#afraidofsurviving

[sinnhelmingrmoved]

afraidofsurviving replied to your post: every time i see another vertigo roleplayer my...

!!! WHO’S THE VERTIGO RPER???

WE GOT AN ANTON ARCANE AND A SWAMP THING!!! 8Dc

@rotgrasp & @svvampthing :’)

[tachiisms]

☣ Would they kill someone close to them if they had to? ╳ How would they react to seeing a loved one become possessed? ♒ If they could choose how to die, how would they want to go?

@afraidofsurviving | headcanon meme ( accepting )

☣  Would they kill someone close to them if they had to?

.......define “had to.” 

On the one hand, no, she wouldn’t. But on the other hand, while she was undercover as Zora, she was well aware that that could be a possibility. Krayn, after all, had a well-known kill order out on any his organization came across. However, I think that undercover, and in a circumstance where there was no way of saving the person’s life, she would, to ensure it was as quick as possible. ( Considering that Krayn’s weapon of choice is a vibro-axe and he was known for... y’know, having people beaten to death by his Wookie associate or brutally killing people himself. ) Whereas if Siri/Zora was the one doing it, she could ensure a stab directly to the heart or a blaster bolt to the head or heart or otherwise an instant, painless-as-possible death. Again, this really would only be in a circumstance where it would either be her killing them, someone else killing them, or her attempting to save them and both of them for sure being killed, and her mission failing ( which would also mean that Krayn’s slave trade would continue and countless beings would continue to be enslaved, suffer, and die at his hands ). 

In any situation other than being undercover, I do not think she’d kill someone close to her. 

( side note that Bri -- @withoutpeer / @soulscatter -- and I totally once had an AU where Siri did kill Obi-Wan undercover... Qui-Gon hadn’t died in that AU though and both he and Siri left the Order because of it. hey Bri remember that? we’re terrible people. )

╳ How would they react to seeing a loved one become possessed? 

Hmmmmmm interesting question. She’d be concerned, for sure, and her reaction would probably be “how do we fix this” because she’s a very proactive person.

♒  If they could choose how to die, how would they want to go?

You know it’s funny that you ask, because really, Siri did get to choose how she died. ( I have a whole post about that here. ) Essentially, if she could choose how to die, she’d go out in a fight. She’s a fighter, she’s meant to go down fighting. She’d choose to die protecting people, she’d choose to die putting the lives of other above her own life. She’d choose to go out with a fight, and win, even with her last breath. 

And she did.

[demandpeace-blog1]

✿ ♆

@afraidofsurviving || meme || accepting

✿ for a happy memory

For her eighteenth birthday, Caede and Bo-Katan sent Satine a really sweet holo. It was her last birthday that her and Bo still got along and the happiest she had on Coruscant.

♆ for something my muse hates

Besides Coruscant, war, corruption, and violence? Wow, that really narrows it down. Anyways--Satine lowkey hates flat shoes. She vastly prefers heels, even if it’s just one inch.

[lightlorn]

KOKORO: 2. Their mother? How do they think of her? What do they hate? Love? What influence - literal or imagined - did the mother have? 29. What is your character’s weaknesses? Hubris? Pride? Controlling? 30. Are they holding on to something in the past? Can he or she forgive? 48. How are your character’s gestures? Vigorous? Weak? Controlled? Compulsive? Energetic? Sluggish?

solid. ll accepting.

2. Their mother? How do they think of her? What do they hate? Love? What influence - literal or imagined - did the mother have?

Kokoro has a very neutral view of her mother’s memory. Steria passed when she was still quite young, so what memories she does have are hazy – the color of her hair, the sound of her voice, the clearest ideas of her mother are endless bedtime stories and a garden that was the envy of anyone. She remembers days spent on the water chasing little fish as her mother hovered nearby, but other than that her mother is a bit of a tabula rasa. All she is comes down to light – pure, unblemished, the kind it would take 30 years to find the equal of.

These all paint a pretty picture of Steria, but Kokoro also carries a measure of… almost disdain for her mother. More accurately, she is disdainful of how her mother turned out, of her choices. She saw Steria, brilliant and kind, languishing in their culture. A non-wielder who could only travel by the will of others, kept a pretty wife at home and never reaching her full potential. Her mother was all light, but she watched the stars so intently, had a story for every world. In a lot of ways, Kokoro fears becoming so complacent, burying parts of yourself for domestic bliss, toeing the line because you have no other option. She fears being the kind of woman so afraid of her own loneliness that she throw herself into other arms than live her dreams alone.

In time, however, she grows to see her mother for the inner strength she carried. She made the best with what she had, and thrived in a society that never truly accepted her. If contentment was all she could hope for, then Steria mastered it. She was the lady of her land despite humble lineage, and that is something Kokoro can admire. She also appreciates the care her mother showed her, how family friends can speak so readily of Steria’s love for her. She holds on to the stories and parables her mother wove for her, the ones that helped mold her into the woman she is today.

