#akari writes

[dangraccoon]

Would anyone be interested if I posted some Percy Jackson fanfiction?

[millenniumwhite]

Go

He sees her The paleness of her face Her eyes wide and smile faded away Those warm moments are gone now Reality has come

He's not the one

His mind slips He wonders why But no amount of questions will answer No deeds with turn her

She's made her choice

His heart swells It's almost unbearable Pain squeezes at him And it's suffocating

He’s angry Confused Sad Afraid

But he loves her He loves her so much So much

So he lets her go

Go find happiness… Even if it’s not with him Because in his heart His deepest desire

Is her happiness

[millenniumwhite]

Gosh I don't know where to start.

How does someone, who meant so much to me...someone who meant the world to me...someone I couldn't see myself without...someone who was the only reason I would smile and go through the day just to see them at the end of it...someone who I loved so much that it hurt to simply be without him...how does someone like that become a total stranger?

And the worst part is...how did I let him? How did I let my best friend go?

I know...because I was quiet. I never told him my feelings, and I never can. He's happy now, happier than I've ever seen him. And I can't go and ruin it.

But it just hurts so much. It hurts to be in this much pain and he doesn't even know why. It hurts to be in this much pain...and he doesn't even care.

It also hurts to know that he is not the one for me. He is not the one God has in store for me...but my heart can't seem to accept that.

All signs point away from him, yet my heart holds fast.

My spirits lighten when he walks in the room, yet they fall further down when he leaves without even a glance...

How did I lose him?

[millenniumwhite]

Poison, Fairy, Water, Ground, Steel

OMG Michelle!! xD Thank you!!

Poison: Name something you enjoy, but that no one else seems to.

Water: What do you do when you feel you need to be healed?

I listen to music, the genre being soft folk type music or slow love songs :)

I also sleep, a lot

Ground: Who helps you stay on the “right path”?

Steel: Name an opinion/practice you are adamant about, something you will not change.

Fairy: Tell us a story. Any story.

The sky meets the sea as the pairs of eyes lock on each other.

The whole world seems to fade away and the two beings forget all priorities. All objectives and goals are put on hold.

It’s as if a chain is formed between the two. A connection. A sort of binding two one another has now formed.

Her deep blue eyes falter for a second, she is aware of the dangers around her and the young man standing in front of her. Yet she can’t tear her eyes away. The icy blue orbs of the said young man are staring with so much intensity that it feels like he is reading her very soul and she feels that if she were to look away, her own eyes my start tearing it. And the last thing she wanted to do was cry in front of a man she had never met.

Instead he was the first to look away as the young man’s brows furrowed and an expression of pain flashed across his face, but it was gone as quickly as it left “We need to get out of here” he said looking at her, yet avoiding eye contact now.

She was confused but chose not to question it aloud “Agreed” she stated, keeping her voice level and trying to sound as though her breath was not just taken away. The nameless young man then grabbed her by the hand and dragged her.

Rustling could be heard coming from her far left and the fear of the unknown caused her to pick up speed as she began dragging the young man instead, it was then she realized that she had no idea where she was going. Apparently he thought the same as he yanked her to the left and began running ahead of her as before. He shot a half-smile to her over his shoulder and she got the message that he would take it from there.

It was hard to tell how long or how far they ran but by the time they stopped her legs had already been turned to jelly and her lungs were on fire. She bent over panting and stabling herself on her knees as she tried to catch her breath. Still panting, she looked up and took in her surroundings, the absence of trees left the area in a sort of circular clearing.

"Sorry about that." said the young man as he approached her "I knew once we reached this part of the forest we would be away from any sort of danger."

"And how…do you…know that…exactly?" she breathe struggling to become even.

"I’ve had my fair share of exploring in this forest." He said smugly as a smirk formed on his face.

"Exploring?" The gasp caused her to lose the air she had built up "But this is an enchanted forest. One does not simply explore it."

