Years ago I spent time with y'all as a writer of fanfics here
https://m.fanfiction.net/u/3022981/
I wrote "Somewhere a Clock is Ticking" and some others in the glee fandom as well as some Misty and Cordelia stories from AHS.
back when I had no idea what ao3 was and I started to wonder what my place as a male identified person could be as a writer of these young women. I love the characters I wrote because I love strong women. My childhood hero and obsessive collection is still Xena: warrior princess. Anyway -
If y'all want, I'm willing to pass over access to my old account and stories somehow to give them back to the community. I love them so much and maybe some talented younger writer than myself (31 here) can even change or fix the faults in my stories!
As a queer trans man, I don't feel it's my place as a man to have possession of these tales. They were my treasured love stories for my own lonely heart, and as a lifelong writer I used them as a place to grow my writing and explore prose. I'm an illustrator and poet and freelance author now (and an overnight laborer to pay the bills) and these stories are where that career started for me. Yet I also identify as male and am almost six years on testosterone (no top surgery, too expensive). I'm not a queer woman, though I am a queer person. These young queer women were my heroes even after transition. Rachel Berry and her unfailing focus, Quinn Fabray and her secret desire for emotional vulnerability, Santana Lopez (rip naya) and her determination. Later in my fanfic career I wrote a fic in which Cordelia makes a pact to bring Misty back and when AHS made that canon, I felt so happy to see what I had wished would happen come true. Misty is who I wish I could emulate, and Cordelia is who I wish I had in my life. Writing their stories was like being immersed in those two fluid emotional desires.
I have easily multiple hundreds of thousands of words published on the account - most fics ranged from 30k to 150k words.
I just feel these stories about queer young women should belong to queer young women now.
+ ask here
send me a message and we'll work something out. I need to recover the password to my account and see what works I had in progress on my actual computer.
The list of people I must thank is so long at this point that I dedicate this long ass chapter to anyone who I've talked to in the past few weeks regarding this fic. If it was a long conversation or a short exchange, thank you.
I appreciate every kind word and every suggestion from all of you. You are the reason I keep this going.
Thank you.
It is incredible how things can change.
If someone had told you when you arrived that you would spend most of your early mornings waking up in Wilhemina Venable’s arms, you would have thought they were crazy.
If that same person told you that she would reach for you and pull you back towards her whenever you tried to get up, peppering your neck with kisses as you both laughed, you would have known they were mad.
Yet here you are, catching your breath and turning to face her, allowing you both a few more minutes of affection before you part. The look of tenderness in her eyes steals your breath away once again.
She pulls you flush against her with an arm around your waist. You reach up to caress her cheek and the two of you simply smile at each other. Your heart clenches deliciously in your chest; how fortunate you are to see her like this.
Her hair is down, spread out in a copper wave across the pillows. She is wearing the simple shift you first saw her in when you returned her book all those months ago. The thing you cherish most, however, is the light in her eyes that only seems to come out for you. Even when you cannot be near one another, whether it be a meeting or dinner or some other function, she will still meet your eyes at least once. In them you will see, for just a moment that luminous flash she reserves for you alone. And every time, it warms your heart. You always manage to hide your smile and go about your business, but those shared, secret moments are precious to you.
A covetous affection spreads from your core to the tips of your fingers. You thread your fingers through her hair and bring your lips together. She tangles her legs with yours; she returns your kiss as her free hand slips under your shirt. It comes to rest in the small of your back, her fingers curl against your skin. You pull away and hum appreciatively as she lightly runs her nails across your back. You scoot down so you can move closer to her, dipping your head to nuzzle into her neck. You never pegged her as a cuddler before, but you had learned that she craved moments like this. You were always willing to indulge her. She rests her chin on your shoulder and tightens her grip around you.
She is the first to speak this morning.
“There is another group coming today. Four, I believe. I do certainly hope there are no...incidents this time.”
You snort against her neck. Within the last group of survivors was a woman who had politely inquired if Venable was a vampire. Her case was something to the tune of her name being Mina, a comment about her hair and the lack of mirrors in the compound.
Venable had not been amused at the time, and you were sure that only you were able to get away with teasing her about it. Possibly Meade as, in a moment of shared camaraderie, you exchanged a quick look. You had both stifled a laugh at the expression on Venable’s face.
You chuckle and press your teeth lightly against her neck. She shivers.
“Are you sure? You don’t vant to suck my blood? Oh Mina!”
You feel her sigh in faux exasperation, as she disentangles your limbs to stand. She strikes you lightly in the chest, and you feign great injury.
“Oh, your vampire strength, it is too much for a mere mortal such as I! My vision, fading...!” You clutch your chest dramatically.
“Must you?”
She is looking down at your theatrical display from beside the bed. She is doing an impressive job of keeping her face straight but you see the corner of her lip twitch upward. You sit up quickly and grin. Her poker face breaks and she laughs.
“Oh, darling, you know I must.”
She laughs at this, leaning down to kiss you once more. She grazes your jaw with her knuckles.
“I have a meeting with Ms. Meade soon. Will I see you later?”
You nod and kiss her palm.
“Of course, love. A horde of vampires couldn’t keep me away.”
She rolls her eyes and pats your cheek.
