#abroadadventure

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Christmas in Wales on 🎞️ A little pocket of calm in the chaos that was the end of last year.

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A golden day in all the ways 🧡

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Yeahhh the first week here did not go to plan, I started to feel sick on Monday night, tested positive for covid, guess I caught it on the plane. Yay! So instead of going on nice runs and spending time with Ben's family and enjoying being in the UK in general I isolated from them all, and tried to survive being a snot monster while also trying to write my thesis. At least it didn't get me anywhere near as badly as last summer, I started to feel better on Friday and am almost back to normal now, along with a near negative test too. And I had this snuggly puppy keeping me company, he stayed with me almost all the time, as if he knew I needed cheering up 🥺 and I still made a decent start on the thesis too. So it could have been worse. Felt very sorry for myself earlier in the week haha but right now it just feels amazing feeling more normal again!

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Survived the final few weeks in the lab despite the stress and chaos of finishing. From tomorrow it's thesis writing time! And my supervisor agreed to let me do it remotely so we're in the UK for the next couple of weeks, visiting Ben's family first and then some friends. I took the weekend off to try and recover some energy after 6 weeks of working weekends etc, and it's been amazing, I feel so much further removed from all the stress just being somewhere else, and getting that bit of time off was just what I needed. Also feels kind of full circle because I spent lockdown here right after starting my PhD, so I wrote my project proposal in this house and now I'm writing my thesis here too.

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Bouldering in the peak yesterday! I love this place so much. Feels totally surreal to be back but also sooo good.

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I had a shitty day today. When I got to the gym I didn't feel like climbing, and it didn't get much better throughout the session. My body felt achy and tired. I haven't been climbing much lately so I didn't climb very well either. Didn't do anything of note. But when I left all the anxious spirals that my mind tries to fall into all day were gone. When I climb my mind goes quiet, and even after, I get a few hours of peace.

I've started over with climbing more times than I can count. I've gotten strong and lost it all again. Every time I stop I go back to square one because I lose specific strength so quickly, but mostly because the fear comes back and takes months to leave. I'm not naturally suited to climbing - I don't have a climbers body and probably never will, I'm not naturally good at complex, coordinated movements, I'm not fearless. But that quiet and peace in my mind is worth it all. The feeling of doing a route I couldn't previously finish is worth it. The fun of it is, too. But it's the peace and quiet that I crave the most. And that's why it doesn't matter if I never get "good". I love it anyway.

[I just went through all my old climbing posts to collect these pictures and felt very nostalgic - I don't know if you can tell from the *vibes* but these are all from different gyms! All the different ones I've loved and called my second home over the years 💕 and some of my favourite crags as well]

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For the past few weeks as it got warmer and warmer and sunnier out, I've been dreaming about a very specific type of summer run: early evening easy trails in the sun, coming home to a nice cold fancy drink, making dinner and eating on the balcony. I went on plenty of evening runs but we always had jobs to do after, or it was so late I needed to go to sleep, etc etc. When I told Ben about the fantasy he suggested doing it on my birthday, when we'd be in the UK and have a bit more time. That was yesterday, when it poured all afternoon 🤣 didn't quite fulfill the sunny fantasy, but I got my run, I got my nice drink and I got pizza for dinner and honestly, it was just as awesome. Felt really good too and ran some fast miles. 26 is off to a good start!

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The big June trip has commenced :D got to Ben's parents place on Thursday and drove up to Sheffield today for a few days. It's been lovely so far, exhausting but fun - lots of socialising, a bit of work, lots of runs and walks with their dog, whom I love as much as you would expect from the number of pictures he is featured in haha. It's so strange being back in sheff but I'm really looking forward to the next few days 💕