Age: 15
Country: United States
First started having symptoms of OCD: I started displaying ritualistic behaviors when I was really young because that’s when I first started pulling out my hair. I remember my mom shaving my hair into a certain style when I was probably five because I used to pull out so much of my hair that I was bald in some places.
First realized I had OCD: When I was twelve. I started to have problems with intrusive thoughts and skin picking. At this point I had stopped pulling my hair.
One of my common obsessions: Abandonment/Intrusive Thoughts. I especially think about the people I feel left me behind in my life and constantly fear that I’m going to be left behind or that I’m useless.
One of my common compulsions: Skin picking/counting.
How I’m being treated: I’m not being treated at the moment.
Things that make me feel better: Talking to my friend because she always seems to keep my mind off certain things, music, writing, actively participating in something—usually not a group activity but something like drawing even though I can’t draw.— and being around some sort of positivity.
My current dream: I want to become better at writing and eventually complete a story that I feel good about. I also want to become a psychiatrist and help people in a situation like the one I am in right now because I know how it feels to blame yourself and feel as if you’re alone and have no one to turn to.
One piece of advice that’s stuck with me:
“It pains to be beautiful.” I never met my grandfather on my mother’s side but he always used to say that to my mom and she says it to me. My mom probably doesn’t think much of this piece of advice but to me it applies to multiple situations whether it’s something bigger than myself or something minuscule. I also love how the meaning changes with each person to conform to their perception of beauty.