“You are quite fortunate that you are so enchantingly adorable.”
You are slipping your shoes on as she is readying to leave. You then rest your chin in your hand and bat your eyes at her.
“Aren’t I, though?”
You both laugh, kiss again as you part, and take your leave in opposite directions down the hallway.
You slip into your own bed and feel something tickling your chest. You peek down into your shirt and draw out the offending item. A snicker passes your lips as you examine your hand in the candlelight.
Laying draped across your palm is a single very long, very red hair.
---
As per usual, upon the arrival of the new group Venable called a meeting. Your attention tend to drift as you watched her. This was nothing new, as you always had paid a fair amount of attention to her before your relationship began. Now, however, your thoughts would stray to how she looked curled up beside you on her couch with her nose in a book. Or how she would absentmindedly braid your hair as your head laid in her lap, while the two of you discussed various subjects at length. How sometimes when she kissed you, she would cling to you almost frantically, as if she feared you were going to slip from her grasp.
As Venable dismissed the meeting, your train of thought was broken. You made your move to leave but before you could take more than a step, you heard someone behind you calling out.
“Hey! Hey, library girl! Wait a minute!”
You turned towards the sound to see the vampire girl waving you down.
Apparently she was a purple now, and you waited patiently as she made her was across the somewhat crowded room.
“Yes?”
You didn’t bother telling her your name, as you didn’t have a chance to speak before she grabbed your hand and a veritable waterfall of words tumbled from her mouth.
“Hey, I know you don’t know me, my name’s Claudia, anyway I wanted to ask if you had a couple books I’ve been looking for, and I was trying to get your attention after dinner last week but I don’t think you saw me. Anyway do you think, if I came to the library sometime that you could help me out?”
You blinked and waited for her to allow you to speak.
“Of course. That’s what I do. You can come by any time.”
She practically beams at you. She is still holding your hand, and you manage to pull away. This only causes her to step closer to you.
“I just really admire that you read to everyone every night, that is really sweet and I don’t think a lot of people would have the patience for that, you know?”
You manage to catch Venable’s gaze as another purple is speaking to her. Your pleading look towards her causes her tip her chin up haughtily. Her expression communicates more than her words could, and you know she is laughing on the inside. She must think this is payback for earlier. Here you thought she would save you when instead she is watching you suffer. You make a mental note to come up with some sort of retaliation later.
“That actually wasn’t my idea. It was Ms. Meade’s, and Ms. Venable’s. So if you want to thank someone, thank them.”
She glances over at shoulder towards Venable and shakes her head. “She is too scary for me, I don’t think I’d ever talk to her on my own. I still think she’s a vampire. Have you ever talked to her alone?”
Your face remains passive, as your hand comes up reflexively to touch the pendant at your neck. Your high collared shirt prevents Claudia from seeing the necklace itself.
“A few times. She definitely isn’t a vampire.”
Claudia flips her hair, leaning towards you. “Convincing people that she isn’t a vampire is exactly what a vampire would do. I’ll see you later, then!”
With that, she is off across the room, grabbing the elbow of another purple as they make their way out of the room. They both look back at you and wave, and you offer an awkward smile in return. Venable has already left and you take your leave as well, heading back to the library.
--
A few hours pass before you hear a familar voice calling out to you.
“Oh, library girl!”
You roll your eyes; apparently that is your name now. You call out from the side of the room where you were organizing a pile of dictionaries someone had found while cleaning a storage area.
“Just a minute, I’ll be right there.”
Standing at your desk is Claudia, with her hand on her hip.
“You said come by anytime, didn’t you?”
“Yes, I suppose I did.” You take a seat and pull your tablet closer to you. “What were you looking for?”
She is twirling a piece of her hair around her finger.
“Do you have um...any of the Harry Potter books?”
“Yes, they are over there,” you gesture to your right with your pen. “Anything else?”
She leans her elbows on your desk, peering down at the various items strewn across your workspace. “So what all do you do here?”
You fold your hands in front of you.
“I do librarian things being that I am the librarian.”
“And what do you do with your free time?”
You’re not sure what she is getting at. She drums her fingers on the counter and the noise begins to grate your nerves.
“Is there anything else you need?”
The way she is looking at you makes you uncomfortable. She opens her mouth to speak, and you hear the a far off door shutting. The telltale sound of a Venable coming down the hallway is a relief to you. Claudia seems to take no notice of the approaching woman.
“You have to at least have a hobby, or a boyfriend here or something?”
If it were not for the desk between you, Claudia would most likely be in your face. You leaned back to put some space between you.
Because she is leaning down, you can see past Claudia to the vestibule beyond. You are lucky to catch Venable’s expression as she enters, because for a moment she appears to lose her composure. Her jaw clenches, and you can see the grip on her cane tighten. She presses her lips together; her brows knit together in consternation.
Then, it is gone. Replaced by her usual apathetic visage, she approaches you.
As Claudia takes notice of Venable, you watch the color drain from her face. She looks as if she has seen a ghost, and you cover your mouth to hide your smile.
Venable notices your reaction and her lip raises just slightly, enough for you to notice but unbeknownst to Claudia. Her tone as she addresses her is unnecessarily friendly. She knows exactly what she is doing.
“Ms. Bell. How are you this afternoon?”
