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LAST
Thanks for the ask!
Last two sentences I wrote:
Daniel passed on the treaty papers he’d brought home, and was surprisingly succinct in describing the cultural stuff that happened, before and after the wedding snafu.
SG-1 was free to leave the base within the hour.
🌻
Four or five years ago, we got rid of the ghastly beige frilly decorative monstrosities that the previous owners of our house had put on the loungeroom windows, and replaced them with nice, modern cellular blinds. There were a bunch of holes left behind where various screws and such had affixed the monstrosities’ frames to the wall, which D duly filled in and then left. This in no way improved the effect provided by the horrible dirty light mustard coloured paint on the walls.
I have issues with my neck which means I can’t paint walls. D kept protesting that he would paint them every time I suggested employing someone to do it. And then he did not paint them. He even took time off work to paint the walls when I was away for a week in 2018... and didn’t paint them.
Finally, a friend was between jobs recently and offered to paint the walls. D objected to the haste with which I agreed to this, but my friend started, and kept going, and put the final coat of paint on the final wall yesterday - and D agrees that they look great! Yay!
Next, the hallway...
ask game
It’s @agirlnamedkeith‘s birthday today! And since I could not get my shit together enough to write anything for her, I thought that--at the risk of making her feel weird--I would talk a little bit about her writing instead.
“I’ll talk about three fics I love of hers,” I thought, and then went to her AO3 profile and realized it would be impossible to narrow it down to three. So. Five fics of Hannah’s that I love, in no particular order, and obviously not a remotely comprehensive list, also I am skipping We Make the Rules because everyone knows it’s amazing but let me be clear that it is fucking amazing and I think about it like once a week, and anyway:
with a hint of sin (Jaime/Addam/Brienne, rated E, 5851 words) - LOVE ME SOME J/A/B, Y’ALL. Back when I first discovered Hannah’s fic and I was looking through her back catalog, I saw her J/A/B fics and went “...huh” and then I read them and went “yessssssss.” This canonverse-ish fic involves several extremely sexy scenarios and also the warmth and connection between the three of them is so palpable and swoony. Addam’s description of Brienne that’s used in the summary makes me a little teary (and, okay, also thirsty) every time, and I love how Brienne is inexperienced in this but still enthusiastic, and the hot and affectionate history between Jaime and Addam, and just generally the thought of the three of them having this little sexy sweet cocoon in the middle of everything that’s raging around them. I just adore it.
i’ll unfold before you (WIP, J/B, rated E, 9258 words so far) - PAINTER!JAIME. QUASI-REGENCY PAINTER JAIME. This one holds a special place in my heart because, well, painter!Jaime and a fiercely stubborn pugilistic Brienne, but also because I answered Hannah’s open request for a backup beta one night in an attempt to aggressively make her my friend and it totally worked. MUAHAHA. Anyway, the premise of this is genius--Brienne’s unwanted betrothed Connington has commissioned starving-artist-because-of-reasons Jaime Hill to paint a portrait of her, and she asks Jaime to make her look as unappealing as possible in it, and that works out pretty much as well as you would expect. Jaime and Brienne truly seeing each other is something I never get tired of, and the way Jaime, with his artistic eye, sees Brienne in this fic is just devastating on every level. Brienne also finds it very inspirational, and the results are extremely hot and extremely romantic. This is a WIP but I also have it on good authority that we have divan shenanigans and possibly some under-Brienne’s-dress action in our future, so best to get caught up now and then attempt to prepare yourself for what’s coming next (j/k you can’t).
because i know no other way (J/B, rated T, 1454 words) - A short and sweet high school AU Valentine’s Day fic where Jaime works adorably hard to express his affection for his girlfriend Brienne in the ways he thinks she’d most like it expressed. Characters making the effort to speak each other’s love languages is one of my bulletproof kinks, and this is just so fucking delightful and hilarious and also includes Jaime informing her that he’s “almost problematically hard ninety percent of the time,” which is an amazing line. SO ADORABLE, just a quick little shot of endorphins, like a really good piece of chocolate.
