Jul 14
not my dad getting absolutely shocked and losing his composure when i fainted WHEN HE WAS CHOKING ME
seen from United States
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seen from China
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seen from Germany
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seen from Malaysia
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seen from Germany
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not my dad getting absolutely shocked and losing his composure when i fainted WHEN HE WAS CHOKING ME
i hate when people tell me that im the kindest/nicest person theyve met because please dont tell me life has been so cruel to those i adore that the wretched soul that i am is the nicest youve known.
sometimes praying feels like burning inside but i dont know how else to believe.
the things i wouod do to make pakistan a queer safe country. like why cant we go back A LEETLE BIT??? when so many of oyr poets were writing about their male lovers.
when people loved and were accepted for it??
FUCK FUCKING COLONISATION!!!
YK PEOPLE WERE STILL MUSLIM THEN!! IN BARAYSAGHEER (the subcontinent) YET THEY WERE FINE WITH IT!! CZ A WOMAN KISSING A WOMAN AND A MAN KISSING A MAN HAS NO FUCKING EFFECT ON YOUR DEEN MY LOVES!!! YOU CAN CARRY ON BEING A MUSLIM/CHRISTIAN/WHICHEVER RELIGION!!! BUT LET OTHER LIVE!!!!
i say this as a Muslim by the way.
sometimes i have big emotions🫤
now i dont want any islamiphobic shit regarding this post i just need to say shit okay.
theres somethign so tragic in the way i sit my cousin down to do her eye makeup, how i do my mothers eye makeup for special events when the only reason i learned to be good at makeup was when i was trying to be hyperfemme to be accepted.
theres something so tragic in the way my mother started the hijab and i taught her everything, how for every event i style her hijab, how every morning i sit and look over her makeup.
how everyone always every compliments me on the feminine things i do to fit in and i feel the urge to rip my skin off because of it. i look at myseld, the licture perfect person and i realise im my own lacy.
what i wouldnt do to become the licture ive so articularly crafted :/.
i ache to be loved the same way i love, to love in an earth-shattering, all consuming way but its always too much or too little. for once i want to nail the mark, i dont want to fall short, i dont want to exceed, i want to be what you desire and i want to be it all.
but i wonder what good am i when i cant even give you what you desire the most.
because id turn myself inside out for you if you asked and youd still find something to complain about. id rip my intestines out for you if you pleaded once, but ive been pleading all my life and you're yet to raise a finger.