She has managed in one movement to place herself closer to you than Claudia is, and has placed her hand on your desk.
She had done this once before, when the pompous ass had been blatantly flirting with you months ago. You now recognize this possessive display for what it is. She was doing it then and she is doing it now; this is her making her claim to you as well as she can in the position she is in. You simply cannot help the grin that crosses your face.
Claudia is doing her best fish out of water expression. She finally manages to speak; her silence is a marvel given her recent loquaciousness.
“I am--I’m good, Venable. How are you?” She leans against your desk, trying to look casual. You rest your chin on your elbow, and place your free hand on your desk. You note with a spark of pleasure that Venable’s hand slips forward to curl around the edge of the counter. This action puts your hands within inches of one another.
“I would certainly be better if you addressed me as Ms. Venable. I am not on your little league baseball team.”
She takes a step towards Claudia. Claudia almost winces.
She is terrified. You are glad your hand is somewhat covering your mouth. Your eyes pass from one woman to the other and you press your grin to the knuckles of your hand.
“Yes, Ms. Venable.” She folds her hands in front of her. It is becoming increasingly hard to contain your mirth at this entire situation.
“I am feeling, a bit parched however. I do believe I should find myself a drink.” Venable removes her hand from your desk, rubbing her neck in a lazy manner. The look on her face is almost predatory and for a split second, you feel bad for the poor girl. Only for a second, though.
“I’ve got to go. I--, see you guys later.”
Claudia is away and out the door before you finally give in and laugh so hard that tears come to your eyes. Venable looks exceedingly proud of herself for scaring Claudia off.
“You know that poor girl is going to go tell anyone she finds that you actually are a vampire?”
Venable shrugs as she chuckles along with you. “Believe me, I have been called worse.”
“Why didn’t you save me from her earlier? You left me there!”
She picks up a scrap of paper from your desk, motioning for a pen. You place it in her hand as she begins writing something. “It was what you deserved after your little stunt this morning. You can handle yourself well enough. I needed a bit of entertainment.”
She finished her note, folds it and slides it across to you.
“I will see you after dinner. Do be on time.”
“I always am.”
She smiles, and you smile, and your heart beats a little faster. By the way she bites the edge of her lip, you are certain her feelings are similar.
She goes to take her leave, and you open the folded paper in your hand. Written in her impeccable cursive are three words.
-I adore you.-
You call out after her retreating frame with a broad smile across your face.
“Same here!”
You fold the paper in half again and slip it in your pocket.
Your smile remains long after her departure.
--
Your reading at dinner is the usual experience, however you notice Claudia has recovered from her afternoon and is again watching you intently. This does not go unnoticed by Venable, and you often see her shift in irritation when Claudia laughs a little too hard at something, and claps a little too much upon your completion.
She makes a beeline for you at the chime of the clock and before you can manage to avoid her, she is at your side. Her hand curls around your bicep to hold you in place. She leans toward you, and you make no move to reciprocate.
You see from the corner of your eye that Venable has left her seat and is making her way towards you. For a moment you are thankful that she is not planning to leave you here again. Claudia makes no attempt to lower her voice and her question causes you to balk.
“Would you like to come to my room? Maybe we can...” she squeezes your arm lightly. “Get to know each other better?”
You can’t help but laugh at the capriciousness of the question.
“Do you even know my name?”
She is looking up at you through her lashes. “I’m sure it will come up.”
You pull your arm from her grasp, looking over to see why it was taking Venable so long to get to you. To your surprise she is gone. Apparently she left when you weren’t paying attention. You turn back to Claudia.
“You’re sweet, but I’m not interested, okay?”
She drops her hand, nodding. “Well...it was worth a shot, right?”
“I admire your forward attitude, but I’m not looking for anything like that.”
You can tell you’ve taken some wind from her sails, but she pats you on the shoulder. “See you later, library girl.”
You roll your eyes, ducking down the corridor towards Venable’s room when no one is looking.
--
You barely knock on the door before Venable opens it and grabs your hand. She pulls you in and you shut the door behind you.
Before you can ask where she went, she backs you up against the door. She says nothing to you, only covers your mouth passionately with hers as her free hand tangles in your hair. She is kissing you hard, her hand slips from your hair down your body. You groan as she grabs your ass. She bites your lip and swallows the noise from your throat before pulling away just enough to mutter a demand against your lips.
“Lay down on the bed. Now.”
You do as you are told, swallowing against the lump in your throat as she lays next to you. She is half leaning against the pillows and this leaves both of her hands free. She wastes no time in moving so that she is half on top of you, half beside you. She cannot seem to keep her hands off of you; they are in your hair, on your side, sliding up your back. Her mouth is against your neck again and she is running her tongue over the shell of your ear. You grab her hip as she whispers in your ear.
“She wants you; I can see it.”
The first few buttons of your blouse have become undone, and you make a helpless noise in your throat as she moves down to kiss the exposed skin of your chest.
“I don’t--god, V, I don’t want her...” she is trailing her tongue across your clavicle, and your hips buck against hers as she presses her teeth into your skin. You gasp as she alternates between biting the sensitive skin there and soothing it with her tongue.
“She can’t have you,” she is whispering against your skin, one of her hands brushes against your clothed breast. “You are mine.” She trails her fingertips over it enough times that is is not an accident.
