for 911 to come back. And for a new show or movie or book to really knock my socks off and get my creative juices flowing.
#2. Work. I work for an NHL team and we are currently on the bubble of making it into the playoffs. Lots of work going in to that and a lot of hockey games that I’m working 15 hour days, but consequently ---> I got promoted!
So I’m trying to finish up everything for the job I’m currently doing, to begin my new one as a hockey and concert event coordinator on Monday! So its been very busy and tumblr has gone by the wayside as I attempt to piece my real life together in my never ending quest for eventual world domination.
But I’m always around keeping an eye on things and I plan to be more active once I know my team is solidly in the playoffs!
Jill really appreciates how easy Helga is to talk to and how Helga doesn’t make a fuss about her royal status. She treats Jill as if she is a person, not trying to plot against her or suck up to her to try and get in a good word with the Queen’s sister.
There are few people that know that Jill still trains. not just in magical self-defense, but also with physical training too. She started up while she was in Palm Springs with Eddie and Angeline but since returning to Court, she had to keep it more of a secret. Some Moroi were starting to become more accepting of it but with Jill’s Princess title - they still see it as something she shouldn’t be doing. Helga is one of the few people that Jill has revealed this to and often asks if she would like to join her for training.
Jill feels protective of Helga and Varga’s relationship and what others will think of it. Not that she cares what people think, so long as the couple is happy - she does not want them to get upset by the judgment of others and let it affect their relationship. She knows all too well how hard it can be and has made sure that it is known to anyone that if they have an issue with Helga’s relationship, then they have an issue with the Dragomir Princess also.
Jill will often wrangle Helga into modeling her dresses for her - much to Angeline’s happiness.
When Jill falls pregnant to the twins, she stuggles quite a bit with morning sickness and hates the medication that the midwife tries to give her. She knows that Helga knows quite a bit about natural methods of doing things and Jill approaches her asking for some miracle to help ease the sickness.
Current Location: Nightingale Psychiatric Hospital, London, England
Jill was one of the many incarnations of the Doppelganger Tatia. When she was a child she embraced the lives of her past. She'd often channel them, have conversations with them, and 'project' them with her mind's eye. Jill could envision her past lives sitting with her at a tea party or dancing around the garden. They were her friends and meant so much to her.
Jill was seven years old the winter of the accident. She was skating on the pond near her home but hit a patch of thin ice. Jill fell through into the water. She tried to get back to the surface but didn't survive. Jill drowned and her Cursed soul moved on.
When Jill awoke she was in a small hospital room. It was a miracle that she was able to be revived, but she was. Only...her Cursed soul had already moved on. All that remained was her own. Jill lost all the memories and the lives but remembered having them. There was now a hole where they once were and it changed her. Her blood changed as well to a completely different blood type. The doctors couldn't explain how it happened, but nonetheless it changed. Unknown to them, Jill lost the essence of the Doppelganger blood.
The years passed and Jill was in and out of mental hospitals. She never got over the loss of her past lives – it felt like she had lost a huge part of herself. All Jill wanted was to find a way to get it back but since she couldn't remember the details she was deemed crazy and not even those of the supernatural community could help her because those she made contact with didn't understand.
It all changed when her twenty-fifth birthday came around. On that day she felt another presence inside her but knew that it wasn't who it used to be. Who was it? None other than Elena Gilbert. Elena's soul bound with Jill and she's none too happy about that. Jill knows everything Elena did and knowing that there's a girl out there – Blair – who has the soul that was supposed to be hers, it sent her over the edge a bit.
This is what brought her back into a mental hospital. Jill managed to get a hold of a phone and tried to make contact with Jeremy but because Elena's soul was never meant to bind with hers, it was a struggle to get things straight. And thus, she didn't get very far with that contact.
Jill doesn't know how she's going to get out of the hospital and get to Mystic Falls, but one thing's for certain – She's going to do it. While she's at it, she's going to get that bitch Elena Gilbert out of her head and get back the soul that was always meant to be hers.
"13. Are there any tropes you used to like but don’t anymore?"
Man, I used to LOVE a good teacher/student AU, but the older I get the more it gives me the ick. I still enjoy flavors that sidestep the power imbalance though.
"26. Would you rather write a fic that had no dialogue or one that was only dialogue?"
WOW RUDE. They both sound so fun. For OFMD ed/stede, writing in the humor of the show, it's going to excel as dialogue only because they're such bantery yes-and idiots.
But if we're taking into account my writing style and preferences -- I'd say no dialogue. Give me 30k of deep POV any day!!! The reverse bang project i'm working on now is lower than average dialogue because so much of it is Stede just getting his mind blown. :P
"27. How long did it take to write [insert fic]? Describe the process."
Hahaha well let's go with my only complete multichap Save the Prince. I picked this up as a pinch hit in I think November 22? And it was complete in late Feb 23.
