Demisexual Lucanis
Some headcanons and discussions of demisexuality as it relates to trauma and age and our favourite pixel crow 🖤🐦⬛
Context: I’m demisexual and was thrilled when Mary Kirby confirmed she wrote Lucanis with that intention.
More context: All of this thinking went into this fic, but there was nowhere it naturally fit, so I’m dumping it all here instead.
I suspect my own demi-ness is linked to my cptsd, so it makes perfect sense to me to read Lucanis in that way too.
You do not have to think either of these things. Or adopt to Mary Kirby’s intentions into your headcanon. It's simply the angle I'm coming from.
Why do age and trauma matter?
I personally don't vibe with the idea that inexperienced + demi = awkward or afraid of sex.
Demi is on the ace spectrum but being ace doesn’t necessarily mean being sex repulsed. (Let’s all say it until we’re blue in the face.)
You can be a filth goblin and be disinclined to direct that energy at anybody you’re not connected to. (Hello it’s me 👋)
And re: trauma - If you’ve grown up in an environment where your nervous system rarely went into safe mode, it makes perfect sense that you could struggle to enjoy sex without more emotional safety.
🚨I am not saying that all demi people are suffering from c-ptsd - I just think it can make sense for many people myself included.🚨
So let’s look at how I personally think this affects our sexy pixel crow 🖤🐦⬛
1. Lucanis is well into his thirties.
He’s never had sex or a relationship, but he has been in the world as an elite assassin surrounded by every type of vice available, even if he didn’t partake.
He’s confident and trusts his body - when he’s in control of it at least. It’s his livelihood.
It’s impossible to overstate the difference that ⬆️ makes when it comes to sex.
The easily-flustered awkwardness we associate with first time sexual encounters is of course natural, but I can’t tell you how well that’s mitigated by getting older + being confident and present in your body, especially if it’s with somebody you care about.
2. Lucanis is a traumatised perfectionist
A common habit of the traumatised, especially those traumatised by an exacting parental figure, is the tendency to overplan. Focus on the details. Research as much as possible to be good at stuff.
I'm guessing that trait is amplified to the nth degree if you're also an elite assassin.
Lucanis would note details from reading (fiction, anatomy, biology etc.), from overheard conversations, from confidences Illario has shared. Hell he might even have asked a sex worker or two what common mistakes they wish more people knew about, given the opportunity.
He’s likely to have a fairly good idea exactly what ought to be done, how it works, how it shouldn't work, common tips, tricks and technques, common mistakes, all of that.
We know he's been into people before, even if it wasn't reciprocated, so it's not that he hasn't been interested in sex, he just hasn't had the opporunity to test out his knowledge.
So...what? You're saying he'd be a pro fuck-artist 'cause he obsessively studied to pass his sex exam?
No. Although that would be hilariously fucked up.
Lucanis is an assassin. A good one. He can read body language, especially the body language of the person he's romantically interested in.
He has studied his entire life to master control of his body, he's confident with it.
Obviously I think he'd be a bit flustered, and nervous, but on seeing the result of his attentions would quickly learn what drove his partner insane and focus on that rather than his fears.