“Yes, yours.”
You squirm beneath her and her and this movement causes her leg to slip between yours. Her thigh comes into contact with your core and in spite of you both being fully clothed, you moan in unison. She rears up to look at you, her eyes are black with lust. You can only imagine yours are the same. Her hands stop roaming your body, and come to rest on your stomach.
You stay like that for a moment, a line between you that has yet to be crossed hangs in the balance.
You slowly place your hands on her hips, biting your lip, as you rock against her thigh. The contact sets sets the ember in the pit of your stomach ablaze. You want to shut your eyes, the absolute pleasure you are feeling is like nothing you have ever experienced. Her lips are parted, a flush paints her cheeks a dusky red that is visible even in the low light of the fireplace.
“You like that, don’t you?”
Her voice is low, husky.
You have to wet your lips to answer her.
“Yes, god yes.”
You grind against her again and she moves to give you better leverage. You can hear her breath catch when you grab fistfulls of the fabric of her dress. You arch your back slightly off the bed, gasping at the intensified contact.
You hear her hiss through her teeth, her hands are buried in your hair. She brings your lips together, again and again, as you move against each other.
You can feel a coiling in your belly, an insistent itch blooming from every place your bodies touch.
You meet her eyes.
You’ve never seen her like this; there is a wild, possessive look in her eyes. Under that bright lust is an undercurrent of devotion and love that makes your chest ache.
You are hopelessly in love with her.
She lowers her head to kiss you again, you lean up to meet her halfway.
Before your lips meet, there are three sharp raps at the door.
She pulls away from you and glares daggers at the poor old oak.
“You have got to be fucking kidding me.”
She moves off of you and you press your hands to your face in a desperate attempt to cool the burning of your cheeks.
She is trying to compose herself, and you sit up on the bed. She is grumbling to herself, straightening her top.
She casts an apologetic look in your direction. You shrug, blowing her a kiss.
With your legs pulled up and your back against the wall, you were out of range of anyone on the other side.
Venable pulled the door open just enough to address whoever was on the other side.
“What?”
To no one’s surprise, the voice of Ms. Meade falls upon your ears. There is a teasing lilt to her words.
“I’m going to go ahead and hazard a guess here. You forgot you told me to come, didn’t you?”
Venable stands up straighter, then, indignantly responds.
“I did not forget. Something else came up.”
You hear Meade laugh.
“Oh I bet, ‘something’ else came up. Something about 5‘7“, light brown hair?”
You snort and cover your mouth. Venable casts a glare in your direction.
“You are not funny, Miriam.”
Venable’s use of Meade’s first name causes no different reaction in the older woman. She chuckles and says sarcastically. “Someone in there thinks I’m funny, Wilhemina.”
You actually laugh at this, and wave away the second venomous look aimed in your direction. What is the point in hiding if she already knows you’re here?
“I fail to see how the two of you find such pleasure in driving me mad.”
You can hear the victorious tone in Meade’s voice.
“The two of us? So she is there, and you are on a date! You really should share your schedule with me; I’d hate to keep interrupting...quality time together.”
Venable ignores her comment.
“If that will be all, Ms. Meade?”
Meade laughs, and you cover your mouth again.
“I’ll expect that night time schedule sometime this week, then? Should I collect it from you, or will it be available at the library?”
You can’t help laughing aloud at that one, and you her Meade laughing as well.
“Goodnight, girls, have a lovely evening.” You hear her retreating down the hallway, whistling to herself.
Venable shuts the door and gives you a pointed look.
“The last thing I need is you two ganging up on me. I will not allow it.” Her tone carries enough of a joking tone to it that you know she isn’t serious. You take a seat on the couch and pat the seat next to you.
“Come here, will you?”
She obliges, taking a seat next to you. You clear your throat.
“Now, I don’t want you for one second to think that I’m complaining. But will yoy explain to me what all that was about?’
She has a sheepish look on her face, and she tilts her head back to study the rafters.
“I was jealous.”
You place your hand over hers.
“I could tell, but why did you leave after dinner?”
She turns to face you. Her shoulders shrug, she looks down at your hands entwined in her lap.
“Because I could not bear it if you were to leave with her.”
You feel a pang of sympathy, for her honestly and for her clarity. You scoot closer to her to press your lips to her cheek.
“Why would I leave with anyone but you? I love you; I only have eyes for you.”
She turns to meet your eyes and smiles, you almost miss the shiny mist in her eyes.
“Do you really mean that?”
You can tell she needs this comfort, this affirmation. You press your lips to hers softly, without the urgency of earlier.
“Yes, V. I do.”
You sit back, patting the pillow you put in your lap. She moves to recline into your embrace. You begin to pull the pins from her hair, threading your fingers through her long tresses as you unmake her hair.
Her eyes slide shut, and you feel her relax against you. You begin to hum, some soothing melody from a video game you adored before all this happened.
“That is lovely, keep doing that."
Her voice is soft, sleepy.
You’re not sure which she means, your fingers in her hair or your melody, so you continue both as she drifts off in your arms.
We are earning that mature rating this chapter, kids.
