#ace spec stuff

[the-obnoxious-sibling]

it's not like I'm not used to feeling alienated whenever i go (#myalienation), but this thanksgiving was the first one where a majority of my cousins brought a significant other, and i felt like some bizarre kind of anthropologist, watching them clustered in their pairs, operating as a unit, seeing the way this same behavior is going to play out in years to come.

thinking back on it now, after the ??? of the night has passed, i feel the strangest combination of discomfort and… jealousy maybe?? like, i do not want to exist as a collective noun but god would it be nice to have someone on my team at these events.

[the-obnoxious-sibling]

a girl: *is nice to me*

me: :)

a guy: *is nice to me*

me: ...why would he do that? what does that mean? does he want something from me? does he like me? why does that matter? why do i care? do i like him? oh god, what do i do--

[the-obnoxious-sibling]

heh, i thought to myself, i will hc jon magnusarchives as a trekkie for My Personal Amusement

also for My Personal Amusement: he will overidentify with spock!  because... because of how hard spock clings to logic when he’s Having An Emotion, obviously! lol, no surprise jon relates to that.

...and because spock is always at a remove from the camaraderie of his workplace, no matter how hard or often they invite him to be in on the joke.

...a-and because he never expresses sexual interest outside contrived genre situations...

...and... and because the fandom's queer ship of choice is dismissed (pseudo-canonically) as a possibility because his would-be partner likes having sex more than once every seven years..........

[the-obnoxious-sibling]

ace is a solid book, very allo!reader-oriented but that's for good reason (a good chunk of the book is devoted to pointing out the ways ace liberation benefits allos), but boy did i not expect to get called out like this:

or like this:

[lupinedreaming-archive]

To my fellow ace spec peeps: It’s okay if your feelings about sex shift over time! During the first few years of knowing I was ace spec, I was straight up sex repulsed. The idea of looking at or reading smut repulsed me, as did the idea of doing anything sexual with someone else.

Over time, this has shifted, and I’d likely call myself sex neutral to sex favorable — basically sliding between the two depending on the day. I know I enjoy reading that sort of thing on fiction and like spicy art, but I still have some complex feelings about what sorts of sexual things I would consider doing with another person.

Some people will have the same feelings about sex their whole lives, and for others it will shift like it did for me. None of this makes you more or less ace spec! 🖤 🩶 🤍 💜

[lupinedreaming-archive]

My brand of asexuality is SO confusing, dude 😭 Like, I’m gray ace.

IRL, I’m functionally pretty much fully asexual because I’ve literally never felt sexual attraction to someone I know or have seen IRL. My attraction tends to be toward characters, and I’ve only felt genuine sexual attraction to an actual actor a small handful of times.

(Said actor was James Spader, which is hilariously appropriate since he’s most known for playing Weird Sex Guy characters.)

[the-obnoxious-sibling]

“I’m aromantic!”

“You’re biromantic with intimacy issues!”

“What’s the difference!”

- this tma fic that is just absolutely dragging me tonight

[exlibrisfangirl]