About get my hands on the guardians of child hood books. Any advice?

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About get my hands on the guardians of child hood books. Any advice?
How do you astral project? I have done my research, and I've tried it, but I can't seem to grasp it. I know I can, because I accidentally projected when I was 9 and I was like "woah". However, I haven't been able to manage it since :(
Any advice is appreciated❤️
Had a quick random gender discussion with Mom that...did not go the best. Not horrible, but not great, either.
And now I’m spiraling into a period of feeling utterly suffocated by my life.
It started the other day with the realisation (or, more, reminder) that I am 100% never surgically transitioning. I’ve had enough invasive procedures in my little life, thank you.
Then yesterday finding out that there’s a high chance I can’t bind because I have severe scoliosis.
Then today, trying to mention my identity to my mother, who just writes it off and says “I wonder what new weird things they’ll come up with in fifty years.” This isn’t the first time I’ve told her my identity. I came out to her like two years ago. I thought she was at least more neutral.
I could handle it if it weren’t combined with the sudden feeling of crisis the other night. I was trying to get to sleep when a thought crashed into me and I was like holy crap, I cannot remain an English major. I love English, but it’s not what I really want to do. It’s not where my heart lay. It’s not where I want fulfillment. I want to do something in the medical field. I’ve always felt destined for it. I just, in my combination of circumstances, have no idea how to get there.
I’m just, right now, feeling completely out of control, feeling desperate and overwhelmingly like it’s impossible for me to be who I am and who I want to be. I can’t transition to any degree. I can’t do what I feel destined to do. I don’t know how to achieve what I’m meant to be.
Need some advice
I was thinking about selling some art as prints and such, but I'm not sure what the best site would be for that? I'm kinda leaning towards Redbubble, but the cut is so steep! So I dunno. If anyone could help me out, I would really appreciate it.
Studyblr community I need your help!
What do you do over the long summer break? Or slightly more specifically what do you do over the long summer break when the next academic year is completely unrelated to the previous one and you have no prep work assigned and can’t read around in the usual way? I’ve just finished my history degree and am doing a computing/programming year next year. I’d really like to collate some ideas and share them for people in a similar situation who suddenly have no work to do or perhaps are adjusting to a post study life in the “real” world.
Xxx
The thing is no matter how old you are you don't know everything. Your opinions should be constantly changing, if they're not, you're not doing it right.
Word of advice from me today kids; never do anything you don't want to do, never let anyone force you, don't just grin and bear it, don't feel guilty for making a choice and sticking to it, only do what you are comfortable with doing
mix cornflour and water