I wrote this in one day with the help of the always wonderful Lex. She did not want to be surprised by anything more than she had to know; as always she got me out of the rut I got myself into with her big beautiful brain and her off the cuff suggestions.
Special thanks to Ashley for being pretty much the greatest of all time.
And immeasurable, innumerable thanks to everyone who has commented on this, or shared it, or sent me a message on tumblr. You are all beautiful, wonderful people. I'm glad our shared obsession with Venable brought us together.
I say it every time, but never want anyone to forget: feed the starving artist and leave a review. It's free and keeps me going. If you enjoy this story and want to chat, I am @bleu-moo on tumblr.
Ms. Meade was an unbelievably difficult person to get alone.
You had questions; questions only she could answer. She was proving irritatingly difficult to pin down. She seemed to always be surrounded by others. If it was not Venable herself, it was a member of Meade’s personal crew that hung around within a few feet of her, almost constantly.
You had been trying for at least two days now. Every time you thought that you had her, someone else would show up. Your frustration must have been becoming evident. With each passing interaction, you would see a bit more awareness appear in the older woman’s eye.
After the most recent failed attempt, you clenched your fists at your sides as she headed down a hallway with her second in command. You called out after her retreating form in frustration.
“Ms. Meade!”
She stopped and turned, slowly, towards you.
“Yes, Ms. Y/N. What is it?”
You took a deep breath. “I need to speak with you, later, alone, at your earliest convenience.”
After a long, scrutinizing moment she nodded in your direction.
“Come to my office in one hour. Acceptable?”
You nodded. She nodded. You went your separate ways.
The sardonic smile you thought you saw flash across her face was certainly all in your head.
----
In one hours time, you reported to Meade’s office as requested.
It was half the size of Venable’s, and there was definitely less empty space. Shelves and filing cabinets lined the walls. Files laid spread out on her desk, in neat and orderly piles.
Of course she was already seated at her desk; there was never a moment where Meade conceded the upper hand and this was no different. She folded her hands on her the tabletop and looked at you expectantly.
“What is so urgent that you must speak to me alone? I see you at least ten times a day; you have a habit of showing up wherever I am.”
You tilt your head at this, trying your hardest not to smile.
The tone of her voice is teasing, and you know she is alluding to running into you when Venable is with her. Meade has taken to stepping ahead of the two of you; you could swear she’s acting as a buffer between you and whoever may be looking. Each time you pass in a hallway or another not so public area, Venable will touch you somehow. It is fleeting and chaste: fingers across your hip, at the small of your back, grazing across the back of your hand. Her expression does not change, and you never exchange words or even glances. Most of the time she doesn’t even break her stride. She simply touches you, and you smile ear to ear. A monumental development from a woman who recoils from anyone that makes an attempt to touch her. But then again, you seem to be the exception to all of her rules.
“Do I? Funny coincidence, that. One might think that you’re following me.”
She snorts, laughs as she leans back in her chair.
“One might be half correct. What can I help you with?”
You think about playing coy, and speaking in allusions and insinuations. You then remember she has all but caught Venable on top of you. There is no point in beating around the bush.
“Do you know when her birthday is?”
You see Meade’s eyebrows rise, and she leans forward.
“I’m assuming, that by her, you’re meaning your girlfriend?”
You can feel your cheeks turning pink but you hold your ground.
“We have never explicitly discussed that exact term but, yes. My girlfriend.”
Referring to Venable out loud as your girlfriend made the resident butterflies in your stomach flutter incessantly around.
Meade has opened a drawer in her desk and appears to be digging around for something. The offhand comment she makes next causes those same butterflies to speed up tenfold.
“You haven’t? That is odd, she refers to you as such. Often.”
You see her glance up at you and you can’t help smiling. You rub your chin in a bid to hide your grin.
“She calls me that or you call me that?”
She shrugs, and does not answer.
She has drawn out a file and laid it on her desk. She places her hand on it before looking to you.
“You do know, this is certainly a breach of some sort of rule of hers? Celebrating birthdays? Unwise use of resources, and so on? However, I do remember her needing wine and chocolate for ‘personal use’, so perhaps someone has changed her mind.”
You shrug, mirroring her. “Perhaps.”
She rolls her eyes and opens the file, scanning the page. You can’t see it from where you are, but it appears to be some sort of dossier. She runs a finger down the paper, then grabs a binder from another drawer, flipping through it with her opposite hand. You feel a small spark of affection for her; she could have easily turned you away as soon as you came in. She seems to approve of your relationship with her boss and friend; you are positive she would tell you if she was not.
“According to this, I would say--,” she picks up a pen and crosses a line of text out, writes something else in the margin, “it would be next week, give or take. Does that help?”
You cross the room to stand in front of her.
“I have a favor to ask, then.”
She tilts her head to the side, laying the pen down. She crosses her arms across her chest. “I won’t make any promises, but what do you need?”
You pull a piece of paper from your pocket, holding it up between your fingers and out to her. She takes it and peruses the list.
“This is...acceptable. I could have them tonight. What am I doing with these items?”
You rock back and forth on your heels, thinking.
“Well, I can’t really be seen carrying that stuff down the hallway. No one would question you. Can you get it into her room?”
She scoffs, as if you shouldn’t have even had the audacity to question her.
