#ajmworks

[ajmthejournalgirl]

[ajmthejournalgirl]

i can feel your energy around me, even when you’re far away. i carry your spirit. so it’s hard to say, you’re leaving soon. my unrequited love. you have to leave soon. sadly, but as the saying goes, i have to let love go.

[ajmthejournalgirl]

I've decided.....

Ive decided that my life is should be self-centered rather than living in fear. a young black woman like suffers from to much worry about how my life is going to be. worry if the world hates me. worry if the black brother will abandon me. worry if i do right by my momma that she'll be happy, eventually. worry if i play my cards right I'll get out of poverty. my last worry is that I'll speak too properly. my world should be selflish. an reclusion into my inner me. i am not giving up on living, I'm just releasing the control button on my manual keys.

[ajmthejournalgirl]

being black ain’t nothin fun

being born black ain’t nothin fun being

born into this world, hated already labeled, lazy glorified because you turn sadness into talent when i was born a black woman i was a child whose purpose was to keep her dad around it was my purpose to make my dad stay faithful to love my mother 25 years later, she’s alone & I’m her punching bag I'm her most hated possession. I’m what is supposed to be her money maker America sees me as a marketer Im so beautiful ,i can sell anything I'm so rhythmic i can dance so well my eyes are dark so I can see beauty in everything i can make something out of nothing because I’m black.

being black ain’t nothin fun as a child my only real purpose was not to get killed by a gun.

[ajmthejournalgirl]

I Wish You Knew

How I wish you only knew,

that you’re a lucky star. i enjoy your company more than a normal girl would. i know that you need to see this for yourself. but, the way that i look at. i only imagine that a friendship like ours could blossom into something beautiful. i feel like if i had held onto to this feeling with the other man before you, it wouldve been a lot more hurt involved. right now, i am willing to wait. you make me focus on me and not just about loving you in my own feelings. i think that is a super plus. therefore, i wish you knew.

how i could love you. i really dont want to imagine you leaving me. and normally im terrible with goodbyes. the real me wouldve let shit fade right now. but you are the male version of me and you pulling back only wants to make me push forward. and when i pulled back, something abt you pulled slightly. i took that slight tug and sent you the funniest video i have. you only read it. thats all i needed. just know that im right here. i aint going to let titles try to downgrade how i feel about you. let me threads on twitter show that im not ashamed to show i love you. 

dont let me go.

when May comes around. we’re both waiting on something that could change our lives. you could find a well paying happy life, i could finally find the love and marriage i’ve been praying for... it is bad that i want you to stop me. stop my anticipating? He;s loved me for a while. I’ve held onto something that i dont know, sexually, Vibing wise, he’s the same as you. a little more fluid. but i really dont know what im waiting on. All i know is that, until i gave having sex with you a shot, i remembered that I’ve felt this same feeling around you ever since i was in middle school. Before i knew what I was feeling was real. It scared the shit out of me, and its scaring me again but this time, i wont jump away from it. I’ll run towards it.

Please, after i say these things. Don’t go freeing yourself. I’m used to hurt just like you. I acknowledge that I’ve been asking Jah for someone who chases me. but i cannot ignore the type of woman i am. You’ve been in my blindspot for years. I dont have any pride to chase somebody i want in my life. I’ve done a lot of reading. It’s not that i need you, i want you.

[ajmthejournalgirl]

What a Blessing to Be A Black American

what freedom is

what creativity is

where expression is it’s loudest

diversity defined, simplified

and represented by a ethnic group

what a Blessing it is to be a Black American

[ajmthejournalgirl]

What a Blessing to Be A Black American what freedom is

what creativity is

where expression is it’s loudest

diversity definitions simplified and represented by one race

what a Blessing it is to be a Black American

[ajmthejournalgirl]

I’m so happy that this is the last of you...

it took 5 years to get over a 4 year toxic relationship.. Two counted for relationship and one very romantic courtship in the midst of it all. It takes time to heal but don’t lose faith in your heart. Just be you.