Buddy I was possessed, I dunno what to tell you. Fondly recall spending many nights staying up until 2-3 am trying to crank this guy out. And I was still several weeks late. Lawl.
I spend a lot of time pondering. It's not necessarily that I'm a slow thinker, but I try to deliberate carefully when it matters, and it's a process that's part thought and part intuition and it just. Slow cooks, I guess. This was a story that I struggled with for sure.
Spoiler free version:
I was deeply unsatisfied with the 'easy' solutions available to me for resolving the conflict. I wanted to say something more important than 'winning means defeating the enemy!!!' And to say something that I thought was worthwhile about what community is for.
Totally spoilery version under the cut:
This story was a love letter to angry queer kids.
I wanted to create a world that acknowledges a few things:
There are things in this world that turn queer kids into angry queer kids.
Sometimes people don't make bad choices, they have bad choices.
A queer elder who hast Been There and lived through the ravages of cisheteronormativity is capable of the wisdom and restraint and gentleness it would take to say: hurting you is not going to fix this. excluding you from the community best poised to reach you is not going to fix this. you are lashing out because you are cornered and hurting and i'm not going to punish you for being in pain. this isn't excusing your behavior. just buying us time to try to begin to heal.
Jill often has the optics of having a chip on her shoulder. She crosses her arms, and kind of just stares at people, having joined the RPD in 1993, as one of the first female officers on the force. She chews gum and blows bubbles, when she is mad at people, since she can't smoke on duty unless on a break. And she wasn't exactly welcomed with open arms. She dealt with sexual harassment in the days before the RPD even had a Human Resources department to complain to, and even changed in the bathroom, since the men on the force made her feel so uncomfortable. She feels like she has to work three times as hard as everyone else to truly matter, and it is this relentless attitude that has allowed her to survive.
Chief Irons and other captains and high ranking police officers have even tried to mar Jill's record with disciplinary notices, and it's a thick file by 1998, in attempt to fire Valentine from RPD, without too many eyebrows being raised.
Chris was one of the first to tell her, "Hey, you know you can ease off the gas with the attitude, okay? You don't have to prove a god damn thing to ME. I know who you are, and what you do. Your value."
It takes quite a bit to chip through the ice, and there is something warm under the surface of things, caring and worrying about people, like soldiers on the battlefield, and making sure everyone is taken care of.
Here's a brief long update. The last one I posted here apparently happened less than a week before Shit Got Real™. It has been a w i l d ride. Things are more or less fine now! But here's what I've been doing!
TW: medical details, infertility, getting the shit kicked out of me by life
Highlight reel from July 2021:
July 3: Hosted 'Murica Day party at our house, had a lovely time. I had the bright idea to set up a slip n slide. Promptly broke tailbone using said bright idea.
July 4: Rented a trencher to run power and water line from the house to our future chicken coop site. Hit the water main to the house while trenching. (Yes we called 811 beforehand, no they didn't mark the main, they didn't mark a damn thing past the meter tbh)
July 4 thru like 11: fixing the issue in 95+ degree (F) heat with broken tailbone and restoring water service (we are Rural™ so it was all us)
July 15: I was in bed and needed to blow my nose. I decided to sit up while doing that. (TLDR: don't do that) I felt a Bad Thing at the base of my skull and had instant severe headache...that persisted for the next several months.
July 16+: ER visit after ER visit. Scan after scan. So many scans.
It took them a while to figure it out (we thought it was an unruptured aneurysm or something at first), but it turns out I had a pituitary tumor that started hemorrhaging (aka pituitary apoplexy), resulting in severe headaches, light sensitivity, intolerance to exercise/increased BP, taste and smell distortions, and pain that refused to respond to medication until, uh, about Halloween when I had surgery.
To say that I've had a lifetime's worth of doc appointments in the last year would be an understatement. I got fabulous care but I never want to see a neurosurgeon again. There are a bunch of meds I will be on forever. We will need IVF to have kids (that's coming down the pipe next year hopefully!). I had the energy level of a spent AAA battery for most of '22.
But--for now--I'm good. No headaches. I have a roughly normal amount of energy. And exertion doesn't leave me in bed the next day!
I'm still collecting specialists like Pokemon unfortunately. That part's exhausting. Medical fatigue is real y'all.
FANDOM RELATED UPDATES:
Tentoo x Rose is still *chef's kiss*
I'm totally not sure how I feel about the upcoming special. I haven't read ANY tumblr takes on it, and i'm not looking for spoilers, so we're just going to have to hope they don't heck it up
I wasn't always crazy about 13's episodes but I LOVED jodie as 13 and i want her on repeat forever
Not sure how many of you do anime, but Spy X Family has my whole heart. WHOLE. HEART.
