This post is about adderall and how I feel on it. If I need to add other tags, let me know.
I just went to the doctor yesterday (partly for a potential infection and partly to get a prescription written for my adderall which I've been off of for a year because I was too scared to call to make an appointment) and I took my dose of my adderall this morning and I am buzzy and floaty and I can't remember the last time I felt this focused. I'm trying to think of another word for how focused I feel because "focused" doesn't cut it. I feel like a laser. I feel like I could do anything with pinpoint accuracy, try it once and do it perfectly.
I feel like I could do anything.
The absolute worst part of this is that I know the feeling won't last. It never lasts. A week, maybe two, and all I feel from the taking it is anxiety. A slight but persistent trouble with my breathing. A minor stomachache. I don't feel the giddiness. I don't feel that "I can and will do anything" attitude anymore.
I've lived my life learning that if a pill you take makes you feel good, that's bad. That's the start of an addiction. What if that good feeling is simply the ability to be? The ability to do? There are many different ways you could define "good".
My definition of good for how I feel when I take my meds for the first week is simply "I am able to do what you do".
My definition of good is not “I need more”.
I think the funniest part is you can really tell when I do take my meds cuz I write long-ass posts like this one.