"A regular being should never explore this forest. Fortunate for you I am no regular being." The statement confused her as she didn’t know if it should frighten or comfort her. Seeing as how he just saved her life she figured it was better not to ask.

Then it came to mind, as her breath finally evened out she stood up straight, fixed herself, then the words “Thank you” were voiced and he simply smiled at her. His smile warmed her down to the bones and she knew she had nothing to fear.

"The thanks are not needed but it is appreciated. You can thank me when I get you out of this forest, which I will do as soon as we rest up a bit, with an open area such as this nothing is going to try and attack us." He said as he sat down in the middle of the clearing and then leaned back until he was fully lying on the ground. He let out a sigh as he closed his eyes and breathed in through his nose, stretching while doing so.

She let out a slight giggle as she knelt next to him and he responded by looking up at her “Nole.” was all he said and her confused expression told him that he should elaborate a little further “Nole is my name.”

This is a little something I’m working on, names have not been given except for Nole’s, and even ‘Nole’ is a nickname (btw it is pronounced the way it is spelled).

Thank you so much for asking Michelle! I had a lot of fun answering your questions!

[millenniumwhite]

Okay Akari

It's time for bed Put all fanning away No matter I much you wish they'd stay Hot Wans who swish and sway While the elements dance away But a good episode twas today And now that all is said and done On comes another day It is time for bed And everything is okay

[millenniumwhite]

Day 24 (Share Any Experiences Where You've Been Bullied For Liking Anime)

Okay here we go,

This happened back when I was 15/16. An old friend of mine, one that I have known since the age of 7, started a conversation with me the other day. We got into different topics and she asked what I want to do over the summer. I sighed and said "All I want to do and laze around and watch anime." Her whole disposition changed.

"Anime? Isn't that, like, a cartoon?" she said.

"Sort of" I replied and explained what it was. At first she seemed genuinely interested but after talking about it for a couple of minutes (seriously, 2 minutes) we moved on to a different topic.

A few days later I found her being quite distant and avoiding me. I thought it could be many things. I'm overweight, nerdy, a tomboy, and meanwhile she's girly, a bit boy-crazy, and stylish, but I love her like a sister. So I thought about a lot of things that could be causing this, until I heard from a mutual friend of ours.

"Why don't you two talk that much anymore?"

"I don't know. I don't know what could have happened. Did she ever tell you anything" I asked.

Her face got sad and she looked away from me, took a deep breath, then looked at me. "She said she doesn't like how childish you are. How you still watch cartoons, power rangers, transformers, and play videos games with boys." She went into further detail but that was the surmise of it.

I cried and to make matters worse. I found out my (crush at that time) disliked those same things about me and it only made me worse. I went through a period where I wanted to give it all up, reform to them, and be what they wanted me to be.

But I said no. I enjoy these things, to wish them away from me is like ripping happiness right out of my hands. Anime may be a cartoon but it's so much more than that. It makes you laugh, cry, learn, and teaches you lessons. I will always remember what I learned from Spirited Away. When Chihiro leaves Haku she never cried or complained about it, she merely thought "I'll meet you again." And that taught me to be patient and that one day I will meet my "Haku". Anime has taught me even more valuable lessons like that and I never want to forget them.

I gave those same reasons to my old friend. I told her why I like these things and why I find them so enjoyable. She cried, I cried, and we embraced like the sisters we are. Other friends who had the same problem with me left me alone, and good riddance. I let go of my crush because not only did he continue to dislike that about me but he found himself with a crush on my best friend (OH HECK NO xD NOT MY BFF/SISTER). So I guess it was better left alone.

I've had many other experiences with people not approving of me liking anime, even my parents don't fully approve but they trust me and my judgement so they let me anyways. But I will never forget this experience when I almost lost (and eventually did lose) the most friends.

[millenniumwhite]

My Testimony/A Doll On A Shelf

First I only have one sibling and he is younger than me by two minutes. That's right. I'm a twin. I'm the "big" sister to a fraternal, twin brother. He's a cool guy and one of my closest friends, I've never spent a day without him and I don't plan to in the future.

