#accomplishmentsish

[maggiejulienne]

One hour, ten pages.

It would be SO much more sly impressive if it wasn't so much poetry form, but this is, alas

Book 7

Starting pages: 138

Starting words:20,240

Ending pages: 148

Ending words: 21,675

Gee this book is awkwardly personal, and yet not at all. It's also very simple to write, which is why I'm using it to escape my editing responsibilities under the guise of creative progress tolololololol

[maggiejulienne]

I think I got the hang of this Thursday . . .

Finally got the scene sent off to the Dustbowl musical (as I mentioned) and then did a whole buncha work on Book 1.10. Overall, I wrote 19 pages today, which is more than I've done in a long time :)

I also found time to rehearse and to play with the ratlings quite a bit, not to mention draw a sketch for "Romeo x Juliet" and I just started an "Alice in Wonderland" one. I'm really enjoying drawing again, because it's something I'm just okay at, so it doesn't set off my perfectionism, because I know I'm doing it just for fun. But at the same time it stimulates my brain creatively in between writing sessions in a way that, oh, say, iPad games and idle websites don't necessarily. 

Book 1.10 is a sensible 62 pages and 11,592 words, which is basically on-track for where I am plot-wise in comparison to the last draft from which I'm still working.

Meanwhile, I'm on page 250 out of 326 on Book 5.3, which is SO SO CLOSE, but I think I'm once again suffering from spiral syndrome (ie my tendency to exponentially decrease the speed at which I can work the closer I get to the end of a piece, apparently even in editing). Hopefully I'll have a new perspective on it tomorrow and can really nail it down. It's just so much more fun to play than to edit, so I keep jumping ship to 1.10 :)

[maggiejulienne]

All's Well . . .

That ends well.

I worked SO hard today, and I'm really proud of all that I accomplished. Not that it was THAT much, mind you, but I really worked to make sure that various set-backs were overcome.

I think part of what helped was that I rewarded myself. Writing and creating is SO rewarding in and of itself, but sometimes it feels a little . . . I don't know . . . eternal? I may write 5-8 hours a day for days at a time and the days sort of all blur together and sometimes it can seem hard to remember that I should be proud of myself for sticking to it.

So I got myself a cupcake from Magnolia as a snack and I had Shake Shack for dinner. Midday, I took a break and went to Book-Off where I bought DVDs of "Spirited Away" and "My Neighbor Totoro."

Tonight I took a break to draw some "Spirited Away" fan art. I haven't taken the time to do visual art in a long, long time. I may post some later, because it made me happy to draw :)

AS FOR THE WRITING ITSELF

I finally wrote the third sample scene for the Dustbowl musical I'm writing w/ Doug Makuta (the one that was comissioned by the children's theater company). I didn't absolutely love it, but at least I got SOMETHING down on paper and I can improve on it from there. I think I might send the producers this scene as well as a new and improved copy of an older scene, because I'm not sure which will ultimately contrast better for the backers with the current package we're sending. I can't wait to hear the demos. No, like seriously. I can't wait. Because I need to put the new lyrics into these sample scenes.

I also did some lovely editing/re-reading/re-writing on Book 5.3. It's currently grown a little bit, but this read-through was more about tracking character development, logic, and filling in the last few missing gaps. The next (and hopefully last on this draft) read-through will be about cutting it back down again, word by word (though there's also some of that this draft) so I'm not getting toooo worried about the fact that it's grown some. Book 5.3 is currently a sensible 56,268 words, which isn't unbearable. I'm on page 207 of 316. I have all day tomorrow to write (unless I finally do laundry for the first time in a literal month and a half whoops), so there's a possibility I'll finish this read-through in the next day or two, which would be lovely.

I also FINALLY finished the outline for Screenplay 1.2 which is my first full-length screenplay of which I am now on my second draft. The outline was KILLER; I thought I was gonna write out a very simple 1 page 12-beat thingy in like ten minutes, it ended up being 10 pages in 5 days. So. There was that. The fun part is that I was basing the outline off of the guideposts in my father's book on screenwriting, so whenever I had questions about my outline, I got to call the author of the textbook and make sure I was doing everything spot on :) The outline is now in daddy's hands, so he'll give me his professional opinion whenever he gets the chance. He's super busy right now (beyond teaching screenwriting, he's also a director/producer and about to go to Washington? I think? to do a movie, not to mention that this movie he was hired to write called "Tio Papi" is coming out super soon etc etc), but hopefully he'll get to it sooner rather than later so I can begin to apply the new outline and really write this second draft.

