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My mom: I don’t have ADHD!
Also my mom: I struggle with audio processing but have perfect hearing. Whenever I’m frustrated I just start making duck noises, it helps. I like those weird fidget things, they help make me focused. Coffee calms me down. Lights can be so loud.
Me: ….. yuh huh
*sad clown music plays in the background*
the funny thing is, i get the most comments about how my meds are “bad for me” when I haven’t even taken them that morning.
so many traits of adhd are inaccurately attributed to being symptoms of the medicine that is actually helping lessen those symptoms. especially sleep problems, which many many adhd folks struggle with (going to bed at a reasonable hour, waking up on time, actually feeling alert in the morning..)
anyway, why do we have to have a doctor’s level of knowledge on meds to justify our own mental health to people? why do we have to explain how our brain works to every passer-by? I’m tired of people thinking they know what’s better for my brain than I do.
I got diagnosed! But...
Brah! This is way better than what I thought it would be!! My parents have been trying to convince me that I don’t have ADHD like my research suggested because I do fine in school and that I just get a little distracted. The family doctor recommended I do a Psycoeducational Evaluation. My Dad even said once it was just a waste of money. But then came the results and I was actually trying not to laugh.
Not only do I have ADHD predominantly inattentive type but I’m also diagnosed for Dyslexia and Anxiety.
My parents trying to wrap around their heads that I have ADHD and a learning disorder:
It’s kind of sad that you have to have really bad grades for people to believe that you struggle. And this isn’t to undermine those with ADHD or any other learning disorder in school because its hard especially when you are in an environment that doesn’t have any support. But because I had good enough grades my parents refused to understand that school was difficult. That it was hard to keep concentrated during studying and work. That I found myself reading the same question five times but couldn’t comprehend what it was asking. That I couldn’t read a book without skipping over sentences, paragraphs (sometimes an entire page). That I already long come to terms that I function differently from my peers but I mask it or learnt how to cope with some issues after years of trial and error because frankly it was embarrassing and frustrating that no one else around me seemed to go through the same things.
At the end of the day, you really can’t let someone dictate what is and what is not wrong with you. Only you know your struggles the best.
I totally lost my point but I know can get proper support from my school and was recommended start psychotherapy and meds, which is actually another uphill battle because my parents are against ADHD medication... sigh
One step at a time I guess. I’m just basking in the ‘I told you so’ at the moment.
She’s always distracted....
It took me a while for my parents to accept that I have ADHD. I didn’t even guess until I was in college when I finally did a search on ‘How to be less distracted?’ Even with all my research I kept seeing references to ADHD that I was in denial about. When you go your entire life blaming yourself its hard to open your mind. I even went so far as to research issues with distraction that were NOT ADHD. Part of me was convinced that my parents and teachers would have noticed. That ADHD was an issue more burdensome than me just not paying attention. Truthfully, I didn’t know what ADHD was, I was just dead set on the idea that the problem was me but my curiosity won out in the end and I finally looked it up. Within those few days of research I finally came to accept that I may have ADHD. It wasn’t just the distraction in my classroom, home and work, it was the forgetfulness, it was the hyperfocus, it was the intense emotions, the hyperactivity I had as a kid, it was present in my everyday life. The more I read, the more I saw myself. You see some people think Acceptance is the final stage but strangely for me after Acceptance came anger.
You see after understanding that these issues were not my fault especially since I lacked proper coping mechanisms I started to look back and I wonder how did my parents and teachers not realize!
At first I thought maybe my symptoms weren’t prevalent but scratch that my symptoms were repeated to me and my parents for almost my entire school career. ‘She’s always distracted’ ‘She make so many careless mistakes’ ‘She needs to settle down’ ‘She’s a smart kid but she’s not applying herself’ ‘She never seems to be here’ ‘She always daydreaming’ ‘She slow but she’s capable’. And this one always intrigued me the most I didn’t know this. I just happened to be stressing about a standardized test cause I knew the answers but because of the time limit I either couldn’t finish or made many mistakes and my mom suddenly pops out like “Yeah, your teacher would say ‘she knows how to do the work but it takes her a while to understand what the question is asking her to do’” and no lie a few months after I get diagnosed with a Specific Learning Disorder with impairment in Reading Comprehension. Like yeah, that would explain why I’m reading the same question ten times.