“Of course I can. Your little midnight rendezvous are usually after dinner, yes? I’m assuming you’ll be spending the night.”
You feel color rising to your cheeks once again. You tip your chin up, smirking.
“I may be. She usually decides that.”
Meade laughs sharply, shaking her head as she tucks the paper into the pocket of her shirt.
“Of course she does. I wouldn’t expect anything less.”
She makes a dismissive motion with her hand, and you turn to leave. She adds an afterthought as you reach for the door.
“I hope you realize you owe me. Both of you little lovebirds.”
You turn back and see a mischievous glint in her eye.
You can only imagine how you will have to pay her back for this one.
------
That night, Meade is suspiciously late for dinner. She arrives well into your reading, taking a seat next to Venable, who gives the older woman a sidelong glance. You see her lean over to Meade, speaking low, no doubt inquiring as to her whereabouts. Meade meets your eye and nods surreptitiously.
You smile as you turn a page, raising your gaze to see Venable looking straight at you. She looks from you, to Meade, and back to you. Her expression is unreadable. With practiced ease, you focus at a point just over her shoulder to keep your face straight. It works and the rest of the hour proceeds without incident.
With the chime of the clock the assembled group begins to disperse. You tuck your book under your arm and approach Venable, who is still seated. She looks up at you. You notice she curls her fingers around the head of her cane. The movement is almost desirous and for a moment you wonder if she was about to reach out and touch you.
“Yes?”
You lean down, close enough for your words to be heard only by her, but far enough away that this action is normal to a casual observer.
“Meet me in your room in half an hour. Put on something more...,” you lower your eyes from her face to the high collar of her blouse, “...comfortable.”
Her brows raise, and you lick your lips. You see the corner of her mouth twitch as her eyes slip to your lips. No one else would have even noticed; no one else did. The rest of the room is oblivious and you are loving it. You stand straight up and dip your chin towards her.
“Have a lovely evening, Ms. Venable.”
You hear her clear her throat as you walk away from her.
No response follows.
--
As you requested, in one half hour an extremely comfortable looking Venable answered the door.
Her hair is down, spilling over her shoulders. She is wearing yet another long shift, this one is the color of a deep wine. You’d never seen it before, but it suited her.
“Is that new?” You reached out to draw your fingers down the soft fabric at neck, she tilted her head back to allow this movement.
“New to you, yes. Do you like it?”
You hum in response, stepping closer to her. “I do, you look stunning in purple.”
She smiles widely and steps towards you. You meet her halfway and tangle your fingers into her hair as your lips meet. She slips her arm around your waist, and you could swear she sighed contently as you softly, so softly, ran the tips of your fingers down her back. They came to rest on her hips as she pulled away.
“Did you think I would not notice that,” she nods towards a box sitting on the table in front of the fire, “or that Ms. Meade was quite late for dinner? What have you two been up to?”
You feign innocence; she doesn’t buy it for a second. “Whyever would you just assume that she and I had something to do with this?”
“It seems that lately, you two derive some sort of pleasure from finding new and inventive ways to push my sanity to its very limit.”
“Oh darling, I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
She rolls her eyes and you follow her to the table. You both sit and she pulls the box towards her. There is a note on the top that you crane your neck to read.
-Do not open this unless the librarian is present, or else.-
You cover your mouth to stifle your laugh. “I wonder what the or else is?”
“I am sure that I do not want to find out; that is the only reason I abided by your little rule.”
You press a hand to your chest. “My rule? That rule is the box’s rule, dear.”
She elbows you, then lifts the lid from the box. She reaches inside to pull out a small container wrapped in paper. She looks at your questioningly as you stop her from opening it. You cup her cheek and lift her chin to meet your eyes.
“I want you to know, that while I may not have anything extravagant to offer you, I will give you anything within my power. Anything you desire, if I can get it or make it happen, I will do. That is your gift. This,” you pat the parcel in her hands, “is just, something nice. From me.”
She smiles at you, reaching out to press her fingers to your neck, just under your ear.
“Thank you, love. I will have to think about that, though. Is that alright? I do not want to waste such a valuable honor.”
You lace your fingers together, moving towards her and pressing your lips against hers. You whisper against her mouth, “Don’t take too long deciding, you know I’m not very patient.”
She kisses you deeply and nips your bottom lip lightly before pulling away enough to look you in the eye. “What is all this for, not that I am complaining.”
You lean in to press kisses to her neck, her hands come up to stroke your shoulders and she sighs happily. You move your lips to her ear.
“Happy early birthday, darling.”
She pushes you away slowly, squinting at you.
“How do you know--...I knew it; I knew the two of you were working together.”
You can’t stop yourself from laughing at her expression.
“I am sorry, I can neither confirm nor deny that allegation.”
She looks simultaneously impressed and irritated, and she is so cute it makes your heart jump in your chest.
She places the unopened package back on the table, pulling you towards her by your shirt.
“Well, we will see about that.”
She kisses you again, tilting your head up as she trails her lips down your chin, across your neck, stopping to very lightly bite your pulse point. You shiver in her arms. You can feel her smile against your neck as she slips her hand beneath your shirt. Her hand roams higher to cup your breast; she squeezes it gently. Though you are still wearing your bra, you feel your body respond to her touch immediately.
