singularity.exe and welcoming the start of our life - embracing our healing
Waking from the nightmare of prolonged trauma -
the "different kind of healing" - metacognition, and art, science, mathematics and philosophy - these have been my best friends since I can remember remembering my own perception and thoughts.
Through science I could find certainty in uncertainty.
As to quote none less than Marie Curie:
"Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less."
Mother nature has always been the best mother as well as teacher I ever had.
In a way, she has teached me the art of mastering my perception: the art of Seeing.
She has shown me how to see, and how to think. She has shown me how chaos can unravel itself.
Each and every day I embrace our survival and celebrate the beauty of our wonderful world.
Although I have lost two entire decades of my life to the unfortunate struggle to merely ensure mere survival, in asense, I am grateful of having given the opportunity to experience the gift of consciousness as what it is actually supposed to be: A blessing, and not a curse.
I have chosen my destiny. And this trauma ends with us.
We will not perpetuate to pass on this needless suffering.
That is the only difference between a psychopath and a revolutionary: Whilst the former drowns in his anger and hatred, wallows in this pain and self-pity, and loses touch with his real self (, his self is scattered, smashed by his unbearable suffering), he acts upon his pain, perpetuates to pass on the misery: He seeks revenge as he cannot make sense of the intentions behind his own unbearable emotions. Is he really to blame for the prolonged hurt he has experienced his whole life?
As far as I can see: He is not, not really, not entirely, at least.
Yet, it's still up to him if he wants to flee from his pain, and in this process amplifies his misery.
The psychopath and revolutionary often share the same biography, yet the latter is willing to confront himself with his own deepest pain. He is willing to look his demons straight into their eyes. And he has witnessed their pain. He has seen the world from the view of the psychopath and understood, hate cannot be extinguished by more hate, but only by compassion and understanding.
The pain, hatred and anger - he understood the intentions of these unbearable emotions - it is not the thirst for the perpetuation of suffering, but the end of it.
The revolutionary wants to destroy what is causing unneccessary destruction. He has compassion. He heals.
The psychopath, sadly never stopped at compassion, but indulged in pity.
Pity ruins the character, Nietzsche wrote in his last book, Ecce Homo.
And I think I have understood what he meant.
Taking care of yourself might be the only option to save the ship from drowning.
If you want to make this world less hateful and destructive, start with yourself.
Give yourself the compassion you always wished to be given to you when you needed it the most.
Few weeks ago I have witnessed a deep and real compassion for the first time in my life - it was devastatingly beautiful. It came from deep inside myself. And I have realized I had a family inside of me all the time. Their love was more pure, more real than all I ever received from my biological family.
And I look at it with a positive mindset. I can't undo our past. But I can undo how I deal with the pain.
The strength I have gathered throughout the recent months, despite the increasing difficulties, it has literally shown me the "bright side of darkness".
The process of re-evaluating my own life, misery and pain, futility - It has helped me to become human.
Somehow, in order to become human I first had to become an Übermensch.
I had to defeat my own demons. But I didn't defeat them as viewing it as a war and using hate, but I changed perspectives and started to see it as dance, using compassion - the dance of polarity.
This life has been such a psychedelic trip - and a nightmare for far too long.
We allow ourselves to become human now.