my heart is holding on to you (WIP, J/B, rated T, 21830 words so far) - This is also a WIP and I love it so much. A post-canon setup where Brienne and Jaime have gone their separate ways and then he comes back to visit her on Tarth after she’s been married, had children, and been widowed. I absolutely adore the delicate way this is handled, the way we get both the echo of their former intimacy and the awareness that they’re not the same people now that they were then. They have to reckon with their old hurts and mistakes and get to know each other again, and re-learn how to be friends (and, of course, hopefully lovers too) while still discovering new things about themselves, too. It’s all very achy and sweet and deft and romantic as fuck, and their sloooooow (perfectly, thoughtfully slow) progression back toward each other is just a;lskdjfa;lsgjka;slgja PUT YOUR MOUTHS ON EACH OTHER’S MOUTHS BUT ALSO I’M LOVING THIS JOURNEY FOR BOTH OF YOU. I also really love how they’re both such individuals in this; they’re perfectly capable of going on without each other, they’re just slowly realizing that they really don’t want to, which is another one of my bulletproof kinks, and re-reading this to write up this rec has me all in my feelings again. JUST READ IT IT’S VERY GOOD.
a helping hand (J/B, rated M, 2011 words) and make me wanna drop (J/A/B, rated E, 1804 words) - BROJOBS. I LOVE THIS ‘VERSE SO MUCH. Jaime is such a hot bisexual disaster in this, and I love a Brienne who knows what she likes even if she’s still a little uncertain about doing it with a friend, and the juxtaposition of casual(-yet-also-not) and scorching hot here is just... WHEW. The first fic involves Jaime and Brienne watching each other jerk off (ALWAYS GOOD) and then the second one involves Jaime and Addam competing to see which of them is better at eating Brienne out (ALSO EXTREMELY GOOD). It also includes this immortal observation: If Jaime is a human golden retriever (over the top, enthusiastic and eager to please), then Addam is a cat (cool, calm, and exceedingly disinterested in anyone’s approval). I CANNOT GET OVER HOW MUCH I LOVE THAT DESCRIPTION, and it’s in my mind every time I read a J/A/B fic. Sooooooo fucking good. There’s also a J/A/B tender spitroast that may or may not be in the same ‘verse, I don’t know for sure, but either way it’s lovely and hot as fuck and you should read it.
So those are my Hannah’s Birthday Recs! As I said, not remotely a comprehensive list; what a gift to have her talents in this fandom. I could also say things about how she is hilarious and charming and kind and smart and sharp and excellently bitey in the service of good causes, but I don’t want to embarrass her, so I will just say: happy birthday, Hannah! I love you, you asshole, and I’m so glad we’re friends, and I sincerely hope this year treats you infinitely better than the last one did. (And if at any point you want a fic from me, consider this an IOU.) ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
“You asked me for a favor.” He places his elbows on the table, leaning over them, getting even closer to her. “And that favor was for me to sleep with you.” Brienne might have a heart attack or vomit, there’s really no way to predict at this point, both seem imminently likely. She miserably answers, “Yes.” Jaime’s eyebrows furrow again, his mouth firming in concentration. It’s possible the most painful part of this entire conversation is how well she knows his face, his expressions, how easily she can read him now. “In that case, I have questions.” We Make The Rules by @agirlnamedkeith
@agirlnamedkeith and I were discussing the innate hotness of Jaime’s “Kneel, Lady Brienne” and she said this about the scene and I have honestly randomly thought about it and laughed to myself almost hourly since she said it the other day so I have to share:
Tormund tried to get into a dick measuring contest, and Jaime unfurled an elephant trunk on the table.
8 me
8. Favorite character you wrote this year
Your mum.
But also... Brienne is the character I think I’ve spent the most time exploring this year, when I look back at my WIPs and finished fics. So her. It is fun for me to play with this passionate inner world she has while presenting this controlled persona to the world. And I like making it crack so you can see the insides on the outsides.
