Not Always Love and Light; Shadows Exist Too.
Recently, I’ve been struggling with my inability to actualize my goals. There are so many things that pique my interest and inspire me. Reiki and natural healing are the fields I feel most drawn but I also love writing and theorizing. I love physical movement like running and dancing, I love creation, art and metal work. I love community and networking, connecting and collaborating together. There isn’t one direction my head swivels toward and at times it feels like it’s going to snap off before I actually commit to creating something. Society isn’t built for adventurers and explorers; they want slave workers, numb and depressed. They want workers so concerned with trying to survive they’re unable to pull their heads above water long enough to realize even drowning. I’m struggling to survive and on top of that I’ve been struggling to align with what pushes me higher, pushes me closer to myself and my soul.. It seems every step I’ve taken has been abruptly stopped short. Chaos seems to find me no matter how far I run. I read in a breakdown of my chart once that if I try to take the normal route, chaos will find me and stir the entirety of my existence. Normalcy isn’t in my path and I keep trying to force it in. The chaos keeps finding me and I feel I’ve been starting from square one my entire life. There isn’t a grand epiphany here, I guess I’m trying to say it’s been hard. And if you aren’t reaching your goals and feel a bit discouraged, you are not alone. It’s hard to exist in this reality right now. The state of Gaia, the economy, of humanity in general is pretty alarming and stress inducing. I think if you’re doing your best and showing up for yourself, that’s what’s being asked. Honor yourself and your heart, show up for yourself physically and metaphysically and it should all start to align. Blessings to you all, thank you for your time.
-Luna Anahata