Today was the first day in quite some time that I truly felt like I accomplished everything I needed to, AND I got to spend time socializing with a friend. It just reminded me that it's so important to keep everything balanced. Working my butt off on writing doesn't mean that I need to deprive myself of food, friends, or fan art. That doesn't make me more talented. It just makes me a whiny martyr. Sometimes I need to let myself live a little in order to produce my best work.

Au revoir lovely little world. Hopefully tonight will be less insomniaish than the last few, and hopefully tomorrow will continue this streak of things . . . I don't know . . . just flowing, I guess :)

[maggiejulienne]

One hour later

and I managed to get 2.5-3ish sections done, and all within the timeline I had given myself. Which leads us to two very important conclusions:

- It doesn't take me very long to accomplish what I need to, but it can take a VERY long time to sit down and just do it.

- This is okay, because thought cannot be measured. And all of the time spent procrastinating, reading, watching, playing, etc, is also time spent learning, absorbing, and processing. And who knows what lines of dialogue in "Death Note" or what line in "Popular Song" may have been the tiny little trigger to unblock some creative problem in the recesses of my mind? Know what I mean? 

- That being said, it does get to a point where once I'm "hooked in" I need to turn off anything that's starting to draw my focus and switch on background noise. This was REALLY helpful. I should remember that if I put SOMETHING on, I'm more likely to stay focused than if I put NOTHING on and then have to search for something. This refers to music. Not clothing.

Book 5.3, cute thing, is currently at a sensible 297 pages and 52,8112 words. I think at it's heaviest it was around 350 maybe even higher? And then after the last HUGE cuts in preparation for rewrites based on my editor's notes it may have been around as low as 250. So I feel great about this. I'm aiming for a sensible 300-320ish goal, maybe 55,000 words give or take ultimately? Whatever feels right for it at the time, but right now I'm thinking that the happy medium is where it's going to want to settle <3

[maggiejulienne]

Sometimes, It Seems Easier

to lie in bed and watch "Death Note" on Hulu+ with your writing partner's username and password and think about the past and the future and anything but the present while your rats play on the bed and you're very warm and very . . . content.

I say "content" and not "happy" because I'm not 100% happy; I know there are things I should be doing that I'm not. And I need to do them. Namely, writing.

Musical #1 has been sent to the producers/director and I (along with Neil Reilly) await feedback anxiously but patiently, so nothing to be done there.

Musical #2 is also in space; the recordings have been made, the demos submitted, and the producer has two sample scenes from me. I'm awaiting his instructions on the third and final sample.

which brings us to

Book 5.3

Oh book 5.3. You little beastie, you. I've been working on it every day for almost a week now, which I kinda want a cookie for, but I know it's my job and that makes me happy :) My problem isn't writer's block, it's just . . . that spiral feeling. The idea that the closer you get to finishing a book, the harder it becomes. Because it goes from being huge, broad brushstrokes on a blank canvas to fitting in the last tiny puzzle pieces, balancing the last tiny blocks on a structure without having it collapse. It goes from being fun and reckless and free to very controlled and precise and specific because you have to think of what comes before and after it. 

11:11. Made a wish <3

With Book 5.3, there are two different agents waiting to potentially take a look at it. When friends ask me what writing I need to get done, I say I need to incorporate the last of my editor's notes into a novel so I can submit it to agents so I can get rejected so I can start the cycle over again because screw it, I'm 22.

I'm kidding, and I'm not.

I spent so long making myself neurotic about my age and about the arbitraryish goal of publication that I've learned to let things go. It doesn't matter. Nothing matters other than living my life to the fullest and trying to make those I care about it as happy as possible :) and to include me within the list of people about whom I care!

So here's how this is going to go.

I had, quite cleverly I thought, made the other day a LIST OF SECTIONS that needed completion on a digital post-it note. My goal is going to be to 

(i) finish TWO of these sections

(ii) still get to sleep around 1:30-2:00am

It's okay to feel unmotivated. It's okay to feel lazy. It's important to keep going, and to shake that spiral feeling.