#about tevan

[bisexualbrainrots]

missing buck and tommy hours

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hope buck and tommy get to share candy flavored kisses this year

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buck and tommy kissing. that's it that's the post

[bisexualbrainrots]

creo que después de todo este tiempo mi opinión más contraria de cierta manera es que no siento que buck le rompió el corazón a tommy en su pelea de la mañana siguiente.

o sea, obviamente lo hirió eso no lo voy a discutir para nada, pero no me convence el "ahí le termino rompiendo el corazón", yo personalmente creo que el momento que buck realmente le rompió el corazón fue cuando tommy lo vió colapsar en el monitor. y esto igual es conclusión mía a partir de las opiniones de lou sobre esas escenas, y también es lo que hace sentido para mí. yo veo a tommy en el ep 11 y pienso "ah, que dolor que debe sentir" y en el 15 pienso "está absolutamente destrozado al ver a buck así" o sea, yo veo aunque sea por dos segundos que su corazón está roto en pedazos al ver a buck en dolor.

e igual es interesante porque va con lo que dijo tommy en el ep 6 "no sería a propósito, no lo planearías, pero terminarías rompiéndome el corazón" y si va así, no es a propósito pero termina rompiendo su corazón el ver a buck romperse emocionalmente y no poder hacer nada para ayudarlo. ojalá haya un momento donde tommy pueda consolar a buck, necesito verlo.

[bisexualbrainrots]

tevan stuff under the cut, it's just a bunch of scrambled thoughts about them in the text don't worry y'all

like, I've been going back and forth between what the show is actually telling me vs my interpretations of the text. and sometimes I may have interpretations but when I look back I see that was never the intent of said episode/scene/dialogue.

to give an example, there's the thoughts that buck and tommy were still at the honeymoon phase of their relationship six months in, or that they weren't trying to get to know each other in depth. and I have subscribed to the "honeymoon period" explanation because the alternative is well... an episode that's not well written. but, when I've gone back to 8x06 it's like, well were they like that? and I see that no actually, like, their intent was not to say these two were too wrapped up in each other to have deeper/more difficult conversations. it just wasn't. at best you could say it's the moment when buck says he "didn't think tommy could be so dishonest and cruel" and that isn't as much about buck knowing stuff about tommy as it is about leading up to josh giving buck the "you and tommy came out in different times and he had to do things he wasn't proud of" speech → then you have let's say one of my interpretations of that which is how this new knowledge of tommy changes buck's view of the kind of man he got to know in the past six months.

the intent with their scenes in 8x06 were more about "oh how cute, tommy got buck a gift" (not about it being basketball tickets or buck not having a gift), and "how interesting, tommy was engaged to a woman before and OMG SHE'S BUCK'S ABBY??" (not about buck "not trying to get to know tommy" [side note: I really hated seeing this take y'all] or tommy "hiding it/not wanting to tell buck"). and though I'm still trying to wrap my head around what the intent with the breakup was (besides you know, leaving buck alone so his abandonment issues would hit worse), the main takeaway I had was "tommy thinking/fearing that buck will eventually leave him and break his heart" (which funny enough it was brought back for 8x11), there's also the fact that they didn't intent for the dialogue to have biphobic tints, they just didn't, but it still came out that way even if it wasn't their intention.

then you have everything about 8x11 which, listen, I am one of those people who's on the side that a big part of it IS about eddie. though to me it's more about him as buck's friend because well they are, even when the writing has been sometimes been *gestures* about it. with that I mean, yeah the episode is about how much buck (and the 118) misses eddie, the emptiness that buck feels now that his best friend is gone to another state, and him not wanting to accept he's leaving (which regardless of the ending of the season, it's something that's explicitly said so in the text), and buck ends up reuniting and sleeping with tommy in the process of dealing with those feelings. then you have tommy and (here comes criticism to the show) when they could've used that moment to actually focus on the relationship and give more characterization they used it to shut down a ship, a ship that the general audience isn't even aware of and because of it, many on facebook were confused with what tommy was even on (though I am an enjoyer of the jealousy I'm not gonna lie, I'm just ugh about the execution). also probably this is just me but, I know there's a point that yeah you're supposed to feel bad for tommy when buck lashes out but you're ALSO supposed to understand why buck reacted the way he did and empathize with him (which is something the convo with maddie helps for).

edit: also this is not so say there wasn't an intent with buck and tommy either, actually there is a point with tommy wanting to try again (even with him going on about how buck feels) and buck also wanting that too. like obviously they're also telling the audience that they could get back together but miscommunication.

so where am I going with this? nothing much, as I said is a bunch of scrambled thoughts I've had for a while I just needed to get them out. also I think since I'm writing this "buck and tommy try to be friends" fic it's got me thinking about the difference between my interpretations vs what the show's actually trying to tell me.

[bisexualbrainrots]

youtube knows what I like (has been recommending me the first kiss video for like two weeks at this point)

[bisexualbrainrots]

had a slightly angsty bucktommy fic idea even though I'm not used to writing it (it's a flavor of miscommunication and torturing my dolls, which I'm not used to but the potential was there)

so I'm definitely thinking about buck inviting dwayne to live with him until he can eventually move out, it's tough at first but they eventually make up a routine that works for them, when he can buck takes him to meetings and such, maybe they talk a bit about each other's lives too.

so I think there's this one day where buck bumps into tommy at a hardware store (buck wants to learn how to fix his kitchenaid to not buy a new one), they talk a little and it feels good, feels easy. buck even mentions to tommy he found a place! and that he's excited about it!

thing is, buck forgets to take one of the tools he bought from his basket and tommy takes that as an opportunity to go see him. it's nighttime when he gets there but instead of seeing buck from the other side it's dwayne. tommy has no idea who this is and when he asks dwayne says he lives with buck.

and that's when buck appears and us surprised to see tommy there, dwayne even asks him "this is tommy?", and tommy gives buck the tool and wishes them a good night. that sort of centers buck back (since he was a bit out of it when he saw tommy at his door) and he goes after tommy. thing is, he isn't exactly panicking or anything, but seeing tommy leave again and make assumptions again does something to him and he's mad now.

so before tommy even gets in his car buck is like "seriously?" and they have a little discussion that ends with tommy being like "I can't do this" and buck like "you can't? you can't— okay, then, don't" and puts the tool back in his hand and gets back into his house. he shuts the door and slides down to the floor, sniffling as holds his own face, dwayne even has to force him to sit and eat.

and days later while buck and dwayne are buying groceries they accidentally meet with tommy again and the tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife. like I'm talking awkward as fuck, snarky comments here and there, just A MESS. and tommy mentions something about it being good that buck found someone and dwayne is like "huh??? who told you we were together?" and buck just looks at tommy expectantly and now it's even more confusing (but not really), so buck explains again that no, they're not together bad that he's he lives with buck because he's helping him out.

aaaaaand that's as far as I got plot wise, in my mind tommy goes back to buck's place to talk with him and they (especially buck) get to say a few things before officially kissing and making up.

[bisexualbrainrots]

“we've finally managed to be friends! so why don't we fuck about it?”

- buck and tommy in this fic I'm writing