First a little history...

I am a privileged child but my Christian upbringing combined with over-protective parents leaves little room for error. My entire childhood was being my mom's doll sitting on a shelf and she dressed me in whatever she had planned due to her seamstress hobbies. My interests were irrelevant to her and she left the play time to my dad and brother.

My dad gave us a lot of leeway, yes he disciplined us and raised us right but he played with us and taught us a lot of valuable lessons, such as how to dunk a cookie in a glass of milk. I was and will always be a daddy's girl as I know I can go to my dad for anything and he was always listen, understand, and try to comfort me.

Now my brother had a lot of influence on me and I vice-versa but he had the biggest change on me once he got interested in Star Wars, Transformers, Bionicle, and many other little boy things. That is when I became a full grown tomboy. I bought the toys, watched the movies & tv shows and became a natural nerd by the age of 9.

My mom and I have the trickiest relationship. I love her with all my heart but she only cares about her interests, fashion, the Bible, crafting, sewing, and the whole girly package to top it off. While I have books, models, anime, manga, and my most treasured blue jeans (which she always threatens to throw away and replace with a skirt). In order to ever spend time with her I have to force myself to join her in her interests, help her craft, go shopping with her, etc. But my biggest problem is that I have her personality. Meaning I voice my opinion openly sometimes and that's a problem to my mom.

If I complain (and I admit I do complain a little much) she will always scold me and give me that stern look all mothers give their children. I dislike it though since I'm used to my calm dad who would talk me out of my bad mood and figure out ways to make me smile and make me see the silver lining in things. But my mom is not like that.

But make no mistake, I was a very obedient child along with my brother. My parents are very involved in church and the children of the people my parents volunteered with always wanted to play with us.

This is where is started...

I met a girl when I was 9 years old, this girl introduced me to lots of other little girls and I became fast friend with them. Naturally when you have a best friend you tell them secrets. I told this girl a lot of secrets. Secrets about personal stuff, secrets about my dreams, my thoughts, and even boys who I thought were cute. This girl made my self-esteem hit the center of the earth until I thought I was living in hell itself. She told my secrets to the other girls, who in turn bullied me relentlessly. She told the boys who I thought were cute about me and even constantly hung around him. I was in constant torture every time I went to church or when my parents volunteered.

The only peace I had was when I was in Sunday school. The teacher would shush everyone and then filled the rooms with tales of David & Goliath, The walls of Jericho, and everything about the Bible. I have been in a Christian school since kindergarten and I still looked forward to Sunday school.

It was when I was 11 did that girl and her family left the church; and the rumors died down about me. But by then I was truly alone. My brother had a best friend and they spent their time playing around with Star Wars action figures and play lightsaber duels. My relationship with my mom grew better but there's only so much I can talk to her about. My dad was always there for me but I could never tell him about what I was going through (he had so much going on already). I went back to being that doll sitting on top of a shelf. Smiling, waving, waiting for someone to notice me and play with me.

I was 12 when my life finally began. I met a girl (I call her Ash) and she became the bestest friend I will ever have even to this day. She understood me, my interests, my wishes, and fears. She introduced me to more dear friends and helped me become the person I am today. She was there during my first heartbreak as I was there during her first heartbreak. Even as we both grew a little different we still remain very close. There are times she doesn't understand an interest of mine, she doesn't understand anime, editing, or anything I'm really passionate about. But she loves me, and she tries to understand me, not the things I enjoy, that's what makes her my best friend.

My spiritual life is never one to be questioned. I love God and always will. But I never experienced God's love until I made friends and became my own person instead of just a doll sitting on a shelf. I am happy now and content with things as God allows them to happen.

My mom and I have found a mutual love of classic/current movies and crime shows. We can spend a whole day watching a law & order marathon. My mom became even more awesome when she took interest in the Avengers, Star Wars, Star Trek, and Lord of the Rings. We are mutual fangirls in that area and I now know that my fangirling is definitely genetic.

