#rogueonme

[ksjanes]

“…and with my thoughts this scattered, I gather them like flowers. Hold them, pressed up to my chest like a child, going on senses rather than reason.”

— r.iver - ‘Facts from Feelings’

rogueonme, thanks for these words. :)

[king-latus]

Listen, loving you it's hard, it breaks me day after day and still i can't let go of you, for you add a meaning that was once lost in my life. I would say i will love you even if loving you takes me to hell but i look at you daily and see more reasons to be in heaven.. You left scars in my heart that no amount of joy can take them away. are those scars that i can’t live without, they're still sore, by every word that doesn't submit under the wings of my love. Those scars open again and bleed. i have never thought to myself that there'll be any person who can dig up those buried scars under those smiles i put on my face. Behind every smile there are tears i withhold just to keep my mine joyful but the pain i am suffering its heavy to carry out in spoken words.

My wounds are of the heart, their pain it's awakens when my affection is overlooked, when words i chose to speak fell by the wayside, it is not that my heart beats less for you it's just that every faulty deed and salty word ye pour onto my open wounds causes me to ill talk you, sometimes even worse i find myself treating you less than important. The vehement war in my heart rages because of my vision of how this love should be, yet it always drifts and shifts two steps away from its original spot by every tempest we encounter. it is not because of love that i bleed eternally it is a matter of treasuring my heart, keeping it away from all sorts of pain  which could ever break me.

It's easier to love a stranger for there are no expectation but one that knows you breaks you like no other for from them you expected all the goodness. I lost a friend in you when/ after I found a lover in you...this are matters i preached before hand but they were left behind on the 6th of Sept. I just pray these scars do not cause what i have no intention to do... After a longest time i have not visited myself but I happened to be reminded the pain i once thought i lost...The pain i lost can only be visited when new pain enters my heart. Is God punishing me, if He is therefore I repent oh hear me Lord.

There are pains that get triggered and since they are in the heart only those who have keys into my heart can unleash them, and you got them. I gave up keys onto my heart in thy hands hoping you will set me free from these skeletons that haunt me down..They are keeping me awake in wet eyes, in heavy heart they torture my soul. I bleed internally heart like an open tap, I shout help to deaf ears, it's a soul that dances onto my hearts melody that can reach out to me. Help, i say these things with tears in my eyes. Help me. I know how to ease these loud voices in my inner being, it is by following my lead on how to parade upon them yet everyone wants to walk on them how they know to.

Break me more maybe i deserve it, it’s a heart that won't give up on me that will set me free... A heart that will die to self and sacrifices its life to keep mine alive, it is that heart that will redeem mine from pain, that's a heart that will lead me to salvation. As long as her heart is alive it can never resurrect mine. Two wills, two minds, two desires yet one love impossible. Two dreams, two separated goals, two leaders yet one destiny, impossible. No greater love than to surrender yourself to pick, lift another up. 1 John 3:16..Read...#Latus

[rogueonme]

Strange, isn't it? How I loved you and you hated it. Couldn't get away from it fast enough. The one that got away, sounds more or less like I was a prison to you, anyway.

r.iver

[rogueonme]

Go inward and make it the safest place you know.

r.iver

[rogueonme]

Everything you do not say will eat you alive, but slowly, eat away at your insides like a disease; the sickness of the soul.

r.iver - ‘We are saying everything now’

[rogueonme]

Maybe the vagabond has the empty belly, still full of life, going nowhere, going everywhere. Home is a mirage, a secret, and the vagabond has mastered the art of feasting on it.

r.iver

[rogueonme]

I am babysitting a hand full of demons. I throw them crayons, they write, write, write. Eyes heavy, they never sleep, and it is fucking exhausting me.

r.iver

[rogueonme]

That Silent Drum

When you leave someone on the beating of a silent drum there is something inside of you you are afraid to face yet leaving the other will not solve it you will either reflect it onto someone new or one day have to face it still When you are the one being left on the beating of a silent drum they take your mouth with them and you need to find it back without any of their help and so you will have to face what was in you or you will project that broken energy onto someone new I have been both of these people leaving, being left always that silent drum and no longer I now speak up when they are still present and when they leave, like a ghost I do not need to summon them for my own closure All my cycles have been broken and they did not break me I am free