So it occurred to me that my teachers and parents did recognize some of the symptoms. In fact some saw issues that I didn’t notice myself. But why didn’t they pick up on my ADHD.
First thing is that I really think teachers aren’t educated to pick up on these kind of things. I had teachers that really went over and beyond for me to keep up in my school work. It’s kind of sad because sometimes teachers are in the best situation to notice these symptoms and discuss it with parents especially in primary school. Early diagnosis really goes a long way.
Second reason and I think this goes for my parents and less helpful teachers, they just can’t believe that it could be anything but me. Even diagnosed with ADHD I’m pretty sure they would just say I’m making excuses for myself. The saddest part is that their thoughts won out in the end. I did believe the problem was me so I never spoke up about my issues. I bottled them away. My anxiety grew out of control and I failed to develop proper coping mechanisms. My self-esteem to to a fatal shot. Most days I just don’t see myself as smart or as capable as my peers.
Nowadays I can see if people not close to me find it harder to pick up the symptoms. After years of being called out for it I tried my hardest to hide them. One of my good friends said that if someone is paying attention to me they will pick somethings up and I’ve found that to be the case with the ones closest to me.
Maybe I’m asking for too much of teachers but I really wished that there was someone who pointed this out early in my life. I don’t think it would be smooth-sailing but maybe it would have been more fun. At least I would have gotten that extra time, I rightfully deserved in those standardized tests.
Has anyone managed to handle, politely of course, a smart person you can't just tell to GTFO or dismiss with "go read about it"? My hb has this friend who just won't believe anyone who can keep a "normal" job could possibly have ADHD. As if we were all... I don't know. Utterly incapable of living? He says that if a person can't focus, then how come they manage to keep a job? I mean. I can't even.... I just take it slow, really. My job allows me to do that. I became speechless (pun not int'd)
I guess your options are to either answer his questions like they’re actually legitimate questions he really doesn’t know the answers to, offer to send him some links to some more information about it if he really wants to know, or tell him you’re not comfortable discussing ADHD with him until he’s willing to be more respectful of you and your condition. It’s okay to set boundaries like that with people you can’t dismiss.
-J
i just had my first experience with somebody sitting in front of me and going on about how adhd isnt real and that people who say they have adhd are attention seekers and oh my god it was so awkward i wanted to hide under my school desk in shame
I’m so sorry that happened to you. Please know that you have nothing to be ashamed of! You know that you aren’t an attention seeker and that the person who was saying those things was being a complete jerk.
-J
I like confrontation, so, depending on the exact situation, I might have raised my hand and asked, “So, do I seem like an attention-seeker to you?” I most often speak up when someone goes on about Medicating The Children because medicating my ADHD has made such a positive difference in my life. Anyway, though, science and medicine are on your side with this. ADHD exists. You shouldn’t be ashamed of having ADHD any more than someone should be ashamed of being nearsighted.
—Elise
Followers, has something like this happened to you? How did you deal with it?
hii!! do you know of any information about the long term effects of taking concerta. so i take 72mg of concerta and people are constantly telling me that i take too much n that it will mess my body up and such but i've found that 72mg works best for me and its something both me and my doctor agree on, but now im a bit paranoid about doing some kind of damage as a result of my meds
Are the people who are telling you that taking Concerta will mess your body up certified medical professionals who have access to your medical files? If not, don’t listen to them. There is no evidence that therapeutic stimulant use has long-term effects on the body.
–Elise
is it just me or was that article hypercritical? the author spent around...2 or 3 paragraphs about how different everyone is, but then turned around and practically said that there are 2 types of boys? (i honestly really want to see this author's paper copy of his PhD as well, there's no way a actual doctor could come up with that bullshit. I'm nearly 16, with not even a year of high school education and i could do better bullshitting then that.)
You are absolutely right that the article contradicts itself while not backing up any of its claims with any scientific evidence of any kind.
Unfortunately, Dr Robert Berezin’s MD is very real, thus proving that even intelligent people can delude themselves into believing things that are contradicted by pretty much all scientific evidence and even contradicted by other things they believe. Just look at all the educated parents who don’t vaccinate their children despite the overwhelming scientific evidence that vaccines don’t cause autism and that childhood illnesses could kill their unvaccinated children.
—Elise
(Here’s the link to our discussion about the article, for readers who are wondering what the heck we’re talking about.)
