soft wildin' aesthetic @totallynotjohngreen - Tumblr Blog

hey here’s a fact for all of my followers who follow me. butter, ice cream, milk, and cheese all come to us from the same animal. i cant remember which animal it is right now but i know for sure its the same one

cigaretteslutx

Ill give you a hint, it moos

officialunitedstates

thanks yeah it’s the moose

sakura-haruka

gen-zee

I love how confused adults get with our humor and vine refrences cause like i just replied to my brother with ‘four female ghostbusters?? the feminist are taking over!!’ and he just screams ‘IM AN ADULT VIRGIN’ and my mom still has no idea what we’re talking about

curiosityisfatal-deactivated202

Sometimes I fear we accidentally created a new language

gen-zee

why fear it when you can embrace it

wildlyunlikelybabe

We actually have…an updated version. You know how the idioms we have are said but never finished because it’s assumed that as long as the person you’re talking to speaks the same language they’ll understand the rest?

Ie. Jack of all trades master of none->better than a master of one

Great minds think alike->but fools rarely differ

Over time the second half gets lost because it’s been passed down orally so some idioms meanings have been warped but that’s a different conversation (ie. “Blood is thicker than water” is actually “the blood of the convent is thicker than the water of the womb”)

Vine are like that for us. You only need say the first half and every person under 30 knows the second half, no context needed. It’s cool as shit how the internet has done that for us. Vine sayings have become idioms in a sense…

gen-zee

road work ahead??

tunsoffestivepuns

I SURE HOPE IT DOES

smolwaterbean-deactivated201903

omg there’s a Road Work Ahead sign in the theater shop at my college and i’ve come so close to screaming “road work ahead? um yeah i sure hope it does” so. many. times

aidn

just to avoid accidentally using offensive language i’m going to start using 90s surfer dude slang because inadvertently offending someone is totally bogus dude

watchthelightfade

people might not want to be called dude

aidn

you are radically right and that is so not tubular my friend i apologise

surirn-blog

I find your poor grammar and spelling to be offensive to my eyes.

aidn

watch me catch this gnarly wave of i don’t care

unaffect-deactivated20180812

good morning but at what cost

snowflake-collections-deactivat

Let me show you one of my favorite images on the internet: nuns performing “exorcism” on a very patient punk dude

Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dbXr3GikQE

satan-but-boring-deactivated201

Absolutely superb you funky little punk man

#i love people

brucie-deactivated05092020-deac

Petition for there to be a Tony Stark cameo in every marvel film after A4 where he’s just chilling while the world goes to shit

im-leaving-this-blog-now-bye-de

signed

starkravinghazelnuts-deactivate

RDJ takes over as the new cameo guy in each MCU film. It’ll just be little things like:

Tony with cucumber slices on his eyes, treating himself at the spa; he hears a loud crash outside. He peels the cucumber slice off one eye, looking outside the window. Giant Man has just thrown a tractor trailer across town. He lays back down, “Glad it’s not my problem.”

Peter Parker has had a long adventure and then he gets a ping on his phone. It’s a video of Tony and baby Morgan playing with a Spider-Man action figure.

A quick flash on the news of interviewers hounding Tony while he’s feeding pigeons at the park. “Would Iron Man like to comment?” Tony just stares blankly at them, “Iron Man? Who’s that?” then rollers skates pop out of his loafers and he zips away.

marvel-lous-things

lovelytonys

please please please please please

gmwsource

koobaxion-deactivated20220403

say goodbye to Thanos

q8p

what happened

koobaxion-deactivated20220403

They’re making him white

blue-elk-deactivated20250703

???

koobaxion-deactivated20220403

This is what he looks like now

blue-elk-deactivated20250703

This is a sin

tootransforthis-deactivated2021

Teacher: Ok class you are going to *brain stops precessing their words as sounds and it turns into unintelligible gibberish* ok, go

Me: what?

wehaveallgotknives

this morning on yard duty, i saved a large, sleepy bumble bee from some children who were gonna stomp on it because children are afraid of things. the bee was cold, and moving very slowly, not up to flying yet. i picked up the bee and it climbed my arm. the children screamed. i told them it was ok. the bee got onto my neck and into my hair. the children kept telling me that it was in my hair. i turned my head so the bee was in the sun. i stood there with the children and the bee until it warmed up and flew away. see, i said, it didn’t hurt me. if you don’t hurt things, they usually don’t hurt you.

wehaveallgotknives

I went back to this school after a week away and a boy in year one in the lunch line said to me “remember when you holded the bee?”