Listen, loving you it's hard, it breaks me day after day and still i can't let go of you, for you add a meaning that was once lost in my life. I would say i will love you even if loving you takes me to hell but i look at you daily and see more reasons to be in heaven.. You left scars in my heart that no amount of joy can take them away. are those scars that i can’t live without, they're still sore, by every word that doesn't submit under the wings of my love. Those scars open again and bleed. i have never thought to myself that there'll be any person who can dig up those buried scars under those smiles i put on my face. Behind every smile there are tears i withhold just to keep my mine joyful but the pain i am suffering its heavy to carry out in spoken words.
My wounds are of the heart, their pain it's awakens when my affection is overlooked, when words i chose to speak fell by the wayside, it is not that my heart beats less for you it's just that every faulty deed and salty word ye pour onto my open wounds causes me to ill talk you, sometimes even worse i find myself treating you less than important. The vehement war in my heart rages because of my vision of how this love should be, yet it always drifts and shifts two steps away from its original spot by every tempest we encounter. it is not because of love that i bleed eternally it is a matter of treasuring my heart, keeping it away from all sorts of pain which could ever break me.
It's easier to love a stranger for there are no expectation but one that knows you breaks you like no other for from them you expected all the goodness. I lost a friend in you when/ after I found a lover in you...this are matters i preached before hand but they were left behind on the 6th of Sept. I just pray these scars do not cause what i have no intention to do... After a longest time i have not visited myself but I happened to be reminded the pain i once thought i lost...The pain i lost can only be visited when new pain enters my heart. Is God punishing me, if He is therefore I repent oh hear me Lord.
There are pains that get triggered and since they are in the heart only those who have keys into my heart can unleash them, and you got them. I gave up keys onto my heart in thy hands hoping you will set me free from these skeletons that haunt me down..They are keeping me awake in wet eyes, in heavy heart they torture my soul. I bleed internally heart like an open tap, I shout help to deaf ears, it's a soul that dances onto my hearts melody that can reach out to me. Help, i say these things with tears in my eyes. Help me. I know how to ease these loud voices in my inner being, it is by following my lead on how to parade upon them yet everyone wants to walk on them how they know to.
Break me more maybe i deserve it, it’s a heart that won't give up on me that will set me free... A heart that will die to self and sacrifices its life to keep mine alive, it is that heart that will redeem mine from pain, that's a heart that will lead me to salvation. As long as her heart is alive it can never resurrect mine. Two wills, two minds, two desires yet one love impossible. Two dreams, two separated goals, two leaders yet one destiny, impossible. No greater love than to surrender yourself to pick, lift another up. 1 John 3:16..Read...#Latus