My dad is awesome and he always will be. My brother and I are closer than ever and he gives me a lot of feedback in what animes to watch and he even helps me when I'm stuck with editing videos. (I call him my producer)

I do not know what the future will bring. I still have many hurdles to leap over and many people to meet. But I know that I am much happier now then when I was a doll on a shelf.

[millenniumwhite]

Simply Akari

So today (or yesterday/April 11th) marked the 5 year anniversary of my old Pastor's death.

You see, me growing up I didn't have anyone to depend on.

I'm the oldest so that meant I had to care for my younger brother and be the example, the leader, the role model.

To my parents I had to be the perfect child. I had to have perfect manners, smile, talk when spoken to.

I didn't have any friends since I was a "goody-two-shoes".

My cousins listened to what the other kids said and were embarrassed to even be around me.

My maternal grandmother loved my cousins more than me and my brother while my paternal grandfather has had alzheimer's since I was 3.

I always felt my paternal grandmother loved my brother more than me (since he was the spitting image of my dead uncle) and my paternal grandfather died the year before I was born.

But my Pastor...he saw me. Not "my parent's child", the "child of Ministry directors", or "the oldest". He saw a little girl who was a little lonely but knew how to make the most of a situation. That even if I felt alone, I was smart enough to know I wasn't really alone. He was the first to profess me to be a Sunday School teacher, to make a name for myself, to say I could succeed in anything I put my mind to.

He was the first to say that I would marry a good man. And that I would be a great mother. And that my generation would exceed that of my parents.

He was the grandfather I never had.

My biggest memory was back when was 7 years old and I took spanish lessons, the first class we learned was how to sing "Happy Birthday" in spanish. Since Spanish was his native language I did my best and successfully learned the whole song in Spanish. When his birthday came up we had it at my church, his wife, sons, and daughters, all got on the stage and wished him a happy birthday while I sat quietly with my parents. Then after we prayed for him and the party began and everyone got up to serve themselves something to eat. But then my parents drag me and my brother over to the Pastor's table so we could wish him a happy birthday. My parent's wish him a happy birthday, my dad gives him a hug, and they both laugh about something in Spanish as the Pastor ruffles my little brother's hair.

But then...

He looks at me, he comes over to me, shakes my hand, and asks if I know how to say "Happy Birthday" in Spanish. I smiled as I said "Even better. I know how to sing the song." His face lit up as he said "Can you please sing it?" I took in a deep breath...

I didn't have the perfect voice for a 7 year old. I was a little off-key, and my voice shook a little out of nervousness. But after singing for a only a short span of 15 seconds. I then noticed that the noise of 100 party attendees had faded to a small silence. And by the time I finished all eyes were on me, but I wasn't nervous, because I noticed something else. Each and every attendee, adult or child, had a smile on their face, but the biggest and brightest was that of the Pastor.

He kneeled down and looked at me in the eyes. He told me that his birthday wish was to see his children get married. But now he not only wishes to see his children get married, but me as well.

He was able to see 3 of his children get married before he went to be with the Lord.

I am 17 now, not married of course. But I'm at a point in my life where love is a complete mystery to me. I have not met my future husband, and I wonder if there's gonna be a time where I meet him at all.

But all that aside, after his death I went back to being my parents child, the oldest, the responsible one. And put on a puppet show for the whole world to see. I am a constant mask that, to this day, I still wear.

But because of the Pastor, I gained the courage to go out, and I made a life long friend. I gained the courage to meet new people and I learned that sometimes it was okay to take the mask off occasionally.

I am sad that he is gone. More so on this day. But I know that he is in a much better place and I have to live my life, but never forget the things I learned from him.

And to this I thank all my followers and YT subscribers. You all have become the people I can take my mask off in front of. I am not my parent's child or the oldest.

Simply Akari :D