fun fact: kingsman has numerous bottles of good, hard liquor around their various headquarter buildings. that’s not much of a surprise. but what was a surprise was what merlin overheard one day between seraphim and succubus, when they were still working on solving the mystery behind the violent deaths on the moor.
inspired by a conversation i had with @agent-absinthe. (i know i have a million other things i should be working on, i am so sorry.)
if you were to ask them later, neither one of them could tell you what got them started talking about disney movies (although if you were to ask “why were you drinking?” they would both answer “harry/bors” in unison--one of them was joking, the other one was... not).
seraphim stared into her glass, enjoying the scotch’s burn as it slid down her through, into her chest. it was like a gentle heat, settling down behind her heart. “would it surprise you at all if I said i’d let milo thatch top me?”
“first of all, no, second of all--i mean, leo’s willing to do it in real life, he’s made that pretty apparent...”
seraphim snorted, and took another sip. “no. no, no, no, no, okay, bors is--god, i have never met a man who doesn’t even halfway hide how big his ego is! he’s constantly talking out of his ass, and when you call him out on the fact that he’s doing it, he gets angry! he’s not my type.”
seraphim got to her feet then, not noticing as succubus’s eyes slid to the doorway then quickly darted back to seraphim’s face, flushed with drink. she drug a hand through her hair out of her face.
“and how, morgan, would you describe your type?”
it didn’t hit the agent that this was an odd question then. her best friend knew. but that didn’t stop the answer from coming out of her mouth with a level of sass that only appeared when she was drinking: “well, rae, i like ‘em real tall and smarter than me!”
succubus sputtered a laugh into her drink and watched as seraphim turned and almost went face-first into merlin’s chest. she caught a good whiff of his cologne and it was like it went straight to her brain. she awkwardly took a step back, all the redness in her face doubling. merlin’s expression, for his part--was perfectly unreadable.
“here. found these while diggin’ through a dusty box in our archives. turns out somethin’ like this has happened one other time, ‘round ninety-seven years ago. thought you’d find the information... useful.” his tone was perfectly professional. he pivoted and left the room without saying another word.
seraphim was left standing dumbly with a thick folder in her hands. her grip on it tightened, taking comfort in the weight.