You bury your hands in her hair, tugging lightly on it, taking pride in the way her breath catches when you perform such an action. You do it again, harder this time, and she groans. You laugh as she returns to your lips; she kisses you over and over, murmuring against your lips.
“Do you think you are funny, you little tease?”
You shift your hips beneath her and watch her eyes darken.
“Maybe.”
You pay for that insolent comment as she captures your mouth with her own, moving to press her thigh firmly between your legs. You arch your back at the unexpected contact, grinding against her instinctively. She looks down on you; her breathing is ragged.
“Is it still funny now?”
You open your mouth to speak but all you can manage is a low moan when she presses her leg harder to your center. She has that wild look in her eyes again, and you begin to worry that you will ruin your clothes and hers with how absolutely turned on you are getting. She leans down to trace her tongue around the curve of your ear, hitting a spot you didn’t know you had, one that makes you buck against her and whine.
She is muttering a litany against your skin, anywhere she can press her lips. “You are exquisite, divine, so fucking sexy.”
You press the palms of your hands against her shoulders, hooking one of your legs around hers. You tilt your hips again and she rears up to face you, breathless.
“I know what I want.”
You open your eyes to look at her, and she is biting on her lip, hard. Your voice is thick with want.
“And that is?”
She hesitates, worrying her lip as she does any time she is nervous. You cover her hands with yours, squeezing them softly. She finally speaks.
“I want to watch you...touch yourself. Show me.”
“How do you want me?"
There is a moment where you think she may backpedal; change her mind and shy away as she has before. You wait with bated breath for her to make a decision.
She sits back to allow you to sit up. She is staring at you; she licks her lips and moves back against the arm of the couch.
“Sit between my legs. With your back to me.”
You stand slowly, your head is spinning. You unbutton your shirt and turn from her, suddenly shy as your remove your bra. You toss it on the arm of the couch. You leave the shirt on and when you turn to face her, you can see her eyes drop to the faint outline of your breasts beneath your top. You feel your nipples harden under her scrutiny. You lick your lips and she mirrors your action almost immediately.
“Do you want me to take my pants off?”
She nods, and you do so. You can feel her watching you. Your body feels as if it is on fire, her covetous stare is sending sparks across your skin.
She holds her hand up when you make a move to remove your panties, and motions for you to come to her. You feel like you’re in a trance, and you go to her wordlessly, kissing her deeply before sitting down between her spread legs. Her hands come to rest on your naked outer thighs as her arms encircle you from behind. She places her chin on your shoulder and you can hear her attempting to keep her breathing under control.
She turns to brush her nose against your cheek. Her voice is slow and sweet, and your heart clenches in your chest at her quiet question. “Are you alright with this? Are you ready?”
You nod and turn your head just enough to kiss her quickly. As her tongue slips into your mouth, you slide your hand inside your shirt, running your fingernails lightly down the curve of your breast; you press the flat of your palm against your nipple, sighing against her mouth.
She pulls away from your lips, her eyes drop to your hand moving under your shirt. The thought of her watching you do this sends a bolt of pleasure to your core and you feel another rush come over you.
Her hands do not move from your thighs, but her fingers brush the edges of your shirt. “Let me see.”
You sit up quickly, shrugging your shirt off. You hear her suck in a breath at the sudden exposure of skin, and you lean back against her again. You reach up with your other hand to graze your knuckles across your other breast. You feel her press against your back, moving her body flush against your back. You can feel her breathing is labored; she is watching you shamelessly grope yourself.
You lean your head back against her, sliding your hand down, across your abdomen. The closer you get to your waistband the shorter her breathing becomes.
You smile to yourself, letting your hands roam over every inch of your skin. Slowly, excruciatingly slowly. She is pressing her lips to your shoulder, across your neck and up to your ear.
You move your hips, spreading your legs a bit more to give yourself easier access. Her ministrations to your neck cease and you know she is watching your hand dip under the fabric of your underwear.
As the tips of your fingers brush against your own incredible wetness, you moan low in your throat. There has never been a time in your life where you can remember being this turned on. You press the length of your first two fingers against yourself and hiss though your teeth at the sensation.
She practically purrs in your ear. “I bet you are soaked, aren’t you, darling?”
You whimper, dipping just the tip of a finger between your folds. You are unbelievably wet, and your hips roll of their own accord, seeking more pressure in vain .
She squeezes your thigh, pressing her teeth to your shoulder.
“I asked you a question. I expect an answer. Are you wet, my little tease?”
Your press the heel of your hand against your clit and groan, your hips begin moving in time with your fingers.
“Yes, V, I am. I’m so fucking wet.”
She bites your ear lobe as you swirl your fingers around your clit.
“Who makes you wet like this? Who can do this to you?”
This is absolute bliss; you are sure you are going to combust. Every part of you is on fire; she isn’t even touching you and you feel as if you’re ready to go over the edge.
“You baby, for you. No one but you, you’re the only--ah!”
She has placed her mouth firmly on your shoulder and is sucking hard enough to leave a mark. All the while her hips are moving against your back in time with yours. She is just as turned on as you are.
You turn your head so your lips are close to her ear. “Are you enjoying your present?”
Her hand comes up to cup your left breast; she moves her palm against your nipple gently. You cry out and grind the heel of your hand against yourself. She is trying to kill you, you are sure of it.