So, out of respect for the dead, Kokoro walks between the poles. She knows her mother loved her, but also knows her mother was the kind of woman she would pity, someone she would never emulate. Part of her feels shame for that, another part knows her mother’s life was never meant for her own. In more logical moments, she notes it is not her mother that should bear the brunt of her dislike for how she lived, but the society that raised the both of them. Beyond these things, her mother is merely a ghost to her.

29. What is your character’s weaknesses? Hubris? Pride? Controlling?

Kokoro cannot stand to be alone. She gets this from both sides of her family tree, especially in her secondary verse. She craves interaction, she needs it, and more often than not she is either denied or willfully turns her back on it. Acting up as a teen was part of her trying desperately to get attention, trying to be recognized in a world to which she never truly belongs.

She is at her worst during the years she was bouncing between worlds, not taking care of herself properly, untethered from anything but the ghosts she was chasing. It says something that her turnaround came upon arriving in Traverse Town and finding a sense of community. Loneliness ruins her in totality, and brings out a lot of her worst traits.

But of course, like her father before her, she would never own up to such a flaw or admit what it drives her to, against all sense, against all self-preservation.

30. Are they holding on to something in the past? Can he or she forgive?

Kokoro’s entire arc is built on the past as of the present. She’s chasing characters not seen in over a decade, in some verses characters she never even met. She’s running from her past as the disappointment, trying to make one thing right to prove she can to the people that already wrote her off as nothing, or as a threat. She’s trying so hard to prove others wrong, though her motivation has moved from spite to doing good because it is the right thing to do and she is too old to consciously give others control over her.

In her secondary verse it’s worse because finding the missing means getting to make things right. Apologizing to her father and starting over, making up for how she pushed her friends away, finally showing kindness to the boy she blamed for her own stupid, bitter actions driving others away.

In all of these things, she can forgive insomuch as she can say ‘I made mistakes, and so did you, and if you are willing to work with me to rebuild trust then I will put this behind us.’ She does not forgive without condition, but with understanding and maturity. She’s a Blue Blood, her memory is long and it does not allow forgetfulness.

48. How are your character’s gestures? Vigorous? Weak? Controlled?Compulsive? Energetic? Sluggish?

Firm and swift. Kokoro has a particularly regal bearing, and this shows in how she carries herself, how she moves her hands and holds her posture. She seeks to emulate a certain family friend when monologuing, and so makes swift and decisive maneuvers with her hands, head held high, eyes clapped onto whoever she is addressing. Though it cannot compare to the man she is imitating, it does build on her already skillful oratory abilities.

These quick, unflinching movements also hold in battle, where her handling of her sword is a fine blend of great strength and swift adjustment of her stance and attacks.

[piggables-blog]

Ｙｏｕ     ｃａｎ     ｃａｌｌ     ｍｅ                ＧＲＥＡＴ     ＯＮＥ．  Ｍｏｓｔ     ｐｅｏｐｌｅ     ｄｏ．

[goodofthegalaxy-a]

[ @afraidofsurviving ➳ cont. from x ] 

          As if she could ever forget that her twin was gone…

          That part of her where he’d once filled had been achingly hollow since the moment her lightsaber pierced his heart, a constant reminder of the fact that he was no longer living, no longer there for her to turn to whenever things were too much.

          “Are you—”

          The words got caught in her throat, and she struggled to speak.

          Kriff.

          What was she supposed to say to him? “I’m sorry I didn’t believe you” or “I’m sorry I killed you, I wish I didn’t have to” weren’t things that were typically said, and they didn’t feel right. No matter how true those words might’ve been, on some level, Jaina knew she’d make the same decision if she needed to, and saying those things…well, they wouldn’t do either of them any good.

          “I know that, Jasa.”

          Her heart clenched as she looked at him. His iridescent blue form was the least jarring thing about this entire situation. That look on his face——

          That was pure, one hundred percent Jacen, and it left her breathless.

          Needing to find something to grasp onto, to ground her, she blurted out the first thing she could think of.

          “Do you still tell those awful jokes?”

 Of all the things she could start with, the question that escaped her was... perfect. It was her. It was them. He was forced to remember every horrible thing he did ( and he deserved it ) day in and day out but her question reminded him of their childhood. When they were happy. When they were both alive and causing harmless trouble.

 “Naturally, Jaina. And I think you mean amazing.” The chuckle that left him caused his pale blue form to shimmer. “Jokes that amazing last even after death.”

 Jacen grew somber mere heartbeats ( something he didn’t have anymore ) after that, shifting beside her and staring down to his still-living twin.

 “I’m sorry.”

[calledbythelight]

afraidofsurviving

  At the Darth Mall. MmmmMMMMmmm, funny joke!

I cannot believe I just read this with my own two eyes… xD

CAIN IS A LIVING MEME 2K18 please send help

[jacensclo-blog]

“Stop moving!”

“Stop pulling!” Jacen argued back, wincing. “This doesn’t exactly feel good, Jaina.”