Also it is my goal to write a Brienne who doesn’t spend every minute of every day constantly comparing herself to other women, or thinking about what she looks like, or defining her own worth by her face, because that is not interesting to me. I need that to not be the most important thing about her.
GLEE
I HATE YOUUU
Also, keep in mind, I only watched the first half of the first season of this show, but I watched it MULTIPLE TIMES and absolutely loved it. And then I just...didn’t finish it lmao.
Favorite character: God. It was probably Rachel? Listen all of my opinions about this show are definitely Not Cool in light of what pieces of shit the actors turned out to be, but college Jules knew none of this. Funniest character: I actually found Finn really funny, which is why I hated him as the main character lmao. I STILL fondly remember the moment when he’s on the phone with Kurt, at Quinn’s parents’ house, I think? And he’s in the bathroom while taking the call. And he’s like “I have to go. They’ll think I’m pooping!” For some reason the panic in his voice was just, god. So funny. I also loved Santana. Best-looking character: I had such crushes on Quinn + Santana 3 favorite ships: Rachel/Puck, Rachel/Puck/Quinn, and Quinn/Santana Least favorite character: I feel like it was Kurt? Least favorite ship: Rachel/Finn really occupied that space for me where I was so aggressively uninterested, and it was directly opposed to what the show wanted me to give a shit about. I feel like the realization that the Puck/Rachel stuff was only going to be a single episode was the reason I decided to stop watching. I don’t remember WHY I was so uninterested, and if I watched it again now (lol yeah right) I doubt I’d be so vehemently against it, but college Jules was a different lady. Reason why I watch it: Lol see above. I would not watch this show today Why I started watching it: I want to say that it was my roommate who started watching it? And it was her TV, so I just joined her. But both my sisters were ALSO pretty into it, so it might have been on their recommendation? It was definitely something that I wouldn’t have watched on my own!
Give me a TV Series and I’ll tell you these things about my Opinions
20!
20: what something that immediately makes you exit out of a fic?
Oh this is such a good question. See, I am very opinionated and even picky in some ways, but most of the time, I will skim through the fic/chapter even if I know it’s really not for me or I even hate it, just to see if there’s anything that can sliiightly redeem it or so that I can have a fully formed, factual reason why it just is Bad/Doesn’t Work for me/What the fuck you should never do. Or I’m like collecting evidence of dumbassery to salt about with my friends in private, without name dropping (usually).
This is the only way I embody the ‘watching train crash in morbid fascination’ energy because watching actual disasters with humans suffering make me want to throw up and I’ve never had the want for that.
Eventually, though, there’s something that just goes to make me go ‘enough of this’ and click out. Quickest way to do so is what I call fics that the ‘horniness got the best of’. There’s very specific way/tone some smut fics are written that show very clearly that the characters are just faceclaims in writer’s personal fantasy, a flavor detail that doesn’t actually matter. They can be found in every fandom and can be easily interchanged between, because they always sound the same. Like, one of them in Braime fandom had her shorter than Jaime, with narrow waist and some kind of term I scrubbed from my brain to describe her huge honkadonkers. I did skim to end of that one if only for the incredulous amazement they weren’t even trying at all, but I’ve noped out of things that are multichapters that started good and then began dipping into this and suddenly they’re having sex every chapter and don’t sound like them at all anymore, also what’s emotional payoff for everything else in the story? Writer doesn’t know her.
I also, embarrassingly, will admit I kudo halfway through and leave some fics that feel like they’re written by very young/inexperienced writers that want to take on a topic/theme but it just does so in a way that’s same as hundred other ones and botcher the energy of the character, making them feel like the 100 exact rp stories I had when I was 13. (So, less horny version of what I described above - I have scenario and I WILL shoehorn these characters into it, lines and all, regardless of who they are and what feels true to them, or so help me.) I will probably kudo, because I support them and maybe even leave an encouraging comment, but I am most likely not to read in detail/just diagonal read from a half on when I realize it’s happening.
... Saying this makes me feel like shit person, though.
Send me fic reading related question?<3