“Fuck, V, you know I’m getting close.”
She nuzzles your hair line. “I know. Now stop, I want you to move to the bed so I can see you.”
You stop the movement of your hand, she stands and offers you her hand. You take it, thankful for her assistance as your legs are unsteady. She leads you to her bed and settles you on one side. She leans down to kiss you passionately, and you return her kiss with equal fervor. She holds your chin gently.
“You are unbelievable. The most wonderful, beautiful creature. Are you still alright?”
You nod, swallowing hard at her words. She always seems to know exactly how to speak to you in a way that makes your chest ache. She moves to the other side of the bed, settling in next to you. You lock eyes with her and reach down, slipping your bottoms off and tossing them to the side. It is only slightly embarrassing to you that you have to peel them off.
For the first time seeing you totally naked, Venable is surprisingly composed. You can see her chest rising and falling quickly under her shift, and her face is fully flushed. Other than that and her lust drunk eyes, she shows no outward signs of being flustered.
Her eyes rake down your body, taking in every inch. She reaches out to trail her fingers from your chest down to your hipbone, pressing her fingertips into the dip at your waist.
Goose bumps rise in the trail of her fingers, and she smirks at you.
“Are you cold, darling?”
You shake your head, writhing under her light touch.
She removes her hand from your body, moving closer to you.
“Are you going to finish?”
You nod, feeling a sudden flash of shyness overcome you. She seems to sense this, and she kisses you lovingly, deeply; she whispers against your lips. “I want to watch you cum, my love.”
You whimper at this, skimming your hand down your body. You clutch one, both of your breasts, touching your body the way you wish she would. You finally sink two fingers deep inside yourself, crying out at the sensation. You cover your mouth with your other hand, a gasp escapes your lips as Venable watches you hungrily. You don’t want to break her gaze.
Your move your fingers in and out; the sound of you pleasuring yourself is obscene. You can feel your wetness coating your thighs. She seems to be unable to decide if she wants to watch your hand or your face, as her attention shifts between the two often. She is panting, and you are short of breath yourself.
You moan out loud as you slide your fingers in swift circles around your clit. Your hips are bucking in tandem with your fingers. You catch her eyes.
“I’m...very close, V.”
She wets her lips,coming closer to you..
“Are you going to orgasm?”
You whimper, nodding, reaching up in vain to bring your lips together. She doesn’t allow you to kiss her. You make a frustrated sound.
She grasps your wrist, tugging your hand away from your center.
“Not yet. I am not done enjoying this view. You may continue, but do not cum until I tell you that you may. Do you understand?”
You clench your thighs together; you adore when she is dominant like this. It drives you mad in the best way.
“Yes, V.”
She releases her hold on you, and you lazily draw irregular patterns on your clit. This is delicious torture, and you are loving every second. You are moaning as quietly as you can, and she has not looked away from your eyes once. You hit a sensitive spot and gasp, pressing your lips together.
“I...don’t think I’m going to be able to be quiet.”
She smooths her hand across your hair. “Don’t worry about that, darling. I will take care of you.”
You smile at her, and even through the haze of your arousal you feel such intense love for her that it consumes you. The words spill from your mouth the closer you get to the edge. You close your eyes and arch your back; you cannot hold this off much longer.
“I love you, oh, I love you so....please.”
She hovers her lips, just at the edge of your mouth.
“Please what, love?”
You almost sob, grabbing a fistful of her hair, pulling her closer.
“Please, may I cum?”
She hmms against the curve of your cheek. Your hand is shaking, you can feel yourself throbbing. Desperate for release.
She presses her lips to the edge of your mouth, purring against them.
“Yes. Cum for me, my love. My beautiful girl.”
That is all it takes.
Your fingers finally find the spot you need, and your hips arch off the bed. You begin to call out her name, loudly, and her mouth covers yours to swallow your noises of pleasure. She continues kissing you as you see white hot behind your eyelids and your body shakes.
You think you feel her grind her hips once, twice against your leg. She gasps against your lips and she trembles softly against you, and you fleetingly thing she has had one herself. You try to remember to ask, but your mind is all jumbled up.
As you come down from your high, she is reaching behind your head to retrieve a blanket. Aftershocks course through your body, and you are suddenly very cold, laying nude so far from the fire. You are thankful for her presence of mind in planning for this. After she covers you both with the thick quilt, she wraps her arms around you.
You press your face into her neck, inhaling deeply as she caresses your back. She presses a kiss to your forehead.
“Are you alright? How are you feeling?”
You kiss her neck, murmuring against her shoulder. “Wonderful...and tired.”
You feel the rumble of her laugh more than you hear it.
“Then go to sleep, my love.”
You entwine your legs with hers.
“You don’t want me to leave?”
She is pressing kisses across your forehead, her hands have gone to your hair to thread her fingers through it. You feel more satisfied and happy than you can remember being.
“I want you to stay.”
You grin and move back so that you can kiss her. She cradles you close to her and you think your heart could not possible be more full. You have almost dozed off when you hear her murmur against your temple.
“Thank you for the present; it was by far the best gift I have ever received.”
You place a sleepy kiss to the skin of her chest, snuggling into her again.
